


Triage

by Dfygrvty99



Category: Divergent - All Media Types, Divergent Series - Veronica Roth
Genre: AU after Divergent, AU in the middle of Insurgent, F/M, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-21
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2018-08-16 13:14:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 90,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8103853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dfygrvty99/pseuds/Dfygrvty99
Summary: A story about love, acceptance, friendship, and redemption. Tris is dead. Jeanine Matthews is in hiding, Caleb is head of Erudite and Dauntless is broken. News laws have been enacted to help strengthen each faction. Talia a double transfer has been given the chance to help her Daunltess family rebuild but with a secret and revenge on her mind it could be a difficult road ahead.





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started this with a prompt and this is what came out. I've read/listened to each book and have seen one of the movies. I've taken bits from each and molded it into this work. Thank you Booklady and Steelholtingon for all the red ink.

_She leaned over something that would one day be a car. The prickle of the hairs on her arms alerted her to presence of someone else, but she was so immersed in rebuilding this ...thing...that she jumped at the actual touch. She realized too late that she was pinned against her project_

_“I want you.”_

_She breathed a sigh, allowing the hand to become an arm snaking around her middle. Taking a deep breath, she smelled mint and wind. She put down the tool in her hand, turning to face her lover.“Then take me.”_

  
Talia woke with a jump, and then lay back down to slow her heartbeat. All her recent dreams were ending this way, with her waking up just as she started turning around.  
  
“Damn it!” She needed to move, or else she would spend the rest of the night awake in bed wondering what her dream meant. She looked at her watch; it was two-thirty in the morning, really too early to get breakfast. She could either read, work out (maybe later on that one), or work on her new project, maybe start looking at engine blocks. Yes. She could do that.

The lights came on automatically when she walked into her other room. Pulling down The Idiot’s Guide to Auto Repair, she began to skim the contents, momentarily distracted by the opening line: ‘Make sure that your vehicle is turned off before attempting any type of repair. Electrical shock may occur.’ _Were enough people dumb enough to need that reminder?_

She finished with the intro and took a good look at the table of contents, hoping that a useful chapter would jump out at her so she could start really putting that engine together. Chapter 7, ‘Engine solutions,’ looked promising.

But just as she was starting to read, her alarm went off; she must have dozed off for a bit. Remembering her list of projects, she grabbed a pair of black slacks, black knee high boots, and her favorite red top. This was a Dauntless day. After dressing herself, she made herself approach the one place she hated in her whole apartment - the mirror above her bathroom sink. She wasn’t one who cared about appearances in general, but her own face wasn’t something she wanted to look at.

But after splashing water on her face, she looked up at her reflection anyway. As always, her eyes flicked to the right, where the scar from her lips to her cheek, the “gift” from her brother and her mother, always brought back such terrible memories. Looking away, she pulled her hair back into a band and smoothed it out of her face.  
  
Grabbing her jacket, Talia walked out of her apartment and stood listening for any noise other than the water under the bridge. Once this great chasm was a raging river and a place that Dauntless members would test their might. Now it was a shield between her and a busy, loud world when she needed one.

She hid in the shadows of her entryway, hoping no one saw her leave her apartment. _I really need to move on from that_. With that thought, she stepped into the sight of anyone who might pass the bridge that separated her from the rest of the Dauntless compound.

This was her favorite time of day. No one but the overnight security detail was up, and they were few and never made any noise. Talia was the only member of Dauntless who lived on the south side of the chasm, but she felt safer there. She loved her Dauntless family, but since she was one of the first initiates to be part of two factions, there were still times that she felt like an outsider.

A few years ago, when the governing council had decided to conduct an experiment to see if someone could thrive as a member of two factions, Talia had been first on the list from Erudite. The government’s idea was to help each faction become stronger. She’d wanted nothing more than to escape that faction simply because of her mother.

She wasn’t the only one awake at this hour after all, she noticed, pulling herself out of the bad memories. Christina, one of the Dauntless leaders Talia actually liked, met her in the middle of the bridge. Christina was the type of person that one either liked or hated. Her family was Candor, and although she used some of those traits throughout her day, she was truly Dauntless; laid back, but daring and ruthless when needed.

Studying Talia with a concerned expression, she asked, “Talia, is everything ok?” As she spoke, she placed a gentle hand on Talia’s elbow to keep her from walking away.

“Yes,” Talia replied. “I couldn’t sleep.”

“I know the feeling,” Christina said with a sigh. “Too many nights, Will and I wake each other with our dreams.” Her eyes began to well up with tears. “And we just stay up after that.”  
  
“Tris was the root of Dauntless, wasn’t she?” Talia asked.

“How did you know I was talking about Tris?” Christina asked. “I never mentioned her name.”

“Most Dauntless don’t mention her name, but if they’re talking about her, their eyes get teary. I didn’t mean any disrespect, Christina.”

“Tris was a good friend. We were in the same initiate class. She was the first jumper, and since she was from Abnegation, it was a pretty big deal. Your Dauntless name is Triage?”

“Yeah. Long story short, I can see faults or damage and fix them faster than most,” Talia replied. “Also I react first, think later.”

“I’m ready to hear that story. But back to what you were saying about Tris. She, Will, Four, and myself helped save Abnegation from Jeanine Matthews and her band of lunatics. Jeanine went into hiding, and we’ve spent years trying to find her. We were hoping that when the joint faction resolution was adopted we would have more initiates, but most twofers don’t last through training. They just can’t seem to shake the habits of the faction they came from.” Christina shrugged. “You hungry?”

“Yep, just heading to the cafeteria to grab breakfast.” Talia replied. _It's nice to actually have someone talk to me besides my crew._

“I’ll join you,” Christina said as they started walking. The cafeteria was in the northwest corner of the compound and about a hundred yards from Talia’s shop.

“Most twofers?” Talia questioned. “Better than other names, I guess.”

“Do you prefer me to call you Talia or Triage?” Christina asked. “Never mind. Honestly, Triage doesn’t really suit you. So I think I’ll call you Talia.”

“Ok.” Talia shrugged. “There are only a few people who call me Talia, but if you and the leadership call me Talia, I’m cool with it.”

“In front of other Dauntless members we can call you Triage.” Christina stopped. “Like you have to have inside knowledge or something. I’m guessing most people call you Triage?”

“Yeah.” Christina’s conversation was making Talia dizzy. _Pretty sure the person who gave me this name didn't exactly know what it meant_. “Ok,” she repeated.

“You tensed up when I mentioned Jeanine Matthews. Why?”

“I’d like to help,” Talia said, trying to deflect the question.  
  
“Why?” Christina asked again. “You haven’t been Dauntless that long; it’s been what, five years? And since you came from Erudite, Jeanine was your leader. Why help us find her, when you know we plan to kill her?”

“I wasn't raised Erudite. Born Erudite, given to Amity, forced to go back to Erudite at sixteen. I chose Dauntless when I was twenty. Dauntless is my faction, Dauntless is my family. Frankly, Jeanine Matthews can go to hell, and I’d like to be the one to throw her body into the chasm.”

“I’m guessing you have a good reason?” Christina asked.

“More than one,” Talia snarled.

Christina studied Talia’s scowl. “Very well, meet me at my place after lunch, and we can get to know you better.”

“We?” Talia asked. “And why do I feel like I just volunteered for something I know nothing about?”

Christina just smiled, wide, almost laughing. “Yes, we. You’ll see. I'll give you a chance to back out if you want. Just come over.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Talia said.

Distracted by their arrival in the cafeteria, Christina squealed, “Look! Eggs.”

“I hope there’s bacon,” Talia mused. She was starving. Her hope was fulfilled; the closer she got to the serving area, the more she could smell the bacon cooking. After the talk with Christina on top of the dream, Talia was hoping that a bacon sandwich or two would help clear her head and help her get ready for the day.

“Talia, I’ll see you later. I got some things I need to do.” Christina walked off eating her egg sandwich.

Talia walked out of the cafeteria a little later with three eggs, four bacon sandwiches, and a large cup of water with a wedge of lemon. With breakfast in hand in neatly stacked containers, it was time to go and talk with Tori about the tattoo idea. Juggling the containers, she scarfed the eggs and then knocked on Tori’s door.

In spite of the early hour, Tori poked her head out immediately. From the instant welcome, Talia got the feeling Tori had been awaiting both her and the food with equal enthusiasm.

“Hey, Talia, what will it be today?” Tori asked, giving her a hug.

Talia still remembered the day that she was apprenticed to Tori. She had walked into Tori’s shop and been put to work immediately. She wasn’t allowed to give anyone a tattoo yet; she was sent to clean all the equipment instead. She cleaned everything so well that Tori was astonished. Talia’s art was even more astonishing. She could draw anything a customer needed, but it was her creativity that really impressed Tori. After that day Tori was like a second mother, always making time for Talia whenever she needed a break or to talk.

“I want that Phoenix we talked about, please. But I think we need to show maybe a baby phoenix rising out of the ashes first and then later on an adult version?”

“I can do that,” Tori replied, eying the placement. “Adult version? How would you place that?”

“I was thinking we could cover the scars on my back with its feathers?”

“I like it. Let’s sit and draw it out so I know what colors we’re talking about. Also, that means you’ll have to show me the scars. But if we put the ashes down first we can go from there.” Tori was clearly excited, and just as clearly it was the art itself that excited her. “What will you offer in payment for the ashes? And are we doing the baby head or just the ashes? If we do just the ashes we can leave a small point where I can start on the head.”

“Two bacon sandwiches and two credits for payment. I think your idea of waiting on the head is a good one. I'm not sure if I want it to be done with the infuser or the standard needle.”

“Will I be getting eggs today as well?” Tori asked, knowing the response.

“Oh, Tori, I already ate them. Please just take the sandwiches and the credits.” Talia hated to beg, but she loved eggs.

“Damn. Ok, two sandwiches and two credits.” Talia could see Tori trying to hold in the smile.

“Well,” Tori continued, “since ashes are the easiest thing to do, we can use the infuser for them. For the rest we need to do the artwork to see how it should be done.”

Talia sighed with relief. “Thanks.” She handed over her payment and lay down in the chair, preparing herself for pain.

Tori started to gather her tools while Talia shifted herself into the right frame of mind. She had to remind herself, _this is Tori. It’s not my mother. This is something I want._

“Talia, I need to know something,” Tori said, cleaning the area where she would place the tattoo. “How did you get your scars?”

“A lovely gift from my mother. She couldn’t do it herself, but she had my older brother do it for her.”

“Brother?” Tori’s voice sounded a little stunned. “You never told me you had a brother.”

“He was in Dauntless. He was born Erudite and was raised in the faction, but he transferred to Dauntless hoping to help my mother find the Divergents.” _At least she missed one_.

Talia appreciated that Tori kept her talking to keep her mind off the pain. She looked back over her shoulder in time to see Tori place the infuser on her back. Tori pressed the ink trigger and the conversation began again, switching abruptly to another topic, since Tori obviously noticed Talia’s discomfort at talking about her family.

“So, what’s on the to do list for today?” Tori asked.

“Not much. It’s a Dauntless kind of day, a couple knives, a few radios, an engine, and a meeting with Christina.”

“Good day’s work. Wait a minute. Christina? As in Dauntless Leader Christina?”

“Yeah.”

“Can’t wait to hear this one,” Tori said, rolling her eyes. “Nice work. Speaking of which, would you stay with repair or move to something different in the future?”

“Repair is really just a hobby for me, Tori. Keeps my mind busy and keeps me out of my apartment.”

“Let’s talk more about that soon,” Tori said. “I’ve told you before that your art should be first and the repair shop second.”

“Yeah I know.” After a moment of indecision,Talia faltered, “Tori, I’ve been having this dream, not every night but several nights a week.”

Again Tori seemed to realize this was an upsetting topic. Her voice was gentle. “Talia, tell me what’s going on.”

“It’s hard to explain. It’s about something that I want but am too scared to get, I guess. You remember me telling you about how I grew up, right?”

“Yeah, no emotion and stuff. Which honestly is weird since Amity are like free spirits.”

“Yep, but being in Dauntless these last few years has made me feel that I can have what I desire. Don't get me wrong, Amity allowed me to be free with my art but after the day was done I was forced to study for a while. I was never truly able to make friends or find love. Still, I’m not sure if desiring anything is good for me.”

“What do you desire?” Tori asked.

“Love?” Talia responded. “Friendship more than anything. Tori, you’re really my only friend. I love you, and I’m grateful, but I can’t keep holding things in until I see you again. I don’t know how to do that anymore. Things start to pile up and I let loose. I mean you should see the holes in the walls in the shop.”

“What about all those people who’ve been saying they want you for leadership? You’ve done some great things since becoming a member here,” Tori pointed out.

Talia just shrugged. “I turn in an application for leadership every few months and it goes nowhere. I was first in my class for cryin’ out loud.”

“We all want love and friendship, Talia, but both can be elusive. If love is your desire, wait. It’ll show itself. If it’s friendship, you have to be the one to go after that.”

“Yeah,” Talia sighed.

“Hey, why don’t we have dinner one night and we can just talk about everything that’s been going on with both of us. It’s been too long since we did that,” Tori said as she finished up today’s work and began to put her tools away.

“Of course,” Talia responded. “Thanks for the tat.”

*******

Once her new tattoo was finished, Talia headed to her shop and gathered her blow torch, welding tools, her leather coverings, and her goggles. She always meant to do a good job, but when she was doing the dangerous work on purpose she was careful. The knives, only eight, took half an hour to solder back together. She was still kicking herself for breaking her set. She would buff and polish them once they cooled, and in the meantime, the sweat pouring down her face and body from the heat was enough to warrant another shower.

However, when she went to test one of the knives, throwing it full force at her wall, it broke again. She set the whole set aside for another look later. The three radios took a good part of the morning to fix; she had to rewire one of them entirely. Her soldering tool was starting to fritz out on her too, and that would have to be fixed or replaced. After the radios were finished, Talia decided to call it a day. She washed her hands and face, and put away her tools, leathers, gloves, and goggles. As she was resetting her hair, she glanced at the time, gasped, and bolted for her meeting with Christina.

Talia hoped the meeting wouldn’t take too long, because there was an engine in her back room that she was dying to work on. She had wanted to spend her whole day on that engine, but her real work came first. New requests turned up all the time. Anything mechanical came to her, and even the occasional basic medical problem.

Just before lunchtime was over she arrived at Christina’s apartment. She was a few minutes early, but she knocked anyway.

“Yeah,” she heard through the door. Very few Dauntless said “come in.”

She opened this one and stuck her head inside. “You wanted to see me?”

“Hey, Talia. Come on in,” Christina said, waving her into the apartment. “This is Will,” she pointed to the man on her right, “And behind you is Four.”

Talia shook Will’s hand and then Four’s. Four’s handshake made her want to prove herself. She was unnerved; his eyes were deep blue and mesmerizing, but what really caught her attention was his smell. Mint and wind. Just like her dream. She reminded herself that she wasn’t here to get his attention, but Four wouldn’t let go of her hand. He stared at her intently, though she honestly wasn’t sure if he was looking at her or through her. _Damn if she hadn’t crushed on him, like everyone else_ , she realized.

“Well,” Christina sighed, “Now that that’s all over we can begin.”

Four let go of Talia’s hand with a jump like he’d been shocked.

“As the representative for Dauntless, I need an assistant,” said Four. His eyes never wavered from Talia’s face. “Christina and Will think you would be perfect for the job.”

“If you want me to.” Talia replied, heart pounding. A job with Four. How could she get so lucky? He was not only the outside representative for Dauntless, he was the Head of Dauntless. The leaders reported to him. _Oh shit! A possible job with Four? Is this really happening. Ack!_ Her brain was going a mile a minute.

“Christina called you Talia. Is that your name?”

“My birth name is Talia. Triage is the name given to me by Dauntless.”

“Last name.” Now he seemed annoyed. Like this whole thing was beneath him or a waste of his time.

“It’s not important.” The joy she had felt vanished, replaced by fear and anger. _If they find out who I am will they send me back to Erudite? Could they possibly already know and not care?_

Four shrugged and handed her some papers. “I see. Bring these back to me later. We’ll discuss your options and I’ll decide if you can have the job. Are you happy in the repair business?”

“Sometimes,” She responded. “I’ve applied for other things, but I get no response. It seems that my applications have been either overlooked or thrown away. The only other job I’ve had was working under Tori, the head tattoo artist.”

“Hmm.” He said. Then he nodded to everyone and walked out.

“My, he’s approachable,” Talia muttered. How long could she really work with and for someone who acted like that? He was cute, sure, but that would only get him so far. His attitude was crap.

Christina laughed until tears came out of her eyes, “Tris said the exact same thing our first night as initiates. I told her she had a death wish.”

“Talia,” Will said, turning toward her, “We want you at Four’s side.”

“Why?” Talia asked. “I only repair things.” _I might get sick of his attitude and kill him_. But something deep inside her began to wake, something she had never felt. She wanted this. Repairing things was a hobby, even a passion, but she wanted to help her Dauntless family in some really significant way. _Killing Jeanine Matthews would do the trick_.

“Do you like your job?” Christina asked.

“It's a job. I was Tori's apprentice until she saw me fix me one of her tools. Then I was moved to repair. I want to do more, but I haven’t had the chance so far. I’ll live. I do have some personal building and restoration projects that I want to start, but finding the time can be difficult.”

“We need to find Jeanine Matthews,” Will said flatly. “Four, Christina, and I know that with your background with Erudite, all the background checks and performance evaluations we ran, you can help us a lot. We hear rumors that you want to train as a leader, but you took repair.”

_They know? Well crap!_ “Tori introduced me to Mac. He saw what I had fixed and a few of my drawings for things I wanted to do, and brought me on board. Before he died, he gave his shop to me.”

“I heard that he did that, but will you help us?”

“I’m all in, but there could be some things you might not like about me.” Talia replied.

*****

  
Talia was closing her shop when Four heard her whistling. He stopped to listen when the whistles turned to singing:

“I'm a long time travelling here below  
I'm a long time travelling away from home  
I'm a long time travelling here below  
To lay this body down.”

He stepped in, coughing, “You never got those papers back to me.”

Talia jumped. She wasn’t used to men talking to her calmly, but then again she wasn’t used to men. She looked up to see him and couldn’t help admiring his irresistible body; she knew the stories about him and Tris but she always admired from afar. _Like all the other girls in Dauntless_.

“Yeah, sorry. It’s been a busy day.” She was blushing. “I got back here and had at least four Dauntless waiting, needing stuff fixed.”

All Four needed to do was look around to see that she never had a moment to breathe. Dauntless members needed things fixed all the time. Knife blades, hilts, car parts, and wires were stowed neatly in various states of repair everywhere he looked. He felt something stir in his stomach. He watched her a little longer, considering his thoughts. “Tris was an excellent partner in Dauntless matters, but as a girlfriend she lacked trust. She never let anyone in.”

“So how…” Words failed him. Talia hadn’t stopped to look at him. All she was doing was picking stuff up, but he had to admire her beauty and determination. He had to keep talking or he might regret his actions. He wanted to pull her into his arms and kiss her senseless. “So how did you get the name Triage?” He asked, trying to be nonchalant. Christina and Will had given him her story, but he wanted to hear it from her in case Christina and Will were toying with him. He was pretty sure Talia would tell him the truth; he had already begun to trust her without really knowing her, which scared him.

“I was first jumper in my initiate class.” Her words - though maybe her friendliness had cooled somewhat - brought him back into the moment. “The next two jumpers landed safely, but I noticed that the net was starting to fray. When Trevor jumped, his first bounce was fine, but then when he came back down the net gave way and he fell through. I was able to get the net knotted back together so the rest could jump safely, and I had Trevor up on the landing with his leg set before the next jumper hit the net. That’s why when I took over mending the net I made sure that there is a second net and then a backup just in case.”

“I’m guessing that the section you repaired is hanging there on your wall,” Four said, pointing over her shoulder.

She turned around to look where he was pointing, then turned back to him with a smile. “Yeah. Along with everything I’ve built for myself.”

Four was amazed. He saw all of the things she built for herself and only knew what a few of them were. The next words that came out of his mouth scared him, though. “You look like Tris,” he blurted, and immediately regretted it.

Talia just gave a small laugh; not a really amused one, though. “Not sure if that’s a good or bad thing.”

“Sorry,” he muttered, putting his hands in his pockets and looking away. “Can we get together later to talk?”

“I’m going to dinner soon. Wanna have dinner with me or meet after? We can meet at my place.”  
  
There was nothing attached to that, even he could see that, but Four was a little angry. How could he just betray Tris by walking into Talia’s apartment? “Umm, not sure that’s a wise decision.”

“Then you pick a place,” she replied.

“Where do you live?” he asked, giving in. In the back of his mind he knew he was being stupid. It shouldn’t matter where they met. And he wanted to know her better.

“On the other side of the chasm.” Four raised his eyebrows, and Talia admonished, “Don’t look so shocked. If you want to talk, or have us get to know each other, that’ll be comfortable. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get this place clean before my boss throws a fit.”

“Who’s your boss?” he asked, bemused, watching her continue to tidy up her workshop.  
  
She laughed, coolness easing with her amusement. “I am. But I don’t like a mess. I make a mess all day, but after I close, you’d never know.”

After she closed the workshop and they arranged the time for their meeting, they parted ways.

“Wait, Four!” she hollered, a little too loud, since he was still close enough to hear her. “You asked me earlier what my last name was. I told you it wasn’t important, but I’ve been thinking about it, and if you really don’t know, you should before you move forward with any ideas about me as your assistant.”

“Go on,” he said with a smile.

“My last name is Matthews.”

“I see.”

“So Jeanine Matthews is my mother. I’m not proud of it or what she did.”

“I’ve known that for a while, Talia, and I don’t care. If you want to help us we’ll talk after dinner.”

“Ok.” she replied. _I just drop a bomb on you and you could care less. You, Mighty Four, need to be taken down a few pegs_.

He heard her singing as she walked away, and worried about how reluctant he was to see her go.

 


	2. 2

Talia was clean, dressed in all black to fit her mood, and her hair was down as she headed to dinner. Her day had ended on a high note, but just thinking of the day as a whole made her mood drop. If today was any indication of how her night was going to be, she was in for a roller coaster of crap.

Why had Four chosen her? Their paths hadn’t crossed before, unless one counted initiate classes, which Talia didn’t. Four was always with Tris, Christina, and Will. The last time Talia had seen him and Tris together was the last time anyone saw Tris alive. 

Sure Talia had a crush on him, but who didn’t? He had a desirable body, his eyes were hypnotizing, and his voice was smooth and seductive. His attitude had to be taken into account, though.  The combination wasn’t something she wanted to dwell on, much.

Four sat in his apartment, wondering what the hell he was doing. Talia was beautiful and quick, and he was hoping she wanted out of the repair business, since the work was never consistent. Being his assistant would take up a great deal of time with all the plans he had. 

He could see himself working alongside her; hopefully she felt the same. He had seen her watching him with other Dauntless members many times, and it always made him smile. He wanted to share her laughs, her triumphs, help her with problems, be there if she needed to talk. Talia was attractive, but there was something else there that he couldn’t quite grasp. He had to know her, not just her background (he knew that already), but who she really was. What made her tick? 

He had to make an official visit to her shop or have her brought to him soon. He wasn't entirely sure he wanted Christina or Will around when he saw Talia again.  _ Get a grip, Four. You’ve watched her for too long to not go through with this. She’s not Tris, but Tris wasn’t really what you wanted anyway. _ Was he considering Talia personally or professionally? Maybe both? He needed a cold shower.

*******

From the moment she entered the cafeteria, Talia was immediately immersed in her predicted roller coaster of crap. Dauntless members had sectioned themselves off from the double transfers, though the first time initiates were more than welcome to sit with members. She’d sit alone and not finish her dinner. As she was about to sit, however, Will came running up to her. 

“You’re sitting with us tonight.” Will panted, grabbing her elbow. He practically dragged her to a table away from the rest of Dauntless. “Chris and Four should be here soon.”

_Well shit._ _Wonder what kind of mood Four will be in tonight? Snap out of it. He’s cute and he might be your boss soon so just deal._ She shifted her attention to Will, who smelled off at the moment.. Had he been drinking?

“Oh good, you got her to sit with us.” Christina smiled as she grabbed her fork and stabbed the nearest piece of meat. 

“I can go sit somewhere else if you want me to. Will just kinda grabbed me.” Talia didn’t want to leave, though The chance to sit with leadership didn’t come around often.

“No.” Four said as he came up to join them.  Their eyes met and he held her gaze; warmth spread through her body. “You’re sitting with us. Look around and tell me what you see.”

“I see Dauntless members eating dinner and talking. What am I supposed to see?” she answered as she sat down. 

“Look again. There are Dauntless members sitting with Dauntless members, but you see that group over there?” He pointed to another set of tables where a handful of people sat. 

“Those are the double transfers,” Talia said. “They’re not exactly welcomed among the others, but I don't see them that way. To me they are Dauntless members.”

“That’s my point. When you joined Dauntless, you were expected to mold into what we were, correct? Essentially becoming Dauntless. You pass initiation and you're a member, accepted by all.”

“But,” Christina interrupted with a mouthful of beef, “no one really likes the changes that have been made when it comes to double transfers. I mean, we’re grateful, but some people are old fashioned.”

“We’re going to fix that,” Four said. “Choosing Day is tomorrow.” 

“Yes.” Talia agreed. “What do I need to do? I mean, my crew and I are ready with the primary and secondary nets.”

“Four,” Christina sounded curious. “What did you have in mind?”

“I think it’s time we put Dauntless back to the way it was before any of us were in it.”

“What do you mean?” Talia asked.

“Dauntless was known for protection. We guarded the people inside the fence and kept everything else out. Before I joined, you could set your watch by the times when members jumped off the train for class. They'd race in the streets, and frankly they would show off, but it was who they were. We protect this city but as a leader I’ve failed. We’ve lost a lot of what Dauntless was, is, and could be.”

“You’re right. Your idea sounds good to me.” Christina agreed.

“I’ll be wherever you need me.” Talia started to get up, but Christina nudged Will and he grabbed Talia’s arm again. 

“Are you not going to eat?” he asked.

“I hardly do anymore,” Talia answered, shrugging. “I’m not really comfortable with my back facing other people, so I normally sit by a wall, eat a few bites, and then go home.”

“Come over to my place tonight so we can talk about you and what we have planned. Ok? Good. It’s settled,” Christina said before Talia could speak.

*****

_ How am I supposed to talk to Four? Christina wouldn’t even let me tell her about having plans of my own with Four, but then she doesn’t need to know everything. Candors can really piss me off. She was right on one thing, though, it’s really hard for people to leave their old faction behind. So how is this going to work? _ This was the crap Talia had thought would happen, and here it was. 

Talia did want to get to know Will, Four, and Christina, but if Christina kept talking for her she was going to lose it. She knew it was just Christina’s way, and she had heard that Christina was born Candor and they never stopped telling you their opinion. _ I guess if I really want this job with Four I  just have to let Christina be Christina _ . She was just opening her door when she heard him.

“Talia, wait up!”

She turned to see Four running across the bridge. 

“I wanted to talk to you before the others joined in,” he said when he had caught up to her. “As Head of Dauntless and a Dauntless leader, I can shape Dauntless into whatever I want. I want to reshape it into what it was before, what I had always heard it to be. When I was growing up, Dauntless was protection. They were a little reckless, but they protected every faction. Fights were settled by Dauntless members and taken to Candor for justice. I want to know your thoughts; I want you to help me reshape Dauntless. Christina and Will put you in my sights for potential leadership, but I must admit I've been watching you for a few years, even before Tris left.”

“Umm, why?”

“You told me at dinner that you saw Dauntless members separated from the double transfers, but your body language told me that you didn't like the separation. Is that true?”

“Yes,” she said curtly. “How are you supposed to feel accepted in a family if that family wants nothing to do with you? I mean, I know only a few people, and I have really only one person I trust. The real reason that Dauntless members even talk to me is because I can fix their stuff. Other than that, Tori is the only person who talks to me willingly.” 

“I want to fix that.”

“How?” She was skeptical. “I mean, Dauntless is broken. You've got Peter and his group, and then you and Will and Christina have everyone else.”

Four walked up to her and put his hands on her shoulders. “Then help me. Let's go see Will and Christina, and along the way I want to get to know you.”

_ What, there’s something you don’t already know? _ “What do you want to know? I'm pretty sure you already have your own opinion about me, so.” Talia shrugged. It wasn’t like she didn't want to tell him at least her ideas. But how? This was going too fast.

“Sorry.” She turned abruptly, about to go inside but changed her mind. “I need to go work out.” She was running away and she knew it.

“I’ll join you.” He said softly.

“Tobias!” Will shouted from the bridge. Four and Talia turned toward his voice. (See him stumbling or staggering across?)

“Damn, Will, keep moving.” Christina pushed him forward with one hand while supporting him with the other. “If I didn’t love you so damn much I’d watch you fall into the chasm.”

Four looked at Talia and shrugged. That was another thing that Talia never knew;. Four’s birth name. In Dauntless, once you were given a name you tended to stick with it. She was really going to have to know more about Four and his past before Dauntless. Maybe even have her name changed. 

When Will reached the end of the bridge and lurched,he tripped on his own feet and landed in Four’s arms,  turning his face away at the last second. “Sssorry, man.” he slurred.

Four turned his head and grimaced. Talia knew what was going on just from the smell of Will’s breath, but she  laid a gentle hand on Four’s back and leaned forward to get a better look at Will. Four stilled.

_ Oh, this is bold even for you, Talia,  _ she told herself as she realized what she’d just done _. Better hope that was OK,or any thought of working in a leadership position is history. _

_ Oh, shut up,  _ she answered herself. Talia had gotten in a habit of “coaching” herself through difficult situations. Four stilled. 

“Jeez, Will, how much did you drink?” Christina asked. “And where did you get it?”

“S’not much. Uriah.” Will belched, and Talia turned her head. She could smell him from behind Four, so she reclaimed her hand to cover her mouth and nose.

“Ok,” She  sighed. “Everyone inside.” Again, how was she supposed to talk to Four at length with Christina and Will around? But she couldn’t leave Will outside like this, so she opened her door. She and Four dragged Will into the apartment and somehow managed to get him to the bathroom to spray him sober.

“Sorry Will, but I don’t like drunk people. You can be mad at me later.” She turned the cold water on full blast and jumped back. 

The ice cold water hit Will square in the face. “What the fuck! Christina!” he bellowed. Four and Christina both burst into laughter.

“Sorry, Will, it wasn’t Christina. It was me,” Talia said, turning the water off. 

He came out shaking his head. His clothes were soaked and he looked irritated. “Don’t ever do that again.” But he couldn't keep a straight face with Four and Christina laughing. At least the smell of alcohol was less than it was earlier.

“Here.” Talia handed him a towel. “So why are we here instead of at Christina’s place?”

“We saw Four headed this way, so we came here.” Christina said. 

Annoyance replaced by fear, “Anybody else follow you?” She wanted to look outside and make sure everything’s OK.

“Why?” asked Four. Christina just shook her head.

“I don’t live with the rest of Dauntless. Only a handful of people know I live here.  I like to keep to myself, but something happened my first week out of training and just didn’t want people to know where I live so it doesn’t happen again.”

“You were attacked, weren’t you.” Will said, letting his towel drape over his shoulder. “By whom?”

“I’m not sure.” Talia forced a shrug, “But I can tell you how he walks and what he smells like.”

“Interesting,” said Four. “So what did he smell like?” He arms crossed his chest, but Talia could see his clinched fists.

“Musky and sweet. Like he’d been working really hard and had gotten sweaty, but was clean at the same time? He walks really heavy, like he has power or something. He did say, ‘I am part of his plan.’”

Four stiffened, his face reddening with anger, thinking he might have an idea of who. “You didn’t report it?”

“Who would believe me?” 

“We would have investigated,” Christina told her.

Talia just shrugged. “I need a shower. Do y’all mind either leaving or waiting in the other room?”

She moved into her bathroom, she had to think and this was one place she could be alone to do just that.  _ Why did I tell them about my attack?  _

“Other room?” Christina raised her eyebrows. “What’s with the black cloth everywhere? How were you able to get a place over here?”

“I’m working on a few things and didn’t want anything ruined. Just through there.” she pointed to black hole next to her bed ignoring Christina’s other question. “Nothing in there is breakable. Well. maybe the… Nah I can fix it if you break it. Just go in there please and I’ll be out soon.”

Talia walked into her bathroom to take her shower, trying to erase the memories that started creeping back into her mind. She reminded herself of the day that a newly appointed leader gave her this place. She would have to tell the three of them who gave her this one place one day soon and hopefully they wouldn’t be mad.

*******

“While she’s taking her shower, the three of us need to talk.” Said Four. “With the choosing ceremony tomorrow we need to decide if we are accepting doubles transfers. I mean so far, Talia, is really the only one who’s worked out.”

“There have been a few others and they either follow Talia, for whatever reason, or they stay out of the way. They do the jobs they are assigned and we have no problems.” Will said tiredly. 

“You would have been proud, Four. She bested Peter during training. Not sure if he’s ever forgiven her for that.” Will said.

“You’re kidding.” Four was shocked. Dauntless leaders would train the initiates but never got in a match with them. “Why did he choose to fight her? Or was it a throwing contest?” 

“It was a match. Nobody could match her in throwing except maybe you. But Peter made some comment about how ‘sloppy-seconds’ would never make it in his faction.” Christina rolled her eyes.

“Sloppy seconds?” Four raised his eyebrows. 

“A double transfer.” Will answered. He was finally sobering. “He told her as she was approaching the mat that the last person he had to fight was a “stiff” who looked like her. We guess he meant Tris.”

“And she won?”

“In five minutes.” Christina chuckled. “Before she actually knocked him out she called him Candor Trash and then kicked him in the face. Then she spit in his face for good measure. It was beautiful. We had to dock her a point for the spitting but I knew she was dauntless through and through. I really do regret being in the same faction as he was.”

“Why didn’t you two try and talk to her?” Four wondered out loud.

“I tried.” Admitted Will, “But I didn't want to show any favoritism.”

“I wanted to as well, but rumors about trainers and initiates were really circulation.” Christina choked. “She does resemble Tris in some ways.”

They never heard the water stop or Talia moving around. Talia had heard the retelling of her fight with Peter, and the fact they wanted to talk to her. What she did to Peter still gave her chills and pissed her off. 

“She walked over to another transfer and whispered something in his ear.” Christina said.

“I told him it’s harvest time, follow my lead.” Everyone turned to see Talia standing in the doorway.

“Yellow?” Will asked.

“My place.” She responded. “I can wear what I want.”

“You’re friend? Would he or she help us?” Four inquired after he caught his breath. Talia had come into the room wearing a yellow t-shirt and black shorts. Her long wet hair hung down slightly in her face and Four was transfixed.

Talia wiped the hair from her face. “He, and I’m not sure. I haven’t seen him since he started working for Peter. Which reminds me. How is it that being first in my class and my application for leadership is just now being looked at? Almost three years later.”

“We never received an application.” Christina paled. “Well, that explains a few things. We’ve never received any applications from anyone. It would seem as if Peter has everything flowing through him. Like he’s Head of Dauntless instead of Four.”

“Talia, you’re now leadership in training under me directly but you also report to Will and Christina,” said Four.

Talia wanted to jump up and down like a little kid but all she said was “Thanks. I’ll do my best.”

Will began to kiss Christina but she moved away. “Not here.” she whispered.

Will stopped and got up to leave. He opened the door in time for all of them to hear a most horrific scream he slammed the door but the scream only got louder. 

“Triage! Help me!” 

“Oh great.” Talia groaned, knowing exactly who was shouting. “I really didn’t want to have to see her tonight.”

“Triage! Help!” There was insistent knocking on the door.

“Rachel,” Talia said, rolling her eyes. “Not exactly a reliable person.”

“Agreed,” voiced Christina and her body tensed. Talia had a small smile on her face like things were finally turning around for her. Four and Will just stared at the two girls watching as some secret message was passing via their eyes. They hoped that Rachel would turn around and think no one was home.

The knocking was now banging. Talia opened the door and Rachel fell into her arms.


	3. 3

 

“Rachel?” The right side of Talia’s shirt was soaked. “Rachel, what’s wrong?”

“Triage, her feet,” said Christina in her ‘I’m a Dauntless Leader,’ tone. 

Talia was shocked, what she and Christina had talked about earlier was happening. The only time Christina would call her Triage was when it was something important, but then again, if any Dauntless knew her real name they never used it. Talia looked at Rachel’s feet and saw the blood. But her feet weren’t really an issue, it was her pants that caught Talia’s attention. 

“I’m so sorry, Triage. I didn’t know where else to go,” Rachel sobbed, going limp to the floor. 

“What just happened?” Four asked again in the most seductive baritone Talia had ever heard.   _ Get a grip Talia.  _

“Meet Rachel the Weasel.” Talia said laying Rachel down on the floor. “She was in the initiate class after mine. And I thought she and I could be friends. I was horribly mistaken. Everything I did, good or bad, was told to someone in leadership. I'm guessing Peter cause you three are here in my place. Which I'll explain how I got here as well in a bit. Rachel used me for her own personal gains and I got a place in Tori's shop. I'm grateful but since I still, to this day don't understand why my leadership application hasn't been seen in three years, I'm assuming Rachel had something to do with it since she was turning in her application as well she told me she'd take it as well.” Talia sat on her bed and took a breath. “I'm going to go with my gut and bet that since Rachel is a great actress and that she's not really passed out but listening to my every word.”

Rachel started to move. Her eyes fluttered open and she slowly started to rise. Rachel’s head moved from side to side the she cried some more. Talia was getting annoyed with all the “tears.” Rachel acted a lot so no one was ever sure what was fact versus what was fiction.

“I woke up in my room to three people standing over me. My pants were ripped.” Rachel started crying again. Talia looked a Christina whose eyes went to the upper part of Rachel’s pants. It was fully intact. No rips, tears, or a scratch. 

Sheer will power and adrenaline coursed through Talia’s blood, her annoyance evident in Rachel’s ability to keep spin a lie. She picked Rachel up and then hoisted her up over her shoulder like a full bag of potatoes and carried her to the bench. She didn’t want Rachel on her bed. Rachel actually had pissed her off enough in the past with her tricks, bribes, and backstabbing that Talia was seriously having a mental debate on whether to help her or not.

Christina seemed appalled, “I want the truth Rachel. What happened?

“Were you followed?” Talia demanded.

“Yes.”

“Shit,” Talia whispered. 

Will opened the door just enough so that they could hear if anyone was approaching only after Rachel fell in. The laughter they heard was creepy.

“I’ll handle this.” Four turned to walk out the door.

Talia grabbed his elbow. “No.” Looking him straight in the eye and holding him in place, she whispered, “I will handle this. I may not care for her as a person but she came to me, for whatever reason, for help. I will take care of this and then tend to her.”

Looking in each others eyes Talia could see Four trying to figure her out. He raised his eyebrows asking her silently ‘are you sure?’ She pulled her wet hair back in response. Four let her get herself ready.

Talia had been able to keep her back to the wall all while Rachel was performing but to get dressed she would have to show the back of her body.  _ You can do this Talia. If they truly care about  you they won’t give a shit about what you look like.  _ Removing her black shorts she heard Christina gasp even Rachel muttered something, but she wasn’t entirely sure. She turned her head to see exactly what Rachel was wearing so she could match it as best she could. 

“Jesus, Triage. Your legs?” Christina sputtered.

“Yeah. My brother took a flogger and tied rocks to the ends. I think he was trying to make his own cat o’ nine tails. But his failing was my painful reminder that our Mother favored him over me. He failed to make it properly and my mother blamed me for the problem. So my right leg received the cat and my left as you can see was burned with a white hot poker.”

Will whistled, Four blanched, and Christina ran to her and hugged her tightly. 

“Christina, it’s ok.” Talia was calm “Get a good look Rachel?”

Rachel just nodded.

“I’m still here though, probably pisses my Mother off everyday to know that I’m still alive.” Talia laughed as she pulled on a pair of her own ripped jeans and grabbed a few knifes to hid in her pants. Showing her legs was one thing but her back was too much show and tell for one night. Taking the yellow shirt and replacing it with a red one she now matched Rachel completely.

From the back it could be hard to tell her from Rachel. But she wasn’t entirely sure if the people outside would know her face or not. But she stepped out of her apartment barefoot and head bowed. Since her door was encased in a few feet of stone she could listen to the attackers and get a better sense of what and who she was dealing with.

“Come on Rachel,” the voice goaded. “You know you want it. You’ve been begging me for it for days.”

More laughter floated to her. “Will she come out?” said a voice Talia didn’t recognize . But the next voice brought nothing but pure hatred to the forefront.

Talia whispered to herself, “He’s first, then Mother.” She stepped out with her head bowed and slowly walked towards the two voices.

“That’s a good girl.” He laughed. “See boys, I always get what I want.”

“Peter,” she whispered. Before Peter and his friends knew what was happening Talia had thrown one knife into Peter’s chest and another into his leg. She was barefoot but the adrenaline in her system masked the pain she would feel once she calmed down. She ran across the chasm not feeling the metal joints cutting into her feet, jumping a few inches from Peter she kicked him in the jaw. She had the other boy up against the wall with another knife against his throat. 

*****

Four was about to step out when Will grabbed his arm.

“Four,” The screams that erupted from outside made all three of them forget about Rachel and run to Talia’s aid. She didn’t need it, but Christina had watched her do something like this before where Talia had gone deaf to what was around her.

“Well, it looks like she can handle herself.” Four smiled.

“Exactly what I was going to say.” Will agreed.

They could see what was happening and for once not one of them moved.

“Triage!” Four bellowed. “Release him!” All three ran towards Talia.

She held steady, determined to stay the course. Talia had turned off the world around her once more and her rage at this point was uncontrollable. She was either going to kill or lose everything she had worked so hard for. 

“I got this.” Christina winked and left them to go and get Talia to release the boy. Leaving Will and Four to deal with Peter. Four watch as Christina navigated the small ledge where Talia had balanced herself on the balls of her bare feet to keep herself from falling.  _ What grace.   _  He watched Christina walk towards Talia, ever step a bit of a challenge since both Talia and the boy she had pinned were very close to the edge of the chasm. 

“Hey, Talia.” Christina whispered calmly. “I need you to release him.”

“No.” Talia growled through her teeth. “He has to pay for this. I don’t care who he attacked, he has to pay.”

“And he will.” Christina soothed placing her hand on Talia’s back. “Hey, look at me. You’re loved. You have several people who will follow your lead. You have me and Will. Your crew calls you their foundation. And by the looks of things you have Four as well.”

Talia looked at Christina. “I like him,” she mumbled.  _ But his attitude needs work. _

Christina pretended she hadn’t heard and continued, “You are Dauntless, and you’re a good friend. Let him go so he can face any part he played. We can interview him and then take him to Candor for a trial. Besides, Rachel is still in your apartment needing attention and your feet need to be bandaged as well.”

Talia released the boy so that Christina could deal with him. Without a word she walked back to her apartment to attend to Rachel, leaving a trail of blood in her wake. She also needed to see if Rachel was telling the truth or covering for someone.

Her feet hurt but she showed no emotion. A lovely skill she acquired while living in the Erudite compound. But she had to focus. Looking at Rachel’s feet they weren’t as bad as Rachel was letting on a few stitches and she could be back on them within a week. Gathering what she needed; needle, thread, gauze, and the last bit of a local pain killer, she set to work.

Christina, Will and Four walked back in after making sure Peter was sent under heavy guard to medical, and the other was sent to a cage to await charges. They stood around watching her work. She took a small blow torch and sterilized the needle. Four looked at Christina who just shrugged. Took a wet cloth and wiped the blood from Rachel’s feet. The conversation started when she placed the first stitch and after Rachel screamed. It took everything for Talia not to smile. She didn’t like to cause pain but sometimes she wanted to make an exception.

“Why did she come to you and not medical?” Four demanded.

“Medical reports to Peter. I don’t.” Talia replied curtly. “And you’d have to ask her, but most people who don’t like Peter come to me.”

“Which begs the question, Rachel why did you come here since you like Peter.” Christina fumed. Rachel turned her head away. “I was told to.” she whispered.

“Talia, who do you report to? And why is medical reporting to Peter?” Four asked.

“I told you, Dauntless is broken. As for who I report to, that would be Will and Christina. At least they give a shit about this faction. All Peter cares about is power and you sit in your office or room and do nothing. You’re the head of this faction. Do something!” her anger was rolling out of her. She may like Four but now that didn’t matter.

Rachel screamed. "Ouch!”

“Shut up Rachel.” Christina blurted. “Your feet aren’t as bad as you claim. In fact, it looks like Triage is done. You said there were three standing over you. One was Peter who's on his way to medical. The other is now in a cage. Where did the other one go?”

“They hurt,” Rachel whined. Talia rolled her eyes. Christina turned to face the boys. 

“Looks like Peter has been trying to recruit again.” She said.

“Would seem so,” Will replied looking deep in thought. He looked directly at Talia as if to bore into her soul and find her secrets. 

Four was beyond pissed. “When did the three of you decide to start recruiting within the faction?”

Before Will or Christina could explain Talia spoke up. “They didn’t.”

“Excuse me?” Four was still fuming. He was trying to have a private meeting.

“Rachel, go into the alcove and lay down.” Talia ordered. “Put these in your ears, you don’t have to know everything.” Talia handed her some cotton balls and started cleaning up her mess.

“Can’t I stay in here with you?” She was pouting now and annoying just about everyone in the room.

“No!” they all yelled in unison. 

“Actually, I’m taking you back to your dorm.” Talia said. “Climb on my back.” Looking at the leadership she had an idea about what was to happen. “You can have your meeting here if you need to. I'm taking her back now. The balls of her feet are fine, but given how she runs, her stiches would become imbedded in her skin and I don’t need that to come back and bite me in the ass.”

“She can’t walk?” Will asked. Christina just gave him a look.

“She trying to prove herself,” she whispered. “She still doesn’t understand that we’ve already accepted her and that we already know. Honestly, we’re just waiting for her to say something.”

“She’s told me.” Said Four with smile.

Christina’s and Will’s mouths both fell open as he just laughed. Talia had tuned them out long ago.

Lucky for Talia, Rachel didn’t weigh much. Rachel climbed on her back and they started the trek back to the apprentice dorms.

*******

Both Four and Will glared at Christina. “I think you owe us an explanation Christina.” Will demanded.

“Do you like her Four?” Christina asked.

“Yes.” he replied. “So?”

“So, Talia’s life before Dauntless wasn’t easy. She was abused, by her family both in Erudite and a few in Amity. Peter, hates her. Rachel has tried to once again get Talia into some sort of trouble with us…”

Four bolted out of the apartment leaving Will and Christina alone.

*******

Four arrived just in time to see Talia drop Rachel and barely sideswipe a knife to the calf.

“Tell Peter nice try.” Talia laughed at Rachel’s feeble attempt at recruitment. “But I will not follow him.” 

“You are vital to his plan Triage.” Rachel said wincing as she stood on her feet reaching for Talia’s hand . “He wants you by his side.” 

“Will not happen.” she slapped away Rachel’s hand. 

“Peter wants your help to make Dauntless great again.”

Four had found himself a nice hiding spot but he could still see and hear everything. 

“My brother tried to remake Dauntless and he failed. You think Peter could remake it?” she could feel her anger rising again.

“What else would he be doing? You’ve seen how the great Four has handled Dauntless. He sits in his office doing nothing. Peter will be over Dauntless and you and your crew will be needed.”

“No!” Talia shouted. She did an about face and started walking away.

Four was proud. He wanted to show his face to Talia letting her know that he on her side. He wanted to kiss her for her bravery.

“Don’t be a fool Triage!” Rachel yelled.

  
Four was showing his face to Talia when she turned around to throw a knife at Rachel. The blade made contact with Rachel’s thigh and she let out a horrific scream. Another knife embedded into her foot and she screamed again.

“I wouldn’t walk on that if I were you.” Talia snickered. “Tell Peter he needs to leave me alone and if he comes at me again I WILL kill him. If he survives ask him why he’s in medical.” Talia turned on her heel and stomped off. 

“You’ll regret this!”

“Whatever.” Talia shrugged. Four wanted to grab her and kiss her but shoved the feeling down. He couldn’t bring himself to do it  _ I’m not ready yet _ . But he needed to get Talia’s attention.

“Talia.” He called as she walked past him.

“What?” Talia whirled around knife poised ready to fly.

“Easy.” He said with hands raised in surrender. He touched her arm and the last bit of adrenaline left her body.

“I think,” Talia never finished her statement but instead vomited onto the floor around her.

“Don’t leave me,” he whispered as close to her ear as he could while holding her hair out of the way.

“Hmmmm.” was her only reply.

“Let’s get you home.” They began the slow walked back to Talia’s apartment. Four got her to lay down for a good hour or so before he went to get Will and Christina who thankfully were not around at the moment. Only when Four thought she was good and asleep did he leave her to get someone to tell Will and Christina to meet him at the chasm bridge. 

*******

Talia woke on her bed to three fuzzy faces hovering over her. Voices erupted into tangled speech. She couldn’t make it all out, but the smells were beginning to form. But her eyes slowly came into focus. Four, Will, and Christina were all talking at once.

“What the hell happened? Christina asked.  _ Orange and cinnamon. _

“She was incredible.” Smoothed Four.  _ Mint and wind. _

“She dropped Rachel?” Will squeaked.  _ Cinnamon and vanilla. _

“Please tell me I’m in my room.” she mumbled.

“Hey,” Four said sitting by her side. He moved the hair from her face. “Take it easy.”

“Sorry.” was all she could mutter. She sat up in bed putting her face in her hands hoping to mask her fear. She’d thrown knives at a Dauntless leader, held a Dauntless member at knife point against the wall, and then thrown two more knives at Rachel all in the same night. And three of the four Dauntless leaders were in her room. Ugh. 

“What happened?” Christina asked again slower and with more concern.

Talia had to move. She didn’t really like being surrounded and she was getting the feeling like she was being backed into a corner with no exit.

“She was incredible.” Four stated. “She stood tall, aimed perfectly, and then needed help getting home.” He smiled, his eyes never leaving hers. Talia was comforted by his face. 

“Thanks.” she replied. She stood up and wanted to wash her face but it seems as if her legs were not responding or encased in mud. One step and she was lucky Four was there to catch her again. “Well fuck.”

Will and Christina just laughed. “Did you really drop her?” Will inquired again.

“Yeah, I dropped her.” She replied as Four pulled her into his arms she felt heat thru his hands and didn’t want him to leave. His hand slid to the nape of her neck rubbing his thumb gently across her shoulders. He wanted her and he knew it. Talia’s breath hitched but she kissed his neck as he laid her down and sat down next her laying his other hand on her arm and at his calming touch and voice she relaxed. 

“Are you going to share?” Christina asked in a huff. Talia just laughed. “Look, I hated my old faction but it’s still apart of me. I need to know what happened.” 

“Let me guess,” Talia started. “Candor?”

They all laughed. Four’s hand never left her arm and Christina just smiled. It seems that the tension just released out of everyone. Talia moved her arm so that her fingers were touching Four’s. She met his eyes asking if this was ok. He just smiled and hooked his fingers with hers.  _ “Why does he affect me so? Is this real?”  _  Her mind was racing.

“Talia? Did you even hear what I was saying?” Christina asked. “I think someone’s a little distracted.”

“Geez Christina, give me a water drop here.” Talia said gathering her thoughts. “Yes, I dropped Rachel.”

“A water drop?” Christina was stunned. “Your Amity is showing.”

“Better than Erudite.” Talia bit back.

“How could you tell she wasn’t on the level?” Four asked.

“She kept shifting the whole way. Kinda hard to carry someone across a bridge and up several winding floors when they keep moving.” She began. “One time she shifted I heard a small noise and figured it was a setup.” Fours fingers tightened. “Once she stopped moving I waited for an ambush or something but nothing. A few yards away from her dorm she made the slightest movement and that’s when I dropped her. Picture a blade of grass with no wind but when the wind blows it moves ever so slightly.” They all stared blankly at her. “The slightest drop in the water can create a huge ripple.” They all caught that one. “Her subtle movement triggered a reflex and I dropped her. She started talking about Peter’s plans and how I was a vital part. Told her no. And I then I got so mad that I threw a knife into her thigh.”

“The knife in the foot?” Four raised his eyebrow.

“Look in my jacket and you’ll see two pockets, one in each sleeve, for at least two knives. I just took one and threw. But honestly, that was just luck. I don’t really do well throwing at a downward angle. But after that I don’t know.”

Four went on to tell her the rest of what had happened. Her face reddened when he told he she almost released her knife at him. But Will and Christina just smiled. 

“I want you to come with us for the choosing ceremony tomorrow.” Four stated.

“I normally stay at the net so why me?” Talia replied removing her hand from his. She regretted losing his comforting touch.

“Because we trust you.” he replied. It was a safe answer and she knew it.

“Can I sleep for a bit?” she asked with a yawn.

“Get some sleep.” Christina said dragging Will out the door. “We’ll see you in the morning.”

They walked out and Four rose up from the bed. “Umm Four?”

“Yes?”

“I have this vague memory but I’m not sure it was real. Been having weird dreams lately so nothing seems right.” she was babbling. “Did you say something to me?”

He sat back down on her bed with his head bowed. “How do I say this?”

“Just say it.” she replied.

“I asked you to not leave me.” he whispered but at least he looked her directly in the eyes. “And all you said was hmmmm.”

She giggled like a child and he turned away. “Hey.” she pulled his face back to her. “Sorry. I’m not myself right now”

“Don’t apologize. I want you with us tomorrow. Talia,” his index finger trace the line of her jaw. “I want you with me.”

Her body was trembling. She leaned in, “Ok.” she inhaled his smell, mint and wind.

He kissed her softly, “I’ll see you on the train. And just to be clear, I trust you.”

“Hmmm.” 

He chuckled and walked out as her head hit the pillow.

 


	4. Interlude 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Needed to have a minute inside Christina head.

Christina and Will went back home. “I think Talia will be a good fit for Four,” Will spoke up.

“I’m sorry about earlier, Will, I just can’t let Talia or Four get hurt. Talia’s been through way too much crap in her life that she really needs us.”

“Hey, why are you caring so much about Talia?” Will asked.

“I've watched her.” Christina started. Will raised his eyebrows. “Not like that, you idiot,” she laughed.

“Guy can dream right?” Will took off his jacket and threw it in a corner and gave Christina a quick kiss.

“The night that Club D opened, Tris and I talked about her. Tris was drunk.” Christina smiled as the memory came back. “She was much easier to talk to and freer with her words with a little liquid courage in her. One of the few times Tris was relaxed around me, the next morning was not as pleasant as our night had been.  She told me that Talia was a rare Dauntless and it would either kill her or people would fall in love with her. It took me a while to figure out what she was talking about but I think I've finally figured it out.”

“What do you mean?”

“She’s the type of Dauntless that has the ability to adapt to what’s going on around her, but at the same time we need to make sure that she’s taken care of. We, you, me and Four, have failed in that. Her dealings with Rachel or her attack should have been prevented. When Tris died, we,--you, me, and Four, saw leading Dauntless as a chore. But we’ve all seen how Talia kept herself and her crew running back when we were initiates. Yes, as leaders, we added the apprenticeship program since the double transfer resolution, but Tris was the one wanted Talia to succeed. For the last three years,  I just went along with what Tris wanted, but now I want to finish what she started.”

“And that is?” Will asked.

“Tris wanted Talia in leadership. Talia is a leader, you’ve seen it right?”

“I have, but--”

“--Who gave her the name ‘Triage?’” Christina interrupted, as she pulled off her jacket and threw it in the same corner.

“Tori.” Will said, “But if I remember I was with her at the net when Talia landed. Talia was the one who saw the net fraying and, without hesitation, she jumped in and fixed it. After that, she that she became Tori's apprentice and fixed most of the tattoo needles. And then Tori gave her to Mac.”

“So she’s been handed around from faction to faction since she can remember, and now Dauntless has been passing her around too. We messed up. We’ve been so consumed with finding Jeanine that we forgot who we have to help us. Not just Talia, but all our members.”

Christina stepped out of her shoes.  “Talia really needs a new name. And with all the crap in her life we need to talk to Four about calling her Phoenix. I think that name is a better fit.”

“I agree about the name change, and I’m finished talking about another woman and Dauntless and leadership” Will said, his hands sliding down Christina’s back taking her shirt and bra off. “Let me love you.”

“Then stop talking.”


	5. 5

Four shut the door behind him when he turned and wanted to walk back in. Instead, he placed his forehead on the door when he heard the water running but it didn’t run long, Talia was talking herself.

“Did that really just happen? Did I just kiss him or did he kiss me?”

He responded to her question hoping she didn’t hear his muttering, “I kissed you. I want you.”

He pushed off the door and walked home. His thoughts were on the kiss, and he already wanted to go back to Talia to finish what they’d started. He detoured to Wall of Flames--a memorial of sorts for any Dauntless member who died a heroic death has had their names etched into the stone. He found Tris’ name. 

Tris Prior

Dauntless Hero

Transfer: Abnegation

First Jumper

Divergent

Pressing his hand into her etching, he began to mourn. “I’m sorry, but I’ve got to move on. ”

“She’d be ok with it.” said Christina.

“Where's Will?” He wiped his eyes and turned to face her.

“Asleep,” she answered. “Tris would be more understanding than you think. Sure she’d be pissed, but you know it was her choice. She chose to leave. Damn it, Four! It's been three years I should be over this!” Four just held his arms out and Christina walked into his arms. They hugged until she sniffed, “I lost my closest friend that day. I lost her the day she left.”

Four kissed the top of Christina’s head with brotherly affection. “You knew her best. Would she be ok with Talia?” he asked, unsure.

“What girl wouldn’t love to be with the mighty Four?” she joked, wiping her tears. “You and Tris were a happy coincidence. You’ve been watching Talia ever since she showed up.”

He scratched the back of his neck,  “I like her.” 

“It's more than that, and you know it. Even Tris noticed you watching her.” 

“She what?” 

Four took a few steps back breaking his hugs with Christina.

“Four, she wasn’t stupid,” Christina replied. “She knew long before she left that you had eyes for Talia. That’s why she trained her and not anyone else. She wanted to make sure that Talia was ready for anything, including you. She didn’t go and leave out of anger or jealousy. She went off to save all our asses because Talia’s mother is a bitch.”

_ Talia’s beautiful, strong, positive. Tris trained her? That’s a little funny since Tris needed help with her aim.  _

“Am I doing the right thing? Yes, I’ve had eyes, as you say, for Talia but do you think Tris would be upset, if she were alive?” 

“Honestly Four, Tris liked you a lot,” she shrugged. “But I’m not sure she loved you. Talia, I’m not sure about. We all loved Tris but she never really opened up to us. Talia’s trying to tell you, tell us, things and something or someone seems to always interrupt. Next time you’re with her, alone, talk to her. If anything happens just go with it.” 

Four liked that Christina never failed to speak her mind. “Yeah,” he said. “I’m not exactly the type to open up either.”

“I’ll bet Talia can get you talking,” she teased, “considering it’s you.”

“Thanks, Chris.” he’d never called her that before, and she visibly brightened. “Oh and Chris, the next time I have a free moment let me have a free moment. I mean go have a little fun with Will or something.”

“You bet.” She started to walk away, but paused long enough to say,  “Oh Four? If you really want to know Talia, bring her a bacon sandwich in the morning. And talk to Tori.”

“Right.” he responded with a grateful smile. He turned back to the etching.

“By the way,” Christine added. 

“Yes?” He wasn’t sure what else she needed to say.

“You’re abnegation is showing.” Christina laughed as she walked away. Four smiled.  _ Damn Candor. _

*******

“Did that really just happen? Did I just kiss him or did her kiss me?”  She turned the water off quickly and went to the door wanting to call Four back.  _ He couldn’t be too far away.  _ But the fear that she was reading too his kiss made her stop instead she leaned her back against the door. She touched her lips and felt heat rising her face. She could smell, mint and wind. “Oh god.” Her mind raced, how did that just happen?  _ My dreams _ . She had never shown any emotion to anyone. Even growing up in Amity she wasn't one to just laugh or start singing at random points in a day. She had before but it wasn’t the first thing she did when she got happy. She liked the peace and quiet of her room or the chaos of her shop. But knowing that the lingering smell of mint and wind came from Four threw her into a twirl. Could Four really be interested in her? Damn, he was attractive. His dark brown eyes were hypnotizing, his dark hair was short but she had seen closely shaved as well. His voice was seductive as hell without meaning to be, and his lips. Oh god his lips could melt away any barriers faster than she could put them in place. But who was he? It's not like he talked to her or anyone but Will and Christina. She'd have to change that. 

She fell asleep almost instantly with mint and wind in her nose. Her dreams that night were filled with Four. His touch, his lips, his voice. 

“ _ Don’t leave me _ ,” he said. 

“ _ Hmmmm, _ ” was her reply. 

“ _ Talia, you need to wake up _ .” he said. “ _ You’re dreaming _ .” 

“ _ Kiss me again.”  _ she pleaded. 

“TRIAGE!” he shouted. 

She bolted upright knife in hand. 

Her eyes were big as if she had just given away her biggest secret. “Will?” She rubbed her eyes making sure she wasn't still dreaming. “What are you doing here?”

He just smiled. “Time to move.”

“Right.” She place the knife down and rubbed her face erasing the last bits of sleep. “How much time do I have?”

“Half an hour,” He remarked looking at his watch. “Get up and get moving.”

He had laid her clothes out already. Black and blue. Her favorite colors but not Dauntless colors. Pride rose in her core,  _ this could be an interesting choice _ . Blue was associated with Erudite, their belief was that blue was for intellectuals and produced order and trust.  Faction before blood, the model of every faction,  but she still loved the color blue, it reminded her of tranquility and water. 

“No red?” She asked. “Didn’t think you guys would want me in blue. And how the hell did you get in?”  _ Why did Will go through my clothes to find a blue shirt?   _

“You can wear whatever you want. I used the key outside. Need to find a better hiding spot for it, but and I wanted to pay you back for the sobering shower.” 

“Let me get ready then.” she mentally kicked herself for not locking her door. She was so busy thinking about Four that her biggest defense was neglected.  _ I guess he found my key and locked the door. Need to tell him where to put it next time. _

She dressed in a flash. Will handed her a bacon sandwich for the short jog to the train.  

“Ever been to the choosing ceremony?” he asked as he handed her a bacon sandwich. they jogged to meet the rest of the group. 

“Only when I chose Dauntless. I wasn’t allowed to choose when I was sixteen. I was brought back to Erudite the night before. But that’s not important. Me and my crew, as you call them, man the nets.”

“Talia,” he stopped jogging. “We want your help.”

“Ok.”  Her walls went back up. She was not about to be bullied or humiliated into doing something she didn’t want to do. That had already happened a few times in the past.

They arrived at the train, which was just sitting there. It should have been moving. They had two hours to be at the Hub, but if the train wasn't moving then it would be a long jog. 

The Hub was the central part of the city. Kids went to school there until they turned sixteen and as long as you weren’t Erudite if you didn’t have to be there you stayed away. Erudite's had a way of making people feel very uneasy and inferior.

Christina and Four looked to be in a heated discussion. They stopped talking when they saw Talia and Will walking toward them. 

“We don't have a driver.” Christina huffed. “He's asleep in the cab.” 

“I'll drive.” Talia said. 

“You can drive this?” Four pointed to the train. 

“Yeah.” She replied. “There were times I would run away from Erudite and to occupy my mind. I learned from one of the factionless how to drive the train but inevitably Erudite members would always find me.” She just shrugged. “Have everyone load up. I'll drive fast enough for everyone to jump off and stop the train a few stops later and run back to catch up.”

“I knew I liked you.” Said Christina as she gave her a hug. “Ok people load up! You have choices to make.”

Talia watched as the those who were making choices board the train. Only two climbed in by themselves while others climbed in with their families just before Talia boarded in she heard a familiar voice. 

“Talia! Wait.” It was Trevor. 

“Trevor? How did you get away from Peter?” her concern was noticed but no one mentioned it.

“He’s in the hospital. I should thank you for that, but I told him I quit after I found your leadership application on his desk. When I looked at the date I got pissed. He’s been holding it for three years.”

“You what?” she smiled. “You told Peter you quit? That’s never been done before has it?”

Four was blunt, “Most people accept their assignments but I’ve never heard of someone quitting. If they did, the old leadership would make them factionless.” 

“But you found my application?” 

“Yes.” Trevor replied.

She wanted to hug him, she did. “I owe you big time.” She said.

“Talia, what are you doing?” she released him. 

“That's was weird Talia, I’m not going to lie.” Trevor said. “What are you doing here?”

“I've got a job to do.” She replied. 

“What job? We have to prepare to receive the jumpers.” Trevor was ringing his hands, a trait that Talia recognized as panic.

“You’ve seen me set up for years now, so guess what. Take the crew and get ready.” She replied with a grin. “At least this year you can hang out instead of dealing with Peter and all his crap after everyone jumps.”

“Are you sure?” 

Putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder she made him relax. “You’ve got this Trevor. I have complete faith and trust in you. Stand firm.”

“Thanks Talia.” He smiled. Trevor turned and handed Four some papers. “Four, I believe you will want to see these.”

“Thanks,” Four replied, taking the papers and looking at them. A smile was on his face. He winked at Talia. “Trevor, is it? Go get ready. I'm not sure how many we’re bringing back but, you and I will talk later. Ok?”

“You got it.” Trevor replied and ran off to take the lead at the nets. 

“Talia, in you go.” Four helped Talia into the cab. His hands touched her waist and felt a rush. His hands were smooth and relaxed.  _  Focus Talia, you can deal with his hands later  _ Talia looked at the controls, her hands itching to drive the train once again. She knew how this worked and she was prepared to prove she can do anything. She turned the power on and the train came to life under her hands and feet. She turned the power control and the train began to move forward. Looking around to see if the driver was around she frowned when she found her old friend Duncan asleep on the floor, frowning Talia kicked at his foot hoping it would wake him.

“It’s just a train Talia.” She reprimanded herself. “Just remember what Duncan taught you.”

“You can do this.” Said a husky voice behind her.

“Little busy, Four.” But she had a smiled on her face and a lovely smell in her nose.  _ Damn. Why does he affect me this way? _

“Will told me you had an interesting dream.” Four was chuckling. “Maybe I should have been the one to wake you.” He leaned close to her ear.  “You and I need to talk. I want to get to know you outside of Dauntless.”

“In what way?” With a sigh she relaxed as the train began to roll quickly towards the Hub.

“What the?!” Duncan had finally started waking up. “No one moves my train.” Talia pushed away from Four. 

“Then you should have stayed awake.” Talia said laughing.

“Thanks Talia.” He held his hand up, and Talia helped him to his feet. “Not really sure what happened. One minute I’m waiting for Dauntless, and the next, I’m asleep having a very weird dream and here I am and  you’re driving.”

Talia laughed. “Good thing you knew what you were doing when you taught me how to drive the trains. But did you pass out or something. You know you have to rest and sleeping in the train isn’t good for you.”

“I know, but you know me, my train is warms and the concrete is not. Talia, please don’t let anyone know I fell asleep, your mother would have my head.”

“Of course.” she turned back to the controls. “Wait? My mother? What does she have to do with you driving this train?”

“Nothing that I know of but she pays us to run the trains and vehicles in the city.” he replied.

“Four, I don’t like this. I might just jump and meet you guys there.”

“Hey Talia,” Duncan took  control of the train. “Nice job here.”

“Thanks.” She blushed. “I had a good teacher.” 

Four escorted her out of the cabin and into an empty car. “Talia, we’re fine. Let’s get to the Hub and we can deal with your mother after tonight.”

“Yeah.” But she still felt uneasy.

“We don’t have much time, but I want to hear about your dream.” He said. “Will said it was interesting.”

“It wasn’t much but,” She was suddenly embarrassed. “I need to move. I don’t do well standing still.” Her fingers began moving along the inside seam of her jacket sleeve. The cool of the knife handle calmed her just enough. She wanted to pace, but  Four’s hand cupped her face. Her eyes focused on his. “I asked you to kiss me again. Then Will yelled at me.” She was so embarrassed but holding things in when it came to Four was increasingly difficult. 

“Maybe I should have woken you up.” 

“That’s what Will said.” She was completely unprepared for the lust she felt for Four. “I’m sorry Four, I don’t really know what happened last night or what I’m really doing here.”

“I want you to help us pick the double transfers. We’re going to restore Dauntless to it’s former glory.”

“Four, I need you to know something before we start jumping off the train.”

“Go on.” He said looking out the window.

“My brother was Eric Matthews.” 

Four turned to her and smiled. “And you already told me who your mother was, I don’t care. What they did and do is not who you are, and that’s all that matters to me.”

“Wait, what?” Talia asked.  _ We need to have a little chat Mighty Four.  _

“Come on.” He took her hand but was smirking at her face. Shock had been planted on her face. 

Everyone was jumping and running the Hub. Talia felt alive, there was nothing like the rush she got from jumping off the train. It was at least a quarter of a mile to large wooden doors that separated the Hub from the Erudite entrance. Most of Dauntless took the short run at a sprint racing to see who could get there first. Talia jogged as saw large amount of wires bundled together and the fans the moved the air through the city. She had read that her home was called Chicago, aka the Windy City. She saw everyone stopping just before they reached the doors. Dauntless had been stopped by an Erudite man. His starched blue suit reflected the light from the sun. Most of crowd had to avert their eyes. Four made his way to the front to see why no one was entering. 

“Those of you who are choosing may go in and take your seats. I need to speak with your leaders.” His arrogance was appalling.

“Please tell me I’m not that arrogant.” Talia said.

“Mr. Prior, Leader of Erudite, wants to speak with you.” The man said.

“I will take my faction inside and then I’ll speak with Caleb after.” Replied Four. 

Talia walked up to Four and gently touched his arm. He turned and with fury in his eyes. “What!”

“I’ll take everyone in. You go have your meeting.” Talia said.  _ He thinks he has a temper, just wait. _

“No.” He touched her arm and she just shrugged it off. “Talia.”

“Go do your damn job Four.” Talia’s jaw was set. How could she let him in so quick. Why did she let him in so fast?  _ Damn emotions. Get it in check Talia. _

“I will meet with Mr. Prior later. If he has any problems with that he can come to Dauntless headquarters.” Four was livid.

“Very well,” The man sighed. 

Four began to usher the group inside. Talia could see the Erudite scanning the crowd of Dauntless.

“Talia?” The man looked right at her. “As in Talia Matthews?”

“Yes.” Talia responded with hatred.

“Mr. Prior will be most impressed to know that you’re here.” 

“Mr. Prior can go to hell.” Talia growled.  _ Great. One more thing to the list of items to tell Four.  _

*******

Dauntless members and those choosing were seated in their respective section when the Heads of each Faction took the stage. Each one giving a piece of faction history and what it means to be in their faction. Standing next to every leader Four looked so young, but standing next to Caleb who was in fact the youngest of all faction heads. Talia was transfixed. Four had cut her down, but she couldn't help but admire him. His strength and willingness to lead was unmatched. 

“Talia, what happened between you and Four?” Christina whispered. 

“He cut me off. So I shrugged him off.” Talia whispered back.

“Talia, he likes you.” Her voice was calm and matter of fact.

“Funny way of showing it. Don’t kiss me one night and then pretend it didn’t happen in front of others.” Christina’s eye widened, she wasn’t aware of the kiss.

Four joined the rest of the group. While those of age chose their faction, Four looked at Talia. Her face was a mask of stone.

“I’m sorry.” 

“We’ll settle it later.” Her reply was short.

“Understood.” He answered and he walked away. 

The last person made their choice and the ceremony ended, giving Dauntless thirty-eight new initiates.  

Caleb Prior stood up. “Each faction has chosen to accept double transfers. The rules are clear. Those of you who have chosen today must stay with that faction for two years. Those of you here to be with another faction this is your last chance to choose. We have to find ways to live and work together, this is why the double transfer legislation was enacted. Just because you choose a faction doesn't mean you will be accepted. Each transfer will stand before the faction heads and you will ask to be allowed in. The faction heads will be allowed to confire with their leaders for two minutes then you must make a decision. Those are the rules. Let us begin.”

Talia started getting nervous. This was why she was here. Because she was in both Amity and Erudite her knowledge would be valuable. But could she do it? She could betray Dauntless or keep them safe. Her choice was easy but the fact she even considered betraying Dauntless made her shiver. 

“Breathe Talia,” Will said noticing her tense. 

“You will take the stage next to Four and he will look to you for guidance.” Christina said. “You can do this.” She gave Talia an unexpected hug. “Later you can kick his ass or kiss him.”

Tears started falling. “Thanks.” Talia sniffed. Her steps slow and steady turning to look at Christina who only smiled, nodded, and winked. Talia held her head high the rest of the way.

Talia took her place by Four. Looking at him made her heart beat rapidly. He was her Faction Head someone who she owed her allegiance to but it seemed like he could own all of her and she would let him.

_ “Get a grip.You’re here to do a job. You can work on your emotional shit later.” _ She mentally flogged herself for allowing her heart to take control.

“Phillip Zephyil. He is asking to move from Amity to Dauntless.” Caleb reported. “Do you accept this transfer?”

Four looked at Talia who nodded her assent. Turning back to the assembly he spoke. “We do.” The whoops, cheers and stomps went on and on until Caleb was visibly irritated.

“I would remind those of you here, that there are others who are asking to transfer factions, keep your applause to a minimum.” he glared at Dauntless. “Next. Beca Deacon of Erudite has asked to be a part of Dauntless.”

Four looked and Talia, who looked at Beca. Talia whispered into his ear, “It’s up to you. I’m not sure how she could help us but I don’t trust her.”

“Forgive me for earlier please.” He asked.

“This is not the time or the place.”

“Make your decision Dauntless.” Caleb demanded.

“Hmpf.” Talia grunted. “He’s pushy today.”

Four glared daggers at Caleb.  _ Nobody tells me what to do you fucking prick.  _ But taking one more look at Talia then Beca he said, “We accept her.”.

When it’s all said and done Dauntless has accepted six boys from Abnegation, two girls and one boy from Amity, three girls and two boys from Erudite, six from the Factionless, and none from Candor. Dauntless only lost one boy to Abnegation, and one girl to Amity. 


	6. 6

The faction members, initiates, and transfers strolled out into the sun. The group was flanked on all sides by Four in the front, Christina on the right, Will on the left, and Talia bringing up the rear making sure that all the new Dauntless members were accounted for.

“My name is Four. I am Head of Dauntless. To your right is Christina, and to your left is Will. Behind you is Triage.” Faces turned to see her, her face a mask of stone in the blinding sunlight. but inside she was terrified. She knew that once on the train the worst part of being on the train with the initiates was the jump from the train to the roof.

“You chose us. Your first test is now.” Four started running while the rest of Dauntless followed. The Dauntless-born began hollering and whooping as they ran. The rest ran in silence. The train horn sounded. Four sprinted to the front to open the doors. As the doors opened, Dauntless-borns started jumping in. Everyone else followed suit. The last to board was Talia. As she brought up the rear, she jumped and landed on the Erudite transfer Beca.

“Excuse me.” Talia said.

“Traitor.” Beca responded. 

Brushing off her legs, Talia glared at her and then to Beca’s shock she just smiled. Spotting Christina in the front car Talia looked at Beca, “Welcome to Dauntless.” She left to join Christina. The train rumbled down the tracks and break neck speeds only slowing at turns. The ride never seemed to last long, even when it was a thirty minute train ride.

“Get ready!” Will yelled.

Christina grabbed Talia’s hand “You ok?”

“Perfect.” Talia sighed with a roll of her eyes.

“You ready to jump?”

“I hate this part, but yeah I’m ready. On three?”

“Why wait, we’re only seven stories above the ground.” Christina opened the door and the two of them, hand in hand, jumped off the train and onto the roof of Dauntless Headquarters. 

Talia landed on her feet and ran a few more feet before whooping herself. That rush was an exhilarating feeling. She met Four at the ledge. Christina was making sure that those who stumbled had help recovering. 

“Stay with me?” he asked in a whisper.

“In what capacity?” she snapped back.

“Big word for Dauntless.” He snickers. “In all ways and in all capacities.”

“Yes, but we still need to settle things from earlier.” she replied. “I’ll meet you at the bottom?”

“Your crew is down there right?”

“Yes, but as you saw Trevor is shaky.”

“Then go.” Four said dejected.

“Four, you know who my family is so it’s probably for the best that I do my job and you do yours.” Talia spoke as she climbed the ledge.

“I trust you.” To the wonder of the group that was gathering Four pushed Talia off the ledge. 

She was falling. Arms and legs were up putting her into a jackknifed position. But she put in her own flare and did a few flips before landing on her back in the net. The free fall was enough to get more of your adrenaline pumping. But hitting the net brought her back to reality and one her second rebound she was mentally ready for the jumpers.

“Secondary net ready?” she questioned those around her as she climbed off the net.

“Yes” they all said in unison.

“Are we ready for jumpers?” 

“You bet.” Trevor replied. As if on cue they all whooped and waited for the first jumper.

*******

On the roof top Four and Christina watched as Talia did a jack-knife and then a few flips before landing in the net. “Ready to play our game Christina?”  _ I hope this works. _

“What the hell Four?!” She yelled.

“We needed her at the bottom.”

“Doesn't mean you have to push her.”

Will came skidding to a halt in front of Four and Christina. “What happened?” He was breathless. 

“Mighty Four just shoved Triage over the ledge.”

“You better have a damn good reason for that.” Will's face was turning red and his fists were clenched.

“I didn’t want people to see my feelings. I have to be a leader.” He whispered. “Well played Christina. Think people bought it?”

“We’ll find out.” Christina turned to Will. “Four has always favored Talia and you know it. We wanted the initiates and transfers to see that Four is head and we follow his lead.”

“I know the game Chris.” Will said flatly. “Just wish I had been included.”

“I don't trust those from Erudite. But Talia said they could be useful.” Four hinted. “But one she didn’t even want and I think that’s the one who could lead us to Jeanine. We need to be cautious.”

“Yep.” Will’s heart was slowing to a regular beat when the transfers and new initiates arrived. 

“Welcome to Dauntless Headquarters.” Four began. “Families of initiates, you know the rules.” He waited until all the family members left the roof. They didn’t jump but instead one opened a roof hatch and lead everyone down.

“Very good. We are Dauntless. We believe in Freedom from fear, in ordinary acts of Bravery, in defending those who can’t Defend themselves. Again, my name is Four. I’m head of Dauntless and I will also be one of four Dauntless leaders that you will report to. There are two ways off this roof. One; you jump and once you’re changed we train you Dauntless style. Two; you exit through that door over there and you become factionless. Just a reminder, those of you who are sixteen and making your first choices will be factionless for a least two years. If you ask to become Dauntless again I get to chose if I will really want you back. Those of you who are a double transfer, you walk through that door and you can either go back to your faction or be factionless for the rest of your life. So who’s first?”

No one moved. “Is there a net at the bottom or maybe a pool? Someone asked.

Will and Christina just laughed. “You’ll see when you jump.” Christina remarked. 

Will looked at her and in his best imitation of her she whispered, “Your Candor is showing.”

“Ha ha ha.” But she was laughing.

Four was walking around sizing up his newest initiates and transfers. “I guess I have to pick.” He walked around and seeing the one girl that Talia was reluctant to give consent to. “You.” He points. “You will be first.”

She steps forward and boldly says, “You coming with me?” 

“What’s your name?” He asks.

“Beca.” She replies in a sultry voice. Four just rolls his eyes. Seeing what Beca is doing makes him irritable.  _ I’m going to need to hit something or stare at a security monitor for hours just to forget her. _

“You have three choices Beca.” He starts.

“Jump.” Interjects Christina

“Pushed.” Shrugs Will like it was no big deal.

“Or walk down the stairs and be factionless.” Four whispers. “And more than likely I will not take you back.”

“Make your choice Beca.” Will says matter of factly. Christina had walked to stand near Will and Four.

Beca climbs on the ledge and looks down to see a large gaping hole in the middle of what used be a brick road. Her Erudite blue jacket clung to her skin, revealing everything she could offer to a man. Her blue pants and white shirt left nothing to the imagination. She turned around and looked a the rest of the crowd. “I’d feel better if he,” She points at Four. “If he would jump with me.”

“He’s taken.” Christina remarks and pushes Beca over the edge.

******

“Here we go people.” Talia instructs. They all could hear the scream that escaped the first jumpers mouth. Talia watched as the first jumper hit the net with such force that the rebound took her too high. On the second bounce Talia was the first to see that her foot was caught in the net and she was smart enough to untangle it. Talia and Trevor brought the net forward and offered to help the first jumper out of the net.

“I don’t need your help, Traitor.” She said. Talia stood still gripping the net with her knuckles turning white.  _ You’re going to regret choosing my faction Beca.  _ The crowd growing silent quickly.

“Very well.” Talia said.

One by one the initiates and transfers jumped in the net. Each one took the help of getting out of the net. Will, Christina and Four were the last one to jump. Beca was still in the net refusing to get out. But upon seeing Four she made every effort to attract his attention. Talia was annoyed with Beca’s blatant flirtation.  _ “Looks like Rachel is in for some competition. I can’t let it show how I feel about Four, I’m not in a relationship with him. Hell, he can have whoever he chooses. But I do find him attractive.” _ She thought. 

“I need help.” Beca whined. 

Four looked at Talia, who shrugged in studied nonchalance. “I offered, but she refused.” She turned to her team. “Trevor, Wylie, Silas, take down the secondary net and make sure it’s secure.” They jumped up to follow orders, heading to opposite sides of the net.

With an glint of understanding in his eyes, Four ordered, “Triage, I think Beca here needs to be helped off the net.” 

Talia had to work hard not to smile.  “Yes, sir.”

She stepped off, swinging from one rope section to another until she was a few feet away from Beca back. Giving Beca one final chance, she held out her hand, but Beca refused to take it.

“Beca, you have to remove yourself from the net or Triage forces you off.” Four demanded.His annoyance at Beca’s flirting attempts and her shenanigans was clear.  

Talia waited patiently, swinging back and forth.

“Come one, Triage,” Christina yelled, “The Erudite needs help.”

“Whoop.” cried Trevor.

“Yeah.” Cried Silas.

Talia’s hands were beginning to chafe from the ropes. But she didn’t stop, even when Beca sat down in defiance. 

“I can remove myself, I don’t need a traitor to help,” Beca insisted.

“Traitor?” Four asked, with cold fury. “We have no traitors in Dauntless. Triage, faster!”

“Yes, sir” she huffed, swinging faster now. She was starting to smile  _ This is going to be epic. _ Her feet could touch the net but she need a little more lift to bump Beca off the net. Her body’s momentum was carrying her into contact with Beca’s butt. One swift kick and she’d be off the net.  _ One more. _ And “CONTACT!” She yelled. 

Talia’s feet made contact with Beca’s ass and she went flying over the side of the net into the crowd who’d gathered to watch the confrontation. Talia slowed to a stop, when she worked her way back to the ledge, where she took the first hand that was offered to her and winced at the pressure of the rope burns. Trevor had pulled her up and offered to clean her hands. “Nice job.” he said pulling her close under the impression of looking at her hands. 

The cheers and and back slaps made her spirit soar. This was really the first time she felt apart of Dauntless. Four’s face was bright and proud. She just smiled at him, her anger forgotten. 

Christina stepped in and blocked her vision. “Get your hands patched, I’m taking the newbies on a tour.”

“Ok.” She wanted to cheer as her adrenaline was in overdrive. Trevor grabbed a wet cloth and bandaged her hands. Carefully wrapping them so that she could still feel her fingers but that her palms would be protected from anymore injury.

“Nice jobs, good ones, and Damn” were heard from everyone. Even some of those initiates and transfers were impressed. When her hands were bandaged, Talia walked to Beca.

“Welcome to Dauntless.” Talia remarked.

“Hmph.” Beca choked. “You’ll regret making me look like a fool, Talia Matthews.”

The room grew quiet. There were only a handful of people who knew Talia’s real name and even less who knew her last name. But with Beca’s pronouncement, now it was for everyone to know. 

If any member of Dauntless cared about Talia’s last name no one bothered to show it. The shock would pass and they would probably start the questions later.

“Well, fuck.” Talia sighed.

“I suggest that the next time you are offered help you take it.” Four growled. Looking at Talia he linked his forefinger in with her’s. “I expect a report on why Beca was the first to jump but last to hit the ground. I want to know who showed up after her and they will be considered first jumper.”

Four let go of her finger and turned to face the crowd. “Dauntless born you will be with Will. Transfers with Christina.” Turning back to Talia, “Triage, Trevor, Silas and Wylie, report to my office now. Everyone else back to your lives.”

The crowd dispersed. Talia had sent her crew away and was checking the net for any visible damage, when  Four touched her arm. “I actually want you in the initiate dorm before you give me your report.”

“Why?” Talia asked. “I still have things here that need to be finished.”

“You’re a leader in training, so you need to be there.” 

“Is that an order?” 

“Yes.” he replied. “Forgive me?”

“Yes. It’s difficult to stay mad at you after what just happened. ” She sighed. “Can we talk later?”

“Yes. But you need to be in the dorm soon.” 

“And I want cake, conversation, and a nap.” She snapped. Grrr.  _ His mood swings! _

“That can be arranged.” He laughed. 

“I'll head there now.” And she turned to him standing there, but stopped short. “Four, what will happen with Beca?”

Four shrugged, “I’ll decide that later.”

“Don’t forget that Caleb will be here at some point. ”  Talia said and jogged away.

*******

Talia had come in the back entrance to hear Christina saying, “This is where you will live while you’re initiates.”

“Boys or girls?” A Candor boy named Bryson asked. Christina just laughed.

“Both.” Talia interrupted.

“Who asked you, Traitor?” Beca blasted. Talia looked up to see Will, Four, and the Dauntless borns walk into the room. “We have leaders to listen to, we don’t need you giving us direction.”

“Well, as leader-in-training I was ordered to be here. And since it seems as you won’t listen to your leaders either, we might have a bit of a problem.”

“Well, this just got interesting.” Will mused.

“Then since you’re still in training let the actual leaders do the talking.” Beca snapped back.

“Screw Challenge day, I want my challenge now.” Talia soft enough but with enough bite that Christina took a step back. She looked at Four for permission. He nodded. Talia moved quickly and grabbed Beca by the back of her blue Erudite suit, her hands aching and the bandages itching. The Dauntless-born initiates made room on the stairs for Talia. Beca was thrashing around but Talia didn’t let go. She practically dragged Beca to the pit. The center of everything Dauntless was in the lowest part of the compound and the center of life for members. Shops were all around the pit so that if someone needed things they could be accessed easily. Initiates were housed in a single room two flights of stairs and a hundred yards away.

“Build it!” Someone yelled. People scurried around like bees building a ring. It was built in time for Talia to slide Beca across to the other side.

“Take your jacket off. You’re in Dauntless now.” Her voice was husky.

“You first.” Beca bit back.

Talia removed her jacket. Her blue shirt was tight against her skin revealing every curve on her body. Normally she wouldn’t have removed her jacket but rage was driving her. Beca took her jacket off and her skin tight white shirt made several guys gawk.

“You’re wearing blue.” Beca was stunned.

“She’s earned it.” Christina shouted back. But one look at Talia and Christina was satisfied. Talia had removed her shirt to reveal her only sports bra. She felt extremely vulnerable with her back exposed. 

“She only has the Erudite eye. Why nothing else?” Four asked seeing Tori walk towards the ring.

“She feels that she needs to earn it. She’s wanting the Amity tree to come out of the ashes on her back that we did the other day but we haven’t been able to get it done.” Tori remarked walking up to see the commotion.

“What are the scars? How did she get them?” Will asked.

“Her family inflicted punishments. As for what was used I don’t know.” Tori replied.

Since fighting or sparring was frowned upon in Erudite, Talia wasn’t sure this was going to be fair.  _ Who cares. _ she thought.  _ I’m done. I am Dauntless. _ But to Talia’s surprise Beca came out swinging. Talia weaved in and out delivering short jabs to Beca’s stomach and swift kicks to her legs. 

After several failed attempt to make contact with Talia’s body, Beca began the taunts.“You’re nothing but a traitor.” she started, as Talia landed a jab to the shoulder. “Why would you think Dauntless would accept you?”

Talia ignored her and kept moving. Her kicks and punches were short but they were making contact. The crowd yelled encouragement to Talia. “Come on Triage” or “You’re doing great” could be heard. 

Then Beca threw out the mother of all taunts.“You will never be as good as your mother or your brother.”

“AAAAHHHHH!” Talia yelled. Her fists made contact with Beca’s jaw. “My.”  _ Pow! And hit to the stomach.  _ “Mother.”  _ a slap in the face.  _ “Was.”  _ a kick to the feet.  _ “A fool.” A roundhouse kick to the face. Beca hit the floor hard. Talia knelt down and grabbed Beca’s hair. Leaning down to whisper in her ear, “My mother and my brother were cowards. My brother died at the hand of a Dauntless Hero and my mother, when we find her, will know who I am as I take her life with my own hands.” Talia let go of Beca’s hair and walked out of the ring parting the crowd of onlookers as she went. 

There were no sounds. The crowd was in awe at what just happened, but then the whispers started. “Triage never holds back.” “She’s not gonna finish the match?” “Well challenge day should be interesting.”

Talia looked directly at Four who beamed. She watched as he held his high as she walked passed grazing his hand with her own. _ Please know I’m not always like this. _ Once she passed the crowd she wanted to run as far away from everyone as she could.

“Triage!” Will yelled. 

Not ever bothering to turn around, Talia yelled back. “I want cake!”

*******

Laughter filled the pit as tears fell down Talia’s cheeks. When she was out of sight of everyone, she tore through the halls to her apartment, but she never made it. She found a small alcove and collapsed the floor. 

There was a knock on the door, then the sound of it opening. “Triage, honey, where are you?” Tori called.  The smell of ink and rubbing alcohol was pungent--and comforting, in its own way.

Talia stuck out her foot so Tori could find her. Part of Talia was grateful that the one person, alive, she trusted was looking for her, but at the same time she wanted to be alone.

“Hey.” Tori got on the floor with her until she felt like talking. 

“I’ve tried so hard.” she sobbed.

“I know. I know.” Tori started shhhing her, like a mother would a baby. 

“God, Tori, why did I let them in?” she pushed herself away from Tori’s embraced. “It took me two years to open up to you and within a few moments the leadership knows who I am, who my mother was, and my temper can flare up at any time. What do I have to do to escape my mother?”

“Talia, what’s really the matter?”

“There’s so much that I need and want to tell you but I’m sure how. The last few days have come at me so fast I can’t process it all. A few days ago I was fixing radios, knives, and dreaming about building a car. Now, I’m a leader in training, finally, and I haven’t had a minute to process what that means.”

“It’s a lot to take on. I’m glad Four is looking at your application after all these years.”

“That’s the thing Tori, he’s never seen my application until Trevor found and gave it to him this morning.” Talia’s tears had run their course. Now it was a matter of calming herself.

“Four brought you into leadership without looking at your application?” Tori was slightly shocked.

“Yes and No.” Talia answered. “Rachel came running to my place last night and Four, Will and Christina were around. They watched me take care of Rachel, but Four was there when I dropped her on her ass because she tried to knife me.”

“I see.” 

“So I was there for the choosing ceremony today to “help” with the double transfers. Four really pissed me off but I got over it when I hit the net. Beca, the girl who’s blood is on my hands, was a transfer from Erudite and she jumped first. She refused to get out of the net. I mean she literally just sat there. Even after Four and them jumped down she was still there.” Talia started laughing.

“What’s so funny?” Tori asked.

Talia laughed. “Tori, she sat there, on the net, not willing to take help in getting off. She whined that I refused to help get her down but Four wasn’t buying it.”

“Then what?” 

“I kicked her of the net. Tori, the rush was beyond anything I’ve ever felt. But there are just things I’m having a hard time hiding.” Talia rubbed her face.

“Like what?” 

“I like him Tori.” she admitted, not only to Tori but to herself. “I like Four. Christina and Will too.”

“Four?”

“Yes Four. Like every other Dauntless female he’s the unattainable and I like him.”

“Have you told him?”

“What, and face the rejection? I’ve had enough rejection in my life to know when to keep my feelings inside.” she said. She hoped the redness in her eyes was fading, she didn’t want people to see her like this.

“He’s been in your dreams hasn’t he? That’s what you wanted to talk to me about.”

Talia nodded. “Just like with you I can smell him before I see him.”

“What do I smell like?”

“Ink and rubbing alcohol.” Talia sniffed.

“ And Four?”

“Mint and wind.” she sighed. 

“Come on. Let’s get you that cake.”

Tori stood and reached for Talia’s hand. “You know what could take your temper away?”

“What?”

“Fixing that car in your shop.” They both just started laughing. 

“Cake would be better.” Talia admitted.

“Talia, you’ve been able to do things within Dauntless that most can’t do.”

“What do you mean?”

“You really are a good friend.” Tori said.

“Thanks.”

“Let get you that cake.” Tori said as the left the alcove and headed to the cafeteria.


	7. Chapter 7

Talia and Tori walked together to the cafeteria but Tori left to go back to work, so Talia went and got her dinner on her own. A chicken leg and her piece of Dauntless cake. She sat to eat but she realized her back was exposed. As she stood she took a deep breath and his smell calmed her almost instantly.

 

 

Four walked into the cafeteria and found Talia instantly. She stood abruptly.

“You forgot these.” Four said.

“Thanks.” She reached for her clothes and began pulling her shirt over her head. “I’ll be finished here in a minute.”

“I want to hear how you got your scars.” He completely ignored her statement. “Your story too.”

His smile was comforting but she was still unnerved. “It doesn’t matter. I’m going home.”

He touched her chin. “It matters to me.”

“This might not be the best time for this Four.” Her anger was threatening again. “Too much has happened in the last couple days, I need to be alone.” She started to take a step but turned back to face him. “You said you trusted me.” The hurt in her eyes cut him deep.

“I still do.” He replied tracing her jaw with his fingers. “I still want to know you.”

Talia’s heart skipped a beat. _He can’t be serious?_

“Please.” He begged as Christina and Will sat down. She moved closer and with a slight brush of her lips on his cheek she whispered in his ear. “Bring cake.”

Talia walked a little taller as Christina noted. “I think it’s been awhile since Talia has stood that tall.”

“I think the last time was when she won capture the flag.” Will commented smugly.

“Shut up.” Christina pouted as she elbowed him. Four sat down to his own dinner while his two best friends bantered on.

 

 

The cafeteria emptied quickly when they heard the terrifying scream. Every person in earshot was up and running towards the chasm. Four and Christina arrived to see Talia hanging off the bridge with water splashing on her back. Beca was standing over her with a serrated knife in her hand.

“You’re a traitor!” Beca screamed. Her body was black and blue form the beating Talia had given her earlier that day. The pain in Talia’s hands was minute compared to the stabbing pain in her back. Her shirt was ripped and she could see that her back was bloody. Talia could barely hear the thunder of footsteps coming towards them, but she felt vibrations and wasn’t sure if they were from the water below, the trembling in her arms, or footsteps.

“I’m going to be the one to make your mother proud.” Becca sneered. “You have brought nothing to her but disappointment.”

Talia took a chance and looked into Beca’s bruised and bloody face, her eyes were glassy, even when she blinked they never changed. Out of the corner of her eye she saw the crowd forming. “She’s simmed!” she yelled over the roar.

“Grab her!” bellowed Four.

Will and Four grabbed Beca and began to wrestle the knife from her hand. Christina went to help Talia. It took several more Dauntless to help Will and Four subdue Beca and remove her from the bridge. With Christina’s, Trevor’s, and Silas’s help Talia hoisted herself back onto the bridge. She tried standing but just collapsed crying into Christina’s arms. No noise escaped her lips.

“Take the initiate to medical and tie her ass down till I get ready to talk to her.” Four roared. Several Dauntless men grabbed Beca and carried her to medical with Four and Will following behind sending the rest of the crowd away. Trevor and Silas stayed behind to help.

She was rung out, but managed, “I’m taking myself home.”

“Like hell you will.” Christina ordered. “I’m not leaving you till Will and Four get back, and there’s too many people around.” Talia took the hint that Christina was trying to keep her safe and her apartment private from the rest of Dauntless.

“We can help and block the door till they show up.” Trevor said pointing to himself and Silas. “We’re in her crew.”

“Fine.” Christina said rolling her eyes. The three pulled her upright, waited for the crowd to clear, and led her home and Christina wasted no time questioning Talia what happened.

“How did you know she was simmed?” she started. “What the fuck? She tried cutting your tattoo off.”

“Not here Chris. Please.” Talia begged. As they were walking into the apartment Will and Four showed up with Caleb in tow.

“What’s he doing here?” Christina asked with venom.

“We have a meeting.” Caleb replied smugly.

“Good then you can answer some questions.” Christina was livid. Trevor and Silas gave Talia to Will and Four and left the apartment.

“Ouch.” But looking at Four she whispered. “Did you bring cake?”

Four just laughed. “I’ll get you some.” He kissed her temple.

“I’m tired.” She said. Four and Will laid her on her bed. Caleb looked at the tattoo on her back and smiled. Once things were settled Caleb opened his mouth.

“Looks like you were attacked.” he said flatly.

“No shit.” Talia retorted.

“Have you told them?” He asked sitting on her bed close to her head.

“Told us what?” Will asked.

“About her past.” Caleb replied.

“She hasn’t had the opportunity. That’s why we were all coming over here when she was attacked.” Christina retorted.

“Oh good. Then I’ll let her talk and I will fill in the blanks.” Caleb added.

“You may be the Head of Erudite and a guest but you can stand or sit on the floor. You have no right to sit on my bed. Four, Christina, and Will can sit wherever.” Talia blurted. “And don’t be an ass Caleb, they know who my mother is and my brother for that matter.” Caleb just smiled. “So help me Caleb, lose the ‘I’m smarter than you” smile before I punch it off. I’m in pain and hurt but not dead.”

Caleb’s face became rigid and Talia noted his fist clench. She knew he wasn’t used to being told what to do. Talia started to get off her bed. Four bent down to help. “So yeah, my mother was, is” she corrected, “Jeanine Matthews and my brother was Eric. Before Tris left, Erudite and Dauntless leaders fitted everyone with a tracking device. Eric was told to tell Dauntless that they would only be activated in case they were lost outside the fence or something.”

“When were you fitted with the tracker in relationship to becoming Dauntless.” Will asked.

“Before.” Talia said wincing. “Like everyone else I believed that they were for safety only. I didn’t know what my mother was actually planning.” Talia was pacing now her pain forgotten. “This isn’t exactly how I planned to tell y’all this.” She took a breath. “After the double faction resolution and my mother’s treachery, with Abnegation, I chose Dauntless. I wasn’t told where to go I made the choice. But I wanted the damn tracker out. First night here I went looking for help.”

“I remember.” Four replied calmly. He pulled her into his arms. “Without knowing who I was you asked where medical was.”

“Yeah.” She inhaled his scent. She wanted this.To stay in his arms and not move. Why did so many people have to be here?

“Aww, your first encounter with Four.” Caleb drawled sarcastically. “I wonder what my sister would say, if she were alive, seeing you two.”

“There would be nothing to say Caleb. I wouldn’t be in this room if Tris was alive.” But she wiggled out of Four’s arms. “And if it weren’t for my Mother Tris WOULD still be alive. Or have you forgotten that you were apart of that as well.”

Christina was sighing softly when she saw both of them visibly show affection but was still curious and livid with Caleb for still being around. “So what happened in Medical?” she brought the story back into the light.

“No one was there, so I located my tracker and removed it.” She just shrugged.

“That explains why Tris was bitching about you on day one. You were already injured but refused to lay low to recover.” Christina was starting to laugh. “My god, I can still hear her ranting and raving about your stubbornness and how you never cried out or asked for a respite. You pissed her off and yet she was proud as well.”

“You’re forgetting something Talia.” Caleb brought the mood back down to horrid.

“Fuck you, Caleb.” Talia was tense and the blood from her wound was running again.    

“Talia,” Will touched her shoulder. “You are Dauntless. You’re one of us already.”

“Thanks Will.” Tears were coming back, but she packed them anyway. “The bigger problem is that the simulation that Beca was in was created by me, I think.” Her own admission made her sink to the floor. She covered her head waiting for the blows and yelling.

“Get up Talia. You’re coming back to Erudite with me now you don't belong here and you know it.” Caleb said making his way to the door.

“No.” Four growled. “She chose Dauntless and that’s where she’s staying. Faction before blood Caleb.” Four had moved in front of Talia just in case things got messy. With the way Talia covered herself Four was afraid this had happened before.

Christina dropped to the floor next to her. “Hey,” she sniffed. “Is this what you want?”

Shaking her head Talia said, “No, I’m tired of being the guinea pig or whipping boy for others mistake. I made this choice and I want to keep it.”

“You are staying, my friend.” Christina said. She pulled Talia up to a standing position and hugged her fiercely. “I’m not letting you go.”

“Talia, your place is with Erudite.” Caleb said grasping her arm. “It’s what you mother wants.”

Talia’s head snapped up and she turned faster than intended. She was seeing black spots and white hot pain surged through her body. “What my mother wants? My mother can go to hell! This is all her fault!” When hung her arm out of Caleb’s grasp she pointed to Four, “He lost the one he loved because of my mother! She is the sole reason I left Erudite! Hell, I wasn’t even raised Erudite.” She started shoving him out of her apartment. She was shoving Caleb across the chasm.

“I can walk Talia.”

“Then do so, and it’s Triage you asshat.” Her voice was deep and not hers.

“Just to let you know we can still track you and any other Dauntless members.” Caleb cut in.

Talia just laughed. “Actually, you can’t. I turned them off.” Caleb’s face turned a shade of puce. “I’m still smart you asshole and I still study.”

“You need to leave Caleb.” Four stated in his best Head of Faction voice.

“All the love you had for my sister and you end up with this.” Caleb said shaking his head and pointed a Talia. “A disgrace to any faction.”

It’s unclear who got to him first but Talia was dragging him by the arms up eight flights of stairs. Caleb was shouting obscenities the whole way. Dauntless members, who were around to see, where cheering but Talia had was on a mission. Her free hand was gripping her torn shirt. Eight flights of stairs and she practically threw Caleb out. He stumbled forward trying to regain his balance. Talia made her way back down the stairs without anyone seeing her leave.

“Tobias,” he glared. “As head of Erudite I demand that she be punished.”

All of them stood motionless. “I will deal with her.” Four said quietly. “And it’s Four. You have no right to call me Tobias.”

He closed the door and motioned for the guard on watch forward. “Anyone not in Dauntless who comes through that door without my expressed permission will be forced into a cage until I’m ready to deal with them. You,” he slammed his finger into the guard’s chest. “You will be factionless. Do I make myself clear.”

“Yes sir.” The guard stated expressionless.  “And the Dauntless members who wish to leave?” It was a valid question.

“No one leaves tonight.” Four muttered.

“Yes sir.” The guard took his post and all those who witnessed Talia’s outrage scattered. Talia was nowhere to be found.

“Where did she go?” asked Will.

“Christina go find her and I’ll get her cake.” he ordered. “She need us.” _I need her._

“Do you still trust her? Christina asked with tears running down her cheeks. “Cause I swear Four, I’m not going to lose her to Erudite or anyone else. Caleb can go to hell. And I’m going help Talia throw Jeanine into the chasm. We lost Tris to that woman I’m not letting Talia leave.”

“I trust her.” Four replied _I think it’s more than trust_. “Do you?”

“Yes.” Christina replied with her head held high.

“Good.” Four sighed. “Go find her.”

“Four?” Will was hesitant.

“Yeah?” He turned to look at his friend.

“You like her don’t you?”

“Yeah. It’s more than that and damn it she’s got to know.” he started towards the pit with Will walking by him.

*******

Talia had sprinted away from the crowed before anyone could ask her anything. She was in a great deal of pain. Her hands were bloody from the chasm bridge and she’d be pulling out blue fibers from Caleb’s vest for hours. She needed to look at her back. “Fucking temper tantrum and I just go and let it loose on Caleb. He fucking deserved it! Where doesn't he get off saying I'm going back with him. I'm never going anywhere with him again.”

There wasn’t a question that Beca was after something but it was the simulation that really bothered her. She went to her apartment and stood in front of a mirror in her closet. She twisted to see her back and had to remove her shirt since it was in ruins. She twisted again and saw the gash over the Erudite tattoo. “Well shit, that’s gonna be ruined.” She resolved, while dragging Caleb out, to find any and all trackers in every Dauntless member and initiates and remove them. Then she’d try and locate any trackers in the other factions, but she was so tired. Her adrenaline rush was crashing. So many things she wanted to do to keep from getting angry again but she hear a knock.

She grabbed the nearest knife and yelled. “Who is it?”

“It’s Christina! Open up!”

Her body sagged as she made her way to open her door but her fingers shimmied the knife up and down her hand the metal bringing her calm. Christina stepped in and saw the blade.

“You ok?”

“I’ll survive.” Talia shrugged. “But not really. I’m a damn leader in training and I have a fucking meltdown. I’m not in Erudite anymore and he has the nerve to try and take me back.”

“Do you want me to do anything?” Christina asked cautiously.

“I need your approval on something.”

“You have it.  I need something from you as well.” Christina replied, Talia opened her mouth to speak. “Before you speak just listen. Tomorrow, whenever you wake up I want you to find a way to locate any and all trackers from Dauntless members and our initiates.”

“I want your approval to remove them once I find them.” Talia shuttered and placed her knife on her sink. “Dauntless members will be harder to locate and remove but consider it done.”

There was another knock on the door and Talia grabbed her knife. Christina placed a hand on her shoulder. “Easy Talia, it’s probably just Will and Four with cake.”

Her body relaxed but her face was tense. Her fingers played with the grip on her knife. She could smell the chocolate in the cake before anyone said what it was. But there was also a hint of bacon. Four and Will joined her and Christina. Will had placed the containers on her desk by her closet. Four gave Talia a hug, but before anyone spoke there was another knock on the door. Talia immediately went on the defensive, she shoved Four away and her knife was gripped firmly in case she had to protect herself.

Will walked to the door and opened it enough to see who it was. When he opened it all the way Talia saw Trevor, with bandages, Wylie with ice, and Silas with needle and thread. “Looks like your crew is here.”

“We’ll be quick but that wound needs to be taken care of before you do anything else.” Silas said.

“Hungry?” Four asked in a soothing voice. “Will brought bacon sandwiches.”

“I’m famished, but they’re right the wound needs to be tended to.”  Taking a sandwich anyway. “I guess my adrenaline was rushing that I didn’t feel any pain, but I can feel it now.”  

“There will be another knock here soon Four. It will be Tori. Triage, lay on the bed please.” Trevor was taking control. “Christina we need you to hold her down.” Sure enough there was a knock and it was Tori who didn’t even wait for someone to open the door.

“What the hell happened?” Tori was red faced. “The Pit is buzzing with rumors. Something about you throwing out Caleb Prior.”

Talia just nodded. “I’ve got to get my anger under control I have a job to do.”

“Well, I think with what’s about to happen you’ll reign it in until it’s needed.” Tori directed Talia’s crew to continue.

“Triage, on the bed.” Trevor said again. Four helped her lay down kissing her fingers.

“Ok. This hurts.” Talia positioned herself on the bed horizontally.

“Four, you will need to sit here, on her right,  and take her hand.” Trevor directed.

“That’s not a good idea, her hands are just as bad.” Four said.

“It’s ok.” Talia said. “They’re not as bad as my back or my pride.”

“Before you start.” Will began. “Are there any other things we need to know. I’m not sure I can handle any more surprises. “

“So not a good time to say I’m also divergent?” Talia blurted out.

Everyone laughed. “Are you serious?” Will was judgemental with his question.

“Yes.” Talia replied. _Once again I'm being judged. Will it ever end?_

“Will, she’s one of us.” Christina said kissing him.

“Christina sit here.” Trevor pointed to Talia’s upper back. “Place your knees under her arms.” Christina did as she was instructed. “Tori, sit next to Four holding  the other hand. Will, stand between Tori and Four and hold Christina’s hands. Wylie, you are at her feet. I will have to sit on her hamstrings for this to work.”

“Umm, not to be a bother, but why am I sitting on my friend?” Christina asked. Talia looked at Tori and beamed. She looked a Four who smiled and winked at her.

“Because we don’t have a numbing agent and she’s gonna buck and try and grab me. My guess is whoever came by here last was given the last bit of pain killer” Trevor was in control. His voice directed but not overbearing or demanding. “Talia, as I am now your apprentice, I’m asking for forgiveness now cause this is gonna be a bitch.”

“Forgiven.” Talia nodded assent.  “Let’s do this. I’m hungry.” She looked at Four.

Tori just smiled. For the first time since she came into Dauntless Talia had a family. Everyone was in position, when Trevor wiped the area clean with the rubbing alcohol and Talia tensed.

“Look at me. When all this is over we’ll have Dauntless cake and talk. Ok?” Four kissed her lips.

Talia just nodded. Christina was holding on to Will and making sure that Talia was as comfortable as could be. Trevor lit the blow torch to sterilize the needle. He gently climbed on the back of her legs being careful to not touch her with  the needle.

“Hey, Trevor.” Talia was very hasty in her next words. “If you don’t hurry up and get this over with I’m gonna drag you into the pit and give you a reason to need a day off. GET THIS STARTED!”

“Give me a water drop Triage.” Trevor muttered.

He took the red hot needle and stuck it into Talia’s skin. He wasn’t kidding when she started bucking. Obscene words were flying out of her mouth. “Youfuckingamitytrash! I’m going to kill you.”

Four gripped her hand tighter. “Look at me Talia.” he whispered. “I know it hurts. But we’re here. Your friends and your family are here.”

She was crying without holding anything back. “It hurts. It hurts. Tre… Stop!”

“I can’t.” Trevor said. “I’m almost finished.” he was lying. “If you don’t stop moving I won’t be able to finish.”

“Look at me Talia.” Four’s eyes were searching hers. “Look at me. Can you tell me about those quotes on the wall?

“I’m sorry mother, please make it stop. I’ll do it over, I’ll make it right. Please. I’ll be better.” Talia was screaming in agony. 

“What the hell was that?” Will asked as everyone looked at each other.

“Talia,” Four soothed. “Tell me about the quotes on your wall.”

She was grimacing, crying, and trying desperately to get Christina off her back.

“Look at me.” Four was wanting her to see him. Not just as head of Dauntless but as a friend and maybe more. “The first one says. ‘No greater love hath no man than he who lay down his life for a friend.’ John 15:13. What does that mean and where did it come from?” Talia was still.

“Triage, it’s done.” Trevor said. Talia didn't move. Christina climbed off quickly and just laid her hand on Talia’s upper back.

“Talia,” Christina started. “Honey, you need to wake up.” Panic was starting to rise in Christina’s eyes.

Will sat down next her and looked at Four and Tori. “She’s passed out.” Tori said. “She’ll be ok. Trevor let me see how your did.” Tori got up and moved to see how well he did and clasped his shoulder. “Nice job.”

“She’s gonna hate me when she wakes up.” Trevor admitted.

“The stitches are small and I can fix the tattoo to cover them up.” Tori said.

“But her words.” Trevor was shaking.

“Those words were out of pain.” replied Four who was stroking Talia’s arm trying to wake her.

“If she doesn’t come to in a few minutes come and get me.” Tori said. “I have something that will wake her.”

“Tori,” Christina hiccuped. “Her screams about her mother? What happened?”

“She can explain better, but every time she upset Jeanine she was whipped. Even in her childhood if something went wrong she was at fault, no matter her fault or not, her mother sent Eric to whip her. Imagine working in the Amity fields and she or someone else makes a mistake. Knowing that that night your brother would show up and whip your back and you had to show up for class or work the next day without any help.”

“Talia,” Four soothed. “Come back to me. To us.”

“This is worse than when we almost killed those in Abnegation.” Muttered Will.

“This explains what she told me when I asked about why she wanted to help us find Jeanine.” Christina choked.

“What did she say?” Tori inquired.

“I asked ‘I’m guessing you have a reason for wanting Jeanine dead.’ She told me ‘a few”

“I would agree with you on that.” Four agreed. “Talia, come back. It’s over. The pain is over.”

Leaning in as far as he could he put his lips to her ears. “Don’t leave me.”

“Hmmmm” Talia was starting to come too. Four just sat back down and interlocked his fingers with hers.

“She's coming round.” Christina sighed. “Thank god Talia. You gave us a scare.”

Talia woke up and was dazed. “Is it over?” She asked meekly.

“Yeah. “ said Four kissing her hand.

“I want cake.” She joked.

“Thanks Trevor.” She was exhausted. “Can you tell me all about it?”

“Later” came a chorus of voices.

“You need rest. We can start tomorrow with telling you everything.” Christina directed everyone out the door. “Don't rush tomorrow. Start when you can.”

Christina did something that even Talia wasn't expecting. She leaned down and kissed Talia's temple. Everyone made their way out of Talia’s apartment leaving Four alone with Talia.


	8. Chapter 8

Talia laid on her bed trying not to move, but wanting to move to ease her pain. Four was doing his best to help, “You know, I think I figured out why they call you Triage, and honestly it doesn’t suit you.” Four said after helping Talia get out of her current clothes. “We need to get you a new name.” He took great care in removing her sports bra considering her position and how she was feeling, but when the tips of his fingers grazed her breasts and she moaned and relaxed. He smiled.

“I’m so tired.” She muttered as she slowly raised herself into a sitting position and she automatically covered herself. “I'm tired of being in trouble for everyone else. If I'm at fault blame me, don't blame me for something that someone else did.” She leaned into his chest. His rock hard chest and just laying her face on his chest was making it hard for her to think. Her eyes closed as she breathed him in.

“You’re safe with me.” Four said kissing her head. She relaxed more into him. She was topless and with amazement she didn't feel vulnerable. “You need your rest and I’m pretty sure you want clothes. Don't move.” His voice was stern but flirtatious.

“It hurts to move.” She joked. She wanted him. Four had grabbed another bra and tank top from her closet and was helping Talia put the bra on when the door to her apartment swung back open. Christina and Will just stood there. Christina had a glint in her eye that was either for good or for violence. Will was just there.

“I had an idea.” She blurted, “And since Four wasn’t behind us when we left we came back.” Talia had covered her chest again, even being covered she felt awkward, because being with Four was one thing but having Christina and Will there was another.

Four had quickly removed his hands from Talia who was now struggling to dress herself _damn it Four you could’ve helped me_. “Oh screw it.” She hissed throwing the shirt on the bed and pulling herself into a standing position to face them with a wince.

“What’s the plan?” Talia asked gruffly. “You already want me to find and remove the trackers. What else is there?” _Ouch._

“We use one of the Erudite initiates as bait.” Christina was excited.

“We need to look at the trackers first Chis.” Will mentioned while yawning.

“Of course we can look at one, but we take one of the transfers and put it back in, turn it on and see what happens. If anything we’ll be able to keep track if they leave headquarters.”

“Or you just use me.” Talia commented. “There's a high probability that Jeanine will find me that’s if that's what you're going for.”

“Umm Talia,”

But before Christina could finish Talia quipped, “I know, I know, my Erudite is showing.”

“True, but what I was going to say is you're one of us.” Christina replied.

“And I think Christina will agree with me on this. We trust you completely and you do what you need to do. You have mine and Christina’s approval for whatever you need.” Will continued.

“Mine too.” Four said rubbing her neck.

“You say you trust me.” Talia said. “But I need to trust that you won't stab me in the back when it’s all over with. I need to trust that you won't turn your backs on me when things get rough either.”

“Anything else?” Christina hinted.

Will had started kissing the back Christina’s neck and his hands were constantly moving over her arms.

“Ehem.” Four coughed. Will stopped for a few moments.

“I want two more things.”

“Go on.” Will said as his hands continued to run over Christina’s arms.

“I want my crew to have full access to me and help when I need it.” She was getting bold.

“Agreed.” Four and Christina said in unison. Four wrapped his arms around Talia waist.

“The other?” Christina was smiling. Talia was flush.

“I want one uninterrupted night with Four.” She said softly. _A little too bold there, Talia. Her mind was on a roll. “Oh shut up.” She told it._

“Agreed” Four said in her ear. “But I want the whole day. We need to talk and frankly I want to know you in all capacities.” Talia just laughed.

Will had started his assault on Christina’s body again and she was getting into it. “Hey!” Shouted Talia. “Not in my room.”

“Just remember what I told you.” Christina was breathless.

“I got it handled. Now get out of my room. None of that shit is allowed.” Talia shoved them out of her room and almost collapsed from pain.

“I need to sleep. It’s been one hell of a day.” Talia whimpered. As she walked back to where Four was standing.

“Yes it has.” He agreed. “Talia,” he pulled her close bringing her lips to his. His kiss was soft  and it left promises. She inhaled his scent and kissed him back.

“The whole day?” She asked.

“I want a full twenty four hours just you and me. If we have to leave Dauntless headquarters I'm happy to do it.” It was one of the most honest statements he said in a long time. He had taken her hand and entwined his fingers with her’s. She stood on the balls of her feet and kissed him again. But fear took hold and she released herself.

“Sorry. I’m not very good at this.” She apologized.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” Four said. “Talk to me.”

“I’m scared.” She was feeling rejection for no other reason than admitting her fear. Her emotions were heading to the surface and she wasn’t sure how this was going to work. She had already felt anger last night and today. Fear was here and then earlier, lust, rage, and sadness. This was a heavy day.

“What do you do when it’s just you?” He was curious and her body language gave the impression that she wasn’t ready to talk about her feelings just yet. “What I mean is, when you're not training or in your shop. When you come home for the night what do you do?”

“I paint, read, or make things.” She said. “I was born Erudite and you know most of them are full of themselves because they think they know everything. But I don’t always read for knowledge. I read for escape. Sometimes I read to get ideas. But my mother didn’t want me so I was sent to Amity at like age one or something. So I was raised Amity. I worked the fields, but one night the water system broke and the elders were running around like crazy and I walked into the pump room and adjusted a few things and problem was solved a few days later. Every meal we were noticing that the water was tasting funny and the bread wasn’t rising.” Her story was just pouring out of her. She hadn’t meant to talk about it yet.

“What was the problem?”

“Someone had taken a garden fork and an a piece of an apple and shoved into a pipe and we had an overabundance of algae.” she yawned. “The taste of rust and apple?” shaking her head from the memory. “Not good. I was eight.”

He pulled her to her bed. “Lay down. I wasn’t thinking.”

“I can stand.” she lied and continued talking. “That night Eric showed up and whipped me for the first time. Come to find out later that he had damaged the water system and since I fixed it mother was pissed.”

“You need to sleep, we can talk more over breakfast.”

“Ok.”

“And I’ll help you with locating the trackers.” Four got her settled in bed. He wanted to stay with her but knew he’d regret anything he did.

“Four,” she said sleepily. “Lock the door and stay.” _Still bold ther Talia. Oh go turn yourself off for a change._

“Ok.” he replied. She was sound asleep when everything was locked and turned off. He laid down next to her pulling a small blanket up over his arms. He tried to sleep but it was escaping him. He kissed Talia softly on the cheek and whispered. “I’m not leaving but I can’t sleep. Don’t leave me.”

“Hmmm” she sighed. He just smiled. He stood up and saw a dim light coming from what she had called the alcove. He took one step in and light blazed to life. Momentarily blinded, he turned to the dark of the other room until his eyes to adjust. Thankfully Talia was still sleeping.

“Wow.” he breathed. Her little alcove wasn’t an alcove at all but an entirely second room. She had removed all the black curtains from the last time he was in here. _“When did she have time?”_ he thought. _“I’ve practically been with her the entire time.”_  He looked around seeing every wall was covered with bookshelves, paintings, posters, and at the far end of this room was a couch with a long bench protruding from the back of the couch. It had a name and he knew it but couldn’t think of it. On the couch was a book lying face down. He picked up and read “The Hunger Games” looked like she was half way through it. Next to that was another book entitled “2nd Chance.” He walked the room seeing other titles that had been pulled out ever so slightly, like she picked these up a lot or was about to start reading them, “How to Fix Your Car and other useful repairs.” “Holy Bible”, “Star Wars.” The posters were just as incredible as some of the books. “RENT. No Day But Today.” “Walt Disney’s The Lion King.”  On the wall above the couch was a green poster. Two women, one face front in black with a green face and red lips, the other wearing white speaking into the other’s ear. He read, “WICKED. So much happened before Dorothy dropped in” If that wasn’t enough he saw a back poster with white block letters “Queen” it read. These posters were fantastic but he had never heard of any of them. He would have to ask her when she woke up. He finally made the connection with what she had said earlier. She didn’t read for just knowledge. She read for pleasure and he guessed that the poster were music. Yes, a whole day with her was necessary if only to talk to her about her other room.

He heard her stir and wanted to be with her. He stepped out of her room and went to lay down. “I want you.” he whispered.

“Yes.” she replied.

He wasn’t sure if she truly heard him or was dreaming. He didn’t care. What she had already told him was enough to want her mother dead. “You coward. When we find you I’ll kill you if she doesn’t and then we’re throwing your ass into the chasm.” he whispered to the night and fell asleep with his arm over her waist and his lips kissing her hair.

“ _She was working on this car. At least now it looked like one. She smelled him before she felt him. Mint and Wind. The delicious smell of Four._

_“I want you.” He whispers in her ear._

_“Yes.” She replies._

Talia woke up extremely hot. She never got too hot. She was also having a hard time moving. Looking at her watch it was 5:30 in the morning. But the gentle breath made her wake up fully. Now her dream makes sense. She rolled over and kissed his forehead. “I want you back” she whispered.

“Hmmm” he replied.

She showered quickly wincing when the water hit the stitches in her lower back. Toweling off she got dressed (all black today) and stared at Four. Her smile fell when she remembered the last time she had a man in her room. She could still see her brothers sadistic smile as he waited for her to understand why he was there. She saw her first lover, and the pain he caused. She started crying silently so she didn't wake him but the memories were strong. She needed to do something. She remembered being asked some time ago to work on one of the kitchen ovens.

Four stirred. “Morning you.”

“Hey.” Talia sat back down on her bed sniffing. Four entwined their fingers. “I need to go look at an oven. Then I'm going to the training room, these last two days have been tough and I need to let off some steam.”

“Mind if I stay here a bit?” He was half asleep.

“I don't mind.” She kissed his temple. “There's a hook by the door with a key. Lock the door on your way out. Put the key in either the hole by the door or on top of the door frame.”

“Mkay” he said. She grabbed her music stick and headphones and went to find the oven that needed to be fixed.

*****

“Hey Triage!” Yelled Cooke as Talia walked into the kitchen. “Bout time you showed up. I've been waiting a week.”

“Sorry Cooke. Life has been a little off, but show me the oven you need fixed.”

“Got a little bounce in your step this mornin’, you have a date?”

“Pfft. I got sleep last night, _with Four right next to me_. Where am I going Cooke?”

“Back right corner.”

“On it.” And Talia set off. She was hoping this would be easy since she wanted to hit something before the initiates showed up. She found the oven and started working up a diagnostic when she heard a voice that was all too familiar.

“He told you what he wanted. He told you he wanted his meals just like Eric's.”

“Eric never got special treatment. He ordered his meals just like everyone else. If Peter doesn't like it he can starve.” Cooke replied.

“He told you that he needed his meals brought to him. He doesn't want to be disturb.” Rachel was getting even angrier.

“Since Peter is in medical his meal plans are given to me by the doctor on duty. He gets nothing special.” Cooke replied.

Ssscccrrrraaaaappppp! Talia was moving the oven to not only unhook it from the back but to make Rachel aware that she wasn't alone.  “Hey Cooke! Looks like the oven is toast.” Talia laughed. It was a horrible joke but who cares. “Might have to rewire it.”

Talia walked back to the front of the kitchen and removed her ear plugs to make it seem like she hadn't heard anything. “Oh hey Rachel. Thought I told you to stay off that leg.”

“Mind your own business Triage.” Her jaw was clenched.

“Cooke, I need to come back later for that oven. It's not looking good but I can try and repair it if you want.”

“Yeah. I'm gonna need it. I'll have your fee in a few minutes. Eggs?”

“Sure thanks.” Talia walked out to see the rest of Dauntless coming in for breakfast.

“How are you this morning Rachel?” Sarcasm was oozing everywhere.

“Don't start Triage.” Rachel glared. “You should think about Peter’s offer because when the leadership changes it will be my pleasure to personally make you factionless.”

“Rachel I told you to stay off that leg.” Talia reminded. “But if you want to ignore my directions fine. Don't come to me when you lose your ability to walk on it.”

Breakfast in hand and the oven in her shop Talia went to the training room. She wanted to workout and knowing that Four was still in her bed made her want to go back to him.


	9. Tracker Removal

Talia put the last of her breakfast in her mouth as she descended the stairs to the training room. To her, the room resembled the space under a bridge. In her mind, Dauntless members of old gutted this area, leaving the bridge bottom for a ceiling and the back walls of the surrounding shops as the walls. She loved it. She’d seen pictures of what this place used to look like, and in her opinion it looked better now. The walls were covered with targets, punching bags hung from the ceiling, and standing dummies stood randomly throughout the room. Some of the targets were standard bullseyes, which was great for newer members. Others were  human-shaped cutouts in different sizes, from tiny to enormous.The standing dummies were marked with the best spots to shoot, whether to disable or to kill.

She found a bag, took off her t-shirt, and put her headphones on for some music. She usually took a few licks with her bare knuckles before putting gloves on, but not today. Today she ignored the sense of vulnerability she felt without the t-shirt, laced up her gloves, and began to strike the bag, slowly at first and then building up speed.

She was digging into her mind to find her rage and let it take over so that she could be rid of it, but it never came to the surface. She was in the zone, keeping her strikes on the bag in time with the beat of the music, when a gentle hand grazed her back, disrupting her rhythm with a bite of pain as the touch grazed a stitch. She whirled around, prepared to strike whomever had come up behind her.

Christina stood there with her hands raised.

Talia took her headphones out. “Sorry, I couldn’t hear you.”

“I said, easy.” Christina repeated. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m OK. My back hurts and the stitches pull, but it’s not too bad.” She resumed hitting the bag.

“So, Four.” Christina began, obviously trying to get Talia’s attention again.

Talia froze in mid strike. “What about Four?”

“You like him, don’t you?”

“Are you always this blunt?” Talia asked, turning away in an attempt to start her workout _again_ \- and possibly head off any more uncomfortable questions.

“Yeah, normally,” Christina replied. Talia stopped hitting the bag and began to laugh.

“So, do you like him?” Christina asked again.

“Does it matter?”

“If we’re gonna be friends, and I hope we are, I would hope that you can trust me enough to tell me these things.” Christina looked down. “Tris was a good friend, but she didn’t really tell me anything. I had to pry it out of her, and even then she was tight lipped.” Looking up at Talia, she asked again, “Do you like Four?”

“Yes.” Talia sighed. Her head hit the bag. “Yes, I like him alot, and it scares the shit out of me.”

“Well, that’s good to know,” said a deep voice, and then she could smell him. _Mint and wind._ “I like you too.” Four kissed Talia on the cheek. “Morning, Christina.”

“Morning,” Christina replied, giving him a hug. “She’s mine tonight, Four.”

“Wh- what?” Talia stuttered.

“We’re going off and doing girl things like talking about boys, doing our hair, our nails, that sort of thing.” Christina looked at Four. “Take Will and go do guy stuff.”

“Christina, I kinda had plans.”

“Like what?”

“Dinner with Tori and then the zip line,” Talia replied.

“Dinner with Tori is a big deal, isn’t it?” Four asked.

“Yes,” she responded.  

“Ok.” Christina stopped to think. “Can you skip the zip and do it after capture the flag?”

“I’m not missing dinner with Tori, but everything else can wait.”

“Good. I’ll see you after dinner,” Christina said with a smile. “I guess I better go wake the newbies.” She walked off in the direction of the initiate dorm.

“Hey, Christina,” Talia shouted. Christina walked back. “Just to let you both know, I was looking at one of the ovens this morning and I heard Rachel tell Cooke that Peter wanted his breakfast just like Eric’s. I’m not sure what’s going on, but I don’t like it.” She repeated everything that happened while she was looking at the oven.

“I’ll look into it, Talia, thanks for the heads up,” Christina said. “See you in a bit.”

Talia (finally) resumed her workout with the knowledge that Four was still there. Even knowing he was watching her, she couldn't turn and look at him.

“Talia, will you look at me?” Four whispered, resting his hands on her hips.

“I'm not sure I can.” Her heart pounded and her breathing hitched. Four moved his hands to her shoulders  and traced a scar with his fingers, bringing Talia closer to him. He leaned down and kissed the scar so lightly. Talia rested her head on his chest as he stroked  her arms.

“You’re trembling,” Four said with a kiss at her ear. “You ok?”

“Yes and no,” she replied. “It scares me that this is happening, and so fast, but I’m glad it is. I don’t want it to end.”

Four turned her to face him. “Let your instincts take over. Go with gut feelings.”

“This is so new to me.”

“Use your instincts,” he repeated softy.

“I’m so scared, but damn it, I want you.” She took the leap. She kissed him.

The complete shock would take over her later, but in that moment there was only the kiss. She gripped his shirt not only for balance but to keep him close. His hands slid around her waist and he sighed against her lips. She sighed right back. His fingers grazed her hips as his grip shifted, and she giggled. He his kisses from her lips and to her neck, and she shivered.

“Oh god,” she whispered, tilting her head back. Four was pulling her even closer when Christina’s voice echoed in the room.

“This where you will train!” The call was a little louder than normal, as if to alert them.

“To be continued,” Four whispered, and gave her one more kiss.

“Yes,” she whispered back. Trying to regain her composure  as the group of wide-eyed initiates poured through the door, she started hitting the bag again. She could still smell Four as he walked away, gently grazing her shoulder as he went. His scent lingered even as he moved away, waiting for the initiates to assemble.

*******

Four stood in the center of the sparring mat with his arms folded across his chest. As the initiates gathered, he glanced at Talia taking all her frustration and anger out on the punching bag. _I have to focus. The initiates need me to be a leader, but damn, Talia._

“Good morning,” he started. When no one answered, he took a knife from his pocket and threw it at the nearest target. That got everyone’s attention. “Let me repeat. Good Morning.”

“Morning,” everyone replied, some still yawning.

He looked the room over, and in the silence he could hear Talia striking the bag. “Triage.”

Talia stopped hitting. “Yeah?” She was out of breath. _Damn, she’s beautiful._

“Grab a shirt and go get your assignment from Christina,” he said, then turned back to the initiates.

He began explaining the rules of Dauntless training. Christina and Talia went off, out of earshot and then out of sight behind some standing dummies.

******

_His mood swings are killing me._ Talia pulled her shirt on and wiped her eyes.

“Hey,” Christina said, putting a careful hand  on Talia’s shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

“My back,” she whimpered. _Nice excuse._

“Don’t lie to me, Talia. It’s Four, isn’t it?”

“Geez Christina, I can’t hide a damn thing from you.”

“Candor, remember?” She chuckled. “I can read your body language.”

“I can’t help the way I feel about him, but damn, he keeps changing on me. One minute he’s all kind and passionate, the next he’s all ‘roar I am Head of Dauntless and I have no feelings.’ Never sure which I’m going to get, and I don’t like it.”

“Talia. He likes you a lot.” Christina stopped and looked back at him, making Talia turn as well. He smiled.

“He’s afraid that, like Tris, you’ll run off and do something completely stupid to save us all. That was Tris’ big problem. She did everything on her own and left us all behind. He doesn’t want to lose you.”

“Feelings are mutual,” Talia replied.

“Good.” Christina perked up. “Now about your assignment. You know what to do, but I want you to pick people at random, find those damn trackers, and get them out. I’m not going to have you hurt again by some idiot in a simulation.” Talia just smiled. “Take out as many as you can, and then tonight we’ll go to Club D and have a girls night.”

“I’ve never gone to Club D before.” _I’ve fixed Club D too many times but never been._ “This will be after dinner, right?”

“I’m not going to make you miss dinner with Tori, I promise.” Christina was genuine in her response.

“Thanks,” Talia replied. “Let’s go play a game of find the tracker.”

“Come on,” Christina said.

*******

“So, now that you know the rules, let me explain something else.” Four hadn’t moved, which was surprising. Talia came to stand beside him as he went on, “Because of last night’s incident we have security guards stationed at the entrance. Not only for your protection but for any Dauntless member that arrives in the training room.” Everyone turned to see the guards. “Triage, are you ready?”

“I am.”

“Good.” Four stepped aside.

“Beca, you feeling ok?” Christina asked carefully.

The crowd turned to see Beca stand up straight. Talia took her cue from Christina’s question and moved to stand in front of Beca, looking into her eyes to see if she could see the simulation. _Come and get me, bitch. I’m standing right in front of you._ Talia moved away with a smile.

“My name is Triage, and I’ve been assigned to scan your bodies for any foreign objects or any diseases. So, Beca, you come  first, and then come back here when I’m done.”

“I’m not going anywhere with you,” Beca stammered. Her shock was visible. “I’m not going to miss my first day of training so that you can hinder my chances to pass.”

“You don’t have the option. Just to be clear, no one will hinder your chances at anything. You’re Dauntless and you have to prove it to us on your own. Beca, get moving,” Talia ordered.

“We have one week, Triage, before we start keeping score. I suggest you and Four get busy,” Christina said. Will snickered in the back.

Talia moved to take Beca by the arm, and Beca slapped her across the face. Before anyone could move, Talia slammed her fist into the side of Beca’s head. Looking at Four, she snapped, “If she wakes up normal, she can challenge me. I’ve got a job to do.” _Join me or not, I don’t care._

A guard showed up to carry Beca to the impromptu medical room for the device removal. Talia had decided that the Fear Landscape room would be perfect. She replaced the simulation chair with a table and had the scanner brought to her. This particular scanner looked like the old open MRI machines, it hadn’t worked in years, but the scanning device itself was handheld, one of her creations. Once alone, Talia and Four set to work, barely talking in case Beca woke up.

“She will need this when we find the tracker.” Talia said, handing Four the syringe.

“Is that a good idea?” he asked. “I mean, she’s out cold.”

“It’s a local anesthetic. The area I’m going to cut into will be numb, but nothing else. She’ll wake up fine.”

“About what happened in the training room,” Four started while setting up the scanner and computer in the back left corner.

“You don’t slap me and expect me to just stand there. She attacked me, I hit back.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Four said. “I meant my kiss.”

Without looking at him, she stated, “I like you, Four, but your mood swings are killing me. If you’re scared to show affection in front of Dauntless members other than  Christina and Will, then we have a problem.The initiates need to know you’re a leader. A leader is allowed, and sometimes expected, to be involved with someone. Also, how do you expect people to follow you if you’re not able to care for those around you?”

“Eric was such a brutal leader, and he had several friends who followed his lead. I figured if I stayed quiet things would change. Yet when Tris, Christina, and Will showed up he only became even more sadistic. I don’t want people to compare me to him.”

“Yet staying quiet isn’t doing Dauntless any good.  You are not Eric, _thank God_ , you have to show Dauntless who you are. You can’t train the initiates and then go hide away where no one knows who who you are. You can’t be ‘the man behind the curtain.’”

“The who?” Four asked.

“I read a book called _The Wizard of Oz_ . The wizard himself wasn’t all powerful like he claimed and used this giant figurehead to control the citizens of Oz. When the main character, Dorothy, and her little group arrived to have an audience with the wizard, her dog pulled away a curtain to reveal a man speaking into a microphone. He was just a man. You can’t be a Dauntless leader and stay in the shadows or behind the curtain so to speak. You have to show Dauntless that you are in control and to hell with keeping things to yourself.”

“You’re right,” he admitted. “I used to be able to keep my relationships and feelings secret, but it’s getting hard for me to keep how I feel about you a secret from anyone. I’m sorry.” He brought her the scanner.

“I’m not an initiate, Four.” (Yeah, she went there.) “But everything between us is so new to me that I don’t even know what to do. I spent years clamping my emotions down, and now I have the freedom to release them, I’m not sure how.” Talia turned to face him. “We need to talk, a serious conversation without interruptions, and then we can decide if we truly want a relationship or if you just want me by your side as an assistant.” Taking the scanner from him, she kissed his lips anyway. “That being said, I know how I feel and it won’t change any work I do. I can promise that. Nothing gets in the way of a job that is given to me.”

“Glad to know,” he responded, kissing her back. “And for the record, Tris was the only initiate I’ve had a relationship with, and it was only for a few months.”

She gave a short sigh. “Let’s get to work.” _That’s twice I’ve initiated something and he responded without hesitation. He needs to get his shit together. Why do I have to start everything? I’m the one with emotional issues and yet I can’t keep from kissing him._

Talia put on some black nitrile gloves so that no fingerprints would be visible on the device and to keep Beca’s (or anyone's) blood off her skin. She started scanning Beca’s body from the neck down. Dauntless put the fear serum simulations into necks, Erudite put their serums into arms. _Mother wasn’t dumb enough to put anything into the cranial cavity, was she? But cruel enough… that’s a definite._ She started the scan over again. This time she started at the head. Nothing showed up on the monitor until Talia reached Beca's hip.

“Stop,” blurted Four. Talia froze. He took the scanner from her so that she could see exactly what he was talking about.

“Shit,” she whispered. She bent her head down in despair, then slammed her fist on the computer stand. “It’s one of mine.”

“Hey,” Four soothed. “We can do this. We’ll take it out, analyze it, and we’ll go from there.”

Talia nodded.

“Then we can have our day,” he whispered.

“Four.” She looked right at him. “If we don’t remove this particular tracking device and someone turns it on, Erudite leaders, mainly Caleb, will know everything. Not just how to control, but more.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, if this truly is one of mine, they will know how we operate. A person's vital signs, whereabouts, desires, pleasures, pain. Everything.” She grabbed a scalpel and something to hang the scanner on so she didn’t miss the device. After injecting the local antestia, Talia made her first incision, then  stopped. “I need Trevor. He can stitch her up far better than I can. Please, Four.” Talia began opening Beca's skin to look for the tracker.

“What bothers me is how it’s turned on and really, how can they know all about a person from just a simulation?” He moved to the door to retrieve the guard. “Find Trevor in the repair shop and tell him I need him.”

“That won’t get him here fast enough,” Talia corrected. “Tell him it’s ‘harvest time’ He’ll know what it means, and he’ll be here before I’m done pulling this thing out.” The guard turned and left quickly.

“‘Harvest time’?” Four inquired.

“It’s a game we used to play in Amity. Really, it was a punishment. When anyone, child or adult, was punished, we were forced to pull weeds. So we made a game out of it. Whoever pulled the biggest or longest weed got bragging rights until the next time we were punished. After awhile it got around that pulling weeds was fun and there were more people pulling weeds than ever. Then the leadership had to come up with prizes and stuff.”

Trevor showed up. “You called?”

“Yeah, I’m shit with stitches,” Talia said.

“Yes,” Trevor agreed. “Yes you are.” Talia pulled the tracker out and let out a breath.

“My turn,” Trevor said. “How many of these are we doing?”

“You should bring Wylie and Silas to help us tomorrow,” Talia said.

“That many?”

“All of the initiates and Dauntless members,” Four said.

“Well shit.” Trevor sighed.

“Son of a Bitch!” Talia exclaimed. “It’s mine. It’s the fucking beta. Fuck!” She wanted to hit something again. _Someone. Someone like Jeanine._

“Trevor, hurry up and finish before this gets ugly,” Four whispered.

“She’s done,” Trevor replied. “What time tomorrow?”

“I’ll let you know,” Four said. “Take Beca to medical and let me know when she wakes and if she says anything.”

“You got it.” Trevor wheeled  Beca’s gurney out of the room.

“Trevor.” Talia fought to keep the tears back so she could speak as Trevor reached the door. “Thanks for helping me last night. And I’m sorry for what I said.”

“You’re welcome,” he replied, and left the room.

Four locked the door behind him.  “Talk to me, Talia.”

Talia crumpled to the floor, crying. “This is my beta. God, how could I be so foolish and naive?”

  



	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talia reveals a little of her past. Trigger warning, past rape.

“Damn it, Talia, how could you be so stupid?”

  
“How do you know it’s yours?” he asked.

  
“This nick in the vial. I nicked all of mine so that I would know if I was the one who messed up or not.” Talia began to pace and mutter under her breath. “However, because this was my first, I nicked the vial twice.” Granted it really didn’t matter if it was my mistake or not, I would be the one punished for it.

  
“Hey,” Four said. “Talk to me.”

  
“I made this as an experiment.” Talia said. “My mother was so proud; it was the one time she ever showed me any fondness. She actually told me she was proud of me, can you believe it? She took it and injected into her protege, whom I was seeing at the time, to run a human test. About a week later I was told that it needed to be removed for further alterations. I had to cut into her protege to take it out. He practically told me how to cut into his arm and ‘carefully take out the tracker.’ ‘If you break this your mother will be furious’ he told me. Let me explain how they work. The trackers can be put into two types of vials. One is compatible with the tracker and locks onto the bodies natural rhythm. In a way the vial itself is what keeps the tracker working. The vital data is stored in the vial and sent to Erudite servers. Then there are those that the vial dissolves in the body and the tracker is a microchip that sends the information back to Erudite. That’s why he kept telling me to be careful, but that’s also how I learned about the local anesthetic. The anesthetic also works as an relay inhibitor so no transmission can be made while the tracker is turn off or the area is deadened. After I removed the vial and handed it over to him, I was kept out of any other conversations related to the trackers. I was so naive that I actually believed them.

  
A few nights later he and I had this argument over a genetics test answer that I had gotten wrong. We argued for most of a day before he seemed to come around to my point of view. Then he changed on me. I’m not sure how to explain it, but it was weird. He was acting weird and nice, but then he got angry and told me that if I didn’t do exactly as he said he would go to my mother and inform her about my grade.

  
I had to do what he said, so he forced me to have sex with him. I gave him something that I wasn’t ready to give, but I was too scared not to do what I was told. I was so stupid. I should have known something was up.

  
God, Four, it was the most painful thing I had ever experienced - next to my family beating me, of course. I closed my eyes cause I couldn’t bear to look at him for fear he would get angrier, but at the end I took a chance, hoping that this was something meaningful. I looked in his eyes, and as he was coming I saw the simulation running. I know I wasn’t his first or even second but looking back and knowing he wasn’t doing this as himself has given me a false truth and I’ve never wanted to have sex with anyone since, how would I know if that person was being real or not?.” Tears ran down her face, unstoppable. Four now knew the most intimate detail of her past.

  
Four pulled her into his lap as she continued to cry. He didn’t try to stop her tears. He wanted to take this pain away, but he had a feeling that this memory was driving her to correct the tracking device problem. He was most impressed that she shared this part of her with him.

  
“Can I ask a question?” he inquired.

  
She nodded.

  
“Was your lover an Erudite leader?” Bold, Four, very bold.

  
“Caleb.” She felt Four tense and then relax. “I think had real feelings for him, and considering I wasn’t allowed to have any emotions or feelings at all, I’m surprised I even felt like I liked him.” The tears worsened.

  
“I think I now know why he wanted to fill in the blanks.”

  
“Yeah,” Talia replied, although she felt Four’s body go rigid.

  
“You asked me to trust you, Triage, anything else you need to say? How am I to trust you?” Talia could see he was pissed.  
  
Talia tore her shirt off her body, then her bra. She let Four see her whole back, all her scars in plain sight. “The left side was done by Eric and the right was done by Caleb. When someone you trust beats you bloody an hour after having sex because your mother saw everything through a simulation and thought that you performed badly, it gives you a pretty bad view of relationships. I know now those weren’t healthy relationships, but they’re the only ones I’ve had, though I wouldn’t call Caleb my lover. That was my first and last time having sex. I don’t normally let people get too close or allow them to pressure me into doing things I don’t want to Four.” Something was off with Four and she couldn’t put her finger on it but she was bound and determined to find out.

  
She let him stare longer than she had intended. He placed a gentle hand on her lower back, not touching her scars or her stitches. “I’m sorry.”

  
Then he kissed her Erudite tattoo lightly just below the stitches as he bent down to pick up her shirt and bra. She sniffed and shuddered.

  
Moving up her back, he kissed her scars, watching the tension in her shoulders ease away. One arm wrapped around her waist and the other handed her her clothes. “I refuse to be jealous of Caleb. He’s the worst sort of human.” he whispered. “I hate him for what he did to you. No one deserves to be treated that way. You are much stronger because of this. I want you with me as my partner. Please.”

  
As her anger drained away, Talia suddenly felt physically exposed as well as emotionally. How could she have just ripped off her clothes like that? She covered her breasts with one arm and snatched her shirt and bra out of Four’s hand, struggling into them as fast as she could. Talia had moved away from him. He waited for her to be dressed and moved away to give her some space. When she was clothed again, Four pulled her into his embrace, turning her to face him. “I can’t promise perfect, but I want you by my side no matter what. I want to show you what it’s like to be in a real relationship, and have you help me show my feelings to other people.” All she could do was nod.

  
Then, out of nowhere, she sneezed. “I’m cold.”

  
“Let’s go get you ready for your dinner tonight and your night with Christina.” He took her hand and guided her through the halls and all the way to her home.

  
“I can’t. I need to go to my shop to see if I can analyze the tracker.” Talia turned them towards her shop instead.

  
They both arrived hand in hand much to Trevor’s surprise. “Hey Trevor,” started Four. “Hope we’re not disturbing you.”

  
“Of course not. I'm about done then I'll leave you two alone.”

  
“Nope Trevor,” Talia said grabbing a microscope, some electrodes, and a few other things. “I need you. Your hands are steadier than mine at certain things.”

  
“Very well.” he replied. “Have a seat Four, we could be here awhile.”

  
“Anybody hungry?” Four asked.

  
“I could eat.” Trevor replied.

  
“I'll be back.” Four replied. He kissed Talia on the cheek and left.

  
“T?”

  
“Yes?” Talia answered after she had everything she needed.

  
“Do I need to explain our relationship to Four?”

  
Talia sighed. “I guess.”

  
“I don't want him seeing one thing and thinking another of you catch my drift. Has he seen?”

  
That was one thing between Talia and Trevor, they had their own language. “Yeah he's seen. Took it better than I thought.” Talia stopped and smelled.

  
Four had stopped outside the door with food in hand. “He’s got to understand that you and I aren’t anything.”

  
“Then you tell him. I’m pretty sure Four can figure it out.” It was all Four needed to hear.

  
“Hey, little help?”

  
Trevor rushed to help. “Four there is something I need to tell you.”

  
“I'm listening.” His voice a little gruff.

  
“Talia is like my sister. It weird, but I can sense when she might need me. Like the other night when I showed up to stitch her back. I didn't know what I was walking into but I knew I was needed.”

  
“So give me a rundown.” Four said.

  
“You boys go bond, I'm going to take a look at the tracker. Trev you good?”

  
“Yeah.”

  
“Four?”

  
“I'm good too.” replied Four.

  
Talia began to look at the tracker. “If memory serves me right there's tiny processors all along the glass.” She put in a glove and hoped that this worked. The next few hours Talia’s mind was occupied with the tracker, she could hear Trevor and Four laughing at times, but her mind was working on the details of the task in front of her. She was making notes and drawings on what she was looking at under the microscope. Every now and then she’d stand up, walk around, stretch, and then sit right back down get back to work.

  
The noise began to get on Talia’s nerves. “Do y'all mind keeping it down?”

  
“Talia it isn't us. The initiates are coming back.”

  
“I need to get ready.” Talia stood and stretched. “Trevor, go have some fun.”

 

  
********

 

  
They arrived back at her apartment, and Talia felt like she needed to be strong. “Thanks, Four, I can take it from here.”

  
“No,” he said. “I’m not leaving your side.”

  
“Very well, I need a shower. What you saw earlier on my bac--”

  
“--is a part of you.” he finished. “It doesn’t change anything, Talia. My feelings for you are not going to fade simply because your back and legs are scarred.”

  
Talia sat on her bed, placing her head in her hands.

  
“I don’t want just anyone, Talia.” He knelt down in front of her. “I want someone who’s right for me. I thought it was Tris, but I’ve watched you for so long, and getting to know you has made me wonder why Tris is still on my mind.”

  
“I’m not Tris, Four,” Talia snapped, raising her head.

  
“No, you’re not, and I’m glad.” He took a chance and placed his hands on her legs. Her head was bowed again. He tried to get her to look at him by lifting her chin, but in the end all it took was a simple question. “Please?” he whispered.

  
When she raised her head, Four took his opportunity and kissed her lips. Earlier that day she had kissed him, but they were interrupted; now it was his turn. His tongue grazed her lips, trying to nudge them apart.

  
“Four.” Her heart was beating fast.

  
“Sorry,” he replied as he started to back off.

  
I can do this, “Don’t be,” she said, as she leaned down to kiss him back. His hands went to her waist and their tongues clashed. Her hands went into his hair and he groaned into her mouth. He placed a hand on the bed and slowly pushed her down. Without breaking the kiss she inched her way backwards so that he could cover her body with his.

  
I can do this. I want this. He’s not Caleb.

  
He braced his arms so that he was lying on top of Talia without putting any weight on her. His kiss left her lips but made its way to her neck, then her collar bone.

  
“Four,” she whispered, rolling him onto his back.

  
“I want you,” he mumbled while kissing her lips again. I want this.

  
YES! Please take me. I want you. “Don’t stop.” Her hands went to his hair again and she pulled gently, causing just the slightest bit of pain. He hissed. He nipped her lower lip and her body’s reaction was too overwhelming.

  
“Stop!” she cried, tearing her mouth away. “I can’t. This. This.” Talia rolled off of him . Four moved away giving her a minute to collect herself.

  
“It’s ok, Talia,” he replied sadly, pulling her back to him.

  
“I want this, Four, I really do.” Her body was screaming for his touch.

  
“I can wait” He smiled, kissing her shoulder.

  
“Thank you.” She kissed him again. “I don’t want, whatever we are, to cloud my thinking while I’m doing my assignment.”

  
That he could understand and respect. “ At least tell me one thing?”

  
“Yes?” Her breathing was slowing down.

  
“Do you have any feelings towards me?” He was so serious she almost laughed. She knew deep down what she was doing, but her feelings, as always, scared her.

  
“I’ve liked you from day one.” Well, that was easy. Time now for the rest of truth. She leaned to him. “But I’ve wanted you since the first day you showed us all how to throw a knife.”

  
He laughed.

  
“But I need to get ready for dinner,” Talia finished laughing.

  
“Talia, I’m serious about our day together. Outside of Dauntless headquarters. Just you and me.”

  
“Hmmm,” was all she needed to say. Kissing him again gave them both a promise of later.

 

  
Dinner with Tori that night was perfect. She felt safe enough to tell Tori everything. About her kiss with Four, him staying the night, the trackers. All of it was out in the open.

  
“So keeping to yourself isn’t working anymore?” Tori asked with a smile.

  
“A good friend of mine told me a few years ago that one day I’d feel safe enough within these walls to let a little bit of myself show. I think I’ve shown a little more than I should have, but I’m getting used to it. I think that whatever happens will hurt, as it’s supposed to, and I’ll move on. Since it feels like all the emotions are coming to the surface for the first time without punishment I feel freer. Like I can be who I need to be.”

  
“Talia, have you told the leadership, more importantly Four, how you got your place?”

  
“Not yet.” All the happy feelings zoomed out the door. Trust Tori to bring me back to reality.

  
“You need to,” Tori said. Talia bowed her head. “Look, Talia, you’ve been telling me for years that you want to tell them; now's the perfect time. And with the way Four is towards you, I’m pretty sure he’ll be fine with this. And didn’t you tell me that Tris had three others built along with hers as well? Which begs the question how is it that Tris was able to keep them a secret?”

  
“From what Tris told me a while back, was she wanted them to be a gift to the three of them so they could all get away. Or something like that, but now it’s up to me to tell the three of them about them.”

  
“Tris was a little too secretive for me.” Tori admitted.

  
“Yeah, I guess it’s now a matter of finding the right time to tell them,” Talia said. “I need to go, Tori, I’ve got trackers to remove starting tomorrow, along with who knows what else. I need you to come to the fear landscape room at the end of the week so I can take yours out.”

  
“I’ll be there. But why am I at the end of the week, why not first thing tomorrow?” Tori asked.

  
“Christina wants me to take them out of the initiates and double transfers first. I’ll pull the first one out of bed around five tomorrow morning.”

  
“Ok, go get some sleep.” Tori shoved her lovingly out the door.

  
“Tomorrow I’d like to get a tattoo if you can?”

  
“You know I always make time for you, Talia. Now go and get some sleep. Tell Four to let you sleep.”

  
“Not going to sleep just yet.” Talia beamed. “Christina is taking me to Club D.”

  
Tori hugged her fiercely. “I’m glad. Just have fun.”

  
“I will. Thanks, Tori, I’ll see you later.” Talia walked away with a beaming smile on her face. But her happiness was subdued when she got to the club, only to find that it was closed for the night due to musical malfunction.

  
“I know what else is going to be on my plate this week, ” she said, and headed home.

 

 

 

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

Four stepped out of his shower and threw himself on his bed. He knew that Christina would be by any minute, and he was lucky that he took care of business before she showed up. “This could get awkward really quick,” he told himself aloud while putting on his pajama pants.

The knock came just as he knew it would. “Come in, Chris!”  _ Damn, she’s predictable. _

“You both better be decent,” she said as she walked in.

“It’s just me, Chris,” he admitted, once he noticed that her eyes were shut tight.

“Either it was over too quick or she panicked,” Chris said.

“She panicked.” Four sat up. “I’m not going to pressure her into anything. In fact, jerking off was pretty easy tonight. With Tris, jerking took forever, to the point I never finished. But I can’t get Talia out of my mind.”

“Eww, Four, I didn’t need to know that.” 

“Then don’t ask,” he said, smiling. “You’re like a pesky sister.” 

“Just looking out for you guys. So what’s your plan?”

“I want her so bad that looking at her gets me hard. But I want to give her the distance she needs.”

“Give her the distance and see what happens,” she advised. “But Four, if you really have feelings for her, you will need to let her lead for a while. You’ll both know when she’s ready. Making out is one thing; full blown sex is totally different.”

“No shit, Chris.”

“Just think about what I said. If she’s not ready she’s gonna let you know.”

“Thanks. Now get out and go take care of Will.”

They both just laughed. Christina walked out, and Four lay down to sleep, but his brain gave him no peace. He thought about what happened with Talia, what could happen with Talia, and did he really care for her or did he just want sex? He fell asleep with Talia on his mind.

When Four woke, he walked over to splash water on his face. Looking in the mirror, he told his reflection, “Distance is best. Let her make the first move.”

******

Talia was lying on her floor, she had been crying ever since she got back from Tori’s. The admission to Four about Caleb raping her had finally taken its toll. The knock on her door forced her to stop crying. 

“Talia, open up, it’s Christina.” 

“Ugh” Talia groaned.  _ Not really wanting a visit Christina, but at the same time I don’t want to be alone either. _

“You've been crying. Talk to me, Talia.” Christina said.

“Well, let’s see. Four spent the night the other night, I made out with him this morning, I pulled out Becca’s tracker, tried to analyze it, made out with Four again, and panicked. That’s the short version. And Four is probably put off.”

Christina was laughing so hard she was crying.

“What’s so funny?” Talia snapped.

“You think Four was put off because of a little panic? Oh my god, Talia, he just told me he had the easiest time jerking off because of you. I nearly threw up, but still. Your last relationship must have been rough.”

“You have no idea,” she admitted. “So what’s up, Christina?”

“I was just checking on you.”

“I'm not ok if that's what you want to know, but I'll get over it.” Talia stared into nothing and then it hit. “Wait a minute. Four jerked off because he was thinking about me?”

“Whew! That took long enough.Look, take the lead on this. Making out is one thing but full all out sex is something different.”

“No shit, Christina.”

Christina started laughing again. “Four said the same thing.”

“Christina?”

“I stopped by Four’s ‘cause I wanted to talk. Will’s out cold and I thought you’d be over there. But I told him and I’m telling you. Don’t rush this. Take control, and when you’re ready let it happen.”

“Thanks, Chris.”

*******

Over the next few weeks, Talia, Four, Trevor, Silas, and Wylie worked diligently at removing all the trackers from the initiates and apprentices. Talia lost count of how many she removed, but she knew the next - and much harder - step was getting the Dauntless members to cooperate enough for the procedure.  _ There have to be a few who don’t have a tracker,  _ Talia thought. 

“What’s your plan for removing the rest of Dauntless?” Wylie asked. Talia smiled. Wylie wasn’t exactly the smartest person to come out of Amity. He was great at harvesting food and helping her around the shop. When he stood tall he was at least six foot two and as strong as an ox, but when he spoke he missed words and his listener had to ask him what he meant. Talia, Trevor, and Silas were really the ones who understood him. 

“Huh?” asked Four.

“He wants to know my plan for removing the rest of the trackers from the rest of Dauntless,” Talia explained.

“Yup,” Wylie agreed, trying to sound smart. “What T said.”  

“One day, my friend, we’ll get you to actually pronounce my name,” Talia said with a laugh. 

“Uh, nope.” Wylie laughed back. “Done?”

“Ask Trevor, not me. I open and take out. Trevor patches ‘em up.”

“Yeah, Wylie, this one's done,” Trevor said. Wylie bent down and picked up the first member of Dauntless to volunteer to have the tracker removed: Tori. 

“Four,” Talia said. “You're next. Just give me a few minutes.” She sat down on the floor and closed her gritty eyes; a power nap would do wonders.

“Right,” he responded. “Guys, give us a minute, will you? Go grab some food and tell Christina and Will I'm going under.”

“Uh, yup,” said Wylie. 

“Come on, big guy, I'm starved,” Trevor said to Wylie. Silas followed them out. 

Talia opened her eyes and tensed immediately. It had been weeks since she was last alone with Four, and she wasn’t exactly sure how to act. The past week alone had pushed her beyond limits, limits she hadn’t even known she had, but as a leader in training, she had to prove herself. To be a Dauntless leader required flexibility in your daily life no matter what your original profession was. If a Dauntless member needed help, you stopped and helped.

“Talia,” Four said, moving towards her. “You’ve done an amazing job taking out the trackers.” He held out his hands and helped her up. 

_ Ok.  _ “Thanks,” said Talia, taking off her gloves and washing her hands. “Would it be ok if Chris and I had our girls’ night tonight? I’ve got to get rid of some energy. I also need to find another place to park our tacker-removal clinic. With the initiates getting ready to start going through their fear landscapes, they’ll need this room.”  _ There is no reason to be nervous, Talia, it’s just Four. He’s right here, not unattainable anymore. You can tell him how you feel. _

“Talia.” Four wrapped Talia into his embrace. “Talk to me.” 

“I need a break, Four. I’ve been taking trackers out for weeks now, and I haven’t even gotten to the rest of Dauntless. You’re up, and then Will and Christina. But I’ve got to rest.”

“Look at me.”

Talia turned and faced the man who held her so closely and yet wasn't close enough. 

“You don't need my permission to do anything,” he told her.

She rested her head on his chest and mumbled, “I’ve missed you.”

“Talia?” 

Talia backed away. “I said, I've missed you. Jesus, Four, we've been pulling these damn things out and I haven't seen you except in this damn room. We leave here and I go home and crash without you saying a word to me.” 

“I didn’t think you wanted the distraction,” Four said, looking down. “I thought keeping my distance would be best.”

“Damn it, Four, I don’t want distance, I want you.” Talia pushed him away. She was getting better at admitting things out loud. “What happened a few weeks ago in my room scared the shit out of me, yes, but I wanted it so bad. I panicked. It wasn't your fault. I thought I was ready. 

But you’ve got to stop this emotional roller coaster with me. Either show feelings towards me or don’t, but this one minute holding me close and the next keeping your distance shit has got to stop. I’ve watched you as well, and you show everyone in Dauntless some kind of emotion but me. I’M NOT HER! I’m not going anywhere and I have no plans to do anything stupid without talking to you first. It’s not like you talk to me or anyone else about what you’re doing.”

“I have an idea.” Four said with a sly smile.

“What?”

“Want to go to work out?” 

“Work out,” she echoed in a flat voice.  _ Did he care about what I said at all? _

“Let’s get out of here. We can get rid of the energy you talked about.”

“I need to take your tracker out,” Talia said, shoving away her disappointment.  “Just lay down and I’ll take it out real quick.” She grabbed the scanner and began the process of locating his tracking device. She located it just as Christina, Will, Wylie, and Trevor showed up.

As she hung the scanner on her makeshift stand so she could adjust it whenever she needed to in just in case the monitor showed something else, Four braced himself on his elbows and whispered, “Talia.” It was her undoing; before he could say anything else she bent down and kissed him, neither of them caring who saw. His arms wrapped around her so fast she found herself on top of him on the table. 

“No Club D again tonight, Talia. The person who is supposed to fix it has been busy.” Christina was laughing. “I know you fixed it the other night but it broke again. But I can see you’re busy right now.”

“I’ve missed you, too,” Four whispered in her ear, making her shiver., “I’m trying to give you space, but it’s difficult. I’ll get better.”

Talia just nodded her head. “I don’t want the space. Let’s get back to work.”  _ You should take advantage of this, you idiot. He’s right under you.  _

“Give me a moment, please.” Four kissed her again, and she felt his dick get hard and twitch. 

_ Oh fuck, this is good. I want him.  _

Instead, Four swung his legs and Talia over the side of the table. She straddled him and squeaked. “Don’t drop me.”

“I won’t drop you, ever,” he promised. “But don’t move for a minute.” Talia nodded again. She tightened her arms around Four, inhaling his scent,  _ mint and wind. _

“Do we need to leave?” Christina had to remind them that she and Will were in the room. “We’ve given the initiates the afternoon off, since stage one is complete. And since  _ some _ people need to get their shit together,  _ you two _ , we’ve decided to give them two days free as well.”

“Right,” Talia said. “After I deal with you three I’ll fix Club D ‘cause it’s broken, again.”

“Then you and I are having our night,” Christina reminded her. “Four can have you all to himself later.”

“Ok.” Talia looked at Four, and he nodded. Taking her cue, she climbed off his lap and shook her head to get her brain back where it needed to be.

“Lay down, Four, I need to find the tracker again.” Four did as he was told.  Talia smiled as she maneuvered the scanner, as she remembered what had just happened.

Taking Four’s tracker out was a little harder than she had expected. She had to cut into the muscle to actually get a grip on it. After she had taken it out, she stepped back to make room for Trevor, but he called her back. 

“Talia, I watched you take out the chip, and I'm not crazy, I swear. It  _ was _ fully intact, right?”

“Yeah.” But Talia moved over to Trevor anyway, putting on a new pair of gloves. “Oh, shit!” 

Christina jumped up. “What's wrong?”

“Trevor, scalpel,” Talia snapped.

“Scalpel,” he responded, slapping it into her hand. Talia began to cut more and more tissue, hoping that Four would be able to heal quickly. 

“He’s gonna hate me.” Four started to move. “Shit! The sedative is wearing off.Chris, grab the needle and inject him with a little more sedative so I can take this out.” Christina ran over, and just as the needle pressed Four’s skin, Talia started to pull out a second tracker, one in the intact vial.

“TRAITOR!” Four screamed. Talia was too close to dodge as he sat bolt upright and his hand  closed around her neck, squeezing brutally. Talia’s vision started to fade.

“Trevor,” she wheezed. “Clamp.”

Trevor did as he was told. Talia reached awkwardly into the wound and clamped onto the tracker. She took a risk before she pulled, and looked in his eyes.

The simulation was running. She ripped the tracker out before she could pass out. Four let go and started to wake up.

“Trevor, hand me a vial. I want to look at this one carefully.” Talia said, trying to speak clearly through tears and bruises. “Patch Four up.” She rubbed at her abused throat, turning away from the room.

“What happened?” Four asked groggily. Christina was pulling herself up since Four knocked her down while trying to reach for Talia.

“Doesn’t matter, Four. It’s not the first time I’ve seen it. You’ll be fine.” Her voice grew more clogged and hoarser as the adrenalin began to recede, and she kept her back towards everyone in the room.

She had to get out of here. She opened the door to the sound of thunder and falling rain. She was grateful  for the glass ceiling above, but she took one more look at the room.

“Go,” Wylie said.

“Thanks, big guy. Do me a favor and take care of Four,” Talia said.

“Yup,” Wylie replied.

********

Talia pocketed the vial and set off towards her room. After changing her clothes, she wrote a quick note to Four explaining what happened and her reaction. She knew that Four would share the note with Christina and Will, informing them of her feelings and plans.  _ Share all you want Four. No Day But Today. _

Hoping that the rain would clear her head, she made her way to the ground level. Eight flights of stairs and she began to question what had happened. Were Four’s intentions true or a result of the simulation? Why was he given two trackers instead of one? Two trackers could explain his mood swings. Why didn’t she see the simulation running earlier?  _ Cause I was too busy falling for and kissing him.  _ Reaching the top of the stairs, she looked at the guard. 

“Give this to Four.” She handed him the letter. “And you can either shoot me now or go tell him I’ve left the compound.” Opening the door, Talia stepped out into the pouring rain. She had a job to do and this was the perfect night to do it. She checked the weight of her jacket and set off for the Erudite headquarters.

*******

Trevor stitched Four’s upper arm with a frown on his face. “You’re done, Four, and if there’s nothing else, Wylie and I will leave you guys alone.”

“Trevor, what just happened? Where’s Talia?” Four asked.

“You don’t know what you did?” Christina asked.

“What happened?” Four was insistent.

“You tried choking her,” Trevor growled.

“What?” Four asked again.

“You tried to choke her. She pulled a second tracker from your arm while you had your hand around her throat, while you were choking her out, once the vial was removed, you fell back and relaxed,” Christina said. 

Trevor was obviously in no mood to say anything else to Four. 

“Where is Talia?” Four repeated fearfully. “What happened?”

“It’s raining,” Wylie said.

Four sprinted up to the door leading outside, Will and Christina directly behind him. “Where is she?” he panted. His arm throbbed.

“Triage told me to give you this,” the guard said. “She gave me two options: open the door and let her out or shoot her. I chose to let her go.” 

Four opened the letter and read:

Four,

I told you I wouldn’t do anything without telling you first, but since you’ve tried to choke me I’m not telling you in person but on paper. I made this decision to go back and give Caleb and the rest of Erudite a piece of my mind, since all my efforts thus far have been either in vain or for my own satisfaction. The tracker I pulled out of Beca and the one I just pulled from you are equals and yet different. Beca’s tracker was mine. I made it, and we saw what happened there. The two inside you, (yes, Four, you have been double simmed) were created by me but have my mother’s and Caleb’s tweaks in them. Not sure if your feelings towards me are truth or simulations. The other day when you got angry with me for not telling you about Caleb I began to wonder if maybe the tracker was switched on to change your mood from calm and passionate to violent and angry. When I return I’ll figure it out, but since it’s raining I’m not sure when.

I love the rain. I was hoping to share it with you at least once. I love you, Four, and I’m not sure that can or will ever change. I’ve had to take a step back from the events of earlier, but it doesn’t change how I feel, and I’m smart enough to know that it wasn’t you choking me, or at least not the real you. I’ll return to finish my assignment, but you need to think about us as well. As hard as this has been for me, I’m going to fix it. I know this is not my fault or yours but I’m going to solve this.

All My Love,

Talia

Four ran out into the rain, hoping to catch Talia before she entered the Erudite compound. 

“Four, wait!” Christina yelled. “Let her do this.”

“She thinks this is her fault and it's not,” Four yelled back. “She's been hurt by people who should love her, and the one person who does love her tried to choke her without knowing it.”

“You love her? You love Talia.” Christina asked, almost too far away to hear through the rain. 

“Yes,” Four answered.

*******

The rain was coming down in large drops as Talia walked to the glass doors of the Hub. Pulling both doors open, she walked in and turned left to be greeted by a set of even heavier glass doors. The Erudite man sitting at the front desk pushed his glasses back up on the bridge of his nose and mouthed something, grabbing his pen to jot down a note. 

“I need to speak with Caleb; tell him it’s Talia Matthews,” Talia said, a little hesitant. Memories, no matter how atrocious, were coming back. 

“You and everyone else,” the man replied without looking up. 

_ (Oh, hell, no.)  _ Talia retrieved a knife from inside her jacket and used the point to lift the man’s chin. “Tell Caleb that Talia Matthews needs to speak with him. Or I will take your assignment and shred it.”

That got his attention. “Mr. Prior is an extremely busy man. You’ll have to wait.” 

Talia slammed the blade into the desk. “Call Caleb or I start slitting throats. Again, my name is Talia  _ Matthews. _ Jeanine Matthews is my mother, you Erudite fool. Call him now!” As much as she hated her Mother, sometimes the name had its benefits. Talia turned around, half expecting Four to be behind her, but she found something more useful. A security camera.

“Hello, Caleb. I’m here with a gift for you. Come down here and get it.” Talia spoke directly to the camera and hoped that Caleb would see her.

“Talia?” came a female voice. Talia looked at the woman standing a few feet away from her.

“Raven?” Talia asked back.

“It’s good to see you,” Raven said. “But it’s Simone now.” Simone was holding her arms in a way that worried Talia, like she was hiding something.

“I see.”  _  That was awkward.  _ “I’m here to see Caleb.” 

“I know. I’m here to take you to him.” Simone started walking towards the back wall. Talia grabbed her knife from the desktop and put it back in its pocket. They had grown up together, and Talia had fond memories of the two of them playing “Harvest time.” Simone’s olive skin had faded while she was in the Hub, and since Talia figured Simone rarely left this place, it wasn’t a surprise.

“Dauntless suits you, Talia,” she said.

“Well, since we both have new lives, I also have a new name, it’s Triage.” Talia said.  The look on Simone’s face was funny. Talia laughed, “Don’t worry. The person who gave me this name didn’t know what Triage meant, and the current Head of Dauntless is looking to give me a new one.

“Erudite suits you as well,” Talia went on, complimenting  her friend back.

“Are you happy in Dauntless?”

“Yes. Why?”

“I’m not happy here,” Simone responded. They had walked through a hidden door in the back wall of the main library. Down a long white hall and up three flights of stairs. Exiting the stairwell, they traveled down another white corridor, turned right, took four steps down and took a left. Simone finally let her arms go. 

“Mr. Prior will see you now,” she said, a little too loudly.

“Raven!” Talia whispered. “What can I do?”

“Help me.” That’s when Talia saw the burn scars on her arms.

“I will.” Talia gave her a hug, then walked through the door. 


	12. Chapter 12

Four stepped out of his shower and threw himself on his bed. He knew that Christina would be by any minute, and he was lucky that he took care of business before she showed up. “This could get awkward really quick,” he told himself aloud while putting on his pajama pants.

The knock came just as he knew it would. “Come in, Chris!” _Damn, she’s predictable._

“You both better be decent,” she said as she walked in.

“It’s just me, Chris,” he admitted, once he noticed that her eyes were shut tight.

“Either it was over too quick or she panicked,” Chris said.

“She panicked.” Four sat up. “I’m not going to pressure her into anything. In fact, jerking off was pretty easy tonight. With Tris, jerking took forever, to the point I never finished. But I can’t get Talia out of my mind.”

“Eww, Four, I didn’t need to know that.”

“Then don’t ask,” he said, smiling. “You’re like a pesky sister.”

“Just looking out for you guys. So what’s your plan?”

“I want her so bad that looking at her gets me hard. But I want to give her the distance she needs.”

“Give her the distance and see what happens,” she advised. “But Four, if you really have feelings for her, you will need to let her lead for a while. You’ll both know when she’s ready. Making out is one thing; full blown sex is totally different.”

“No shit, Chris.”

“Just think about what I said. If she’s not ready she’s gonna let you know.”

“Thanks. Now get out and go take care of Will.”

They both just laughed. Christina walked out, and Four lay down to sleep, but his brain gave him no peace. He thought about what happened with Talia, what could happen with Talia, and did he really care for her or did he just want sex? He fell asleep with Talia on his mind.

When Four woke, he walked over to splash water on his face. Looking in the mirror, he told his reflection, “Distance is best. Let her make the first move.”

******

Talia was lying on her floor, she had been crying ever since she got back from Tori’s. The admission to Four about Caleb raping her had finally taken its toll. The knock on her door forced her to stop crying.

“Talia, open up, it’s Christina.”

“Ugh” Talia groaned. _Not really wanting a visit Christina, but at the same time I don’t want to be alone either._

“You've been crying. Talk to me, Talia.” Christina said.

“Well, let’s see. Four spent the night the other night, I made out with him this morning, I pulled out Becca’s tracker, tried to analyze it, made out with Four again, and panicked. That’s the short version. And Four is probably put off.”

Christina was laughing so hard she was crying.

“What’s so funny?” Talia snapped.

“You think Four was put off because of a little panic? Oh my god, Talia, he just told me he had the easiest time jerking off because of you. I nearly threw up, but still. Your last relationship must have been rough.”

“You have no idea,” she admitted. “So what’s up, Christina?”

“I was just checking on you.”

“I'm not ok if that's what you want to know, but I'll get over it.” Talia stared into nothing and then it hit. “Wait a minute. Four jerked off because he was thinking about me?”

“Whew! That took long enough.Look, take the lead on this. Making out is one thing but full all out sex is something different.”

“No shit, Christina.”

Christina started laughing again. “Four said the same thing.”

“Christina?”

“I stopped by Four’s ‘cause I wanted to talk. Will’s out cold and I thought you’d be over there. But I told him and I’m telling you. Don’t rush this. Take control, and when you’re ready let it happen.”

“Thanks, Chris.”

*******

Over the next few weeks, Talia, Four, Trevor, Silas, and Wylie worked diligently at removing all the trackers from the initiates and apprentices. Talia lost count of how many she removed, but she knew the next - and much harder - step was getting the Dauntless members to cooperate enough for the procedure. _There have to be a few who don’t have a tracker,_ Talia thought.

“What’s your plan for removing the rest of Dauntless?” Wylie asked. Talia smiled. Wylie wasn’t exactly the smartest person to come out of Amity. He was great at harvesting food and helping her around the shop. When he stood tall he was at least six foot two and as strong as an ox, but when he spoke he missed words and his listener had to ask him what he meant. Talia, Trevor, and Silas were really the ones who understood him.

“Huh?” asked Four.

“He wants to know my plan for removing the rest of the trackers from the rest of Dauntless,” Talia explained.

“Yup,” Wylie agreed, trying to sound smart. “What T said.”  

“One day, my friend, we’ll get you to actually pronounce my name,” Talia said with a laugh.

“Uh, nope.” Wylie laughed back. “Done?”

“Ask Trevor, not me. I open and take out. Trevor patches ‘em up.”

“Yeah, Wylie, this one's done,” Trevor said. Wylie bent down and picked up the first member of Dauntless to volunteer to have the tracker removed: Tori.

“Four,” Talia said. “You're next. Just give me a few minutes.” She sat down on the floor and closed her gritty eyes; a power nap would do wonders.

“Right,” he responded. “Guys, give us a minute, will you? Go grab some food and tell Christina and Will I'm going under.”

“Uh, yup,” said Wylie.

“Come on, big guy, I'm starved,” Trevor said to Wylie. Silas followed them out.

Talia opened her eyes and tensed immediately. It had been weeks since she was last alone with Four, and she wasn’t exactly sure how to act. The past week alone had pushed her beyond limits, limits she hadn’t even known she had, but as a leader in training, she had to prove herself. To be a Dauntless leader required flexibility in your daily life no matter what your original profession was. If a Dauntless member needed help, you stopped and helped.

“Talia,” Four said, moving towards her. “You’ve done an amazing job taking out the trackers.” He held out his hands and helped her up.

_Ok._ “Thanks,” said Talia, taking off her gloves and washing her hands. “Would it be ok if Chris and I had our girls’ night tonight? I’ve got to get rid of some energy. I also need to find another place to park our tacker-removal clinic. With the initiates getting ready to start going through their fear landscapes, they’ll need this room.” _There is no reason to be nervous, Talia, it’s just Four. He’s right here, not unattainable anymore. You can tell him how you feel._

“Talia.” Four wrapped Talia into his embrace. “Talk to me.”

“I need a break, Four. I’ve been taking trackers out for weeks now, and I haven’t even gotten to the rest of Dauntless. You’re up, and then Will and Christina. But I’ve got to rest.”

“Look at me.”

Talia turned and faced the man who held her so closely and yet wasn't close enough.

“You don't need my permission to do anything,” he told her.

She rested her head on his chest and mumbled, “I’ve missed you.”

“Talia?”

Talia backed away. “I said, I've missed you. Jesus, Four, we've been pulling these damn things out and I haven't seen you except in this damn room. We leave here and I go home and crash without you saying a word to me.”

“I didn’t think you wanted the distraction,” Four said, looking down. “I thought keeping my distance would be best.”

“Damn it, Four, I don’t want distance, I want you.” Talia pushed him away. She was getting better at admitting things out loud. “What happened a few weeks ago in my room scared the shit out of me, yes, but I wanted it so bad. I panicked. It wasn't your fault. I thought I was ready.

But you’ve got to stop this emotional roller coaster with me. Either show feelings towards me or don’t, but this one minute holding me close and the next keeping your distance shit has got to stop. I’ve watched you as well, and you show everyone in Dauntless some kind of emotion but me. I’M NOT HER! I’m not going anywhere and I have no plans to do anything stupid without talking to you first. It’s not like you talk to me or anyone else about what you’re doing.”

“I have an idea.” Four said with a sly smile.

“What?”

“Want to go to work out?”

“Work out,” she echoed in a flat voice. _Did he care about what I said at all?_

“Let’s get out of here. We can get rid of the energy you talked about.”

“I need to take your tracker out,” Talia said, shoving away her disappointment.  “Just lay down and I’ll take it out real quick.” She grabbed the scanner and began the process of locating his tracking device. She located it just as Christina, Will, Wylie, and Trevor showed up.

As she hung the scanner on her makeshift stand so she could adjust it whenever she needed to in just in case the monitor showed something else, Four braced himself on his elbows and whispered, “Talia.” It was her undoing; before he could say anything else she bent down and kissed him, neither of them caring who saw. His arms wrapped around her so fast she found herself on top of him on the table.

“No Club D again tonight, Talia. The person who is supposed to fix it has been busy.” Christina was laughing. “I know you fixed it the other night but it broke again. But I can see you’re busy right now.”

“I’ve missed you, too,” Four whispered in her ear, making her shiver., “I’m trying to give you space, but it’s difficult. I’ll get better.”

Talia just nodded her head. “I don’t want the space. Let’s get back to work.” _You should take advantage of this, you idiot. He’s right under you._

“Give me a moment, please.” Four kissed her again, and she felt his dick get hard and twitch.

_Oh fuck, this is good. I want him._

Instead, Four swung his legs and Talia over the side of the table. She straddled him and squeaked. “Don’t drop me.”

“I won’t drop you, ever,” he promised. “But don’t move for a minute.” Talia nodded again. She tightened her arms around Four, inhaling his scent, _mint and wind._

“Do we need to leave?” Christina had to remind them that she and Will were in the room. “We’ve given the initiates the afternoon off, since stage one is complete. And since _some_ people need to get their shit together, _you two_ , we’ve decided to give them two days free as well.”

“Right,” Talia said. “After I deal with you three I’ll fix Club D ‘cause it’s broken, again.”

“Then you and I are having our night,” Christina reminded her. “Four can have you all to himself later.”

“Ok.” Talia looked at Four, and he nodded. Taking her cue, she climbed off his lap and shook her head to get her brain back where it needed to be.

“Lay down, Four, I need to find the tracker again.” Four did as he was told.  Talia smiled as she maneuvered the scanner, as she remembered what had just happened.

Taking Four’s tracker out was a little harder than she had expected. She had to cut into the muscle to actually get a grip on it. After she had taken it out, she stepped back to make room for Trevor, but he called her back.

“Talia, I watched you take out the chip, and I'm not crazy, I swear. It _was_ fully intact, right?”

“Yeah.” But Talia moved over to Trevor anyway, putting on a new pair of gloves. “Oh, shit!”

Christina jumped up. “What's wrong?”

“Trevor, scalpel,” Talia snapped.

“Scalpel,” he responded, slapping it into her hand. Talia began to cut more and more tissue, hoping that Four would be able to heal quickly.

“He’s gonna hate me.” Four started to move. “Shit! The sedative is wearing off.Chris, grab the needle and inject him with a little more sedative so I can take this out.” Christina ran over, and just as the needle pressed Four’s skin, Talia started to pull out a second tracker, one in the intact vial.

“TRAITOR!” Four screamed. Talia was too close to dodge as he sat bolt upright and his hand  closed around her neck, squeezing brutally. Talia’s vision started to fade.

“Trevor,” she wheezed. “Clamp.”

Trevor did as he was told. Talia reached awkwardly into the wound and clamped onto the tracker. She took a risk before she pulled, and looked in his eyes.

The simulation was running. She ripped the tracker out before she could pass out. Four let go and started to wake up.

“Trevor, hand me a vial. I want to look at this one carefully.” Talia said, trying to speak clearly through tears and bruises. “Patch Four up.” She rubbed at her abused throat, turning away from the room.

“What happened?” Four asked groggily. Christina was pulling herself up since Four knocked her down while trying to reach for Talia.

“Doesn’t matter, Four. It’s not the first time I’ve seen it. You’ll be fine.” Her voice grew more clogged and hoarser as the adrenalin began to recede, and she kept her back towards everyone in the room.

She had to get out of here. She opened the door to the sound of thunder and falling rain. She was grateful  for the glass ceiling above, but she took one more look at the room.

“Go,” Wylie said.

“Thanks, big guy. Do me a favor and take care of Four,” Talia said.

“Yup,” Wylie replied.

********

Talia pocketed the vial and set off towards her room. After changing her clothes, she wrote a quick note to Four explaining what happened and her reaction. She knew that Four would share the note with Christina and Will, informing them of her feelings and plans. _Share all you want Four. No Day But Today._

Hoping that the rain would clear her head, she made her way to the ground level. Eight flights of stairs and she began to question what had happened. Were Four’s intentions true or a result of the simulation? Why was he given two trackers instead of one? Two trackers could explain his mood swings. Why didn’t she see the simulation running earlier? _Cause I was too busy falling for and kissing him._ Reaching the top of the stairs, she looked at the guard.

“Give this to Four.” She handed him the letter. “And you can either shoot me now or go tell him I’ve left the compound.” Opening the door, Talia stepped out into the pouring rain. She had a job to do and this was the perfect night to do it. She checked the weight of her jacket and set off for the Erudite headquarters.

*******

Trevor stitched Four’s upper arm with a frown on his face. “You’re done, Four, and if there’s nothing else, Wylie and I will leave you guys alone.”

“Trevor, what just happened? Where’s Talia?” Four asked.

“You don’t know what you did?” Christina asked.

“What happened?” Four was insistent.

“You tried choking her,” Trevor growled.

“What?” Four asked again.

“You tried to choke her. She pulled a second tracker from your arm while you had your hand around her throat, while you were choking her out, once the vial was removed, you fell back and relaxed,” Christina said.

Trevor was obviously in no mood to say anything else to Four.

“Where is Talia?” Four repeated fearfully. “What happened?”

“It’s raining,” Wylie said.

Four sprinted up to the door leading outside, Will and Christina directly behind him. “Where is she?” he panted. His arm throbbed.

“Triage told me to give you this,” the guard said. “She gave me two options: open the door and let her out or shoot her. I chose to let her go.”

Four opened the letter and read:

Four,

I told you I wouldn’t do anything without telling you first, but since you’ve tried to choke me I’m not telling you in person but on paper. I made this decision to go back and give Caleb and the rest of Erudite a piece of my mind, since all my efforts thus far have been either in vain or for my own satisfaction. The tracker I pulled out of Beca and the one I just pulled from you are equals and yet different. Beca’s tracker was mine. I made it, and we saw what happened there. The two inside you, yes, Four, you have been double simmed) were created by me but have my mother’s and Caleb’s tweaks in them. Not sure if your feelings towards me are truth or simulations. The other day when you got angry with me for not telling you about Caleb I began to wonder if maybe the tracker was switched on to change your mood from calm and passionate to violent and angry. When I return I’ll figure it out, but since it’s raining I’m not sure when.

I love the rain. I was hoping to share it with you at least once. I love you, Four, and I’m not sure that can or will ever change. I’ve had to take a step back from the events of earlier, but it doesn’t change how I feel, and I’m smart enough to know that it wasn’t you choking me, or at least not the real you. I’ll return to finish my assignment, but you need to think about us as well. As hard as this has been for me, I’m going to fix it. I know this is not my fault or yours but I’m going to solve this.

All My Love,

Talia

Four ran out into the rain, hoping to catch Talia before she entered the Erudite compound.

“Four, wait!” Christina yelled. “Let her do this.”

“She thinks this is her fault and it's not,” Four yelled back. “She's been hurt by people who should love her, and the one person who does love her tried to choke her without knowing it.”

“You love her? You love Talia.” Christina asked, almost too far away to hear through the rain.

“Yes,” Four answered.

*******

The rain was coming down in large drops as Talia walked to the glass doors of the Hub. Pulling both doors open, she walked in and turned left to be greeted by a set of even heavier glass doors. The Erudite man sitting at the front desk pushed his glasses back up on the bridge of his nose and mouthed something, grabbing his pen to jot down a note.

“I need to speak with Caleb; tell him it’s Talia Matthews,” Talia said, a little hesitant. Memories, no matter how atrocious, were coming back.

“You and everyone else,” the man replied without looking up.

_(Oh, hell, no.)_ Talia retrieved a knife from inside her jacket and used the point to lift the man’s chin. “Tell Caleb that Talia Matthews needs to speak with him. Or I will take your assignment and shred it.”

That got his attention. “Mr. Prior is an extremely busy man. You’ll have to wait.”

Talia slammed the blade into the desk. “Call Caleb or I start slitting throats. Again, my name is Talia _Matthews._ Jeanine Matthews is my mother, you Erudite fool. Call him now!” As much as she hated her Mother, sometimes the name had its benefits. Talia turned around, half expecting Four to be behind her, but she found something more useful. A security camera.

“Hello, Caleb. I’m here with a gift for you. Come down here and get it.” Talia spoke directly to the camera and hoped that Caleb would see her.

“Talia?” came a female voice. Talia looked at the woman standing a few feet away from her.

“Raven?” Talia asked back.

“It’s good to see you,” Raven said. “But it’s Simone now.” Simone was holding her arms in a way that worried Talia, like she was hiding something.

“I see.” _That was awkward._ “I’m here to see Caleb.”

“I know. I’m here to take you to him.” Simone started walking towards the back wall. Talia grabbed her knife from the desktop and put it back in its pocket. They had grown up together, and Talia had fond memories of the two of them playing “Harvest time.” Simone’s olive skin had faded while she was in the Hub, and since Talia figured Simone rarely left this place, it wasn’t a surprise.

“Dauntless suits you, Talia,” she said.

“Well, since we both have new lives, I also have a new name, it’s Triage.” Talia said.  The look on Simone’s face was funny. Talia laughed, “Don’t worry. The person who gave me this name didn’t know what Triage meant, and the current Head of Dauntless is looking to give me a new one.

“Erudite suits you as well,” Talia went on, complimenting  her friend back.

“Are you happy in Dauntless?”

“Yes. Why?”

“I’m not happy here,” Simone responded. They had walked through a hidden door in the back wall of the main library. Down a long white hall and up three flights of stairs. Exiting the stairwell, they traveled down another white corridor, turned right, took four steps down and took a left. Simone finally let her arms go.

“Mr. Prior will see you now,” she said, a little too loudly.

“Raven!” Talia whispered. “What can I do?”

“Help me.” That’s when Talia saw the burn scars on her arms.

“I will.” Talia gave her a hug, then walked through the door.


	13. Chapter 13

Four was dry and pacing at the bottom of the stairs. “Will, are you able to turn the tracker on? If she’s carrying it we should be able to locate her.”

“Not that I know of.” Will, who was sitting on the last few steps, responded. Four could see worry on his friends face. 

“I could try but I’m not even sure where to begin.”

“Guys, let her do this,” Christina repeated yelling down at them. She sat on the last stair by the landing, a few flights up from Four and Will. 

“Why?” Four snapped.

“Because all she’s doing is taking a tracker back to Erudite. They don’t know which one, and if we’re lucky Caleb will be too busy trying to figure out what we did that it will buy us some time to figure out what he did.” 

“How can you just sit there and be so damn logical with this whole situation?” Four demanded.

“I’m not.” Christina started to shake. “I’m absolutely terrified. However, Talia wrote you that she wouldn’t do anything without telling you, and I know she’s told you that before. For fuck’s sake, Four, you tried to strangle her. Pulling that tracker out saved her life. And since we all agreed that we trust her, we need to let her do this.”

“That wasn’t me!” Four screamed. “Or at least not the real me.”

“We know that and she knows that, but unlike Tris, Talia has every reason to walk up to any Erudite and rip them apart,” Will stated.

“I bet that’s what he wanted.” Four started to pace again. “Talia told me that Caleb was a former lover.”

Christina looked at him angrily.

“It was once and done, Chris.” Four stated, trying  to calm her down. 

“And I’m just supposed to accept that.” 

“It was a one sided relationship,” Christina was still fuming. “That’s what Talia told me.” Four was trying hard to not give anything away. It was Talia’s job to tell Christina and Will her past not his.

“Her feelings for you mean what now?”

“I think when Caleb saw Talia in my arms, he got jealous. When she threw him out, he told me he wanted Talia punished. I bet what just happened was her punishment.”

“Shit,” said Will.

“Her punishment?” Christina wondered.

“I’ve seen her back,” Four started. “We saw her legs the other night, but her back is far worse. Eric use to whip her with a cat o’ nine tails. Caleb used something else, I’m not sure what. Caleb was clearly upset it was Talia who threw him out. He told me he wanted her punished. I told him I’d deal with her. Caleb has extra incentive to want Talia to suffer.”

“Sooo?” Christina asked.

“So to punish Talia, someone turned on the extra tracker in me, and I tried to choke her. I don’t remember what happened after she pulled the tracker out. 

“It doesn’t matter. Talia is probably giving Caleb a piece of her mind at the very least, and we are going to TRUST her to do what she needs to do and then come home.” Christina got up and went up the stairs three at a time, threw the door open, and stepped out right into the storm.

*********

Talia stormed into Caleb’s office. The petrified look on his face was terrific. “Where the fuck do you get off telling me you're bringing me back to this stuck up, horrible, abusive compound?! Why so pale, Caleb? Didn’t think I’d survive?”

“The fuck are you doing here?” He coughed out. 

“I’m bringing you back what’s yours,” Talia said, placing the vial with the tracker in it on his desk. She smiled coldly at his ashen face and shaking hands. She stood in front of his desk with her arms crossed in front in rebellion. 

“I don’t know what this is,” he said flatly.

“Don’t lie to me, Caleb.” She imitated her mother perfectly. “Mother doesn’t like liars.” She watched with a short smile as Caleb turned his head to see if someone else was in the room. She began to walk around his desk. “Bet it sucks for you knowing that one; I’m alive, two; I can’t be controlled, and three; I’m not your little bitch any more. I bet it was difficult to find someone who shares your tastes? But what would matter to you since you can’t do anything on you own. You have to be in a simulation. Who could ever be as good if not better than the daughter of your mentor? So I’m going to make this plain and clear.”

Digging deep down and suppressing the bile that was rising in her throat she sat on Caleb’s desk. She pushed his chair back with her feet just enough to give him the idea that she wanted him, just like he had told her several years ago. “ _ Your mother told how to speak to me correct?  _

_ “Yes.” she was terrified. _

_ “Good then whenever you wish to speak to me you need to ask for permission. I want you to sit on my desk.” Talia did as she was told. Caleb kissed her furiously, when she didn’t respond to his kiss he slapped her. _

Sitting on his desk, “Caleb? May I ask you a question?”  His erection was so pronounced there was no way to hide it and like a viper she struck, one hand went to his throat, the other to his dick and she shoved him to the nearest wall. “I ask for one reason why shouldn’t kill you right now?”

She could tell Caleb was choking back screams. “Have. You. Had. Four. In. The. Rain,” he gasped out. 

“Come near me and/or Dauntless again and you will receive the same fate as my mother. I hear the water in the chasm is frigid; you’ll be dead in seconds.”

“Have. You. Had. Four. In. The. Rain,” he gasped out. She took her hand off his dick as the bile was growing in her mouth.

“None of your business. I never did anything with you in the rain, so why would it matter?” She released his throat.

“Does he know how much you love it when it rains?” Caleb was struggling to breathe, but he still managed to try to twist the knife in Talia’s mind.  _ How the fuck did he know about the rain? _

Talia laughed, and like lighting withdrew a knife from her sleeve and brought it down on Caleb’s collarbone. The snap of bone was all Talia needed, but for good measure she twisted the knife, making sure that the bone would shatter and Caleb couldn’t hurt anyone else for a long time. Turning on her heel, she walked out of the office to the sound of his agonized screams. She pilfered the vial containing the tracker as she went; she wasn’t about to leave it with Caleb. 

Caleb managed to form words, “Get back here, you bitch, and fix this!” 

Talia flipped him off. 

She made her way outside into the cool night air; the rain was still coming down but not as hard as earlier. It took her eyes a few minutes to adjust to the night instead of Erudite headquarters’ blinding white walls, so she walked aimlessly for a short moment, just enjoying the rain. It was hard to calm down, though, when she was so angry and just a bit frightened that Caleb would send someone after her to drag her back. That anger and slight fear pulled a scream out of her to echo in the night air.  Then a shiver went down  her spine when the wind blew in her face, before she caught the smell of orange and cinnamon. “Christina,” Talia whispered.

“Please tell me you’re ok?” Christina said breathlessly, wrapping her into a fierce hug.

“Hey Chris, I’m fine,” Talia replied, hugging her back. She was honestly relieved and grateful that Chris was there.

“Thank God. I heard a scream and I ran towards it. We were all worried about you.”

“Why? I asked y’all to trust me when things got rough.”

“We got worried that Caleb would try to hurt you,” Christina explained.

“Other way around.”

“What do you mean?”

“ I broke his collarbone, flipped him off, and left. Lost one of my best knives, but I’ll make another.” Talia gave an evil smile.

“So he’s now probably trying to figure out which tracker you gave him, right?”

“Nope. Took it back as he was calling me a bitch,” Talia replied, pulling the vial out of her pocket. But all at once she vomited. The bile was too much. She turned her head up to get some rain into her mouth to erase the vomit taste.

Christina hugged her tightly again,  “Let’s get home.” Their walk back was quiet and the rain finally stopped. As they came round to the ground level entrance, Christina turned to face her friend.

“What is it with you and the rain?”

“Whenever Eric beat me while growing up it always seemed to happen during a thunderstorm. I’m not sure if he used the thunder to hide the whipping sound, my screams, or if he was subconsciously helping me. But after he would leave, my back hurt so bad that I would stumble out into the rain and let the water calm my wounds and wash away the blood. So I guess since the abuse has stopped, the rain helps me calm down and wash away residual pain I might have, whether it’s physical pain or mental,” Talia explained.  _ One more truth about me. Will you still accept me, Christina, or do I need to brace for rejection? _

“I like the idea of the rain washing away pain and crap. It pisses me off that you were treated that way, but…” Christina stopped moving. A figure was running towards them in the dark. Christina let go of Talia. They were only a few yards away from the door. 

“I think we need to run,” Christina added quickly.

“Go,” Talia said.

Both girls sprinted in opposite directions. If the figure ran after one, the other could reach Dauntless headquarters and retrieve help for the other if needed. 

Talia had split left and kept running for a few more blocks. Turning down what looked like an alley, she sprinted to the next street. Squinting as best she could in the dark, she caught a glimpse of what could be a fire escape. She jumped and grabbed the first rung she could reach. The ladder was slick, and she lost her footing a few times, but she kept going. She had to get to a better vantage point to see if Christina needed her help or if she could identify the person who was running at them. 

She reached a landing and took a moment to catch her breath. Looking up, she saw she had at least six more flights til she was on the roof. She scrambled  the whole way. Reaching the roof, she was able to see that Christina must have had the same idea, because Christina ran across the roof she was on,and took a leap, and landed on a roof two buildings away. Talia ran to the edge of her building, took a running leap of her own, and landed on the building next to Christina. Christina did the same from her side, and they met quickly in the middle.

“Who the fuck was that?” Christina asked in a whisper, in case there were more people around or the person after them was close by.

“No idea,” replied Talia. She bent over, trying to catch her breath. 

“Heard a rumor you have a kick ass sense of smell. Can you smell them?” Christina asked.

“Ha ha. Not from this high up. I’d have to be on the ground within a few feet of them to really tell who they were. I only have a few people’s smells memorized.”

“Think it’s safe to go home?” Christina asked.

“Not sure.” Talia made every effort to be silent walking to the edge to peer over to see if she could see the person who was running after them. 

Looking over the edge, Talia saw nothing. She looked over each side and no one was there either. She walked back to Christina, who was sitting down. “Chris? What's wrong?”

“We need to get back. Are you up for looking to see if I have a tracking device inside me?” Christina asked with a shiver. 

“Of course. Let’s get back and I'll take care of it. How good are you with knives?”

“What's that supposed to mean?” Talia could see that her question rattled Christina a bit. 

“You're a hell of a shot, Chris, but how is your aim with a blade?  I don't want to give you a knife or two thinking your aim is fantastic and then wind up with a knife in my back or arm.”

“Ah.” She got it. “I'm better at short distances or up close and personal. I can't throw from yards away.” 

“I'm going to give you three knives. One goes in each pocket in your pants. The other you hold at all times until we are safe inside Dauntless HQ. We stay by each other’s side. No matter what until we’re back home.”

“Damn, Talia, how many knives do you have?” Christina watched as Talia pulled three knives, one from each sleeve of her jacket and one from an inside pocket.

“Eight in the lining of my jacket, four in each sleeve. That’s just my jacket. If I'm wearing the right pants there's at least two in there and two in my shoes.”

“Shit.”

“Tris carried more,” Talia said offhandedly. 

“She what?”

“Christina, you said it yourself. Tris trained me to be prepared for anything. She was the only other person besides Tori, up till now, who I trusted.”

“You've got to share that with me.”

“I will,” Talia promised. The two of them made it safely back to Dauntless HQ, but were stopped at the door by a new guard on duty. 

“Don’t move or I’ll shoot,” He said with his gun raised. “I was told that no one comes inside.”

“Who gave said orders?” Christina asked.

“Peter,” he replied after a slight hesitation.

“Well, that’s funny, since last I checked he’s still in medical,” Talia remarked. “And there is never supposed to be a guard outside. So I’ll ask again. Who gave you the orders to stand outside and guard this door?”

The wind blew just enough that Talia caught the pungent smell of roses with a hint of cedar. She grabbed Christina’s arm in a panic. “Don’t move.”

“Hello, Christina. Talia.” Jeanine Matthews came out from the shadows.

_ SHIT!  _ “Hello, mother,” Talia answered. She could feel Christina tense, so she and took hold of her hand.

“Chris, relax,” Talia whispered.

“You’ve been busy, Talia,” Jeanine said as she started to circle the two of them. Talia kept her eyes on her, turning her head to keep her mother in sight. 

“It’s Triage,” Talia replied. “And for someone who never once cared about me you sure are paying a great deal of attention to me now.”

Jeanine grabbed Talia’s hair and yanked hard. “Now, you listen to me, you little bitch. I am your mother and you will do as I say. You will be coming with me back home where you belong, and you will obey me from now on.”

Involuntary tears welled up in Talia’s eyes. Her grip on Christina’s hand tightened, but her voice was strong and sure.  “Let go.”

“What was that?” Jeanine asked, pulling harder.

“I said, let go,” Talia repeated. Ignoring the pain in her neck, head, and shoulders, she pulled her head back up and looked her mother directly in the eyes. “Let go. Pretty sure you saw what I did to Caleb, and I have no problem doing the same to you.”

“All talk, as usual,” Jeanine said, laughing, but she did in fact let go of Talia’s hair. “That’s one thing I despise, Talia: a liar.”

“It’s Triage! And I wasn’t lying.” Talia let go of Christina’s hand, and in the blink of an eye threw two knives at the guard and one at her mother. One landed in the guard’s chest, killing him almost instantly. The other landed in his stomach. Christina ran towards the door and screamed for help. 

The one knife aimed at Talia’s mother missed completely. And true to form, she turned the stone palm down, and slapped Talia across the face, cutting her cheek again. Talia fell to the ground, her vision spotty. 

“You’re losing your ferocity, Mother,” Talia taunted, trying to stall until her vision could return. 

Jeanine was coming forward to kick Talia in the back when the door burst open, and she froze. Talia took her moment. She pulled a knife from the back of her jacket and cut into her mother’s calf, whirled, slammed the knife into her thigh,  twisted, and dragged it up. Talia knew that she had damaged the muscle. 

Four, Christina, and Will stood back a little and just watched. “You stopped being my mother the day I CHOSE Dauntless. Faction before blood.” Talia ripped the knife from Jeanine’s legs, turned her back, and walked into Dauntless.


	14. Girls Night

Talia stood in front of her bathroom mirror, running her hand over the scab on her face. It brought back the memory of the incident with her mother a few days ago, the fear still sharp enough to make her shake. That night, when she was safe at home, she had climbed into her shower fully clothed and cried so hard even she couldn’t  tell the difference between her tears and the water. Christina had come to her that night and sat in the shower with her until Four showed up, and he dried her off and carried her to bed. She wanted to remember her friends’ care and support, but at the same time she wanted to forget that that night had ever happened. She was terrified of her mother. But admitting that openly was just as scary.

“What's wrong?” Four asked, coming up behind her and kissing her neck. Her body relaxed into his as it always did.

“Was thinking about something stupid,” she said as she turned into him.

“The other night?”

Talia just nodded. “Tonight's a big step for me, and once again that woman screws up every good thing.”

“Tonight is for you.” He kissed her again. “You and Chris will have lots of fun and the thoughts of your mother will go away, at least for a while.” That eased her mind. “What else is bothering you?”

“I've never had a girls night,” Talia admitted.

“If you feel uncomfortable doing anything, just tell Christina no. She'll understand.”

There was a knock on the door and Four kissed Talia once more, then went to open it.

“Hey, Four,“ Christina said as she walked in. “Will is waiting for you.”

“Right.”  Kissing Talia one more time, he left the girls to have their night.

“Chris.” Talia's hands were shaking with nervousness.

Christina just gave her a hug. “Look, Talia, there's nothing to be afraid of. I don't have a hidden agenda -- well, that's not exactly true. I want to get you a new tattoo. I talked with Tori today, and I think it's time you got the Dauntless flames or Amity Tree.”

“Really?!” Talia got excited. _This is great. I have permission. I hope this works with my Phoenix idea._

“Is there anything you want to do? Anything at all?” Chris smiled.

“Well, I really want a hair cut. I mean it gets in my way, and frankly it would really piss off a few people. After the other night, I think it’s time. So would that be ok?”

“You don't need mine or anyone's permission to do anything,” Christina said.

“Ok.” Talia grabbed her jacket.

“Talia,” Christina said, glancing at the jacket she grabbed, “grab your _other_ jacket, please. I know you carry about a dozen knives in that one, and personally, I don't want you carrying all that weight. We’re going out for some fun; you don’t need to be so heavily armed.”

Talia laughed. “Habit.” But she took the jacket off anyway. She went to grab another one, but changed her mind at the last minute. She had a knife in her pants pocket and one in her boot, so she felt a little more at ease about being without her jacket.

“You ready?” Christina asked.

“Yeah,” Talia sighed. She took one last look in her mirror and stood up straighter. “Yeah, I’m ready.”

They left Talia’s apartment, but Chris stopped short before they reached the bridge. “Talia?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s in the other alcove across from your apartment?” Chris asked.

_Oh boy. Will she be mad?_ “There’s actually three other apartments like mine.”

“What do you mean? Wait, are you seriously telling me that there are three other apartments  just like yours back here?” Christina's eyes lit with excitement.

“I guess you want to know the backstory?”

“Duh,” Christina said. “How come I never knew about these?”

“Let’s get some food and go back to my place, and I can explain it better. I can show you the rooms if you want.”

“I like that idea, but let’s do it after we get you that haircut and the new tattoo,” Christina said. They walked to the cafeteria, and Talia decided to be bold.

“Chris, I know we’ve only been friends for a short time, but I only know you as a Dauntless leader. Are you going to tell me anything about yourself?” Talia asked.

“That’s what tonight is about. We’re gonna eat, drink, get to know each other, get you a new tattoo and haircut. Maybe we’ll go to Club D and have some fun, and then who knows,” Christina answered with a smile on her face.

They arrived at the cafeteria and Cooke made a beeline for Talia. “Were you able to fix that oven, Triage? You’ve had it for about a week now.”

“Sorry, Cooke. It’s nothing but scrap. I can try and build you another one, but that one is dead,” Talia replied.

“Ok.” Cooke walked back to a heating cabinet. “Here’s your order, Christina. Enjoy, girls. I did put some bacon sandwiches and more cake in there for you. And thanks for giving me a heads up about this, Christina.”

“Thanks, Cooke,” Christina called as they walked out of the cafeteria.

“So what’s first?” Talia asked.

“Hair or tat?” Christina said.

“Hair,” Talia decided. They walked to Talia’s apartment to put the food down, and like two little girls raced to the hair salon.

 

Two hours later, Talia and Christina walked into Tori’s shop. Talia couldn’t hide her smile. She finally felt comfortable in her own skin, like she was accepted by everyone.

Tori looked up, as always, to see who entered, and did a double take when she saw Talia. “Triage!” she yelled, running at Talia. “Ohmygod!” She slammed into Talia, giving her the biggest hug Talia had had in a long time. Four’s hugs were great, but Talia thought of Tori as a mother figure and her hugs were best.

“Look at you,” Tori said, walking around to get a better look. “Purple tips? It looks good on you.”

“Thanks, Tori,” Talia replied. “I like it and it’s refreshing. It’s something different.”

“You bet it is,” said Christina.

“Triage! Think you could fix one of my lamps while you’re here?” one of the other tattoo artists called from across the room. “It’s on the fritz.”

Both Tori and Christina said, “NO!”

“Does _anyone_ let you have a night off?” Christina asked.

Talia just shrugged. “I’ve never had a night off, so to speak, so I guess they don’t realize when I’m not working or just here to chat with Tori. Tori, I want the Amity Tree, please,” Talia said.

“You bet,” Tori said with a smile. “I love the hair, I can’t get over it.”

“Tori, I’m paying for the tattoo,” Christina said. Talia’s mouth dropped open.

“It’s a five credit job,” Tori said.

“OK,” Christina said, handing over the payment plus a little extra.

“Thanks.” Talia said. “I can get it, it’s ok.”

“Sit down or lay down.” Christina ordered with a smile. “This is on me so you have to deal.” They laughed.

Talia lay down, ready for the pain. The pain of getting a tattoo was  different, this was her choice, and she had two people who cared right here. As Tori started prepping the area where she was going to place the tattoo, Talia looked at Christina, who was smiling brightly.

“Ok, Talia, here we go,” Tori said.

“Yep.” Talia squeezed her eyes shut, but there was no pain.

“You're done, dear,” Tori said a while later.

“Wait, what?” Talia asked. “How?”

“I talked Trevor into making the infuser less painful, and your apprentice is really learning ‘cause he added a color application to it as well,” Tori  told her.

“Well, that explains why he was acting like a shit the other day.” Talia smiled. “He was walking around the shop all smug.”

“I know you don't like pain because of what it reminds you of, so he and I worked on a way to make getting you a tattoo as painless as possible. I tested it on two others who have a low pain tolerance, and they loved it. Said they couldn’t feel a thing.”

“Thanks, Tori. I guess I owe him now,” Talia said.

“Maybe.” Tori smirked. “You ready to see it?”

Talia took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Yeah.”

Tori led her to the wall mirror, where Talia again took a deep breath and let it out. Taking the handheld mirror from Christina, she angled it to show her back, and her eyes widened. Not only did Tori give her the Amity Tree rising out of the ashes, but sitting on the ashes was a baby bird.

“Is that -?” Talia choked.

“It’s the baby phoenix,” Tori said with pride. “In orange, just like your drawing. And the tree is green like you wanted.”

“The colors are so vibrant.” Talia exclaimed.

“That would be Trevor's contribution. He wanted the colors to last longer than our standard ink so you don't have to have as many touch ups.”

“Oh Tori.” Talia threw herself into Tori’s arms.

“I told you, you are loved,” Tori whispered.

Talia sniffed. “Thank you.”

“Now, I understand you two have plans tonight. So go, before Four or anybody else you know walks in my shop and tries to distract you,” Tori ordered.

“Come on!” Christina exclaimed, dragging Talia out of the shop. She linked their arms together and the two friends made their way back to Talia’s apartment.

 

 

“So spill it, girl,” Christina said, wiping her hands.

“Candor much?” Talia quipped. “What all do you want to know?” She reached for a slice of cake.

“Well, let’s see. I know already that you were born stuck up, raised a free spirit, and chose to be a Warrior, so what else is there?”

Talia laughed. “That’s one way to put it.”

“So talk. We’ve got all night,” Christina said.

“I came into Dauntless afraid of everything,” Talia began, after a moment of thought.  “Tris took me under her wing and gave me hope that I could be more than just a double transfer. When I learned she was also divergent I tried to find a way to tell her. After my attack she came to check on me, and I told her then. From that night till she left, she was one of only two people I trusted. I told her everything my mother and brother had done to me, what Caleb had done to me, and how sorry I was for helping to build the simulation program that killed her parents. I didn’t have any secrets from her.”

“Talia, what happened while you were in Erudite?”

Talia had to take a minute. Grabbing another bite of cake, she thought about what version she wanted to give Christina before she continued. _Oh boy._

“You can trust me,” Christina reassured her.

“Lots of things happened to me while I was there. I was never allowed to make my own choices. Mother had complete control, no matter what anyone outside says. Even the governing body didn’t really know the control she had. But at the same time I had to play the good daughter. God, Christina, I’m not sure I can beat around the bush with this one.”

“That bad?”

“Worse. Chris, I was beaten and raped, and I couldn’t tell anyone. My mother ruled Erudite with an iron fist. She hates everyone. I can give you a short rundown and then explain more later.” Talia wasn’t quite sure she was ready to let Christina in so deep just yet. _She doesn’t need to know everything all at once. But if you can’t talk to her, does that mean you don’t trust her?_

She stood up and took her shirt off. “This is what was done to me while I was in Erudite and even while I was in Amity. Eric did the left side, and Caleb did the other. Mother never could stomach beating me.” Christina hissed. “Chris, I’m better about showing this, I swear. It’s hard, but I’m getting better. As for Caleb, that bastard raped me and thought he could keep me. I chose Dauntless a week after the rape.”

Talia watched Christina’s eyes as she processed all the information. “And the apartment?” _Ok, subject change_. Talia put her shirt back on, but before she could speak Christina grabbed her into a hug. A few minutes passed before Christina released Talia and asked for the explanation.

“The apartment we’re in now is one of four that were built on Tris’s orders for those in Leadership. There’s apartments for you, for Will,  for Four. If you choose to have an assistant we can have them live with the rest of Dauntless or have apartments built for them. Each one is as big as mine. Tris gave me hers, as she wanted me to be her assistant upon her return from the Erudite compound, but she never came home.” Talia cleared her throat hoping to keep her emotions in check. “I have a feeling she knew she wasn’t coming back.

“Each apartment is also connected to the one next to it via a camouflaged door. So this one was hers, and Four’s would have been next to it, so any time they wanted to be together all she had to do was walk a few yards and tap on his door. Nobody would be the wiser. There’s supposed to be a door here.” Talia pointed to the empty space between her reading area and her living room. “That way each person has privacy. There’s even a bathroom in the assistant's quarters.”

“Hang on a minute,” Christina said, throwing up her hands. “There’s a secret door in this room that leads to another space just like this one a few yards away?”

“Yeah.” Talia was starting to wonder if she'd done the right thing. “Tris told me she believed that the Dauntless leaders needed to have their own places to “escape” to if they needed time alone. That being said, she also agreed with me that Dauntless leaders needed to be housed among the rest of Dauntless for the most part.”

“So in other words, she felt that the leadership could best serve Dauntless if they lived among its members, but were able to take breaks when they needed to. Makes sense. But why didn't she tell me?” Christina asked.

“My guess is she thought you three already knew.”

“Show me the others.” Talia was taken aback by Christina’s tone.

“Christina, please don't be mad. I didn't know that she hadn't said anything. I figured y'all knew about this and just left me alone.”

“I’m not mad, Talia, I’m hurt. Tris was the closest friend I had, and she never told me anything about this. She did talk about you, and it made me jealous for a time.” Christina shivered. “Sorry. The more I get to know you the more your friendship means to me. And as for what you said earlier about Caleb raping you, I’ll help you throw him into the chasm too.”

“Come on. Let me show you the next room.” Talia escorted Christina through her closet to the hidden door in the back.

“Hang on a minute. I want to see your other room before we explore; may I?” Christina asked.

“Ok. Go ahead and walk in.”

“This would have been your room, correct?”

“It would have been, yes. Tris already had it set up for me before she left,” Talia answered.

“Oh, wow!” Christina gasped. “You really are Erudite. You have books everywhere.”

“As I told Four, I don’t read for knowledge, unless I’m fixing things and need to learn something. I read for escape.”

“Where would you sleep?”

“I would sleep on the chaise,” Talia replied. “Pull out the book that says Holy Bible. There’s a bookmark in one of the pages.”

Christina pulled out the Bible and opened it to the page that was marked. A letter fell out. There was a verse on the page highlighted in bright yellow:“Greater love has no man than he who would lay down his life for a friend. John 15:13.” Christina bent down to pick up the letter. “This is what’s written on your wall.”

“Yep.”

“It’s beautiful,” Chris said as she set the letter down on the couch.

“Sit down and you read it, Chris,” Talia said.

“Read it?” Christina sat down on the couch. Talia picked up the letter and handed it to Christina.

“Are you sure?”

“Read it,” Talia repeated.

Christina read aloud,

“Phoenix,” Christina started.

“Don’t.” replied Talia. “Don’t read it out loud.” _Not sure I could allow myself the tears._

Talia watched as Christina read and reread the letter several times. Tears streamed down Christina’s face, and Talia shivered. Every sound from the other room or other end of the couch made her jump. _Is there a reason to be nervous? She’s crying, which is to be expected. What would Will say? Oh shit what will Four say? I need to move._ Talia started pacing, swaying, twisting her body. Anything to keep herself occupied while Christina read the letter a few more times.

Christina wiped her face. Talia sat down on the other end of the couch, waiting for Christina to finish reading. It had been a few months since Talia had read the letter, and hearing the name Phoenix come out of Christina’s mouth reminded her of why Tris had given it to her. All the abuse that had been inflicted on her by her mother was over. She was the Phoenix rising from the ashes. Talia was dead to Tris, and Phoenix was the one who had stood by her side.

Christina sniffed. “Did you know how heavy this night would be?”

“I had a feeling,” Talia answered with her head bowed. “Was hoping that it would pass. Chris, she meant it.”

“I know,” Christina said. “Just wish she could’ve told me.”

“Don’t we all. She only called me Phoenix a handful of times, and then she left and I got this place.” Talia stood up. “Come on, let me show you the other rooms and you can decide where to go from there.”

“Right.” Christina stood, and the two of them made their way to Talia’s closet. Talia pushed open the door hidden in there. She found the light switch, and once the light was on they made their way to the room next door. Talia opened the other door, and they walked into the other closet.

“After you.” Talia motioned for Christina to go on in.

The lights came on automatically. Christina stopped in the middle of the room and sank to the floor. Talia watched as Christina screamed, cried, pounded her fists on the floor, and called Tris every derogatory name Talia knew and a few she didn’t. When Christina wound down Talia was still there. There was no way her conscience would allow her to just leave.

“Talia. Thank you for this.” Christina sniffed.

“Wasn’t me. Tris wanted you guys here. I was just supposed to be in the other room.”

“Where do you want me?” Christina asked.

“Chris, that’s not my choice.” Christina ran towards Talia, who braced herself for whatever Chris was going to do. But Christina hugged her, and she found herself hugging back.

“Thank you.” Christina started crying again. “I never felt comfortable grieving for Tris. Always had this idea that since I was a leader I wasn’t supposed to show grief.”

“And yet, Four moped around for months,” Talia joked. Both girls burst out laughing, even if the laughter was a little watery.

“But I do have one question for you,” Christina said, leading Talia back to her room.

“Go on,” Talia answered.

“When you left for the Erudite compound, you wrote him a letter telling him your plan. Is it true?”

“Yes,” Talia replied.

“Then answer me this, Talia,” Christina demanded. “Do you love Four?”

“Yes,” Talia answered.

Christina put her hands on her hips. “Truth or Dare?”

“Oh no! Seriously?” Talia whined.

“Truth or Dare,” Christina repeated.

“Dare,” Talia sighed. _Just ask, Chris, I have a feeling what you’re going to dare me to do._

“When we see him tonight I dare you to show your feelings for Four in front of me.”

“Challenge accepted,” Talia responded, putting her hands on her hips, doing her best impression of Christina.  

They both left Talia’s apartment, only to walk six feet across to what would soon be Christina's. Pulling the key from the top of the door frame and unlocking the door, Talia ushered Christina inside before shutting the door. She turned the light on, and Christina looked shocked.

“I told you it was identical to mine. But the second room has the door so that whomever you choose can sleep in that room waiting for you to give orders.” Talia repeated her   Christina impression, hoping to cheer the other girl up. Maybe get their night back on a happier footing

“Talia, this is incredible,” Christina squealed. Talia couldn't help but get excited as well. “Instead of traipsing all over the place looking for you, I can just cross the hall and ‘BAM.’ I'm right at your door.”

“Yep.”

“Phoenix,” Christina whispered as if trying it out. “How long have you waited to tell me this?”

“It's been three years since Tris left, so that long,” Talia admitted.

“Come on. Let's go get my stuff. I wanna be across the hall from my best friend as quickly as I can. At least it came with a bed.”

_She's still carrying the letter._ “Chris, how much stuff do you have?” Talia asked as they made their way to Christina and Will’s apartment.

“Plenty,” Christina replied with a laugh. “Enough that the boys will help and we can still chat. Let's make a grand entrance, shall we?”

“But of course,” Talia said in a high and mighty voice.

They raised their legs and kicked the door in. They found both Will and Four sitting at a table playing cards, although they had both jerked upright and focused on the door as it banged open. They looked relieved to see the two girls come in.

“Well, I just found out three interesting things about Triage here. Would you boys like to hear?” Christina said, slapping Talia on the back. This slap added a shove in Four’s direction.

“I'm going, I'm going.” Talia walked towards Four. Sighing loudly, she pulled Four's chair away from the table. Then she straddled him, feeling his instant erection against her.

“Talia, wh--”

Talia kissed him, silencing anything he could have said.  She licked his lips until they opened and she was rewarded with the feeling of his tongue on hers. Four wrapped his arms around her while she raked her hands down his chest. He moaned, and in turn Talia moaned as well.

“Ok you two. You can come up for air now,” Christina sighed. “You win, Talia. I know that sound. You win, damn it!”

Talia broke the kiss and rested her head against Four's. “I love you.”

“I love you,” Four answered. “Do I want to know?” His shock made Talia smile.

“Christina read a letter that Tris wrote me before she left. I think both you and Will should read it,” Talia said, slowly getting out of Four's lap.

“And the kiss?” Four asked, pulling her back.

“That was part dare and part I really wanted to,” Talia responded as she leaned down again. She didn't care that Chris and Will were there. She was kissing Four again.

Four's fingers grazed her back, and he stopped the kiss. Putting both hands on her hips, he turned Talia around and saw her hair. He even found her new tattoo. “New tattoo and new hair style?”

“Yeah.” Talia was once again self-conscious.

Four pulled her closer. “I like it.”  He combed his fingers through her hair. “Your tattoo is beautiful. And I really like the color choice for your hair.”

“Four!” snapped Will. “You need to read this.”

Rolling his eyes, Four took the letter. Talia got up and walked to Christina, who placed her hand on Talia’s shoulder.

“Phoenix?” Four asked, looking at Talia.

“Yes,” replied Talia, a little uncertain if he could accept it.

“I think it fits,” Four said. “Tris was always good at picking good people.”

“Come on, Four, we need to move,” Christina whined.

“Let's go see these rooms,” he said with a bite. Talia looked at him, wanting a smile, but Four looked dejected and maybe a little angry. _Great job, Talia. Now he's going to reject you, all because you had to go and show him Tris’ letter._

They all left Christina's place with Talia bringing up the rear. Christina was telling the boys about each room and trying to explain to Four about the letter. They all arrived, and Will was excited about the rooms and the passages between them . He kept pulling Talia from one room to the next. Four looked lost. Like he was in a foreign land without a map.

Four hung his head, rereading the letter.

“You ok, Four?” Christina asked.

“Tris’ letter. Do you think she meant any of it? About how she really loved me but was too worried about Jeanine finding her secret?”

“Don't know. But I can tell you that Talia deserves the name Phoenix.” Christina was determined to get Four to loosen up. “Tobias.”

He looked at Christina. “You haven't called me that in forever.”

“Think about this.” Christina was on a roll. “You loved Tris. You love Talia. And as your pesky and obnoxious “little” sister, I can tell you without a doubt that Talia isn't showing her emotions just because. If you love her the way she loves you, then you need to figure this out.”

“But Tris.”

“Screw Tris!” Christina yelled. Will and Talia stopped looking around and came back into the room. “She left!  She fucking left us! Talia showed me the other rooms next to hers,and I yelled and screamed and had my fit. Go fucking have yours and get the fuck over it!”

Talia walked out. She wasn’t sure what was going on, but she’d heard enough.  She needed to leave.

“Don't you dare play with Talia. She loves you, you idiot.”

“Don't you think I know that? This letter just messed with my head. How the hell can you be so calm about it?” Four asked.

“I told you. I had my fit already. And Talia never left my side.” Christina was adamant about giving Four a piece of her mind. “Damnit, Tobias! She's had only two people who ever listened to her, and one of them is dead! Her own mother killed that friend, and the other is Tori. She has me, and yet I threw my own fit instead of letting her talk to me. I told you once that I'm not letting her go, and frankly, Mighty Four, I'll challenge you myself on Challenge Day just to beat some sense into you if I have to.”

“Four, I'll be honest with you,” Will interjected. “I saw Talia stand toe to toe with an initiate and then you under a simulation, and each time she kept a cool head and did her job. They came into my apartment and I watched her straddle you and kiss you without a care in the world. She felt comfortable enough to show how she felt about you, and then we come here and you go rigid.”

“So what am I supposed to do?” Four questioned. “She's not going to give me a second look now.”

“I'm moving my stuff in here. You go do whatever, but find her and at least apologize,” Christina said. “Groveling would be even better.”

“Where is she?” Will asked, looking around to bring a calmer tone to the room.

“While we were squabbling -- more like while I was yelling,” Christina started, “Phoenix left us alone. She's probably in her shop and getting back into her element.”

“The car,” Four whispered.

“Y'all do whatever. I'm getting more stuff,” Christina said, and left.

“I've really messed this up, Will,” Four admitted.

“Yes you have, my friend,” Will agreed. “Go fix it.”

 

Talia entered her shop, grabbed the nearest hammer, and threw it across the shop as hard as she could. “Damn it, Four!” She picked up a few more objects: knives, screwdrivers, hammers, and threw them as well. _Tris really kept people out of things. I never knew that Christina wasn’t aware of the apartments. Didn’t think she’d throw a fit but it probably needed to happen. Now if only Four would have his fit and maybe we can move on and past all the bullshit. If only._

Talia put on her welding shirt, gloves, and her pink bandana, and started working on the car frame. However, she got tired of the silence, so she grabbed her music stick and headphones and moved on to work on something else. By the time she was calm from the events of the night, she was swaying and tapping her feet to the music.

Four walked slowly to the pit. He knew that, like most shops in Dauntless, Talia's shop was in the farthest corner. The side door was open and he could hear noise coming from inside. He wasn't sure what he was listening to, and his curiosity got the best of him. He walked in and closed the door quietly behind him. Talia stood over a square frame that could be only be the front of the oven she’d taken from the kitchen. She was in her black pants, a bright orange shirt, and had a pink bandana keeping her newly cut and dyed hair out of her face. He could see the light from her welding iron. He knew she was in her zone. But the thing that really caught his eye was that Talia was swaying her hips and tapping her feet. From behind, she looked happy enough to dance.

Talia turned her torch off and started to breathe fresh air. He saw when she caught his scent.

_Damn._

“Four,” Talia said without turning around.

“Hi,” He answered. Talia started taking her leathers off. “I've fucked up again.”

“Depends on how you look at it,” Talia said. She kept her back to him until she put everything back where it belonged. Facing him finally, she crossed her arms. “No, no it doesn’t. You’re right, Four, you've fucked up. I wanted to share tomorrow with you, and frankly now I want to kick your ass.”


	15. Interlude 2

“Feeling better?” Will asked as Christina threw some of her belongings into the closet. 

“You can either help me or leave me alone. To answer your question: No, I don't feel better,” Christina answered. 

“Obnoxious pesky little sister? You couldn't come up with anything better?”

“Shut up!” Christina threw a shoe and walked out, headed for the Pit. But like Four a couple of weeks ago, she found herself at the Wall of Flames instead. Finding Tris’s nameplate was easy. Finding the words a little harder. Will sat back in the shadows and watched.

“You left. You never said you'd come back but I hoped. YOU FUCKING LEFT!”  Anybody other than Will who might have been around vacated the area quickly. 

“You just had to go and play hero. Did you somehow think that we wouldn't help you?  You  _ had _ to go alone and let that woman pick you apart and kill you. And you leave Four to run a faction and all he does is mope around missing you. He loves Talia, Triage, Phoenix --  whatever the hell her name is, and yet one word about you and he fucking loses his shit cause he can't get past it. Sure, he told you he had to move on, but he sure the fuck hasn't. Talia loves him and she's never been allowed to do anything.

“Damnit, Tris, she's my best friend, and I even fucked tonight up because of your letter to her. Why didn't you tell us about the apartments across the chasm? Huh? Why couldn't you just break up with Four like a normal person so his guilt wouldn't plague his every move with Talia? Hell, why didn't you tell  _ me _ what your plan was for Talia? You could've at least told me that, I would have helped. I had to pry every fucking thing out of you, and you never did tell me much anyway. Talia’s braver than you; she’s fighting a battle by herself, and yet every day she lets me in a little bit more. Honestly, Tris, I don't care if you have to show up in one of Four's dreams to tell him to move on, or if Talia just needs to kick his ass, but until something happens Four might never get over you. And that means he’ll lose any chance with Talia. She won’t wait around forever.”

Christina watched to see if Tris would somehow just waltz up and tell her to chill out.  _ Stop being ridiculous, Christina, you know she’s dead and she’s never coming back.  _ “Love you, Tris, but you seriously screwed this up. I’m going to fix it.” Christina pulled herself together and left to go find Talia and apologize for messing their night up.

Will stepped back into the shadows as Christina finally grieved over Tris. He waited as Christina walked by looking for Talia. When he felt comfortable enough he walked up to Tris’s nameplate, placed his hand over her name, and cried. “We miss you.”


	16. Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for some ass kicking and truth.

“You want to challenge me?” Four asked.  _ She’s never challenged anybody.   _

“Did I stutter?” Talia bit back. “Last time I checked the rules were clear. I can challenge anyone in Dauntless with the exception of the initiates. You, Christina, and Will have the right to refuse a challenge, but not the rest of us.”

Four winced when he looked at Talia standing there, resolute.

“Is this what you truly want?” 

“Honestly, my feelings for you haven't changed, but I have every right to be infuriated with you. And yes, dammit, I want my challenge and I want it now.”

“I will not accept your challenge here. So pick another venue.” He crossed his arms and tried to remain calm. His mind raced. Why was this happening?. He hadn’t done anything wrong, had he? But a challenge from her wasn’t to be ignored.

“Training room,” Talia replied. “Hand to hand combat only. No weapons or shoes. Now.”

_ This isn’t’ going to end well for one of us.  _ Four took one last look at Talia, but instead saw Tris. He closed his eyes tightly hoping that he was seeing things. When he opened his eyes he saw Tris and relief flooded his body. Yet for all the relief he felt he felt anger as well.  _ After all these years she chooses now to show up? _

“Tris?” he whispered. 

Tris threw her hands up in the air. “Grr,” he heard her say. 

The two left the shop and made their way to the training room. As they entered, Four heard the murmuring of those who had followed them. He made a mental note to ask how people found out about Tris’s challenge;  since Challenge Day was several days away this was unprecedented. Then he saw Christina and knew the answer to that question.

_ It’s Tris, but her crows tattoo is missing. How the hell is this possible?  _ Four walked to the mat and waited for Tris to join him. In a moment she stood before him. He had never figured out her fighting style, but stood with arms at the ready as Christina, who was overseeing the match, stood between them. 

“I challenge you, Four,” Tris said. “Do you accept?” Four stared at his opponent. If Tris loved him as she said she did, she wouldn’t be able to throw a punch, only block. 

“Yes.” His response was flat.  _ Can she forgive me?  _

“Rules are simple, first one down till five loses. If you both go down the first one up wins. I remind both of you that this is unheard of,” Christina reminded them.“Four, do you understand the rules?” she asked.

“Yes,” he answered. He looked at her. “Tris, do you understand?”  _ Am I really doing the right thing? There’s someone else who wants to love me, right? _

“Tris?” Christina repeated. “Oh fuck.” She shook her head in dismay. 

“Yeah.” But Tris dropped her hands.  _ She loves me, but she still needs to understand that this isn’t just for me to show her how I feel, but for her to settle her anger at me. _

Christina gave them both a worried look, then shrugged. “GO!” she yelled. 

Four launched into a barrage of punches and short jabs. Tris blocked almost all of them, and her return jabs were more forceful than he remembered. He brought a swift kick around to the back of her calves, landing her on her back. Winded, he gave her a chance to get up. Christina started the count.

“One!”

Tris got back up. Four looked hard at her.  _ She cut her hair.  _

He shuffled towards her, readying his next strike. “You left me.” He spun, landing a kick to her neck. 

Tris spun around and hit the mat hard. She got back up dazed, but fell forward into a roll and punched Four directly in the groin. He fell forward clutching his balls.

“I’m not her,” she said. Four looked at Tris as her fist came into contact with his face.

“You left me,” He said again, rolling away. He began to stand. “Forgive me for loving someone else.” 

“I’m not her,” Tris repeated. She was now throwing punches switched to a more aggressive offense.  _ She’s not her? What is she talking about?  _ His mind started to clear as he looked at the woman standing in front of him. 

Four looked around as the crowd thinned until a few stragglers were left along with Christina, Will, and Tori.  As Tris backed up, Four’s mind finally cleared. He shook his head to clear his mind that last little bit..  _ Talia. Oh shit!  _

*******

Talia delivered a roundhouse kick to the head that dropped him to the mat, out cold, screaming, “I’m not her!”

“One. Two. Three,” Christina said. Turning to the remaining people Christina said, “Oh, forget it. Take him to medical.” 

Those who had remained picked him up and took him to medical.

“You ok, Talia?” Christina asked. 

Talia grabbed a drink from Tori. “I'm fine,” she said, shrugging her friend off.

“You and I need to talk,” Christina said.

“Whatever.” Talia really wasn’t in the mood. “I want to check on Four first.”

“He can wait,” Christina said. “I need to app…”

“Oh, stuff it, Chris. I’m going to see him. Follow or not; I don’t care. I’m nothing like Tris when it comes to people I care about.”

“We’ll talk on the way.”

“Sure,” Talia said wearily. Both of them arrived in medical and walked to the doctor on duty, who waved them over to Four’s bed.

“Triage,” Doc said.

“Doc.” 

“You did a hell of a job. I was told you held back until you kicked him.”

“Yeah.” Talia smiled as she touched Four’s forehead. “Was hoping to knock some sense into him.”

*****

Four opened his eyes to a bleached white room. A dark figure with long blonde hair and three crows on her left collarbone stood over him. “Tris?”

“You really are an ass, Four.” 

“You look beautiful.” He was still dazed.

“Four, look at me.” Tris was clearly furious.

“I’m looking. Your hair grew fast, and it’s not purple.”

“My hair was never purple. Now, let’s talk about Phoenix.” 

“Talia,” Four said. He looked at Tris and realized what had just happened.

“She loves you and you tell me you have to move on and yet you don’t.”

“I was moving on until that damn letter,” Four said, getting angry. 

******

Talia placed her hand on his arm and felt his body tense.  “What are you thinking about?”  she murmured. Her eyes fell on the bruise on his cheek where her fist connected. Her heart sank knowing that she was the cause of his injuries, but  _ he deserved them.  _ “I’m not Tris.” she whispered. “Please see me.”

“Talia, I think he's dreaming,” Christina said. 

“No shit,” Talia snapped, then scrubbed her hands over her face. “Chris, I’m sorry,” she coughed. “Four pissed me off and I took it out on you. I’m sorry.”

“No worries,” Christina replied. 

*****

Four looked around again. “Where am I?”

“This would be what I call limbo. Not heaven, not hell. “

“Why did you leave? Why did you leave me?”

“I didn't just leave you, Four. I left Christina and Will, I left my family, I left Dauntless.” Tris took a seat on what could be a cloud. He wasn't sure. 

“Your letter to Talia said you left because Jeanine wanted to see how the mind of a divergent worked. But you never explained why. I mean why did Jeanine want to know how your mind worked? Where you really willing to go?” Four started to yell. “You left me without a word!” 

“Is that what this is about? Tobias? I chose Dauntless ‘cause I was tired of being told what to do and how to act. What I did for Dauntless was probably the most selfless thing I'd ever done in my entire life. When I trained Talia, I saw myself. She was stronger than I, physically, but emotionally and mentally she was younger. I placed her with Tori after a night of watching her draw a Phoenix on a rock with nothing but a small stick burned into a point. When I asked her about it she remained silent until I gave her permission to speak. When I told her she could always talk to me about anything, she told me that she wasn't raised Erudite. I told her about Caleb being my brother, and she told me about what Caleb had done. It took her months after being accepted by Tori to even speak to me again. She's divergent, like me, so she can manipulate any serum and simulation she wants. Go with her through her fear landscape. Make sure she does it twice. Each time will be different.” 

Tris sighed. “I loved you, Tobias, but I'm dead. You can't bring me back. Talia is there in the flesh loving you no matter how much of an ass you are. Hell, Christina is even trying to fix things. I did what I did because I felt I had to. She won't do anything stupid without telling you. I can promise you that.”

“How do you know?” 

“I asked her not to,” Tris answered. “Talia cares so much that she promised me  _ before I left _ to tell you everything she was going to do; it’s her biggest flaw. She’ll tell you everything because she’s scared of punishment. I'm guessing you have several letters from her on your desk that you haven’t even opened. Don't you?”

He just nodded.

“If you read them you'll see what I'm talking about.”

“How do I fix this, Tris?”

“Before I took my final test, you told me that you couldn’t show me any favoritism, and then when I was first in the class you came over to give me a hug. I kissed you instead.”

“I remember,” he replied. 

“Do something like that if you have to. Or better yet, just tell her you're sorry. You might have to repeat yourself a lot. But she's right, you've got to show her some feeling, and show Dauntless that you are its leader and Talia is who you want by your side, whether it's as an assistant, a lover, or both. Who cares either way, besides you and Talia? Please let me go, Four.”

“Mourning you is more challenging than I thought,” Four said. 

“You and Will need to figure it out, cause watching Chris yell at my headstone was perfect. Ask her to tell you about it.”

“Tris, I need to go wake up,” Four said, suddenly knowing how he was going to do this. 

“That's on you. But make this right. Love her wholly. Not like I loved you. Give her all of you.”

“Thanks.” Four relaxed as his dream faded away. 

Talia was curled up next to him, asleep. Chris was sitting in a chair in the corner, asleep as well. He moved slowly, hoping that Talia would stay asleep. When she didn't move he sat up, almost regretting it; his head was spinning and his stomach was churning. He saw the bruise on her neck and wanted to vomit.

“Don’t leave me. I was the ass,” Four whispered in her ear. 

“Hmmmm,” she replied. “Yes, you were.” Her eyes fluttered open and she looked him in the eyes with worry etched on her face.  _ I’m sorry.  _ She kissed him gently. “We still need to get you over this whole Tris thing. I will not compete with her memory.”

“No, I think I’ve had the biggest ass kicking of my life. I’m over it,” Four said, kissing her back. “My head is pounding. I want to go to home.”

“Nope. You can’t be by yourself with that concussion I gave you. I told Doc you’re staying with me until you’re ready to move into your new place. So we’ll get you settled there, and then Christina wants to talk to me about something. I kinda told her to stuff it when I came to see you.” Talia took his hand and held on tight.

“Go take care of Christina. I'm not going anywhere. I’m staying here till you come back or my world stops spinning,” Four said with another kiss. 

“OK.” Talia got off his bed and nudged Christina. Her hand never left his. Four could feel her shaking and knew she was scared. 

“Talia?” he asked.

“Hmm?” Her eyes were wide.  _ What am I afraid of? A broken heart. _

Four pulled her hard to him. “I deserved what I got. Don’t be scared. My feelings for you haven’t changed either.” 

“He's up, Chris,” Talia said, kicking Christina gently for good measure, but never faced her friend.

“Thank god.” Chris stretched and stood up. “We made a big mess, Four.”

“Yeah, we did. Talia, for my part, I'm sorry. I thought I had let Tris go, but it took you kicking some sense into me to realize I was wrong. She was a good friend whom I loved, but I've got you now.” Four took her hand and brought to his lips. 

“I had my own little temper tantrum too,” Christina said. “I kinda yelled at Tris’s headstone.”

But Talia had closed off her emotions for this moment. All the angst sat heavily on her heart. It was time to release some energy. “You two can sit here and mope and argue about who did what, but I'm out of here.”

She walked out of medical and headed to her shop. 

*****

Four looked at Christina. “How bad was it?”

“I didn't like it, but I had a feeling that this was coming, and I knew she wanted to knock some sense into you. You kept calling her Tris. But I ruined our night by asking her about her apartment. I pounded my fists on the ground and had my own my fit. Everything became all about Tris. Not the fun I had planned.”

“But you didn't get challenged.”

“Four, she stayed with me the entire time. I told you already. She loves you too damn much to not want to help you. But you've pushed her aside far too many times. I need to fix my mistake too, but you need to make some  _ serious _ amends.”

“I'll make it right. I promise.”

“I’m not the one you need to make promises to. I'm going to find her. Again.” Christina left Four to his thoughts. 

*****

Talia started in her shop, but she was too agitated to stay focused. She grabbed her headphones, music stick, and workout gloves. This would be one hell of a workout.  _ I’m not leaving until my entire body hurts. _

Talia entered the training room, and lucky for her there was not a soul in sight. She found the full bodied dummy she wanted to beat up on and started her stretches so she could work out. Tightening her gloves, she began her slow strikes at the dummy. Each jab and body shot helped bring her rage forward, finally. 

She began to bounce on the balls of her feet, allowing her energy to flow through a flurry of punches and kicks. Slowing down long enough to reach for her music stick, she put an old song called Sabotage on as loud as she could handle and unleashed every ounce of rage she had.  _ Don’t tell me you love me, want to know me, and then keep forgetting who I am. Don't make me a leader in training without showing me anything.  _ Talia let it all go.  _ Don't try and protect me in front of some but not others. Show me some fucking emotion, of course maybe I need to show some too. But still.  A little respect wouldn’t hurt either. Don't show me how you’re feeling only when no one else is around. Damn it, Four, I love you too much but something's gotta give.  _ She was once again on a good stride when she smelled orange and cinnamon, but she continued her workout, knowing that her body could only take so much more.  _ One more strike and then I’m done. _ She spun right, grabbed the two hundred pound dummy, and flipped it. 

“Chris,” she said, removing her headphones.  _ Thank God. I need a friend right now.  _ Christina walked up and hugged her. 

“Sorry, Talia. I was a horrible friend tonight. You asked me to trust you no matter how hard things got, and I failed you.”

Talia pulled out of  the hug and began to catch her breath. Chris did fail her, and now was the perfect time to express everything she’s been feeling about all of them lately. “I was under the impression that y’all knew about all of this. The other apartments weren’t complete when I moved in, but I wasn’t aware of the letter until I saw the book on the shelf. It’s been months since I read the letter. Christina, it took me at least a solid month before I was settled with Tris’ death. You never showed any emotion about it, so I thought you were past it as well. I was wrong.”

“I think we both weren’t expecting tonight to be so heavy,” Christina said. “I do like your hair.”

Talia laughed shakily. “Chris, I need help.”

“Of course. What’s up?”

“Help me get home. I over did it.” Talia smiled.

Relief flooded Christina’s face. “Come on,” Christina said, grabbing Talia’s music stick and her gloves before wrapping an arm around her waist to help her get home. “You’re gonna regret this workout in the morning.”

“Probably.”

“Why did you decide training right now was the best thing?”

“I thought it would be best if Four didn't see me for a while. If he still thinks I'm Tris, no matter how much he tells me he loves me or he’s over it I can’t trust it. I needed to get away for a little while.”  _ Damn, all these emotions hurt.  _ “Chris? How is he?”

“He’s fine,” Christina answered. “What are you not telling me?”

“My heart aches. Not like a medical issue but it hurts knowing that I caused his pain,” Talia answered.

“He deserved it,” Christina said. “And that ache you feel is because although you say you love him, you are finally admitting to yourself that you are in love with him. But I think you also hurt because he called you Tris tonight.”

“Well.” Talia stopped moving. “I need to go back and see him.”

“No, you don’t. Let him rest. You need rest. I ruined this night first and you need to heal from whatever you’ve done. Trust me when I say you’re going to hurt in the morning. I’m going to get you to bed and then I’ll be back in the morning to help you move.” 

“Thanks,” Talia said as tears slid down her face.

“I've never had a sister.” Christina said, “So I've decided you’re it.”

“Thanks, Chris.” Talia was truly struggling. Her body ached all over from her workout and her heart felt heavy. They had to stop several times just so Talia could compose herself. Her tears were falling freely.

They had arrived at the bridge when Christina yelled, “WILL!”

Will exited Chris’s apartment. “What happened? She was OK after the fight!”

“Help us over here!” Christina yelled. “She overdid it.”

Will ran to meet them. “Talia, grab my neck.”

Talia wrapped her arms around Will’s neck and groaned as he picked her up. “I hurt.”

“Easy, Talia, almost there,” Will soothed. “Where's the key?”

“Back pocket,” she answered. 

“Got it,” Chris said. She opened the door and Will carried Talia to her bed. “Think you can manage to not move. I’m going to get some hot towels to help your muscles relax.”

“Uh huh.” Talia rolled over and fell asleep immediately. 

Blinding white light shone in Talia’s face. Her eyes were adjusting, but she smelled lemon and linen.  _ Tris. _ This was impossible, Tris was dead.

“Hey, Phoenix.” The voice was behind her. She inhaled once more just to verify what she was smelling. Sure enough: lemon and linen.

“Tris?” Talia said, facing her mentor. “How is this possible? You’re dead.”

“Well, at least you remembered me. Four thought I was you until he looked at my hair,” Tris said with a bite. “Is that why you cut it? So he could tell the difference?”

Talia shrugged. “Really it was to piss my mother and Caleb off. They can’t grab what I don’t have.”  _ She’s pissed that Four thought I was her? _

“My asshole brother,” Tris whispered. “You look a little beat up, Phoenix. Why?”

“You know, until they read your letter, you were the only one who called me that,” Talia replied bitterly.

“It’s who you are now. I didn’t give you the name until after your fear landscape. And when I saw what you were really afraid of I knew in my heart that you had overcome some serious shit. It didn’t matter which landscape you went in it always ending with blood on the walls and you mother in the room.” 

Talia was baffled. “You were there for my fear landscape?”

“As a Dauntless leader, yes, I was there. But I was also there cause I told Four that I had to watch him to make sure he didn’t do anything stupid. He was in love with you then.”

“He was? But you…”

“Was loving him as a friend. I was too selfish to think about anything but how to protect you and Dauntless. My biggest mistake was not letting those I cared most about in. So now I have a few questions for you before I tell you what I told Four.”

“You talked to him?”

“Of course. It took me yelling at him that I was dead before he finally saw me as me and not you. Don't worry, he'll be fine. You, on the other hand, are going to have a rough few days. Why did you kill your body like that?”

“Too much pent up energy,” Talia answered. 

“You know, if you would just yell on occasion that can help too.”

“Yeah, and freak everyone out in the process. I don't show emotion like that.”

“I'm aware.” But Tris continued, “That's the bigger question, isn’t it? Why don't you show emotion?”

“I wasn’t allowed.” Talia gave her standard response. 

“How ‘bout the truth, Phoenix.”

“In truth, it kept me safe. If I didn’t scream, cry out, or look like I was in pain Eric, or even Caleb would stop the beating. If I made the slightest noise the beating would continue. If I stayed behind no one could ask my opinion or a question that could potentially embarrass Caleb or Mother. I didn’t want to let people in, because if they found out who I really was, I would be shamed, ignored, or kicked out of wherever I was. So I stayed emotionless and in the shadows. 

“I was judged in Amity because I wasn’t born in Amity. I was judged in Erudite because I wasn’t raised Erudite. No one will admit that because of my “loving” mother, but I know when I’m being judged. I came to Dauntless of my own free will, and no one asked who my parents were or why I even chose Dauntless. All they saw was the blue suit I wore that day and how well I did in training. I never got close to anyone because I wasn't sure if I could trust them. Hell, it took me two years to say much to Tori, and she still doesn't know everything. I'm tired, Tris. I'm tired of wondering who I can and can't trust. I've been let down by so many people it's almost like I’ll only be safe if I just stay away or stay in the shadows.” 

“OK.” Tris sat down on her cloud chair. “I called Four an ass. I'm calling you an idiot. You've got Chris, and trust me, once you both let everything go your conversations will be fifty times better and easier. Will, will do what he can to keep you safe. Four does love you and I know for a fact you love him.”

“Very much so.”

“So take down some of your damn walls and let them in. You will fight. But show me one couple or one friendship that doesn't fight. Take them through your fear landscape. You say, to yourself, that you have to prove your worth. I got news for you, Phoenix, Chris and Will already know your worth. Chris wants to know you and be your friend. Let Will be your brother. Let him fight for and with you. After all, that’s what brothers do.”

“And Four?” Talia asked. “He's not exactly over you yet, and I can't and won't compete with you.”

“Tobias loves you more than he ever loved me. He and I never really worked outside of Dauntless. Inside these walls we were perfect. But whenever we were outside, like when we visited Amity...”

“I remember, you were never together,” said Talia.

Tris stood from her cloud, walked to Talia. “Do you really love him, Phoenix?”

“Yes.” she answered. “Why do you and everyone else keep asking me that?”

“Just making sure,” Tris replied.

“Yes, I love him, I wish people would believe me,” Talia snapped.

“Good, then as I said, love him completely.” Tris was smiling. “Tell him you love him, let him grieve for me, but let him in. Bring him closer to you and share your whole story with him. He should know. As should Chris and Will.”

“Tris?” 

“Yeah?”

“Why me?” Talia never questioned Tris until now.

“Because.” Tris sat back down and smiled. “I believe you can change Dauntless. Make it like it used to be. And bring the factions closer together. I also believe that you can deal with your mother and my shit of a brother without leaving others behind. Please, Phoenix, bring them all in.”

“I promise.”

“Now, I think you should wake up.”

Talia woke up, and she was back in her room, but she wasn’t alone. Orange and cinnamon, cinnamon and vanilla, and yes, he was there too; mint and wind.

“Morning, you,” said Four gently. His scent was closest.

“Morning,” she replied sitting up.

Christina didn’t even wait for her to sit up completely before she tackled her back down in a fierce hug.  _ Ooof.  _  “Don’t ever do that again. Neither Four nor I have left you since the other morning.”

“Chris, what are you talking about? Four, should you be out of bed with that concussion?”

“It was minor,” Four said with a shrug.

Her friends looked at each other. “Talia, you’ve been asleep for three days,” Will told her gently.

“Three days?” Talia demanded

“Yeah,” Christina said, still holding her. “I was afraid you had really hurt yourself. When you didn't wake up the next morning I grabbed Four from medical, and Will and we never left your side.”

“How come I don't hurt?”

“Chris was able to keep your muscles loose while you were asleep. Was a little weird to see but it had to be done,” replied Four. 

“Damn. Three days.” Talia tried to release herself from Christina's grip. “Chris.”

Christina was crying. “I'm so sorry. I started this and it got blown out of proportion.”

“Hey, Chris.” Talia hugged her harder. “It's OK. Friends, you and me, we’re gonna argue. We're gonna fight. It happens. Especially if you chose me as a sister.”

Christina chuckled.

“You sound like Tris,” Four began but stopped with a flinch.

“I dreamed she and I were having a conversation. And that's what she told me.” Talia let them know about her dream, and that if all of them were prepared to move on then she'd move right along with them. “I can't promise that I won't shut down my emotions, but I'll try not to unless you and/or I feel like it's warranted.”

Christina finally let go of Talia. “I can agree to that.”

“Me too,” said Will. 

“Me too,” agreed Four. 

“So who brought cake?” Talia asked. Everybody laughed.


	17. Flags and Fears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fears brought to life and a little fun.

The next few weeks were a blur of Talia and Christina laughing and getting to know each other. Their conversations were becoming freer and it was evident they were starting to finish each other’s sentences. 

“Well, if you think about it....” Christina would start.

“But I’m not sure we’d have time to test it,” Talia would finish.

“Stop doing that!” Will shivered. “It’s weird.”

“Get over it,” they’d say.

“You’re outnumbered, man,” Four would say, slapping him on the back.

Will was helping Talia gather everyone who still needed to be scanned and have their trackers removed. She and Four worked out every day. She became quicker both mentally and physically, and even started sharing her ideas to make Dauntless better. She  made time, with her friends’ help, to inspect and analyze all the trackers. 

But there was still one thing she needed to do. She finally believed that her friends trusted her, but did she trust them? Trust was difficult, given everything she’d been through, but she couldn’t trust them half way. It was all or nothing. None of them had given her reason to doubt their trust, and now it was her turn.

“No matter which fear landscape we see, I’m not bailing,” Christina said emphatically, and gave Talia a hug. 

“You don’t have to do this, Talia,” Four said. 

“I think I do. You need to see,” Talia replied.  _ I have to trust you. I have to get past all this shit.  _

Will hooked each of them up to the simulation. As he placed the electrodes on Talia’s wrist to monitor her already-racing pulse,and her head so that everyone could see, he calmly mentioned, “Just like Christina, I’m not bailing, no matter what I see.”

To everyone’s surprise, her heart rate slowed. “I think I’m ready.”  _ I have to trust _ .

Will injected her with the fear serum and the world faded away.

The night swallowed her. All she could see was the half moon.  She smelled fresh bread. Cruel laughter filled the air as faceless beings turned toward her. It grew louder and louder until her ears rang. 

_ Fear of punishment. _

“Dang it, T. You’d think you could at least try and stay out of trouble,.” said Mr. B. “Every time I turn around, you and Trevor are throwing things at each other.”

“But sir, I didn’t throw anything and neither did Trevor,” Talia protested, in a much-younger voice.

“You will be punished regardless,” Mr. B. said. “Harvest time till everyone is in bed; then you will be punished again for being out of bed at dark.”

Talia became calm as her heart slowed, and she just stared at him. “Overkill, don’t you think?” 

Then the other voices started. “You really think you belong in Amity? You have nowhere to go. Erudite didn't want you, and frankly, neither do we.”

_ Fear of rejection. _

Before Talia could react to the simulation she was back in Dauntless. Only this time, she stood before Will, Christina, and Four. Their eyes were hidden and they were circling her like predators. “We took  _ her _ ?”

“Look at her, she’s going to be worthless.”

“Who would ever love you?”

_ This isn’t right _ .  _ They wouldn’t reject me like this after the last few weeks.  _ But there they were, her friends were rejecting her! “I knew you couldn’t handle me,” she shouted, then felt a hand touch her shoulder. 

Whirling around, she looked at Christina, whose eyes were visible and kind.“It’s just a simulation, Talia.”

Talia concentrated on slowing her heart. This wasn’t her altered landscape. This was the real deal, and that scared her more than anything.  _ I hope they can handle this.  _

The room faded to black again. Then she was standing in a hallway, listening for her pursuer.  She heard the whip and looked around wildly. Her tears blocked her vision, and she felt the sudden weight in her right hand. Blinking, she saw the gun, and then her brother running towards her with his cat o’ nine tails.

_ Fear of abuse.  _

She slowed her heart rate, raising the gun to fire at Eric’s head. “Never again, you son of a bitch,” she snarled. She pulled the trigger, and he vanished.

The fire roared. Talia coughed as she felt it lick her calves. Screams flooded her ears, but she couldn’t tell who was screaming. It might even be her.

“This is too much,” a female voice said. “Take her out.” 

Talia inhaled orange and cinnamon.  _ Christina?  _ Talia screamed in agony as the flames crawled up her legs. 

_ Fear of fire. _

She tried to run away, but found herself tied to a post. Her hands were trapped behind her back and smoke filled her lungs. She remembered what would happen next; the white hot pokers were coming. She screamed and screamed, screamed uncontrollably. Screamed until her voice started to give out and until she heard a trusted and beloved voice. 

“It’s just a simulation. You can fight it,” someone told her. 

As she slowed her heart rate again, she found herself in what should be a solid white room, but blood splattered the walls.  _ This is new. This should be a white room where mother comes in, yells, and hits me.  _

“Four, this is too much,” Talia heard Christina say. “We need to take her out.”

“No,” he responded. “She would think we rejected her because of this. I’m not bailing either,” Four said. 

“Fear of Her,” Talia moaned out loud as Jeanine Matthews came into everyone’s view.

“So this is what it’s like after you realize you’ve failed.” Jeanine stared at her child. “Maybe next time you won't give such a flippant response to a question.”

“This is so weird,” Will whispered.

“You know how much I hate you, Talia, don’t you? You never do anything I say, you fail me every day.” Jeanine raised her hand to strike,  but Four stepped in to take the blow. 

Talia sank to the floor crying, “I’ll do it over, Mother. I swear I’ll be better.” 

Serum Jeanine punched and kicked Four until there was nothing but the original room where they all started out. Talia threw herself on the floor, shaking, and Christina and Will tried to coax her into a sitting position.

Four went and blocked the door so Talia couldn’t run. Christina was now rubbing Talia’s back, trying to soothe her as she sobbed. Will was looking at the recording again. Talia stopped crying abruptly, jerked out of Christina’s hug, and ran for the door. 

“Don’t touch me!” she yelled as one of them reached for her.

“Your biggest fear is being vulnerable, isn't it?” Four asked. Moving slowly, he took her hand and raised it to his lips. “I’m not him.”

Talia couldn't say a word. She nodded and her heart slowed. This time the simulation really ended. 

This was one time Talia was unable to tell if the simulation was over or not. 

“Talia,” said Four. “Hey, look at me.” He was too calm.

Talia looked into Four’s eyes and let the tears fall.  _ Trust. I have to trust them _ . Christina came up from behind and wrapped her into a hug. Four moved to her front and wrapped his arms around Talia without touching Christina, showing Talia he was concentrating only on her. Will enveloped Christina to completely smother Talia in love. There was no doubt in her mind that these people were truly her friends and truly loved her and trusted her. But she was held in place and her mind told her she was trapped. Her body went rigid.

“Talia, look at me,” Four whispered. As she lifted her head, he spoke again. “Don’t run.”

Christina let go of her, and Four touched her face. Crooked a finger under her chin. “Look at me.”

“I can’t,” Talia replied, averting her eyes.

“Why?” he asked.

“I’m too exposed,” she said.

“And it’s a good thing,” Four responded.

“I need to move.”

“Do you trust us?” he asked. His eyes never left hers.

“Yes.” Her tears hadn’t stopped and she was shaking. “I just…”

“- showed us your deepest fears and secrets, and none of us has said a word. Chris hugged you, I have you, and Will wrapped you both into his arms. You know what this means, right?” Four was so gentle.

Talia shook her head. She had never felt love or compassion toward herself. Her mind was having a hard time processing.

“We love you,” Christina said, gesturing to herself and Will.

“I love you,” said Four. “You’ve shared something with us that nobody else sees. You trust us.”

“I’m not sure which is worse,” Talia sniffed. “Fear of my mother, or fear of vulnerability. Both really are equal.”

“You trusted us enough to show us the real deal, not the altered, and that took guts,” Four said. 

Her stomach grumbled loud enough for everyone to hear. “I guess I’m hungry,” Talia chuckled. She appreciated the distraction from the too-intense conversation.

“Let’s eat,” Christina suggested. Her stomach was the loudest.

The four of them walked out with Four and Talia leading the way. Those passing by commented later about Four holding Talia’s hand. His strength held her steady. Her fear landscape had rocked her to the core. Every person who glanced her way, whether looking at her or at something else, put her on edge. 

“Um, Four?” she asked.

“You ok?”

“Not really. I just want to go home. I’m edgy, and honestly, that’s not good for anyone,” she replied truthfully.

He stopped dead in his tracks and looked her in the eye. “Can we talk about it? I don’t mind eating in your apartment.”

“I would like that,” she replied. “I want to talk to you anyway.”

“Just know that your fears don’t define who you are. They’ve made you stronger,” Four said. He kissed her forehead and let Christina take her hand. “I'll be there in a bit. And I'll bring food.”

Christina’s smile made Talia relax a little, but as they made their way back to Talia’s apartment Rachel came into view, and the hairs on Talia’s arms stood up.

“Aww, looks like someone went through their fear landscape,” Rachel drawled. “Did the big bad wolf scare you again?”

“How’s your leg, Rachel?” Talia bit back.

“Big bad wolf?” Christina raised her eyebrows.

“Altered,” Talia whispered.

“Ah.” 

“You going to break down and cry ‘cause someone stole your dolly?” Rachel was at it again. The group that had gathered started laughing.  _ This is not a simulation. This has to be Peter’s entire group. _

“Is there a problem?” Four asked from behind the crowd. The group parted as they saw who spoke. 

“Oh, Four, you could do so much better,” Rachel said. Obviously she wasn’t worried that two leaders were witnessing her trying to make Talia miserable.

“I have what I want. Do you?” The crowd laughed again, only this time at Rachel. “‘Cause from what I can see, Peter is still out cold and you’re trolling for your next conquest.”

“I got this, Four,” Talia said, placing a hand on his shoulder. Her fears were forgotten for the moment. 

“Very well,” he replied as he brushed his hand on her lower back. Internally she shivered, externally she was neutral. 

Talia grabbed Rachel’s shirt and whispered in her ear, “You have never seen my actual fear landscape. You think you’re such a badass, but my landscape would make you shit your pants. I lived with Jeanine Matthews for two years before I chose Dauntless. Did you know she’s my mother? What you think I’m afraid of is a joke. Think on that, you weasel.” Talia released Rachel and watched the color drain from her face. “Ask Will to show it to you. If you think you can handle it.”

Talia walked away. She would have said more, but bile was rising and she wanted nothing more than to run away. She walked to the bridge over the chasm and vomited. As soon as she entered her apartment she ran to the bathroom and washed her mouth out. “Fucking Rachel,” she said.

Four grabbed Rachel’s arm and dragged her to the nearest cage. “Come at her like that again and you answer to me. Don’t fuck with me, Rachel. I’ll kill you.”

“You really could do much better, Four.” Rachel said once more.  _ Stupid girl.  _ “Triage is just in it for the sex.”

Four burst out with a laugh. “You really are something else. Fuck with her again and Peter dies too. I can promise that.”

Once again Four got to witness the color drain out of Rachel’s face, and gave her the most sinister smile he’d ever given anyone.

Talia was trying to read to ease her mind when he walked in. “Talia?”

“In here,” She answered.  _ My heart is racing. I'm in love with him. But damn, does he want me as bad as I want him? Can I go through with it this time? _

Four walked into her other room where he found her reading. “What are you reading?”

“It's called  _ The Hunger Games _ . It's about twenty-four kids ages twelve to eighteen battling to the death while people watch.”

“I'd like to read it. Maybe we can implement that for Dauntless.” He laughed. 

Talia laughed too. “We already have it minus the deaths. It’s called Challenge Day.”  _ Feels good to laugh, though.  _ “Four.” 

He brushed a stray tear from her face. “You wanted to talk?” He sat down next to her.

“I have a question, actually.”

“I’m here.” Four took Talia’s hand and kissed the inside of her palm.

“There was one fear missing from my landscape,” Talia admitted.

“And what would that be?” 

“Competing for you.” Talia stood up. “I can’t compete with a ghost.”

“I told you, I’m over it,” Four said with hurt in his voice.

“Maybe that’s why it never showed up,” Talia responded. “You need to know that I am very much in love with you, and I’m not sure that this feeling will ever go away. But I’m curious to know what you want from me? I’m trying to get all this heavy shit out in the open so you can truly make a decision if you want to move forward with me as your assistant or lover.” Talia mumbled the last word, scared of what he would do.  _ Please don’t laugh. _

“What was that last word?” Four asked, bringing her in closer.

“Lover,” she mumbled again.

“Phoenix?”

Chills ran down her spine. “Lover.” 

He wrapped his arms around her, holding her so close. “You don't know what it means to me to hear you say that.” 

Talia stood on the balls of her feet and kissed his lips. He grabbed her as close as he could and kissed her back, combing his fingers through her hair. Then he broke the kiss and began kissing her down her neck.  _ Oh god this is really happening.  _

“Four.” Talia was breathing fast. “Please.”

Four nipped at her neck. “I want you.”

Talia looked into his dark eyes. “Then take me.” 

“No regrets. If you don't want to go any farther than we have already, I'm ok with that.”

“No regrets,” she said, and she took his arms and wrapped them around her waist. 

He pulled her back to the couch. As he sat down he tugged on Talia’s hand just enough to have her straddling him. His hands roamed up and down her back. Talia took her shirt off to allow his hands more freedom. 

Her kisses lit him from the inside out.  _ I want her. I want her so bad it hurts.  _ But Four stopped abruptly. 

“What's wrong?” Talia asked. 

“Not here. This is your private space. I can make love to you on your or my bed, but not in here.”  _ The fuck? _

“Maybe I should be the one asking if there will be any regrets.” He could see that Talia was upset.  _ Shit! _

“I…”

“Four?” Talia asked. “Did you ever have sex with Tris? Only reason I ask is one minute we’re moving right along and I'm not panicking, and the next you freeze.” 

He rested his head on the back of the couch. “No. Tris and I never had sex. Made out, yes, but nothing beyond what you and I have just done. Hell, Talia, she never slept in the same bed with me. That counts for something, right?”

“Come here,” Talia said, getting off his lap. Taking his hands, she moved him into her bedroom. “You were honest with me, and now it's my turn to be honest with you.”

Four braced himself for her to admit to having sex with Caleb outside of a simulation. 

“Thank you for stopping.”

“Huh?”

“I was going to ask if we could move it to the bed anyway; it’s much more comfortable. That room is my private room, as you say, that's where I relax. So thank you for stopping.”

Four relaxed. “Sorry.”

“Hey.” Talia raised his head up. “It's not the first time we've stopped in the middle of making out.”

“You've had a hell of a day,” Four said. “How about we just lie down and see what, if anything, happens.”

“Ok,” Talia said with a yawn. As they lay down, there was a knock on the door. 

“It's open!” They said in unison. 

“Maybe it's a good thing we stopped,” Four whispered. They both laughed as Christina and Will walked in with four big black duffle bags. But Talia threw caution to the wind leaning over him she gave him the most intense kiss she could give.  _ I can’t get enough of him. _

“Whenever you two are done.” Will chuckled. 

“To be continued,” Talia breathed in Four’s ear

“Uh huh.” 

Talia rolled off and looked at her guests. “What’s up, Chris? Will?”

“War Games.” Christina smiled. “More specifically, Capture the Flag.”

“It’s tomorrow night, why?” 

“Let's make it interesting.”

“I'm listening,” replied Four. 

“Four bags?” Talia thought for a moment. “Four teams.”

“Four teams? How would that work?” Four asked. 

“Simple.” Talia couldn't help it; as his arms cocooned her in warmth she gave him another quick kiss.

“Four teams and four flags. Makes the teams much smaller until two flags are captured, and then the teams are combined. Keeps people from choosing sides and keeps leaders in charge,” Christina explained.

“What colors do we have?” he asked. 

“We have green, orange, purple, white, blue, red, and pink,” Talia answered. “And don’t look at me like that. When I won the game the flag was purple. Christina and Tris won with the green, which Eric had, and Four always chooses orange.”

“How did you know the colors of the flags?” Christina asked.

“The flags stay in my shop,” Talia answered, standing up.

“Someone has a plan already, don’t you, Talia?” Will asked, giving her a very unexpected but not unwelcome hug.

“When it comes to Capture the Flag I always have a plan. However, the four of us need to be in agreement on this one. We have forty-eight initiates; broken into four teams that means there are twelve on each team. Each of us is a captain, and we should have the ability to communicate should anything major go down.” 

“Talia.” Will looked confused. “We’re not supposed to communicate with the other teams.”

“True, but we’ve also never had teams with such volatile members, either. Not to mention, if there are major injuries for whatever reason, we can call off the game. It’s more for protection and safety than actual communication.”

“Well, that makes sense,” Christina said. 

“I don’t care who else is on my team, but I must have Beca.” Talia was dead set on this. “I have a theory I want to test, and she’s the most volatile member we have. I have a feeling that Rachel has tried to befriend her for Peter.”  _ Also I want to see where her loyalties lie. _

“You’ve been watching them?” Four asked. “You've been watching her?”

“Yes,” she replied. “I’ve noticed that even without her tracker she’s still a bitch.” Christina chuckled. “I’m not sure if her upbringing has anything to do with it, or if she just works for my mother. But her becoming friends with Rachel scares me. I don’t like what Dauntless has become, and by god I’m going to help change it.”

“You want to be her friend?” Christina was skeptical at best.

“Nope,” Talia responded. “I want her to understand that by choosing Dauntless she owes her allegiance to Dauntless. We, the entire city, live by the motto of Faction Before Blood, so she needs to live it or leave.” 

“How is she in the standings?” Christina asked.

“Three below the red line,” Will answered. “I want her gone, but justifying it is difficult.”

“Let’s see how she does tonight, then you can make your choice,” Christina said. “But if Talia wants her that’s fine by me. Talia may hate her, but she’s less likely to ‘accidentally’ shoot her.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure of that one, Chris.” Both girls laughed. “But if y’all want her gone, I want to place a tracker back inside her.”

“So how do we choose who belongs on what team?” Will asked, bringing the conversation back on topic. 

“Draw names? We need to have the teams established before we board the train,” Christina said.

“In these bags are thirteen lights,” said Talia. The others cocked their heads, waiting for an explanation. “Hand your lights out to whomever you want on your team. Look, I’m guessing you picked these up from the shop, right?”

“Yeah,” Christina said. “For some reason everything ends up in your shop.”

“Yeah.” Talia smiled. “I’ve had the bags prepped for weeks.”

“So, what’s in the bags?” Will asked.

“In the bags are what you and your team need for tonight. The flag, the lights, weapons, everything,” Talia explained. “Let's meet back here before dinner and come up with the rules.”

“Agreed,” they all said. Each one left with a black bag with a different piece of colored tape keeping the straps together. Talia had purple, Four had green, Christina had pink, and Will had red. 

_Four taking green? He’s either remembering Tris and her win or going for a change. Whatever._ _Take purple and kick some ass._

Throughout the rest of the day, each team lead handed the lights to the initiates they wanted. Talia waited til the last minute to hand Beca her light.

“What’s this?” Beca asked.

“It’s a light for War Games tonight. When we call you, the light will show you what team you belong to.”

“And if I don’t like my team leader?” Beca quipped.

“You don’t have a choice,” Talia answered. “Your light will not turn on until it receives a signal from the leader’s light,” she mentioned as she watched Beca try to turn her light on.

Will, Christina, and Four handed out their lights just as Talia did. To hear the stories of why they were being chosen was laughable. It seemed from the the tales that each initiate either questioned, whooped, or ran away. 

“Come on, Talia, you’re bound to have one. At least Beca had to give you grief,” Will said.

“She asked me what she could do if she didn’t like her team lead,” Talia said while lacing up her boots. “Told her she didn’t have a choice.” 

“Good point,” Four said.

“You’ve made me a leader in training, right?” Talia looked directly at Four. 

“Yes.”

“Tonight, you see what I can really do.” Talia picked up her bag and headed to the top level. “If the rules haven’t changed any I’ll see y’all during the game.”

“One rule has changed,” Four interjected. “When a team’s flag has been captured, that team is absorbed into the other. There is the potential for a three on one battle.”

“I love it,” Christina said, rubbing her hands in delight.

“Cool,” said Will.

“Very well.” Talia sighed but with just a hint of a crooked smile.  _ You have no idea what I have in mind.  _

Talia threw her bag onto the fast-moving train and then launched herself onboard. She left the door open to feel the freedom that the combination of rushing wind and moving train provided her. Soon she was coming up on the marshes; she threw the bag out the door and  jumped off the train. Being able to walk in the grass brought her fond memories of being in Amity. She did have some, after all.

If everything was like it was in the past, the initiates would wait til dark to leave, so she would only be waiting a few hours. She walked for half a mile till she found her spot. There in the middle of this empty plain were several large oak trees full of leaves. A perfect place to hide the flag and herself. She saw an excellent spot in one of the trees, and climbed up. From the ground she would barely be seen, but from her perch she had a great view. She turned her light on, grabbed a book and a snack (yummy bacon sandwich), and waited for nightfall. 

Will, Christina, and Four were on the train as the initiates started to board. Turning their lights on, they saw that each person's light turned on as they boarded the train. 

“Talia must have rigged them to only come on once ours were on,” Will whispered. Four and Christina just nodded. They turned their lights off again. 

The train started to pull away, and they watched a few stragglers start running to catch up and jump on. 

“Tonight's war game is capture the flag,” Four started. “Rules are simple. You get hit, you're ‘dead.’ You're not allowed to move until your team's flag is captured, and then you can rejoin your group for the next phase. There are twelve per team and then the captains. We've separated it into four teams, and there is the possibility of a three on one assault. Purple team, your lights are on, jump.”

Talia saw the purple lights bumping towards her as she climbed down the tree. She picked up her two favorite guns; one she slung over her shoulder, and the other she strapped to her right leg. Her team arrived, and Talia spoke with a frown. “Where are the other two? There are only ten of you.”

“Beca and Jasmine refused to play, so after we jumped they ran for a few yards and then sat down.”

“I see,” Talia responded distantly. She wasn't sure what Beca’s motives were, but she was sure going to find out. “Very well, were the rules explained?”

“Only that when you're hit you're dead and can't rejoin the game till a flag has been captured,” someone answered. They sounded nervous, maybe

“Look, these are simulated rounds.” Talia held up one of the rounds. “They feel like you've been shot without the blood or death.” She looked around, and saw that the group relaxed. “Four is correct about being ‘dead’ once you’re hit. But with the way I play it, there will only be a few of you who will ‘die.’ I offer you this. Anyone who can ‘kill’ Beca or Jasmine can challenge me on Challenge Day and I will accept.”

The crowd nodded, and Talia would swear later that she heard small cheers. “So where would be the best place to hide our flag, and what would you do to protect it?”

“Hide it under a rock or in a tree,” a girl answered.

“What’s your name?” Talia asked.

“Riley.” 

“Nice to meet you.”

Talia pointed to a short but stocky boy. “You. Your name and your idea?”

“Patrick, and I’d stick it in a tree with half our group on the offensive and the other half on defense.”

“Nice job, both of you.” Talia started handing out the weapons. “These are heavier than those used by people who guard the fence, but these have more accuracy. One more question, who is top in your class?”

“Edward is first, he’s on Will’s team. I’m second,”  Riley responded. 

“Good.” Talia smiled. “Turn your lights off and let’s decide who defends and who advances.”

Each person got their assignment. Talia looked at her team. “If at any point we have the advantage, we all go on the offensive and leave the flag guarded by only two. However, if you want we can just wait and see what happens with the other three.”

“Patrick, you decide,” Riley said. 

“Why me? You're more suitable for this and you know it, Riley.” 

“If one of you won’t make a decision I will make it for you,” Talia interjected. 

Riley sighed. “I think we need to just sit and wait.” 

“Good plan.” Talia smiled. “If you want to go on offensive, go for it; I will not fault you. Just remember what I said about Beca and Jasmine. As a reminder, if you are ‘killed’ or really injured, there’s a button on the left hand side of your light that will turn white. It allows others to know you are neutral.” 

To Talia’s shock, six of her team left to go search for those two absent girls. The rest stayed behind.

“Triage? May I ask you a question?” someone in the shadows asked.

“Show yourself,” Talia said gently.

“I’m here,” said a scrawny little boy.

“Got a name?”

“John,” he responded.

“So ask.”

“How did you win this game last time?”

The entire group stood still, waiting with bated breath for her response. “I shot the other team lead. I wasn’t around to see their flag captured, but their leader was shot.”

“That would have been…” everyone was obviously trying to remember.

“Eric,” Talia provided . “I shot Eric in the chest, which ‘killed’ him. I was hiding in a tree, but for good measure I shot him in the throat.”

“He had to be pretty mad,” Riley said.

“He was, and I paid for it later.”

“How?” came a chorus of voices.

“I was beaten for it,” Talia said. But a noise snapped all of them to attention, and without a another word, everyone scattered. 

Talia had moved behind the tree where the flag was when she smelled him.  _ Damn, Four, you’re everywhere _ . She climbed the tree just as Four and his team came closer. She had the perfect vantage point as her team came out, screaming and firing their weapons. Four’s team went down quick. Talia jumped down from her tree right in front of her target, pulled Four towards her, kissed him hard, and shot him in the stomach. Before he hit the ground she pulled his flag from his pocket.

Everyone cheered as the rest of the group boarded the train. “So how did you win?” Christina asked.

“Distraction tactic,” Talia replied with a wink. “Where are Jasmine and Beca?”

“Over there.” Will pointed. “They brought live rounds and shot two of my team members. But then three of your guys shot them. There were three others who turned their lights white and stood over them.”

“I will accept those challenges,” Talia said over the roar of the train. “How are you going to punish those two?”

“We can talk about that later,” Will said. “I want to hear how you beat Four.”

The train came to a stop just then and everyone started getting off. Talia’s group was whooping and shouting. Talia could see her team members slapping each other on the backs. 

“Triage?” 

Talia turned around to see Four standing a ways back. “A word,” he said.

“Yeah.” _FUCK!_ _He never calls me Triage. What did I do? Last time I had someone want “a word” with me, I was…_ panic settled in.

_ Wait a minute. This is Four, not Eric.  _ Peace came over her as she started walking away from the group.

“Triage, I’ll take your bag,” Christina said, grabbing the duffle. Talia could see the smile on her face, but walking towards Four still made her heart race.

“Nice shot,” he said, taking her face in his hands and kissing her hard. 


	18. It's Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It took awhile but it's finally time.

“Triage, I’ll take your bag,” Christina said, grabbing the duffel. Talia could see the smile on her face. “Just remember, what you have with Four is real.”

 

“It still scares me a little,” Talia said. 

 

“You’re going to be ok, Triage.” 

 

But walking towards Four made Talia’s heart race.  _ I have nothing to be afraid of.  _

 

“Nice shot,” he said, taking her face and kissing her hard. 

 

Talia could hear the cheers and whoops from the crowd, who waited to see what was going on. Her body relaxed and the space between her legs grew damp. When he released her she whispered, “Four?”

 

“Yes,” he replied hoarsely. He took her hand and they walked through Dauntless Headquarters, heading to her apartment. 

 

“Hey, Talia,” Christina called from across the hall. “Have fun.” 

 

She shrugged as if to say “whatever,” but she gave Christina a wink. 

 

Talia closed her door, but her nerves were in overdrive, and locking the door proved difficult. _Get_ _a grip, Talia_ , _it's just a door_. _He’s not Caleb._

 

“I locked the door in your closet that leads to my room.” His  voice was calm, but she jumped. “Don’t want any interruptions.”

 

Talia rested her head on the door, to calm both her heart and her nerves. 

 

Four came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her.  Resting his chin on her shoulder, he whispered, “What are you thinking?” 

 

“I want to get out of these clothes.” She chuckled. 

 

“Very well,” he said. She could feel his smile as he kissed her neck, his hands slipping under her shirt. She tried to not shriek as his fingertips grazed her sides.

 

“I'm not  _ that  _ easy Four,” she said, turning to face him. “And we both have boots on.” She gave him a quick peck. 

 

“Damn shoes,” he said, laughing. 

 

Talia led Four to her bed, where both began to untie their boots. 

 

Four took his time making his laces just perfect. Talia couldn't help but make a comment. “Are you always this particular with your shoes?”  _ Is he nervous?  _

 

“Not normally,” he replied. 

 

“So why be any different with me?” 

 

Four stared at her, his smile made her think he was playing a game with her. Once both boots were loose enough he kicked them off. When they landed upright and close to each other, Talia laughed.  _ I can do that.  _ And then she did the same thing. When her boots didn't land upright or close together, Four clapped. “I win.”

 

As much as she wanted Four to undress her, she wanted to get out of the current clothes beforehand. “I’ll be right back.” She walked into the bathroom and closed the door. Taking her shirt off, she rinsed off quickly and then changed her bra and replaced her pants with shorts. Then she brushed her hair, leaving it loose, washed her face, and brushed her teeth. _ That’s better.  _ She smiled and opened the door, only to find herself watching Four take his pants off. 

 

His black boxer briefs clung to him. The back of his shirt was stained with sweat, and as he pulled it off he could hear the bathroom door open and Talia catch her breath.

 

Four looked over his shoulder, “Like something you see?” he asked in a husky voice. She looked glassy eyed and a little unsteady.

 

“Umm, duh.” She smiled. “I’ve never seen your tattoo in full before. It’s beautiful,” she said, walking towards him.

 

“No one ever said it was beautiful before,” he said. Her fingers traced the outlines of the tattoo, and he shivered. 

 

“Cold?” she asked.

 

“Not really.” 

 

“Then what’s wrong?” she asked, tracing the Dauntless Flames on his back. 

 

“Your touch.” 

 

“Sorry,” she said sadly, removing her hand.

 

He turned around quickly and caught her before she could step away. “Talia, your touch excites me. I'm so nervous that I'll scare or hurt you that I'm on edge.”

 

“You're nervous? The Mighty Four is nervous?” Talia smiled. “Perish the thought.” She mock-swooned.

 

“Must I catch you, my lady?” he said in the most ridiculous southern accent he could produce. 

 

Talia tried to match it in response. “Oh, my hero. Please save me,” she drawled. 

 

Four dipped her low as he _saved_ her from swooning. He quickly brought her back out of the dip out of fear of dropping her. They both shared a good laugh, and he could see Talia relax. Then he kissed her. 

 

Her touch drifted over his chest and he let out a shaky breath. “Talia.”

 

She took his hands and placed them on her waist. His fingertips grazed her flesh, and she let out a shriek. He froze. “What?”

 

“That tickles,” she said, blushing. 

 

“Really?” His eyes were mischievous. If anyone ever saw or heard about this tickle fight they would’ve either laughed or thought Talia was in pain. Her shrieks of laughter carried them all the way to the bed. She was laughing so hard tears were streaming out of her eyes. They fell on her bed still tickling each other. 

 

When it was all over, Four looked down at her and kissed her. She could see that Four was being careful, but her skin felt alive with the tension between them. Every touch made Talia squirm or moan. His hands traveled down her legs. He wasn’t trying to tickle but his light touch made Talia giggle. He had to find a way to get Talia out of her head and into the moment. He wanted her, his boxers were getting tighter. His hand traveled up her arm, and he entwined her fingers with his as his kisses traveled down her neck. He kissed her from her neck to the tips of her fingers. His free hand wrapped around her bringing her up to feel his hardness. Talia groaned. 

 

He nipped at her collarbone as a sigh escaped her lips. He felt her tense as he gripped her hand and began to position himself on top of her. She didn’t relax when he nipped her collarbone again, trying to distract her. A feeling in his gut told him what to do; he braced himself, and Talia gave a short squeak when he flipped them so that she was straddling him.  Four grinned up at her, relaxed, his hand still locked with Talia's as he waited for her to decide what to do next.

 

Talia hesitated. She wasn't sure what to do or how to do anything. She straddled Four while her core throbbed. He released his hand from her fingers and began traveling them up her legs stopping just at the hem of her shorts, her body leaned back giving him permission to travel higher. He could feel the heat from her core radiating down her legs and his thumb grazed her inner thighs.  _ Oh god, this is real.  _

 

“That feels good.” Taila whispered out loud. 

 

“Don’t think. Let go.” he whispered back. 

 

Talia fell forward essentially locking Four’s thumb between her folds. He slowly began to circle her core as she rained kisses on his mouth, throat, and chest. Talia’s hand moved up Four’s arm, locking theirs fingers together. Talia rose up, pulling Four up with her. The kissing never really stopped as Talia guided his hand to her breast as his other came out of her shorts.  _ You are in control.  _ He used the other to push himself up, and once he was upright his touch went under her bra. As he removed it he kissed and licked her breasts. She began to scrape her nails down Four’s chest until she had him completely hard and moaning. “No regrets?”

 

“None,” he replied. 

 

Talia hooked her thumbs into his boxer briefs and pulled them down. He followed her lead by taking her shorts off. He reached for her face. “I love you,” he said. Talia sank down on his hard length marveling at how good it felt and how easy it was.  She wrapped her arms around him, trying to calm herself. 

 

“Do we need to stop?” Four asked breathlessly. Could he tell she was still a bit scared?

 

Talia could see he was holding as still as possible. “Please don’t.”

 

“Talia,” he started, but Talia began to slowly grind herself on him. “Oh, geez.” He fell back on the bed. 

 

Her mind was numb and her body was alive. Four began to pump faster; Talia could feel him grow even harder. 

 

“Talia, please tell me you’ve been eating the cake? I can’t last much longer.”

 

“Yes. Let go,” she gasped.

 

Talia could feel herself climax as Four slammed himself into her. Her climax surprised her, but the feeling that sex was meant to be beautiful and wasn't painful was more than she had ever hoped for. As they finished together, Talia wanted nothing more than to fall asleep in the exact spot where she was. 

 

Talia was listening to his heartbeat when Four started talking. 

 

“I didn't mean to ask about the cake. I'm sorry.”

 

“It's fine.” She pushed herself up, and could feel Four twitch. “When I found out about the contraceptive, I started eating it all the time. Not to mention it tastes fantastic.” Talia laughed. “I will never pass up cake.”

 

“I'll make sure you're well stocked.” They both laughed. 

 

After a few silent moments, Talia pulled herself off of Four and they crawled under the covers together.  Four wrapped his arms around her. 

 

“Can I ask you a question?” She asked. 

 

“Ask me anything.” Four answered kissing her hair.

 

“I know it’s not… I mean… I know I’m not the first but who was she?”

 

Four sighed, “No you weren't. My first was a girl in my initiate class named Rose. But I can tell you that Tris and I never had sex.” Four pulled back just a little. 

 

“Ah.” Talia sighed. 

 

“Talia, I know I wasn't your first but was there anyone besides Caleb?” Four asked. 

 

“One.” Talia answered. “His name was Sebastian. He was gentle but it was still weird.” Talia smiled as she rolled over to face him.

 

“I was ok then.” He asked. 

 

“Perfect. Wanna go again?”

 

Four rolled over and kissed her. That's the only response she needed. 

  
  


Four watched her as her eyes fluttered closed. “No clothes?”

 

The steadiness of her breathing told him that Talia was asleep already, and it didn't take him long to crash too. He woke up hours later with a sigh, his body telling him something else. As he emerged from the bathroom, he heard a slap outside. He grabbed his shorts and opened the door enough to see a piece of paper stuck to Talia’s door. _ Your turn. D.F.U. _

 

He smiled. “Guess she knows.”

 

“She?” Talia asked with a yawn, rolling over. “What time is it?” 

 

“Don't know and don't care. But I heard something outside, so I went to check. I found this sticking to your door.”

 

Talia read, “Your turn. D.F.U? Who put this on my door?”

 

“Only one person…”

 

“Christina. D.F.U?” 

 

Four watched her work it out. He couldn't help but smile as she went through it. And when Talia figured it out, she started laughing. 

 

“Your turn. Don't. Fuck. Up.” Talia laughed until she had to hold her sides. 

 

Four took the note back and found a pen on Talia’s desk. Writing a one word response, he walked across the hall in his shorts and slapped Christina’s door. 

 

“What did you write?”

 

“Just one word,” Four said, sitting on the bed. As he leaned down to kiss Talia again, he said, “Won't.”


	19. Interlude 3

SLAP! Both Will and Christina jumped. “The hell?” asked Will.

 

Christina shrugged. “Probably Four responding to a note I slapped on Talia's door a few minutes ago.” They played a round of Rock, Paper, Scissors to see who would open the door. “Paper covers rock!” Christina squealed with delight. Will trudged to the door. 

 

“One day soon you will tell me how you came up with this game and its rules.” Will opened the door to find the note. 

 

“Your turn. D.F.U,” he read aloud. “‘Won't.’ What's that mean?”

 

“HA!” Christina clapped, but her happiness faded quickly. “That means Four and Talia are going to have their day, and the D.F.U. means Don't Fuck Up.” 

 

“That night still bugs you?” Will asked uncertainly.

 

Christina placed her head in her hands. “Yes, it still bothers me. But what makes it worse is that I know we’re going to have to sit down and talk about how to get Jeanine to pay for her crimes. I know that Talia mentioned using herself as bait, and I don’t want to have the conversation until I make things right with her.”

 

“Chris,” Will began, but there was another slap at the door. “If the slapping keeps up I’m going to slap somebody myself.”

 

Christina stood up and went to grab the note. “I guess Talia or Four have more to say and don't want to disturb us. ‘Club D tonight. We’re going to have fun and Uriah has been notified. T.”

 

“Please tell me we’re going,” Will said.

 

“You bet your ass we are.” 

 

“Good.” Will looked hard at Christina. “What are you not telling me?”

 

“I don’t want to use Talia as bait. I want to go in her stead.”

 

The air seemed to fill with anger. Will started pacing and clenching his fists. “You can’t be serious. Jeanine will crucify you and you know it!” he shouted.

 

“What about Talia? She could die, and I refuse to allow that bitch to kill another one of my friends. Talia’s been working on this tracker that will allow us to hear and see things from her vantage point while she’s within the Erudite compound. If Jeanine tried to open Tris’s brain to see how it worked, I can only imagine what she’d do to Talia. I can’t lose her, Four, or you.”

  
  


Fear. For the first time in their relationship, Will saw fear in Christina. “You’re not doing this alone. You’re not alone anymore. I’m not going to watch you destroy yourself  _ again _ . I went through that once after Tris and I’m not doing it again. We’re going to help Talia together. Then I’m going to be here when she leaves to deal with her mother. If I have to keep you and Four stable while she’s gone, I’ll do it. But don’t for one second think I’m going to stand idly by and let you and Four deal with your grief the way you have in the past. We’re going to Club D tonight, we’re going to have a good time, and I may or may not get drunk.”

 

“I’m joining you in the drinking,” said Christina. “But first I’m going to follow Talia’s lead for a second and go work out. I’ve got too much energy and I need get rid of it.”

 

“I can help you with that.” Will winked.

 

“Then hop to it.” Christina kissed him. 

  
  



	20. Club D

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's have a little fun shall we.

Talia panted. She shivered, and Four pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her to keep her warm. 

 

“Talia, we need to talk about your plan,” Four said as he rubbed her back. 

 

“Not today or tonight,” Talia said, pulling away to look in his eyes. “I want to have fun with you and later our friends. No heavy shit till tomorrow.” 

 

“Ok.” Four smiled and pulled back for a kiss. 

 

“How was your talk with Tori?”

 

“She asked me if I was your boyfriend or lover. I wasn't sure what to tell her. So I said both.”

 

 

 

 

 

Several hours later, after multiple conversations and orgasms, there was a knock at the door. Four answered, since Talia was sound asleep.

 

“Hey Chris, what’s up?” he asked.

 

“I want to talk to Talia. Do you mind?” She sniffed as though she had been crying.

 

“Nope, I’ll wake her for you,” he replied. Kneeling on the bed, Four just barely touched Talia’s arm and she stirred.

 

A smile came across her face but her eyes stayed closed. “You smell good.”

 

“What do I smell like?” Four asked.

 

“Mint and wind,” she replied, breathing in. “But I can also smell orange and cinnamon. Is Christina here?” Talia stretched and finally opened her eyes. 

 

“Yeah, she wanted to talk to you for a few.” Four handed her his shirt.

 

“Hmmm,” Talia replied, sniffing his shirt. 

 

Four kissed her. “I’m going to go talk to a dead person.”

 

“Tell her I said hi.” Talia grabbed him before he could leave. “I love you.”

 

“I love you,” he said as he left the girls for his conversation with Tris.

 

 

******

 

Talia threw Four’s shirt on and grabbed her shorts. “Hey Chris, what’s up?” She rubbed the last bit of sleep from her eyes. 

 

“Weird question, but can I have a hug?”

 

“Of course.” Talia opened her arms and Christina walked into them. Talia was shocked when Christina started crying. “Hey, Chris, what’s wrong?”

 

“I’m so sorry,” Christina sobbed. “I ruined everything the other night and I’m so sorry.”

 

Talia smiled. “Forgiven.”

 

“No, I'm really sorry. I never should’ve had a fit. God, Talia, I fucked up so bad.”

 

“This has been bugging you, hasn't it?”

 

Christina wiped her nose on her sleeve and nodded. “I just want to forget it.”

 

“So forget it. It's forgiven, and like I said that day we’re gonna fight and be upset. It's what friends do.”  _ No heavy shit! _

 

“Tal---”

 

“I'm gonna stop you right there. I don't want any heavy shit today or tonight. I told that to Four and now I'm telling you. This day is about me and Four and tonight is about you, me, Four and Will.”

 

Christina stopped crying and wiped her face. “So what do we do now?”

 

“Well, Four is talking to Tris. Will is doing whatever it is that Will does. I can’t sit around waiting for him to come back, so let’s go work out.”

 

“Let’s have a girls day instead,” Christina said. “Wait a second, Four is talking to Tris?” Talia could see the confusion on Christina’s face. 

 

“Apparently there was one person who yelled at her headstone. So Four has gone to “talk” to her to get over some of his grief.”

 

“And you're okay with this?”

 

“Yep. Rather him talk to her than keep calling me Tris.”

 

“Ah. Let's get out of here.” 

 

Their day was spent partially in Talia’s shop as she explained to Christina what she had been working on. “You know, it’s funny,” Talia said, running her hand over the front frame of the car she was working on. “I had a dream about this car and Four the night before you asked me to meet with you and Four to talk about my leadership application.”

 

“Was is it a good dream?” Christina asked suspiciously. “Or one of those ominous dreams?”

 

“More along the lines of a sexual dream.” Christina’s eyes went wide. “I was bent over this frame working on what I can only think of as the engine, when I smelled him. He told me he wanted me and I told him to take me. But as I was turning to face him, I woke up.”

 

“How did you know it was Four then?”

 

“He has this scent that is… It’s hard to describe, but he smells like mint and wind.” Talia leaned on the frame, thinking about last night and this morning. 

 

“That good?” Christina asked.

 

“Yeah.” Talia sighed. 

 

“So what’s this?” Christina held up a vial.

 

“It’s the tracker I pulled out of Four. Tomorrow I want to look at it and compare it with the one I pulled from Becca. See if I can tweak them so that we can find my mother --- I’m not talking about this. No plans or planning until tomorrow.”

 

“I can work with that.”

 

“Let’s get out of here,” Talia said, turning out the lights. 

 

“Want me to help you get dressed?” Christina asked as they walked back to their apartments. “I have some really cute outfits that could fit you.”

 

“Nope. I know exactly what I'm wearing, but can you help with my makeup?”

 

“Makeup? You wear makeup? Hot damn!” Talia could see her best friend was all for helping. Good thing too, since Talia had no idea what she was doing. 

 

“Just don't overdo it, please,” Talia pleaded. 

 

“I promise.” 

 

Walking into Talia’s room was a bit of a shock. Four was lying on her bed, breathing heavily. 

 

“I’ll see you in a few,” Christina whispered.

 

“Knock first.” Talia winked.

 

Talia walked over and sat down next to Four. “What’s wrong?”

 

“I yelled at Tris,” he replied. “I got so angry and yelled.”

 

Talia jaw dropped. “I---”

 

“You said no heavy shit, which is why I’m not going any further.” Four sat up to pull Talia down. 

 

“Ah,” Talia said. “Come shower with me. Then we can get ready for tonight; Christina is going to help me with something.”

 

“A shower?” Four started tickling Talia’s waist. “I can handle that.”

 

They both were sated and clean when Talia sent Four down the passage to get dressed. “We really need to wash our clothes at some point.” 

 

“I’ll wash you anytime.” He smiled.

 

“Flirt,” she said, as he gently pushed her up on the wall, kissing her. 

 

“Just with you.” Four walked a few feet away and dropped his towel to walk the rest of the way to his room.  _ Bet he never did that for Tris. HA! He’s mine! _

 

Talia had rigged her music stick to play without headphones, so when she turned it on, music began to play throughout her apartment. As the beat moved, so did Talia; she grabbed her clothes and laid them on the bed, then pulled on a pair of thick purple socks.  _ If I’m dancing I don’t want my feet to hurt _ . Her best black pants (moveable and comfy) followed. Her bra was next. Leaving her shirt off for a bit, she continued to dance to the music, every now and then looking at the shirt and thinking about wearing something different. Tonight was for having fun and maybe trying her hand at seduction. Four was the first to say he was her boyfriend and lover, but she still wanted to show him a different side. She had laid out a purple t-shirt, but instead she put on a high cut purple halter top; something she’d bought never really thinking she’d wear it. She worked hard to keep her body fit and she had a fantastic tattoo; time to start showing them off. 

 

A few days ago, Tori had completed the Amity Tree, which was engulfed in Dauntless Flames. Talia’s Erudite Eye tattoo was still scarred from her encounter with Becca, but she wasn't worried. If Four could face his demons, it was high time she faced hers. Since her clothing choice had changed, she took her bra off, replaced it with a strapless one, and put her top on. ‘You are the Phoenix,’ Tris had told her. Time to embrace it. 

 

Her thoughts kept coming back to what Four had told her about his conversation with Tori. That could explain Tori’s goofy smile the whole time she was working on the tattoo. 

 

He was both Talia’s boyfriend and her lover. Fear started to creep into her mind. “No!” She screamed to herself. “I am stronger than this. He is my boyfriend and my lover!” Talia grabbed her brush and began drag it through her hair; brushing a knot out calmed her down.

 

_ Knock Knock. _ The sound brought Talia back into the moment. She opened the door as the next song started to play. Christina walked in, looking radiant in a red halter, skin tight black pants, and red heeled boots. Her lips and eyeshadow were just as red as her shirt.

 

“Holy fuck!” Christina exclaimed. 

 

“What?” Talia asked with a smile. “And hello to you, too.”

 

“Damn, Talia, Four’s gonna bust his zipper.”

 

“Chris, do you think purple is a good color?”

 

“You look absolutely stunning,” she replied. 

 

“You look radiant.” Talia returned the compliment. 

 

“If things go like they've been going, Will and I will have the best sex ever. But that really all depends on how much he drinks.”

 

“Mopey much,” Talia said. 

 

“Yep.” Christina put her bag down on Talia's work table. “So, Four?”

 

“Do you really like my outfit?” Talia asked. 

 

Christina stopped rummaging. “Nice evasion there, my friend.” But she didn’t press.

 

_ Feeling better now.  _ Talia heaved a sigh. “So how does this makeup stuff work?”

 

“It accents certain features on your face. Have you ever worn makeup?”

 

“No. Just want to do something different.”

 

“I’m thinking purple eyeshadow and a touch of black eyeliner. You don’t want it overdone. And I promised I wouldn’t go crazy. And different is good.”

 

“Let’s do this. Four will be back soon,” Talia said. 

 

There was a knock on Talia’s door. Christina went to open it, since Talia was finishing her boots. Talia took a huge breath and sighed as Four walked in the door.  _ I will never tire of his scent.   _ Will waited outside Talia’s apartment, but Christina dragged him in as Talia did up the last bootlace. 

 

Four seemed speechless. He looked her over, his eyes wide, as if he was trying to take everything in at once. 

 

“Let’s go, ladies. The Amity trio is about to start singing,” said Will. All four of them ran to Club D. Several Dauntless were already inside, apparently waiting for the trio to start.

 

“Amity Trio?” Talia asked as they walked into the club. 

 

“Yeah.” Four chuckled. “Wylie, Silas, and Trevor all sing this song when Club D is about to open. Rumor has it that there's supposed to be a fourth singer, but that person has never shown up.” 

 

“Fields of Glory,” Talia whispered. 

 

“Huh?” Four asked. 

 

“Nothing,” said Talia. 

 

Four leaned to her ear. “I know you're the fourth. That's why they're your crew, isn’t it?”

 

“I love singing with them. Just never wanted people to know, but do you want to hear it? I mean how it's supposed to sound.”

Talia climbed the platform and waited in the shadows. She could see her friends looking for her and wondered what they were thinking. Trevor queued the music. 

 

The music started, and Wylie, Silas, and Trevor started singing. 

 

“I was born in a faction where people admire, 

their great sporting heroes and how they aspire, 

to stand upon mountains and always be winners. 

And never give less than their all.

“I once met an old man who told me great stories

of legends of old who play hard for the glory.

Of lifting the cup in that moment of triumph,

These memories kept me enthralled.”

 

Talia stepped up to the microphone and joined her crew in the chorus.

 

“On the fields, the fields of glory.

On the fields where boys become men.

On the fields, the fields of glory, 

May the best team win.”

 

As the song continued, Trevor, Silas, and Wylie wrapped their arms around their friend and leader. Talia could have burst with pride as the Dauntless Members joined in one last round of the chorus. 

 

Tears of happiness ran down Talia’s cheeks as she was filled with even more pride for her chosen family. As Talia, Trevor, Wylie, and Silas left the platform, the real dance music started to pump through the speakers. Dauntless members were soon thrashing and dancing wildly to the speed metal blasting through the speakers.

 

Christina was the first to reach Talia, and before Talia had a chance to react or brace herself, Christina barreled into her. 

 

“Oooff!” gasped Talia. 

 

“Sorry,” Christina said in her ear. “But that was beyond words.”

 

“Thanks,” Talia said. “It’s been so long I’m glad I remembered the words.” 

 

Will patted her back. “Nice job, Talia.” But his eyes were focused on the bar. “I need a drink.”

 

Christina grabbed his hand and led him to get their first round. “First round is on us.”

 

Four stood in front of Talia, beaming with happiness. “That was the most beautiful thing…” Talia stopped him with her lips, her tongue diving into his mouth.  

 

“Dance with me,” Four said, pulling Talia to the center of the floor. “And forgive me for not saying this earlier, but you are breathtaking. Beautiful. Stunning.” Pulling her closer, he was able to talk into her ear. “Mine.”

 

_ Mine. I’m his! YES! _

 

Thankfully, the music changed from speed metal to a club style beat. Christina and Will joined them, handing each of them a drink. 

 

Four took a huge pull from his bottle. “Wow!” he exclaimed. “How did he make this a flavor? And what  _ is _ the flavor?”

 

Talia sniffed. “Strawberry,” she said, taking a sip. Her sip turned into a chug, and before any of them could say “breathe!” Talia was done with her drink. 

 

“Damn, woman. If you keep drinking that fast you'll be ruined before we get to really have fun,” Christina said over the music. 

 

Talia walked over to Uriah with her bottle. “How goes it, Uriah?”

 

“Triage? Shit! I didn't think you'd actually show,” he stammered. 

 

“I figured.” She curved her lips ever so slightly. “This is good stuff. I’d like another, please.”

 

“No,” Uriah said. “Wait till this one hits you, then ask.”

 

Talia grabbed the counter. “Woah.”

 

“Wasn't sure how fast you'd drink it, but I'm guessing you're feeling it now?”

 

She nodded her head slowly. 

 

“I have a room for you guys with food, and it's quiet so you guys can talk.”

 

Four walked up. “I think shot form would be best, Uriah.”  

 

Uriah agreed as he shook Four’s hand. “Good to see you out and about, man. I told Triage that I have a private room for you guys.”

 

“Thanks. I think we should eat.” Four guided Talia to the private room, where their dinner of chicken, greens, and apples was placed on a table. 

 

Talia started salivating. “We haven’t eaten all day,” she said. “I had that piece of cake, but that's long gone. Let's eat.”

 

As Talia began to fill a plate, Will and Christina walked in with someone she didn't recognize. Her guard went up immediately. Whatever she was feeling before this girl walked in was now gone. Talia looked at her friends as if to ask  _ who is this? _

 

Four went to sit next to Talia. “This is a private room, Pearce, what do you need?”

 

Christina whirled around. “The hell?”

 

“Sorry, Four, Christina, but you need to know Peter is awake. Rachel refuses to leave his side.”   
  


“Anything else?” Christina asked hotly. 

 

“Yes,” Pearce said, glaring at Talia. “But it can wait.”

 

“Then get out,” Christina ordered. Pearce walked out. “I swear, that girl needs to be put in a cage just to make me happy,” Christina said.

 

“No heavy shit,” Four said. 

 

Talia was finishing her greens when Uriah brought green colored shots. “Enjoy.”

 

Talia looked at hers. “Umm.”

 

“Don't over think. Drink it and enjoy,” said Four, kissing her cheek. 

 

The four of them clinked glasses, set them on the table, and then drank. Talia shook her head, letting the taste settle in. “Apple? No. I can't tell what flavor this is. Not sure I can drink much more.”

 

“You ready?” Christina asked Talia. 

 

“For?”

 

“Seriously?! I wanna dance!” Christina said, grinning wildly. 

 

“Let's go,” Talia responded. She gave Four a steamy kiss and grabbed a bite of cake, swallowing it with a wink.

 

The music was bass heavy, and Talia loved it. She could see Four relaxing as he watched her dance. As Talia began to really get into the music, Christina wrapped her arms around her from behind. 

 

“So, Four?” Christina asked. 

 

Talia laughed as she brought Christina around to her front. Christina's hands never left Talia’s body as Talia pulled her in close. “He's the best damn thing to happen to me.”

 

“Ha!” Christina hugged her best friend, and then the two of them really got into the music. 

 

“And just like you, if things go the right way, Four and I will have the greatest sex.”  _ Well, that was bold.  _

 

They were dancing and having a great time when a soft hand glided from Talia's back to her stomach. Pulling her close. Although she tensed at first, one whiff and she knew she was safe. Four’s hand flattened on her stomach. Talia raised her arms and placed them around the back of his neck. 

 

“Dance with me,” he murmured into her ear.

 

“Yes!” She exclaimed. The music changed to something not typically Dauntless. “Jazz?”

 

“No, swing. A guilty pleasure from my early life in Abnegation,” Four admitted. 

 

“Let’s go!”

 

“Follow my lead.” And Four started the dance. 

 

Between dances with Four and her friends, Talia drank and ate. She lost count of how many drinks she had, but her mind wouldn't shut up. She ran to the bar at one point and grabbed a marker from Uriah and a large napkin. Talia noticed that the more Will drank, the more he moped. Christina got all touchy-feely, which was odd because she was like that normally. Four got thoughtful and more passionate. His kisses were more intense and not as rushed.

 

Talia was wired. She wasn't sure if it was from the drinks or just her being relaxed, but she began to draw a schematic of a building. She wasn’t entirely sure what her head was directing her fingers to, but it gave her little pause before she continued to draw.  _ This feels weird.  _

 

“One last drink, my friends.” Uriah said as he set down four purple shots. 

 

“Bottoms up.” Talia said. They drank their shots, danced to one final song, then walked back across the chasm drunk. 

 

Talia was still wired. She watched as two Fours bounced on two beds. She staggered to her other room for a book, hoping to calm her thoughts. She grabbed the intended material and fell on her bed, but it wasn't as soft as she remembered. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song lyrics have been changed to fit the world. However, the actual song is called Fields of Glory by The High Kings.


	21. Thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, but sometimes life gets in the way.

Four woke up the next morning on Talia’s bed, but Talia was nowhere to be seen. Moving slowly thanks to Uriah and his tasty drinks, he walked to Talia’s bathroom to splash his face. When he woke up a bit more, he saw feet on the floor on the other side of the bed. He chuckled to himself as he approached the person attached to those feet.

 

“Guess she never made it to bed.” Four sat down and began to stroke her hair. Talia was clutching a large towel and a book. “ _Erudite: In Pictures,_ ” he read out loud. She had placed a finger between the pages. Four gently removed the book and opened to the space that Talia had made, gasping as he saw a schematic for the Annex Building B. It was the same rendering that Talia had drawn on the towel.

“Talia,” he said

 

“Errmmm.” Talia began to stir.

 

“Don't move fast, babe,” Four said. “Uriah had fun last night getting us all wasted.”

 

“Don't.” Talia burped. “Ugh.”

 

“Here. You need to eat this.” Four handed her a bacon sandwich.

 

“It's so good.” Talia moaned with delight. “But I still feel ick.”

 

“Yeah. Did you forget where your bed was?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“I found you on the floor.”

 

“Last thing I remember was Uriah brought us that purple thing, then grabbing a book of all things.” Talia shivered. “I need a shower.”

 

She stood up slowly and then bolted to the bathroom. Four followed, pulling her hair away from her face as she vomited. “Don't move,” he told her.

 

He turned on the shower and helped Talia undress. She was breathtaking, a little green from last night’s fun, but all he wanted to do was help and take care of her.

 

She reached for his hand as if to steady herself. Four remembered that Talia rarely asked for help but she was letting him bathe her. As the water splashed down her back, she started vomiting again. “Never drinking again,” she mumbled between heaves.

 

Four laughed. “‘S not funny,” Talia said crossly. Four began to wash her hair. “Hmmm, that feels good. Not sure how fit I'm gonna be today.”

 

“I'm not worried about it,” Four said, rinsing her hair. “With as much as you’ve been dealing with, and with everything that might pop up, you needed last night. Wrap up and I'll be right back.”

 

“Where are you going?” she asked.

 

“I'm going to get Christina. She can help you get dressed.” Talia sat in the shower letting the water run till it turned cold.

 

“Why am I still tired?” Talia asked, stepping out of the shower, reaching for her towel and wrapping up in it. “I danced, I ate, did I really drink that much? There was that strawberry one, the purple thing, a green one, oh god I can’t remember the others. That was it, right? So why do I feel this way? Four?”

 

“Well, honey, when you throw them back like you did, you get what's called _drunk_. And you, sweety, are still drunk.”  

 

Orange and cinnamon filled Talia's nose. The scent was so pungent that she almost gagged. _Damn hangover._

 

“Thanks.” Talia turned to face Christina as she walked into the bathroom. “But I think the proper term is ‘hungover.’”

 

“Semantics, sweety.” Christina waved it off. They both giggled.

 

“Did I fall back asleep?” She asked Christina. “How did you get in?”

 

“I figured you needed someone other than me to help you,” Four explained.

 

“I guess I didn't hear you. Sorry.”

 

“Where's Will?” Four asked Christina.

 

“He's bringing more food,” Christina said, grabbing Talia some clean clothes. After watching Talia struggle with her clothes, she wound up helping her dress.

 

After Talia was dressed and sitting back on her bed, Four handed her a big glass of water. “You need to drink nothing today but water.”

 

“Uh huh,” Talia agreed, and began to drink the cool water as the door opened and Will walked in with the food. Before anyone could say a word, Talia ate two pieces of bread and gave a large and grateful sigh.

 

“Thanks, Will,” said Four.

 

“My God, that smells good, does being drunk always make you hungry?” Talia asked, reaching for the food again. Taking a bacon sandwich, she bit into it enthusiastically. They all ate in silence. “I might actually survive,” Talia said at last, leaning back.

 

“If you drink as much as you did, the more you need to eat to soak up all that alcohol,” Christina said, taking a bite of her sandwich.

 

“So you drew something last night, and we should probably talk about it,” Will said with more bite than normal.

 

Talia pulled her legs up as Four brought the towel and book to her. “You drew this last night.” Four laid the towel out and tears welled up in Talia’s eyes. “What do we need to know, Ph-- Talia?”

 

Talia stared at Four. It was like he wanted to call her something else.

 

“So what did you draw?” he asked.

 

Talia stared at the towel. She remembered doing the drawing, but wasn’t sure she remembered why. “I didn’t know what I was drawing. Before Uriah brought us that purple thing I felt a little odd. I didn’t know if it was because I was relaxed, drunk, something else.”

 

“You stopped at one point as if you were questioning your actions,” Christina said.

 

“I felt like I was being put into a simulation or at least being watched. It was weird,” Talia said.

 

“You were simmed?” Will demanded. “What the fuck, Triage! Thought you said you removed yours.”

 

“Take it easy, Will!” Talia shouted back, grabbing her throbbing head. “I said ‘it felt _like_ it.’ I don't think I really was. I would've known. I'm Divergent, remember.” _And what the fuck, Will? This isn't like you at all._

 

“And you don't think your mother can find a way around that?” Will yelled again. “You said that Jeanine wanted Tris in order to study how the Divergent brain worked!”

 

“I'm trying to figure that out!” Talia slammed her hands on the bed. (Ow.) “Damn it, Will, I wasn't simmed. Otherwise one of you would've said something. Or would you rather me just walk up to the Erudite headquarters and waltz on in?”

 

“Not a bad idea,” Will said. “Come home, Talia.”

 

“Will!” Christina and Four yelled, but Talia was already trying to reach him. She swung one more time, but couldn’t make contact with Will’s face before they both fell to the floor. Her head was throbbing.

 

_Beep beep beep._ That was Talia's computer. Four hit a key to get the noise to stop. A face appeared that was most definitely not Jeanine Matthews.

 

“Talia? Talia, are you there?” said the man. Talia made a slashing movement across her throat.

 

“And you are?” Four asked.

 

“My name is Sebastian. I'm a friend of Talia's. May I speak to her?”

 

“Sorry, but she's not here. What is this about?”

 

“I was wondering if she got my message. I don't have long, but with their permission I would like to meet with Four and Talia to explain my message. I hope it didn't scare her too much.”

 

“I’ll send an emissary to come and escort you here.”

 

“Ah, the mighty Four,” Sebastian drawled.

 

“I'll relay your request to Talia,” Four said, cutting the conversation off.

 

“So it seems that you were being watched somehow,” Christina said. “But it wasn't via simulation, so you might not have known you were simmed or even being watched. But how is that possible? And what the hell happened with Will? I mean he was fine one minute, the next he wasn’t himself.” Christina gave herself a facepalm. “His tracker. We never had it removed. Mine is still inside as well.”

 

Talia bolted to the bathroom once more the thought that there were still trackers to remove made her vomit once again. She could smell a hint of mint and could only guess that Four followed, but she waved him away. She needed to think.

 

 

 

“We’ll need to send an emissary to Erudite to retrieve this Sebastian guy,” Four said coming back to Christina. “Not Talia, she is in no state to do much. Christina, could you do it?”

 

“I'm game,” Christina replied. “What about the tracker?”

 

“We have to take our chances,” Four said as he heard Talia heave again.

 

“Help me get Will back in bed. I'd beat his ass right now for what he did to Talia, but I'll let her handle it.”

 

 

 

Talia thought out loud, “How did Sebastian hack into my computer? Have I been in a simulation this whole time?”

 

“Don't think so.”  

 

She jumped. “Jesus, Four!” she gasped. “Scared me half to death.”

 

“Sorry.” He walked towards her. Mint and wind filled her nostrils.

 

“The thing that worries me is what if I have been simmed?” she went on apprehensively. “That could mean that everything between---”

 

Four stopped her with his mouth. After a second, Talia groped behind her to turn off the running water. Thankfully she’d just finished brushing her teeth. His hands found hers and guided them around his neck. Breaking the kiss, he looked into her eyes. “Do you feel simmed?”

 

Talia shook her head.

 

“Then I don't think you were or are. Now, how _are_ you feeling?” He smiled mischievously.

 

“I feel better after eating, but knowing that Will or Christina might still have trackers makes me a little queasy, why?”

 

“I've locked both doors and Christina is retrieving Sebastian, sooo --?”

 

“Take the edge off. Good plan.” Talia nipped at his bottom lip and it was on.

 

Four’s hands went under her shirt as Talia went to unbutton his pants. He broke the kiss as it reached her neck, gasping as she got his pants open.

 

“Four,” she sighed.

 

“Just don’t vomit.” He laughed.

 

“If I think.” She laughed back.

 

“I know, but right now, don’t think,” he replied through kisses. He pulled her shirt off and released her breasts.Talia kept her hands in his pants as he began to palm one breast and kiss the other.

 

_Knock knock._ “Damn,” Talia whispered, then raised her voice to address whomever was interrupting. “One minute!” She and Four rushed to get dressed.

 

When they were decent and a little calmer, Four opened her door and Will walked in.

 

“Hey guys,” Will said casually. “Have we started our meeting? Where’s Christina?”

 

Before Talia could reach him, Four grabbed her. “Will, do you remember anything about ten minutes ago?”

 

“No,” Will answered. “What happened?” He looked around, his face paling.

 

“I think we need to get out of here. Sebastian has some explaining to do,” Talia said through gritted teeth.

 

“Erudite Sebastian? Why would he be coming here?” Will asked, looking puzzled.

 

“You know him?”

 

“Yeah, he was in my choosing class.” Will’s face showed alarm and hatred.

 

“Both of you need to leave so I can get dressed. I'm not visiting with a guest looking like this,” said Talia, turning to Four. “Why don't you explain it to him.”

 

When her door was closed, she found the nearest weapon (one of her knives) and threw it into the nearest wall. She repeated this action several times until she felt better. “Fucking Will.”

 

She grabbed a red shirt (Dauntless Day), put on the jacket containing twelve of her knives, and walked out of her room. Before she could close her door she looked down, and realized that not only was she not wearing shoes, but she had no pants on either. She laughed at herself and went back in to get dressed. Before she left this time, she yanked the thirteenth knife out of the wall and put it in a pocket.

 

Walking into Four’s office, Talia saw Will with his head bowed and Four leaning on his desk.

 

“So how do we play this?” Will asked.

 

“If he's as smart as you say, he won't talk directly to you and me, but he will talk with Talia, correct?” asked Four.

 

“Yes,” Will answered.

 

“Hi,” said Talia, a little louder than she wanted.

 

Four walked to her and gave her a very chaste kiss. “You ok?”

 

“I'll be fine,” Talia said. “Are you?”

 

Four shrugged. “I get to size you up first. Need to know if I have anything to be worried about, like if I have competition.”

 

Talia laughed out loud. “You have nothing to worry about.”

 

Four grinned. “So I told Will what happened.”

 

“Talia, I'm sorry,” Will said.

 

“You ever do that again, Will... well, just don’t ever do it again.”

 

“Not exactly the correct way to speak to a member of Erudite, Talia.”

 

“He’s not Erudite, he’s Dauntless,” Christina interjected.

 

“It's Triage! And I wasn't speaking to you, Sebastian. Hence the name ‘Will’ in the middle of the sentence. And as I recall, it's proper etiquette to knock on someone's door before entering,” Talia said.

 

“I think you should be more polite before I speak,” Sebastian said with an air of superiority.

 

“I suggest you speak up now, Sebastian, before I allow _my little sister_ to damage your pretty face,” Will said. _‘Bout damn time._

 

“Will, I'm impressed. You finally learned how to control women.”

 

“I don't control her,” Will said through gritted teeth. “She is my friend.”

 

“Very well. I have a message for you,” Sebastian said, sitting down without an invitation.


	22. Plan

“The message is for you, Talia,” Sebastian continued. He crossed his legs and locked his fingers around his knee. “Your mom misses you, and she wants you to come home immediately and make amends.”

 

The entire room was silent, the noise from the pit floating into the dead space as Talia’s lip twitched. She glared at Sebastian. 

 

“My name is Triage. What are you specifically doing here, Sebastian?” Talia crossed her arms against her chest. 

 

Sebastian shivered and suddenly spoke in a much friendlier voice. “Triage, please, I don't have much time.” That gave Talia a shiver of her own. He was high and mighty a moment ago and now relaxed and easy. Which was the true Sebastian? Lofty? Sympathetic? Could he be both? Was he really that much of a jerk?

 

“I don't like this,” whispered Four. He was right, and Talia knew it. 

 

“Tell my mother she can go to hell.” 

 

“Talia,” the high and mighty was back. “I don't think you want to do that.”

 

“My name is Triage! Don't come here acting all superior and then be the Sebastian I know for just a minute. Go tell Jeanine that her daughter is dead.” Talia reached into her jacket to pull out a knife or two. 

 

“Ok!” Christina said a little too loudly, bringing her hands together in a clap. “Meeting is over. I'll take you out and you can go back to Erudite.”

 

“Not so fast,” Sebastian said. “We haven't had our talk about what the message---” his head started to shake. 

 

“Talia, help me,” he stammered. “Chip.” She watched him struggle against an unknown force. “Brain stem.” 

 

“Gethimgone!” Four yelled rapidly. 

 

Will wrestled him out.

 

“Brain stem?” repeated Christina. 

 

“Was he telling you that there's more than just a tracker?” Four asked. 

 

“I'm not sure.” Talia knitted her eyebrows. 

 

“Talia, what are you thinking?” 

 

“There was a rumor among some people in the other factions that Jeanine maintained control by having a chip inserted into the brain stem of all those in Erudite. Didn't matter if you were born or transfer.”

 

“So more than a tracker?” Christina asked, looking  puzzled.

 

“If the rumor is true, my assumption is yes.”

 

“But we all know what happens when you assume.” said Will with a smirk. 

 

“Exactly. I'm starving,”  she added. 

 

“You're always hungry.” Christine commented and both girls laughed.

 

“I burn it off quickly.”

 

“True.” Christina replied. 

“I want food, and then we need to think through this.”

 

“Which transfer do you want to test your theory on?” Four asked, seeming to know her next thought already. 

 

“As much as I would love to say Becca, I don't think it would be wise.”

 

“Why not?” Christina asked. 

 

“Because she'll think it's a trap. I can't run a test of myself, and I'm not sure anyone else will volunteer. Maybe Will? I can check for his tracker as well. You’re right, Christina, I still haven't pulled them from him or you,” Talia admitted. 

 

Christina bristled. “And if Will doesn't agree to test your theory?”

 

“Then I'll find another,” Talia replied with a shrug. 

 

Will met them at the cafeteria. “We need to talk.” His face was hard and almost menacing. 

 

“We’re headed to grab food and head back to the shop.” Christina said, giving him a kiss. “Talia has a theory.”

 

“So do I,” Will said. 

 

They got their lunch to go. All three of the others had their usual meat and greens, but Talia ordered four plain bacon sandwiches and another with egg. She also received one container that was larger than all the others.

 

“Damn, Phoenix, are you hungry or what?” Christina asked, eyeing the containers. 

 

Talia froze.  _ Phoenix? She just called me Phoenix.  _

 

“Sorry.” Christina said quickly. “But seriously, do you have enough food?”

 

“I'm starving and nursing a hangover. Plus, I got us cake.” She winked at Four, who laughed and kissed her in front of everyone. 

 

When they arrived in Talia's shop, Four made sure that all the cameras and listening devices were turned off. “Ok, Phoenix, what's your theory?”

 

“Il irst.” Talia said through the bite of sandwich in her mouth. 

 

“What?” Christina asked. 

 

Talia swallowed. “Will first.”

 

“Well.” Will took a deep breath. “Sebastian wouldn't shut up. He mentioned something that I had completely forgotten. There's a rumor that Jeanine or her predecessor put a chip in people's brain stems. When it was turned on people could retain more information. It was kinda like a memory bank. Maybe we can use Talia’s scanner to find out if it’s true and if we can find the chip.”

 

“So your theory, Talia?” Four asked. 

 

“Same as Will’s, but if it's a memory bank I'm wondering if removing it will make that person lose their whole memory.”

 

“Let's find out,” Will said. “We can use me as the guinea pig, and if I lose my memories we can put it back in.”

 

“Let me ask this.” Four was obviously completely confused. “You're saying that every Erudite transfer we've brought in could have a chip in their brain making them act - or think -  differently?”

 

“In theory, maybe,” Will answered. “There is one thing that Sebastian mentioned in passing, that the chip could be turned on at random, but only in short bursts. Meaning the brain can't handle the chip for long when it's activated. So let's take a look, shall we?”

 

“You're going to volunteer,” Christina stated with worry all over her face. 

 

“It's the least I can do,” Will responded.

 

“What are you talking about?” Four asked. 

 

“I messed up earlier with Talia by yelling at her for not telling us everything. I didn't realize what I was doing, so it's only fitting that I be her test subject.”

 

“Ok,” Talia replied with a sigh. “Thanks, Will. So now for the towel and book.”

 

“Can we eat more?” Christina asked as she sat on the floor. “I'm still hungry, and I'm pretty sure Talia is still hungover.”

 

“Agreed,” Talia said. She knew she'd have to explain what she drew, but she was still trying to figure it out herself. She grabbed another sandwich and began to think. Her friends left her to it and talked among themselves about last night and how great it was and how they'd have to do it again soon. 

 

“Did you see Uriah dance on top of the bar? Not sure where he learned it, but it was awesome,” Christina said, bringing Talia back to the conversation. 

 

“I was, um, busy,” Talia said with a blush. 

 

“ _ Yeah _ you were.” Christina laughed. 

 

Talia remembered dancing with Four, which led to a steamy kiss. Right there on the middle of the dance floor, Four let everyone there know that she was no longer available. 

 

As they ate, Four looked more and more like he was bursting with questions. 

 

“Four?” Will asked. “What’s on your mind?”

 

“The chip. Who activates it? Can an individual activate it or is it someone higher, like the leadership?” Four asked.

 

“We’re not sure,” Talia replied.

 

“For all we know it’s a myth. Something that was used to keep us in line or something.” Will said.

 

“So for the sake of theory,” Christina started. “Could the carrier control it?”

 

“Possibly,” Talia said, taking a bite of cake. “If the person can activate it themselves, then they would have control, but if it’s  _ mother, _ or anyone else, probably not.”

 

 

 

Once they finished their lunch, Talia placed the towel and book on her cleared table. Four brought the cake as they all stood and stared at her rendering of Annex Building B. It was drawn perfectly to scale, as if she had traced it over the picture in the book. 

 

“So what are we looking at?” Christina asked. “I mean, I get that it says ‘Annex Building B,’ but what is that?” 

 

Will shook his head, having no memory to contribute. Four stood back, wide eyed. “It looks like the place Tris was headed to when she went to her death.”

 

“Close,” said Talia. “Tris was in the main building here.” She flipped to another page. “This is where I---”  _ Get a grip, Talia. They need to know this.  _ “This is where I was living. My room was here.” She pointed to a small square. “It was big enough for my bed, a small nightstand, and one shelf to hold books and paper.”

 

“But this space is huge,” Will said. “What about the other rooms?”

 

Talia pointed to another small section. “This is my bathroom and changing area. Mother made sure that someone always watched me while I showered and got dressed. I wasn't allowed to show my back, since mother supposedly loved all. But the other rooms were a kitchen, dining area, and study area. I had to make sure that whoever was watching me was fed as well.”

 

There was one area she was avoiding. “What's this over here?” Four asked. 

 

_ Of course it would be Four who asked about that room. Oh god, that room.  _ Talia coughed, trying to regain her composure. “This is where my mother would get rid of her anger.”

 

“Fuck me!” Will exclaimed as he slammed his fist on the table. “Shit, I really fucked up back then, too.”

 

“What?” Christina asked. 

 

“Phoenix, shit, I'm so sorry.” Tears poured out of Will’s eyes. “I heard you scream. I passed by that door so many times and never once questioned who was screaming.”

 

“Will,” Talia was crying too. “I would've never known it was you. I wasn't allowed to leave my area until after the whole Abnegation issue. I did all my work in that room.” Everything was there. Her past was now laid out; there was no use hiding anything else. 

 

Talia looked around at her friends. Will regained his composure, Christina was lost in thought, and Four was shaking. He took Talia's hand and kissed her palm. 

 

“I didn’t realize how hard it was for you,” Four said. Talia could see the truth in his eyes. “I made a promise that when shit hit the fan I wouldn't turn my back on you. Well, I think the fan has been turned on and the shit is ready to fly.” He looked up. “Who's with me?”

 

“Me.” Will took Talia's other hand. “Time for me to act like a brother.”

 

“Me too,” Christina said, giving Talia a hug. “I'm your best friend no matter what.”

 

Several moments went by before anyone said another word. They were surprised by the voice that broke the silence. 

 

“I have a feeling y'all will be here for a while, so I brought more food and cake.”

 

“Trevor?” Christina exclaimed, turning around. 

 

“Yup, and Wylie,” Wylie said, appearing in the doorway next. “We saw T and you come here so we tho- tho- thought you could use this.”

 

“Thanks, big guy,” Four said, shaking Trevor’s and Wylie’s hands. 

 

“I wanna help,” said Wylie without prompting. 

 

“You do?” asked Talia. “Why?”

 

“Cause you lead,” he replied with a smile. Talia walked to him and hugged him. He brought her up to reach his cheek, where she planted a kiss. 

 

“Thank you,” Talia whispered. “You can put me down.” 

 

Everyone laughed. “What's the plan?” asked Trevor. 

 

“We’re going to test a theory,” Will answered. “Are we scanning here?”

 

“I think it's the best idea,” Four said. “What do we need?”

 

“I need more food,” Talia said, grabbing another sandwich and a slice of cake. They all sat down, each one visibly trying in his or her own way to get past the tension of the situation. Talia sat against Four’s chest and tried to relax. She knew what needed to be done, but she really didn't want to do it. 

 

“So I was thinking,” Will said. 

 

“Uh oh,” The group said together. Laughter ensued. 

 

“Ha ha,” Will said with a smile. “So if we scan my brain today and find the chip, I can fast tonight and tomorrow we can remove it.” 

 

“Are you ready to be scanned now or do you want to chill some more?” Talia asked, relieved to be able to put off performing the exacting and risky surgery removing the chip would need.

 

“Now.” Will’s voice rose a little. “Ehem. I mean now.”

 

“Are you sure you want to do this, Will?” Christina asked. 

 

“I'm sure. If we can't find anything, we can just get a transfer and check them too. Kinda like a blind study or something.”

 

“Will, honey,” Christina sighed. They could see her holding in her fear. “Your Erudite is showing.”

 

“Ok, let’s get to work,” Talia said as she stood up. 

 

“Phoenix,” whispered Four. “Please be careful, he's  _ my  _ best friend.” 

 

“I'll be careful,” Talia replied. Fear and adrenaline coursed through her body. She shook her hands as if her fingers were numb. Rolling her shoulders back she tried to calm down but to no avail. 

 

The scan went well, and Talia found exactly what she was looking for. The chip was there in his brain stem. She noted its exact location, then removed his actual tracker. 

 

“Well, is it there?” Will asked. 

 

Talia sighed. “Yeah, it's there.” She sat down. “Will, I'm not sure I can remove it. This could kill you, and I don’t want to be the one who crushes all of us, especially Four and Christina.”

 

“But can you do it or not?” he asked. 

 

“Maybe I can, but honestly, I'm not medically trained and this is bigger than taking out a tracker.”

 

“I'm trained,” said Trevor, to her surprise. “Wanted to be a doctor at one time. I was allowed to study with Erudite without being in Erudite.”

 

“Well, I'll be damned,” Four said. 

 

“How did you manage that?” Talia asked. 

 

“Funny you should ask.” Trevor chuckled. “When you were taken back, I asked permission to study to be a doctor, told Jeanine it would give Amity a doctor on site and she wouldn't have to send one every time someone got sick. Jeanine agreed, and I was allowed to study. I performed my first surgery two days before you and I joined Dauntless.”

 

“Can I trust him?” Will whispered in Talia's ear. 

 

“He's saved my life before, so yes, you can trust him,” Talia said. 

 

“Saved your life?” Four asked, overhearing

 

“Y'all know the bulk of my shitty past, but there was one thing I never told anyone. But Trevor knows.” Talia sighed. “You're right, Four, the fan is on. One night I came back in from a beating, tired of fighting to stay alive. Eric had done a number on me, and I wanted things over.”

 

“You tried suicide?” Christina whispered, tears streaking her face.

 

“Yes.” The shame and embarrassment of her admission made her want to run, but Christina grabbed her in another fierce hug. 

 

“T never had it easy, that's for sure. I patched her up that night. Will, am I doing this?” Trevor asked. “It's your choice.”

 

“Is there someone in Erudite that we can trust to assist you?” Will asked. 

 

“Yes,” Four answered, obviously able to think of someone immediately.

 

“Blake.” Trevor said the name, and Talia could feel the relief from her friends. 

 

“I'll send him a message that he needs to be here in a few hours for prep,” Four said. He left to go send the message, but not before he gave Talia a kiss that left her breathless. 

 

Within a few hours, Blake was in Dauntless and looking for Talia. 

 

“Triage,” said a guard. 

 

“Yes?” Talia’s eyes widened looking past the guard to the man standing next to him. Next to Four, he was the sexiest man she'd ever seen. 

 

“I was asked to come here.” Blake’s baritone voice resonated through Talia's body. She remembered running her fingers through his jet black hair. 

 

“Good to see you, Blake.” She smiled. She turned to Christina, who was also sizing him up. 

 

“Triage?” Blake said. “That’s an interesting name. Please tell me you're not performing this surgery?”

 

“Nope,” Talia responded. “Trevor is.”

 

“Good,” Blake huffed. “How much prep time do we have, and where are we doing this?”

 

“Will needs to fast overnight, so you and Trevor get what you need from medical. I think we should all wake around 5, and then you can remove the chip,” Talia explained. 

 

“Chip? As in  _ the _ chip? You want me to perform a major surgery here?”

 

“Yes,” said Four as he walked back in. “Can you assist Trevor?”

 

“Four?” Blake jumped. Talia watched him size Four up.

 

“Hey, Blake, how have you been?” Four returned.

 

“Missing home,” Blake said, looking at Trevor.

 

“You’re welcome back any time,” Trevor said before Four could speak.

 

“Four, you need to know a few things,” Blake said. 

 

“I'm listening.”

 

“I overheard Jeanine telling someone, I don't know who, that taking her daughter needed to happen faster than it was. Who is Jeanine’s daughter? All I know is that she's in Dauntless.”

 

“That would be me. Hey, Blake,” Talia said, sticking her hand out. “My name is Talia Matthews. Nice to to meet you.”

 

“Are you serious?” Blake went white as a sheet.

 

“Yes,” Talia responded. Blake grabbed her in a tight hug.  _ Lots of hugs today. I have friends.  _

 

“We’re guessing you have a message?” Christina asked. “We've been getting them lately.”

 

“No message,” Blake said with a puzzled frown. 

 

“Good.” Christina added grabbing Will’s arm. 

 

“Ok, Trevor, let's go prep, and Will, no more food for you.” Blake said. Talia noticed that Blake took Trevor's hand instead of waiting for him to follow. Perhaps her suspicions about Blake were correct. 

 

“Come on, babe,” Christina said, sliding her hand into Will’s hand. “It's time I distract you from hunger.”


	23. Release

Seeing Blake brought up a few memories. Mostly of her being in a medicated haze, but she remembered his kiss, her fingers combing through his hair, his admission that he preferred guys, and her broken heart. Blake was with Trevor at the moment preparing for Will’s surgery in the morning, and Talia needed to release her energy and get past those memories. 

 

_ “Blake, we need to talk,” Talia said after she found him kissing Trevor in a dark corner.  _

 

_ “Ok,” He said. “I’ll be right back, don’t move.” He kissed Trevor again, hard and turned his attention to Talia. _

 

_ “Can it wait for a minute or twelve?” he asked. _

 

_ Talia, glanced back at Trevor who was breathing heavily. “Yeah, sorry. Didn’t mean to interrupt. I’ll be in the training room beating a bag. _

 

_ “Thanks.” Blake said and disappeared into the shadows. About an hour later Blake returned. _

 

_ “You wanted to talk?” Talia jumped and about knocked the bag with her face.  _

 

_ “Yeah,” she said steading the bag. “About that time in…” _

 

_ “Right.” Blake said scratching the back of his head. _

 

_ “I’m sorry. I never meant it to be awkward between us. But seeing you again, brought it all back up. I mean, I knew you were my doctor and that you were gay, but I felt the need to kiss you. I’m truly sorry.” _

 

_ “It was weird, but honestly Triage, I’m not worried about it. It happened and it’s over. I still love you as part of my family and I’m taking your advice and telling Trevor how I feel. One night with him was not enough.”  _

 

_ They both laughed. “I’m going to find Four,” Talia said, jogging back to her shop. _

 

 

 

She felt a slight drop in the temperature inside Dauntless HQ on her way to find Four. “Hey, Four?” She touched his arm. 

 

“You ok, Phoenix?” Four whispered, wrapping a protective arm around her waist and looking at her with concern. 

 

“I'm going out for a bit.”

 

“Be careful.” Four kissed her cheek. 

 

“I will.” She turned to go outside. 

 

 

 

Four watched as she walked away, hoping she was ok. It was a good sign that she wasn’t running. A clap on his shoulder and startled him.

 

“Four,” Blake said. “May I give you a piece of advice concerning Triage?”

 

“If you think it will help.” he responded.

 

“Don’t lie to her.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Caleb once told her that he loved her, and she was on cloud nine. However after they had sex, which resulted in one of her worst beatings, he threw her away like garbage. I had never seen her that broken.”

 

“I want him to suffer for what he did to her.” Four admitted. “How much do you know?”

 

“Only what I saw and what she told me through a haze of drugs they pumped into her. How much do you know?”

 

“I know enough.” Four said.  “Do you know her plan?”

 

“Revenge,” Blake responded. “Revenge for what happened to her and for what happened to Tris. Tris was her mentor her first years here.”

 

“How do you know?” Four asked.

 

“She wrote me. I treated her like my little sister.”

 

 

 

It was time to be alone. But if the temperature had dropped outside and it was indeed about to rain, she needed to take her jacket home. Didn’t need her knives rusting. She couldn’t completely disarm, though;  she kept the one in her pocket.

 

Stepping outside, Talia filled her lungs with the damp air. She pushed her memories aside and looked towards The Hub and Erudite Headquarters. Her mind raced through ideas about how she would go back and why she even needed to. They could always go in en masse and take Jeanine by force. Thought Talia was pretty sure that was a suicide mission.  

 

She started her run. Four was kind and gentle. His words were corrective not abrasive. If she made a mistake doing something he didn’t yell, he corrected and moved on. He never harped. Four was passion and power, fighter and lover, he was leader and friend. But most of all he was her’s. When she turned her head and could only see the lights from the top of the train tracks, she turned around and ran back. 

 

The burn in her lungs made her truly think about her past. All the shit her mother did and her broken self (or so she thought). Caleb damaged her body and her sense of confidence and her trust in her judgement of others, especially from a romance standpoint. Hell, her heart had even fractured over Blake. But what about Four? He made her feel worthy. Her reaction to his voice sent thrills to her core. Lust after Four, oh hell yes. But love? She was pretty sure she truly loved him. Her confidence was shaky but at least with Four she knew she could rebuild herself.

 

Inhaling the damp air again, she caught his intoxicating scent: mind and wind. 

 

“Thank god,” she breathed. 

 

“Talia, love.” Four wrapped his arms around her from behind as the rain started to fall. “You ok?”

 

_ Love. Yes! It's real, I can feel it.  _ “I'm ok now.” All doubt was gone. She twirled around and kissed him.

 

“What is with you and the rain?” he asked. 

 

“It's cleansing,” she said. 

 

“What happened?” he asked. 

 

“In a medicated haze I kissed Blake. Long before I met you, I kissed him, and the memories came rushing back. I knew he was gay, but it didn't stop me from kissing him.I knew he was  my doctor, but something inside made me want to kiss him and I did. He and I never really talked about until tonight. I came out here to think.”

 

Four looked at her and smiled, “You had doubts about us?”

 

“Yes,” Talia admitted. 

 

“So did I.”

 

“What?”

 

“The other day when I went and talked to Tris, I yelled because I doubted everything I felt for you. I questioned if having sex with you was right or wrong. Whether loving you was in my best interest, and even if this whole plan that you have is worth it.”

 

“And what is your conclusion?” Talia braced herself for heartache. 

 

“If I didn't truly love you I wouldn't be here, standing with you in the rain.”

 

“Yes.” Talia sighed. 

 

“And your conclusion about me?”

 

“That in the midst of all my heavy shit you've stayed. And that nothing will ever change the fact that the love I felt for you that first training day hasn't diminished one bit; it's becoming stronger with each passing day. This plan scares me, I won't lie about that, but I know I'm not alone.”

 

“I'm not running,” he said, pulling her hair away from her ear. “Unless it's with you.”

 

She took his hand and guided him to the nearest building. Grabbing the bottom rung of the fire escape, they climbed to the roof. When they reached the roof, Talia didn't wait for Four to speak; she kissed him with all her desire. 

 

“I love you,” she said. 

 

“I love you,” he answered back stroking her back. “What’s wrong?”

 

“I'm scared.” 

 

“I can tell,” he said. “Your kiss said good-bye.”

 

“I'm not ready to leave. I don't want to leave, but I don't see any other option.” 

 

“What's your plan?”

 

Talia sat down in a puddle, she was about to get up when Four sat down with her. He stretched his legs round her and she laid her legs on top of his. After several more minutes of kissing she got her nerve back. 

 

“How is it that you can get me to talk?”

 

“Because I think you want to tell me. But let me tell you this.” He kissed her again. “Tris never told me anything. She left without telling me her plans, her feelings, nothing. She kept it all to herself. I think that's why we; Will, Chris, and myself have tried so hard to help. And you've accepted us.”

 

“You accepted me,” she interrupted. 

 

“I told you I fell in love with you almost immediately. I'd go with you into Erudite headquarters if you asked, but then I'd miss out on rescuing you.” He kissed her forehead.

 

Talia glared at him and then saw the broad smile across his face and knew he was joking. She opened her mouth to say something but her thought was interrupted by his lips. 

 

 

Talia lay down, allowing the rain to splash her face, but fear got a hold on her again. She started shaking, and Four laid his body over hers, protecting her from everything as he always did. “Look at me, love,” he said.

 

When Talia's eyes locked with his he went on, “You're still with me. We can and will do whatever needs to be done. I know it doesn't remove your fear, but let me help.”

 

“Do you have a plan? Cause I think mine is mess. I know what I want to have happen but I’m lacking in the execution.”

 

“Do you want to hear about it now, later, or with our friends?”

 

“Later.” She rose up and kissed him. “I think you and I have some unfinished business from earlier that needs to be taken care of.”

 

Talia licked his Adam's apple and rolled him over. Goosebumps rose on her skin as she kissed his collarbone and nipped at his ear. Four pulled her shirt off and put it under his head. Her hands slid under his shirt as the kiss deepened.  _ Can't. Get. Enough.  _

 

Four rolled them over so that he was on top. Taking his shirt off, he trailed kisses from her ear to the top of her pants. One hand glided across her waist as the other raised her bra over her breasts. He kissed the underside of the left breast before his mouth covered her nipple. She gasped and her core vibrated. Four’s knee was rubbing her. Her nails scraped down his back, which brought out a groan from him. 

 

“Talia,” he sighed. 

 

“Don't stop, Four,” she said as her fingers found the button on his pants. She could feel his length bulging against his zipper, and removed his pants as quickly as she could. Four pulled up a little, “Leave the shoes,” she said rolling them over again in the other direction. Her hands fumbled with his boxers as he tried to pull her pants down. Then she wrapped her mouth around the tip of his erection, and Four hissed. As her tongue slid up the vein, he groaned. 

 

“Talia, if you keep doing that I'm not going to last long.” Four thrust his hips and hissed again when Talia released him. He tried to reciprocate, but she didn’t give him a chance.

 

She lifted herself onto his erection, and he filled her in one thrust. She met him thrust for thrust, tilting her head back in pure ecstasy. Four rose up and pulled her shoulders down to get deeper while he continued to cover her body with kisses and nips. Each nip brought Talia closer to orgasm; she could feel her core tighten around him and wanted nothing more than to scream out his name. She wrapped her arms around his neck, too breathless to scream after all, and gasped his name into his ear as she climaxed. It apparently was his undoing, because he climaxed a second later. 

 

“I love you, Talia. You mean more to me than anything in this world,” he said as the last crest of his orgasm subsided. 

 

“I love you,” she replied. “You mean more to me than life itself.”

 

“Promise me one thing?”

 

“Name it.” 

 

“Come back to me.”

 

She hugged him tighter. “I promise.”  _  And I plan on keeping it. _

 

 

(Tomorrow was going to be a long day, between Will’s surgery and Talia telling everyone her plan, she figured she’d be back in Erudite Headquarters within the next two weeks. But she wasn’t going to think on it just now. Right now she was going to curl up on top of or next Four and sleep for as long as she can.)  

 

When Talia woke up Four was stroking her back. “We should get inside.” He said. 

 

Talia nodded. Getting dressed and going back into Dauntless, was pulling at Talia. This was going to be a long day and would soon prove to be a hard week. 

 


	24. It's On

While Will was in surgery, Talia, Christina, and Four waited in Talia’s shop. Four grabbed a book while Christina paced.

“Hey Chris, want to help me?” Talia asked, hoping that a project would keep her mind off of the surgery and things yet to come. But first, Christina’s pacing had to stop.

“I'll help, but I'm not sure how good I'm going to be,” Christina replied.

“No worries.” Talia smiled as an idea popped into her head. “I need a few steel rods and we can have some fun.”

Christina handed her the rods and Talia set to work. Heating up her blowtorch, she crafted four small figures and four rings. _Busy work does wonders._

Once Will was awake and alert, Talia watched as Blake and Trevor left the room holding hands. Then she got busy examining the new chip with Will.

Talia kept looking at the figures and then back at the chip. “So what are you thinking, Talia?” Will asked.

“I have a plan, but it's a bit chaotic, honestly,” she replied.

“Tell us?” Christina asked with a touch of sadness.

“Well, first it involves me coming back home alive. Maybe a little bloody, but alive, so wipe that ‘I'm losing my best friend’ look off your face and work with me on this.”

“Talia,” Four started.

“No,” Talia snapped. “I'm not going to stand here and tell you guys my plan if you don't have any faith that I'm coming back home. I can't do this alone. I need your help.”

“Thank God.” Christina sighed. “Honestly, Talia, I thought you were going to say one thing and do another, like go off alone.”

“Have I ever done that, Chris?”

“No, but--”

“I'm not Tris.” Talia was getting edgy. “I told Four last night that I'm asking for help.”

“Ok,” Christina said.

“I'm not able to do this on my own.” Talia’s fear started to creep back, and she choked up. “I need my brother, my best friend, and my boyfriend to help me and stand by me when this happens.”

Four wrapped her into a hug. “I'm not going anywhere.”

“What are these?” Will asked, picking up a ring and a figure.

“I was bored and restless while you were in surgery. I made these figures and rings out of metal rods. I wasn't planning on the rings, I wasn't even thinking. Just kinda happened,” Talia explained.

Four picked up a ring and slipped it onto the ring finger on his right hand. Talia watched as he twirled it around his finger. “Fits real well.”

Will took one and did the same. “It's a really good fit.”

Talia and Christina took the other two, but instead of the ring finger they slipped theirs onto their middle fingers. The cool of the metal sent a zing through Talia.

Christina tapped Talia's shoulder rapidly. “Ohmygodohmygodohmygod.”

“What?” Talia had never seen Christina act like this.

“The rings.” She smiled. “Oh my god! We take the chip and tracker and place them inside your ring. You're allowed to wear jewelry, right?”

Talia shrugged. “I wore a black band on my finger when I was there. Mother claimed that it made me more feminine. I think--- OH!”

“Uh huh.”

“I get it now.”

“Oh, geez, they're doing that again,” Will sighed.

“I need you, Four, to go separate Blake from Trevor and bring them here,” Talia ordered. “I also need the chip cleaned.”

“Oh boy, she has a plan,” said Will.

“Which borders on chaotic,” finished Four.

The girls laughed.

“Talia?” Will whispered. He was pale, and Talia guessed he'd pass out any minute.

“Get some rest, Will. This could take a while.”

Will nodded carefully, and with Christina’s help, went to lie down. Talia remembered the first night she ever slept in her shop. A few nights later she’d come back with the materials to build a bed. And tonight she was very grateful she had.

The next few days were a blur of activity. Talia crafted several new rings, and was somehow even able to finish the frame of the car. Dauntless members trained harder and longer. Talia sent her friends out periodically to retrieve scrap metal. A week into everything, Talia sent Four to get more scrap.

Four returned a good hour later to find Talia smoothing and polishing the rings she had made, except the one Four was wearing. Her hands glided over the metal. She stopped for a second and grabbed a piece of black metal, heated up the blowtorch, and fused some of it to the underside of the ring she was working on. Christina was sitting on the counter, handing Talia bits of metal, or once even a piece of glass. Talia waited a while for the it to cool, then slipped the ring she was working on over her middle finger and then threw it away. “Too thick.”

“The chip wasn't in the ring , Four,” Talia glanced up. Four was holding something behind his back. She sniffed, “The scrap metal wasn't in the cafeteria either. Talia said looking back down.  “He brought food instead,” she added to Christina, The smell reminded her how hungry she was. She pulled her goggles and gloves off and sat back. Four handed her some water, a sandwich, and a quick kiss.

“Talia?” Christina asked, hopping off the counter. “How did you know Four was here with food?”

“Same way I know where you are in my shop,” Talia answered. “I can smell you.”

“Like a dog smells?”

Talia laughed. “Not really. I developed this keen sense of smell while back in Amity, and I can tell the differences between you three, my mother, Caleb, Trevor, and anyone else.”

“I’m listening,” Christina said clearly wanting more details.

“Well,” Talia sighed. “You smell like orange and cinnamon, Will smells like vanilla and cinnamon, and Four is mint and wind.”

“Your mother?” Christina asked.

“Roses and cedar,” Talia said flatly.

“Caleb?” Four asked.

“Jasmine.” Talia shuddered.

“Trevor?”

“Baby powder.”

“What about Blake?” Four asked.

“He smells sterile. Like the smell in medical.” Talia’s nose wrinkled. “But then again, most of Erudite smells sterile.”

“So what about Becca?” Four asked in honest curiosity.

“She smells foul. Like Peter. Peter smells like sulfur and blood. Not sure how that combination came about, but that’s just what I smell. Most of Peter’s crew smells like him. It’s  kind of disgusting, can we pick something else to talk about?”

Four pulled the ring off his finger and smiled at Talia. “I think I know how this is going to work.”

“Yeah? It's pretty basic, but I've got to figure out a way to hide the chip on the off chance that the ring is removed.”

“So what do we need in order for this to work?” Will asked as he walked back into the group.

“I'm not sure. My plan is to get to Erudite Headquarters about two weeks from today. That should give us plenty of time to perfect the rings and test them.”

“How long do you plan on staying in Erudite?” Four asked, frowning and pulling her close.

“Three to five days,” Talia replied. “I don't want to be away from home for long.” She laid her hand on his chest. “I belong here. I belong with you.”

Four covered her hand with his. “I belong with you.”

_Snap snap snap._ “Earth to Four. Earth to Talia,” Christina said.

“Sorry,” Talia said. “Two weeks, so I guess we get to work.”

“I think I understand the theory behind it, but I'm not sure I can see it,” Christina said. “How would it work?”

“We need to find a way to make the ring strong enough not to break, but thin enough not to be noticeable. I'll make it black to match the one---” Talia stopped.

“Where would it be if you still have it?” Christina asked, understanding immediately.

“Top left drawer in the back,” Talia replied.

“Desk or dresser?”

“Desk.”

Christina took Will’s hand and the two of them left.

Talia looked tired. Between last night and today, Four could see that if she didn't get some more sleep her plan would never work, no matter how brilliant it seemed. “Talia, love, go get some rest. You need a break, and if you're not fully rested your plan won't be at its best.”

Talia laid her head on his chest. “Ugh. But you're right.”

“One thing before you sleep.”

“Hmm?” She was already falling asleep standing up.

“Don't leave me.” Four scooped her up, took her to the back room, and laid her down on the bed.

“Never.” She sighed as she rolled over and fell asleep.

Four went back to the shop and looked at the shop table. Three rings, four figures, the book of Talia's old room in Erudite, and then the food. Picking a ring up again, he rolled it between his fingers, then slapped his hand on the table. He bolted out of the shop and went straight to his old room. As soon as he opened the door, he saw the boxes he was looking for. One at a time, he brought them back to Talia's shop.

Christina and Will came back at some point while Four was bringing back more food.

“We have to stop leaving her alone,” Will said. “One of these days she might think we've abandoned her.”

“She's asleep,” Four said. “Though I'm not sure for how much longer. We were up late last night and then she didn't rest much while you were in surgery. How's your head, by the way?”

“It itches, but at least my headache is gone.” Will replied. “I think we need to talk to Blake about whatever he gave me; maybe it could help Talia in the end.”

“What did he give you?” Four asked as they walked into the shop.

“He said something like a speedy healing serum or something. I'm not sure, but I can say I'd probably still be out of it without it. I don't remember the name, though.”

“It's called ‘Talia’s’,” said Talia, scratching her neck. “If it's what I think it is, my mother tested it on me several times.”

“Talia, honey,” Christina drawled. “I know you’re sneaky but you’ve got to stop scaring me like that.

“Sorry.” Talia yawned.

“What does it do?” Christina asked.

“Heals wounds faster,” Talia answered, grabbing a piece of cake.

“It works from the inside out, helping the body produce cells more rapidly.” Blake added as he and Trevor walked in.

“The problem is that it makes people more tired than usual. Guess it’s because the body is healing itself faster so it requires more sleep.” Talia shrugged.

“Did you sleep ok?” Christina asked.

Four had noticed a change in Talia's attitude. “What's wrong?”

“I slept ok. But I'm trying to get a handle on my emotions again. I spent years hiding how I felt, and then within the last month I've let my feelings come forward. I know I have to close myself off again, but I don't want to.” Talia sank down against a wall. “I know what lies ahead of me, and I don't want to do it.”

“Can we work it so you're not inside as long?” Christina asked. “Maybe two to three days instead of five?”

Talia shook her head. “What we’re doing is risky in and of itself. If Mother has her head on straight, which she always does, she'll be prepared for Dauntless to try to come get me. For us to really keep her off balance, I'd have to be there for a month or two.” Tears began to fall.

“Not gonna happen,” said Four defiantly. “You'll go in, we will come get you, and we will take your mother and Caleb and lock their asses in a cage til Candor can figure out what to do with them.”

“I need to be alone for a few moments,” Talia said, standing up. “Did you get the ring, Chris?”

“Sorry. I got sidetracked.” Christina blushed a little.

Four  wanted to take Talia away for a few and have a moment with her, but her tone and body language gave him the impression that this was not the time.

“I'm going to get my ring and come back here to work. If any of you are still here when I get back, you'll need to leave. I need to think. And my emotions are running too high right now.”

Four stayed behind as when everyone walked out. “Any more of your plan you want to share with me?”

Talia nodded. She spread her arms across the table,  looking at everything that was laid out. “There's so much, but whatever we do we have to make it look convincing.”

“I agree. However, I also think you need to rest. I'm taking you back to our place and we are going to lie down, and I want you to talk to me. We agreed that we'd have no secrets.”

“Ok.” Talia smiled. “Our place?”

“Yes.” He smiled back. “I'll have my assistant move next door whenever I find one.”

Talia walked back to their place holding Four’s hand tighter than usual. She never raised her head once as people greeted them or wanted to stop and chat.

Upon arriving at the door, Talia looked at Four with sadness in her eyes.

“It's gonna be ok love. I promise.” Four brought her head up. “Let's go lay down and then we can talk.”

“I really need to be alone. Give me an hour or so, please?”

“Ok,” he agreed. Get some rest and I'll see you in a little later.”

Talia kissed his cheek and walked into their place alone. Four waited to hear her lock the door. When the bolt slid into place, he went to Christina and Will’s place.

Will opened the door. “Four? What's going on?”

“Grab Chris and come with me.”

“Where?”

“Meet me in Talia’s shop. Get Trevor and Blake on your way.”

“Four?” Christina asked. “What are you planning?”

“Talia wants to put a tracker into the ring, correct?”

“Yeah. What of it?” Will asked as they crossed the chasm.

“What if we were able to put a camera or several cameras into her ring also?”

“Good plan,” said Will.

When they arrived at Talia's shop they were surprised to see Tori.

“Where is she?” Tori grabbed Four by the arms. “Where is Triage?”

“Relax, Tori, she's in bed,” Christina said impatiently.

Tori lowered her voice. “Peter is out of medical and his crew is looking for Triage.”

“Fuck!” Four turned out of Tori’s grip and ran for home.

He ran as fast as he could praying that their door was still locked. It was, and when he entered their place, she was lying in bed.

“Triage.” Four stopped. “Talia, my love, you need to get up.”

“I know.” She sniffed. Had she been crying?

“We have to get you somewhere safe.”

“No. If Mother is here to take me back to Erudite, let her.”

Talia removed her hand from under the pillow. She was wearing a black band on her finger. “I had a feeling this was going to happen. Let them take me and then you come get me.” She lowered her head. “Maybe I am a little like Tris. I didn't tell you this.”

“You are nothing like Tris.” Four pulled her up into a fierce hug and a kiss. “I will come and get you in five days.”

“Make it convincing,” Talia reminded him.

“I will.”

“I love you,” Talia said.

“I love you,” he responded.

They walked to the pit in silence. Dauntless members had gathered around to see what was going on.

“She is a poison to Dauntless. Triage is the daughter of Jeanine Matthews, the same woman who forced us to kill _our_ _friends_ in Abnegation.” Peter was giving a convincing speech.

“Don't say anything,” Talia told Four as they began to make their way through the crowd.

“Jeanine will leave us alone if she is returned,” Peter continued.

Talia walked directly into the center of the pit stopping Peter in his speech. “I'm here, Peter. Mother told you to come get me; how's your chest?”

Peter rubbed his chest over the spot where Talia had stabbed him. “Bind her hands and gag her,” he demanded.

“Hold it!” Blake yelled. “She has the right to say something before being taken into Erudite custody.”

“We don't have the time.” Peter stomped his foot.

“Protocol must be observed,” Blake reminded him.

Talia looked at Trevor's face and could feel his pain. The one he loved was betraying him. She waited to see what Four would do or even what the rest of Dauntless did. Her chest constricted with her next words.

She looked at Four and without a word kissed him, a kiss he didn't return. Looking at her best friend, Talia began to sing:

Farewell good friends whose tender care

has long engaged my love

Your fond embrace are now exchanged

For better friends above.

Christina grabbed her tightly. “I'm coming for you,” she whispered in Talia's ear.

The rest of Dauntless began to sing as Rachel bound Talia's hands and Becca silenced her with the gag.

I'm a long time traveling here below

I'm a long time traveling away from home

I'm a long time traveling here below to

Lay this body down.

“I can't wait to be the one who whips you first,” Rachel said.

When Talia jerked, Becca grabbed her close. “Your singing is making Dauntless weak.”

Talia just glared at both of them. _Stay strong. Don't fight. Yet._

Heavy hands gripped her arms as Peter and his crew led her out of Dauntless.

The pit was silent as the grave then. All Four could hear was the water in the chasm, but he was waiting for the door to close. When he heard the _click_ of the door, he stepped into the center of the crowd.

“Our Phoenix has been taken. You all know your roles. We have five days before we take Phoenix back, and we will raze Erudite to the ground if we have to, but she will be back with us no matter what. I told Talia once the the fan was on and shit was ready to fly.”

The crowd started stomping their feet and shouting.

“It's on!” Four yelled. “Go!”

Dauntless members scattered, leaving Four in a cloud of dust. “It's on, Jeanine.”


	25. Leaving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get to see Jeanine's cruelty. Trigger warning - head trauma.

_The last three days were full of happiness. But a cloud of fear hung over the group every time they parted. Talia spent her days working with her friends to perfect the chips’ readings in her ring, making sure it synced with all the others, and testing its durability in one hell of a game of Capture the Flag (boys vs. girls style). Her last night in Dauntless was spent surrounded by her friends, but most importantly, she spent it wrapped in Four’s arms. There was no sex, but the way he held her as she slept or the way he grazed her arms or waist gave her comfort. She knew in the morning she would be on her way back to Erudite and back into Hell._

_She cried herself to exhaustion that last day as she tried to banish her fear, and through it all Four, Christina, and Will never left her. One of them was always there when she broke down. That last few hours, however, she was alone. Slipping the ring on her left hand middle finger, she fell asleep, only to hear Four bursting into their room after what seemed only a few minutes._

Her bonds were tight, and she was grateful her hands were in front of her. Her mouth was dry from the gag they shoved in her mouth. _Take this gag out of my mouth, Peter, and I'll bite through these damn ropes._

“Finally, out of that hell hole.” Peter stretched. Then punched Talia in the stomach. “That's for stabbing me, you bitch.”

Talia fell to the ground with a gasp. _Ouch!_ _I'm going to kill you with my bare hands, you asshat._

“Take it easy, Peter,” Becca said, touching his arm. “Jeanine wants her unharmed.”

“Let go of me!” He yelled. “No one gets to hurt her but me! I don't care what Jeanine says.”

At that moment the door of a car opened up and Jeanine Matthews stepped out. “Peter, I specifically told you to leave her alone. Why is she bound and gagged?”

Tears ran uncontrollably down Talia's face. Her stomach hurt from Peter’s punch, but fear had her in its grip as well. But then Becca and Rachel hoisted her up, Talia took one look at her mother, and rage pushed fear aside.

“Nice to see you, Talia,” Jeanine said.

Talia bowed her head. She was grateful for the gag this time. Had she actually spoken she'd probably be in much more pain. Defying her mother was going to be easy, but the repercussions would be painful.

“Anything you want to say?” Jeanine asked.

Talia shook her head, knowing she was being baited. _This is going to suck._ She stood tall and defiant; it would be best to get this over with. Hopefully the five days would pass quickly so she could go back home. She took one last look at Dauntless headquarters before being shoved in the car.

Jeanine got in as well, calmly shut the door, and turned her attention to her daughter. “Do we remove the gag or not?”

Again Talia shook her head. _Take this off me and I will try and give you a piece of my mind, you bitch._

“If we take the gag off we can enter Erudite through the front door. Leaving it on would make me have to take you back to your room. Which would you want?”

Talia shrugged in response.

Jeanine shifted the gag ever so slightly. “Make a decision, Talia.”

“You make the choice, mother. Whatever I want is unimportant to you.”

Jeanine put the gag back on and slammed Talia's head into the window of the car. Talia groaned, trying to be as quiet as she could. _Fuck! That hurts._ She was trying to stop herself from getting into old mental patterns.

“Take us to her room,” Jeanine ordered the driver.

The car slowed down enough that Talia felt like a child again. She got brave reminding herself she wasn’t that scared and beaten down child anymore. She had people who loved her and removed her own gag, grateful that when her hand were bound they were placed in front of her. “Would it be possible to get something for my head?”

“What?!” Jeanine yelled. “How dare you remove the gag without permission?”

The car stopped and the driver opened Talia's door first. “How dare _you_ remove me from my home?”

Jeanine lunged for Talia, who did a quick sidestep. “I came here willingly, mother. Maybe you should take that into consideration before you beat me.”

“I never beat you.” Jeanine acted insulted.

“Bullshit!” Talia snapped. “You may not have been the one who held the whip, but you gave the orders.”

Jeanine stood up and straightened her skirt and blouse. “Let's make one thing very clear, Talia.” Jeanine set her jaw, and Talia knew she was in for a tongue lashing, a beating, or both.

“The punishments you received were of your own making. You received your lashes for failures that you had control over.” She turned to the driver. “Take her inside and make sure she's cleaned and dressed appropriately. I don't want anyone to see her wearing Dauntless colors.”

“Ma'am,” The driver said, dipping his head.

He replaced Talia's gag and grabbed her arm. Talia felt him place something in or on her arm.  Once Jeanine was out of sight, the driver began to talk rapidly. “This is day one, Triage. Please be careful. You are not the only one who wants your mother in a cage.”

Talia's eyes grew wide.

“Do you remember your last beating?”

She nodded.

“Someone overheard you telling your mother about your ideas for a new government, living outside the fence, and rebuilding this nation. Or what used to be this nation. We are on your side, and when Dauntless comes for you we will show them where you are.”

Talia's eyes watered. There were people within these walls who cared? Impossible. Everyone was loyal to Jeanine. Right?

As they entered Talia's old room, the driver undid her hands and in a very gruff voice said, “You are not to remove this gag until I leave the room.” But he pulled in for a little hug, saying “Better is he who would lay down his life for a friend.” With that the driver left and Talia was alone.

Why had the driver said that? Was her room still bugged? Knowing her mother there were who knew how many bugs throughout her room, whether audio or visual it didn’t matter; she was in for a rough week.

She removed her gag. “Day One.”


	26. Countdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was difficult to write. 
> 
> Trigger warning. Abuse.

Day 1 Talia

Talia ran to the bathroom and vomited, whether from fear or concussion she wasn't sure. This place bought back terrible memories. The fireplace gave her chills. But instead of thinking about her fear, she changed her clothes into Erudite Blue. Her Dauntless black pants, red undershirt, and boots were not going to leave her body. No matter what her mother said, Talia might look Erudite, but underneath she would always be Dauntless. As she was tucking in her starched, blue, long-sleeved button down shirt, she felt something strange in a pocket. Reaching in, she found her blade. 

“Oh, this could be fun,” Talia whispered with a smile. She knew there were cameras in her room, so she left the blade where it was for the moment, finding it reassuring to know it was there. She grabbed a white vest and left her room, heading to the library. 

_ If I'm gonna be stuck here for five days, I'm going to make myself better. _

People looked at her strangely as she passed; some with wonder, some with joy, and some with hatred. Her arm began to itch where the driver had put whatever it was into or on it. She guessed it had to be inside her arm, otherwise she would have noticed it while she was dressing.  _ What did he give me? It better be that GPS.  _ She tapped the ring in a series of short and long strokes, hoping that what she sent allowed her friends to know she was alive and safe for the moment. 

She stopped at the library attendant’s desk and asked where the American History section was.

“Are you blind?” the attendant asked, not looking up. 

“No,” Talia replied. “I can see perfectly fine, thank you, but I don’t remember where the American History section is. If you will kindly tell me where it is, I’d be grateful.” 

The attendant gave a huge annoyed sigh, and looked up. “It’s…”

“Hi.” Talia smiled.

“Ms. Matthews, I’m so sorry, I've been--”  he stammered.

“Preoccupied?” Talia finished. “Just point me in the right direction, please.”

“I’ll be glad to show you.” The attendant ushered her to her requested section. He pointed to the very last rack of books in the back. When Talia turned into the stacks, the attendant followed. “There aren’t any cameras back here,” he said quietly.

“Umm, thanks,” said Talia. “Would it be possible to get some paper so I can take some notes?”

“Of course, I’ll be back momentarily.” The attendant left in a rush, returning a few moments later with a large notebook. “This was once yours. We’ve been saving it just in case you came back. I’m glad you’re back, Triage.”

“We?” she asked. “Where did you hear that name?”

“It’s a long story, but the short version is that we think there is more corruption here than anyone lets on. We tried to tell Tris, but she had a one track mind, and it got her killed.”

“Can I trust you?”

“In what capacity?”

Those words struck home. She remembered asking Four that same question. His response at the time warmed her heart. She let that feeling fill her emotional bucket to the top.

“I need to send a message, if possible, to someone in Dauntless.”

“I will let Four know you are alive and well.”

“How did you know I wanted to send it to Four?”

“Because. --” The attendant rolled his sleeve up and showed Talia a quarter sized tattoo of the Dauntless Flames on his right forearm. “This is Day One,Triage. I suggest you save your strength. You’re going to need it.” 

Talia spent the next few hours in the library, combing over her notes about new governments and American History. If she truly wanted to start a new government, she needed to make sure she had all the information correct. She just hoped that when Dauntless came storming in they wouldn’t damage the library. A library was an irreplaceable store of knowledge. That was one thing she wanted to do; put a library in each faction. One thing plagued her mind throughout the day, though, refusing to be banished; what would happen to her later tonight. She was frightened because she already knew.

Every now and then a shadow would hover over her, and when she looked up and around it would vanish. Returning to her book, she got lost in the reading.

“There you are.” A voice brought Talia out of her studies. The table was strewn with books and papers everywhere.

“Simone?” 

“Triage, we need to get you dressed for the dinner tonight,” Simone said.

“How’s Caleb?” Talia asked.  __ “How’s his mood?”

“He’s angry with me at the moment.”

“I see,” Talia said, clearing up her mess. “Well, that’ll come down on me later tonight. Thanks for the heads up.”

“Triage, it’s not like that.”

“Hahaha.” Talia started walking back to her room. “It's how it’s always been,  _ Raven _ , I'm the one who pays the price for Caleb’s or Jeanine’s anger. Would you like to see where I lived, where I’ve been placed back into?”

“Ok.” Simone shrugged. 

As they began to walk, Talia returned to her silent observations. She needed to have a good handle on what was really going on here. The driver, library attendant, and now Simone had all called her Triage. Her mother called her Talia, as did others she passed. Did this mean the people who used her Dauntless name meant to support her? Would those who called her Talia try to stop her? Was there some kind of trap in all this?

“Triage, listen,” Simone began. “I want out of here. I want to help you, but Caleb’s anger scares me.”

“I'll deal with Caleb, but as for you getting out of Erudite, that's not my call.” Talia looked at Simone’s arm. The last time she saw her, her arms were burned. This time they weren't. Trick of light, or was Simone playing with her?

“Understood,” Simone replied, tugging at her sleeves. 

As they walked the white halls, Talia decided it was time for some real answers, bugs be damned. Her mother had to have some idea that Talia and her friends had planned a rescue or at least a raid.

“So let me guess, after Caleb burned your arm, the last time I was here, he said he was sorry and said he’d never do it again.”

“Yes.”

“And you believed him. How’d that work out?” Talia laughed. “You asked me once to help you. Do you still want my help or are you just trying to weasel information out of me?”

“I love him,” Simone said.

“Love?” Talia laughed. “Love is kind words, honesty, patience. Love isn’t beating someone simply because they don’t agree with you. He told me he loved me once and then when I didn’t do as I was told I was whipped.”

“Triage, it’s not like that.” Simone said.

“Triage?” Talia repeated. The first time Simone said her name she had let it slide, thinking of their last meeting, but this time it had a punch with a hint of “listen.”

“That is your name, isn’t it?” 

“Outside of Erudite, yes, but while I'm here I have no idea. If you love Caleb so much, you might not want to be around me. It will only anger him more.”

They arrived at the entrance to Talia's quarters, and she could see the confusion in Simone’s face. 

“Triage, this is just a wall.”

“To you it's a wall. To me it's hell.” Talia waved her hands in the air and a door slid open, revealing a spacious living room. The air was full of lavender and foulness. 

“Great,” Talia sighed. “I have company.”

“About time you showed up. Where exactly have you been? You were supposed to report to me.”

“Hello, Caleb.” Talia locked her jaw. 

“I'm waiting for your response, Talia. Simone, you can leave.” Caleb wasn't wasting time. Talia watched Simone leave looking like someone had thrown cold water in her face, and rage narrowed her eyes and clenched her fists. 

Talia wanted to lunge for Caleb’s throat, but when she saw what was in his hand, she stopped herself. “You have no reason to be mad at Simone. You've always taken your anger out on me, so why her?” 

Talia was genuinely curious, but at the same time she was trying to figure out the seemingly changed dynamics among the Erudites.

“That is between me and Simone. Now, answer my questions while Peter removes your shirt.”

Peter started towards Talia with a malicious sneer. 

“Oh, fuck no!” Talia said, raising her hand and taking a step back. “My clothes stay on. If you’re scared enough to want me chained, and too weak to do it yourself, he can do it, but you’re not getting anything else. ” If she made him angry enough, Caleb might lose control enough to betray at least some of his plans.

“Fuck you, Talia,” Caleb yelled. “You will do as I say.”

“I do what I want, and when I want to,” Talia growled. 

Caleb waved that off. Still in control of himself, then. “Now, where were you?”

“I was in the library. I figured mother would want me studying for whatever her grand plan is.”

“You were to report to me when you arrived. I've been looking everywhere for you,” Caleb said, moving to the other room. 

“You didn’t look hard enough.”

Peter latched the manacles Caleb handed him onto her wrists. 

“You know where to go, Talia,” Caleb said, pulling a cat o’ nine tails from the back of his belt. 

Talia turned her head towards the dark room. She began to walk towards the space where they would either hook her up or chain her down on that dreadful table.  _ Why? Why am I doing this? _

“No,” she said, proud that she kept the fear out of her voice.

“Peter, the next time she says no to me, you have permission to hit her.” 

“Oh, you're too kind, Caleb,” Peter said with heavy sarcasm. “I was supposed to be somewhere else by now.”

“Talia, you WILL come in here so you can receive your punishment,” Caleb said, ignoring Peter’s comment.

“No,” she said again. 

Before Peter could raise a fist, Jeanine walked in. “Well,” she huffed. “I was hoping that this would happen after dinner tonight.”

“She didn’t report to me as she was told,” Caleb said defensively. 

“Talia, you need to go to the room,” Jeanine said. 

“No.” 

“Oh, dear,” said Jeanine. “This isn’t your day, is it, Talia?”

“Finally getting the nerve to do it yourself, mother?” Talia knew she was in for it, but go big or die.

“I will not have you speak to me in that tone,” Jeanine said. The tone in her mother’s voice increased Talia’s fear.

Talia swallowed her terror and stood tall and defiant. “Then you don’t know me anymore.”

Jeanine took the manacle chain and looked at Caleb. “Bring the hooks, and we’ll take care of it in here.”

Four Day 1

“Shit, that hurts,” Four said, shaking his left hand. He was at his computer trying to figure out some code.

“You too?” Christina said. 

“Yeah.” He nodded. “It’s like a shock every few seconds or so. Then it’s over. So far I've counted seven.” 

“Yeah,” Christina agreed. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to hack into the Erudite cameras.” Both shook their hands again as another shock went through the rings.  

“Damn! That hurts.”

Four clicked the keys a few more times, and they were suddenly looking at feeds from cameras all over Erudite. They had time for one triumphant grin before Four zeroed in on the feed from Talia’s rooms, and the familiar shock went through their rings just as the whip hit Talia's back. 

“I'm going to kill Peter myself,” Four said, choking back tears.

“Oh my god!” Christina ignored the shocks from the ring and concentrated on Talia's face. She and Four both saw the pain in her expression, and yet with every strike Talia didn't make a sound. 

_ Knock knock.  _

“Open!” Four yelled. 

Will walked in. “Is it just me or does this ring give off shocks?”

“Yeah. Here’s why.” Four moved away from the computer.

Will watched as the whip came down again and again. “Turn it off.” Will turned his head away. “I can’t watch her being hurt like that.”

“I can't turn it off. I need to know she's ok,” Four choked out.

“Does it  _ look _ like she's ok, man?” Will asked. 

“It looks like Jeanine is speaking; do we have audio?” Christina interrupted while the guys glared at each other.

Four clicked more keys, and suddenly they were listening to Caleb and Jeanine.

“Are we done, Talia?”

They didn't hear a response. 

“I could not hear your response, Talia,” Caleb said. 

“It's your decision when my punishment is over. It’s nothing to do with me. You made all this up. I did nothing to deserve it.” Her voice was full of pain but a hint of disdain too. Four and company were proud to hear it.

“Oh, I think you did,” Jeanine said, now starting to sound really angry. Four grabbed his desk. “Five lashes for each year you were in Dauntless, one lash for stabbing Peter in the chest, two lashes for not reporting to Caleb, and now two more for your attitude. We’ll take that look off your face.” 

Four could see the sneer on Jeannie's face.

The whip struck twice more as the three of them felt each lash through their rings. They watched as Caleb unhooked Talia's chains, and Caleb, Peter, and Jeanine walked out of the room. Four screamed in rage when Talia collapsed on the floor.

Christina backed away, but then immediately grabbed him in a hug. “We're going to get through this. She can do this.”

“Let go of me!” 

“No,” said Will, grabbing Four in a one-armed hug from behind. 

“She's in pain and I'm helpless!” 

“Four, it’s just a few more days.”

“I told her I'd come for her. And I can’t move.”

“Four, if you can hear me, she's alive and…” said a voice.  _ Blake’s voice! Thank god! _ “I am her attending physician.”

There was a whisper in the background, too faint to make out words. 

“She says she loves you.” Blake held Talia up so she could look into the camera and they could see her. 

“One down,” Talia said, barely audible. “Four to go.”

“Be careful, my friends,” Blake said straight into the camera. “I'm not sure how long you'll be able to see or hear anything. Be careful.”

Day 2 thru 4

Four woke up and turned the computer on, finding he was now unable to access Erudite’s audio or visual feeds. He tried to hack his way back in, but everything he tried failed. Erudite must have figured out they could be hacked, and blocked him. He was scared for Talia, but he knew she would never forgive him if they showed up too early. A knock on the door distracted him.

Four opened the door and found Trevor wringing his hands. 

“Trevor? What’s wrong?” Four asked.

“I’m here to ask forgiveness. Talia, I mean Phoenix, used to say it’s better to ask forgiveness than permission.”

“Hahahahah.” Four gave a big laugh. “She would say that, wouldn’t she. What’s wrong, Trevor?”

Trevor spoke very fast. “I went into the control room and hacked into Erudite and we have control of all the cameras in Talia’s room. I even made sure that we have audio too.” 

“You what?” Four asked, confused. “Is that why I can’t see anything?”

“I’m sorry, Four. I blocked everyone from their computers, saying the system is down for maintenance. I needed to know she was ok. Blake is there as well; I needed to know he was ok too,” Trevor admitted.

“You know, I might be upset at the fact you went in control without permission, but to be honest, I’m grateful. Phoenix needs to be proud to call you friend, and in fact I think she considers you a brother. You know more about her than most of us. So what was our girl doing this morning?”

“She started stirring an hour ago, which is why I came here. I also brought you her favorite sandwich.”

“Thanks,” Four said, taking a bite. He grabbed a piece of sticky paper and wrote a note to Will and Christina, smiling as he slapped it on their door.

He and Trevor walked quickly to Control and found that Talia was really starting to wake up now.

Four moved the camera in her room to zoom in on her back. “Why did I put her through this?” 

“This was Talia’s idea,” Trevor reminded him.

Her back was streaked with whip marks, but there was no blood. “No blood. Did Blake use the healing serum on her?”

“I’m not sure. He must have, unless they didn’t whip her very hard,” Trevor said.

“We felt it. Every lash.”

“You felt the lashes? How is that possible?” Trevor asked. 

“Through the rings,” Four said. “But I have no idea how.”

Trevor and Four were joined a few hours later by Christina and Will. 

“Got your message,” Christina said with a sad smile. “That was a good night.”

Four could see that Christina was reliving the night where Christina slapped a note on Talia's door and then Talia returned the same slap later. 

“It was, but we have other things more pressing than walking down memory lane, Chris,” Four said. 

“What’s the plan for today?” she asked.

“I’m going to have Trevor watch what is happening to Phoenix and Blake from here, and the three of us are going to plan a  _ harvest.” _

“Oh, shit.” Trevor gave a short laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Will asked.

“Harvest Time,” Trevor said. “You’re going to pull the biggest and baddest weed from Erudite.”

Four nodded with an evil smile on his face. “Come hell or high water, Phoenix will be back with us soon.”

That night they all gathered in the control room to watch Peter whip, punch, and burn Talia. And this time Four noticed that her back was bleeding. With each strike of the whip, all of them but Trevor winced and shook their hands. 

“You’re going to regret this, Peter,” Trevor said. 

“Three to five days,” murmured Four. “I want everyone in the pit first thing in the morning.”

“We’re going in early?” Will asked. “This is only the second night.”

“Nope,” smiled Four. “12:01 on day five. She never said what time to come get her on day five.” 

Talia woke up on day four consumed by white hot pain. She had never even crawled under the covers after the last beating. She watched as someone moved around her room. She hoped it was Blake, but her vision was too blurred to be sure. Concussion, she thought fuzzily, and one too many hits to the face.

“Help?” She coughed. 

“Thank God you're awake.” Blake sighed. “Triage, there’s not much time. You have two options: salve or serum.”

“How long?” Talia started crying. “This hurts.”

“It's day four,” Blake said, taking the salve and rubbing her calf down with it. 

Talia stiffened and gripped the blanket as Blake rubbed her other calf with the salve. “Day  _ Four? _ ” 

“Yeah,” Blake said. “I'm still surprised that Jeanine let you sleep like that. Granted, the sun isn't even up yet, but I'm pretty sure you'll have to come up with some excuse for not seeing her yesterday.”

“Bandage?”

“I will.”

“Thanks.” Talia had to get dressed. “Anything we can do that won't make my clothes stick to me?”

“Triage, all I can do is give you the serum.” Blake stopped her before she could protest. “I know how it works, but it’s the best solution we have.”

“Fine.” She sighed. “I have to report to Caleb. Pray I don't kill him.”

Blake looked at her and smiled. “Better is he who would lay down his life for a friend.”

“What?” she asked. 

“Dauntless is coming for you. Pay attention,” Blake said as he bandaged her back and legs and injected her with the healing serum. “You have been betrayed by someone who you once called friend.”

Instantly Talia got sleepy.  _ I have to fight this.  _

“Get dressed,” Blake whispered.

“Right.” Talia began to get dressed, gasping every time her clothes touched her back or legs, even through the bandages. “More pain.”

Talia walked (slowly) to the library, as she did every day, and the attendant handed her all the notes she had taken. But today something was off. She noticed that several Erudite members had their sleeves rolled up. No one in Erudite would do that. Her mother frowned upon anyone who was not groomed properly. 

She walked by a young woman whose right forearm was tattooed, but not with just any tattoo. She had the Dauntless Flames. 

“Triage,” the woman said with a nod.

“Hi,” Talia replied hesitantly.

“Talia!” Someone screamed, the noise tearing through the peace of the library. “Where the hell are you?”

Talia waited to see if anyone rolled their sleeves back down, and when no one did, she finally realized she was really not alone in Erudite. Her family was coming. But how was Dauntless able to get this many Erudites on their side?  _ Must ask Four if he planned this. _

“Talia!”

That voice brought her back to the present. She made her way to the very back of the library, setting her bundle on a table. Under the portrait of her mother stood Peter (the one who’d been screaming) and Caleb. 

“Is there a reason you didn't report to your mother yesterday?” Caleb demanded loudly. 

“Is there a reason you are shouting in a library in front of all these people?” Talia looked Caleb directly in the eye. “I do hope that my mother knows that you have disrupted the studies of her members. Do you think she’ll appreciate…”

Without approval Peter slapped Talia, then punched her in the stomach. Chairs began scraping the tile around her as she fell to the floor. She guessed people were leaving, but she didn't dare look around. 

“Taking after Jeanie, Caleb.” She coughed as she got back up. “Using someone else for your dirty work.”

This time Caleb slapped her. “Don't you ever compare me to your mother. If I was half of what she is---”

“You'd still be a prick who allowed his mentor to murder his own family.”

“Gag her!” 

Talia watched Peter look around frantically for something that might make a good gag. 

“What are you gonna do, Caleb?” she taunted. “Gag me and have me dragged through Erudite, telling people that I’ve been bad and this will be what happens to them if--”

Peter grabbed a handkerchief from his back pocket and shoved it in Talia's mouth. The taste made her gag, and she ripped it right back out. “God, Peter, do you ever bathe?”

All Talia remembered after that was Peter lunging towards her. When she woke up, she was hanging from the hook in her living room with a pounding headache. “Well, at least I know what's going to happen now.”

“And what would that be?”

“Mother,” Talia said. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Your outburst in the library,” Jeanine said. “You had no reason to talk to Caleb that way.”

“He had no reason to shout in a library,” Talia retorted. “There were people studying.”

Jeanine slapped her. “Hold your tongue.”

“You're the one who wants her people to study every waking minute.”

“Talia!” Jeanine yelled. “I'm losing my patience with you.”

Talia hung there in silence. _If I'm going to die I'm going to be strong._ But something occurred to her. “What's the time?”

“Excuse me!”

“The time, mother. My watch was taken from me when I got here. I'd like to know what time it is?” 

Jeanine groaned, “It’s five o’clock in the afternoon.” she sneered. “Almost dinnertime. You’ve been here all day.”

“Thank you.”

“Now --” Jeanine stopped. “Why did you want to know the time?”

Talia thought fast. “I was wondering if I get to eat before you -- sorry.” Talia shook her head. “I mean, before you have Caleb or Peter come back in here and do whatever you tell them.”

“And if I say no to dinner?”

“Wouldn't be the first time,” Talia spit out. That earned her a backhanded slap on the left side of her face. 

“What is Dauntless planning?” Jeanine asked. “And choose your words carefully, Talia.”

“How the hell should I know what Dauntless is planning? I've been here.” Jeanine slapped her so hard she spun around on the hook.

_ Simone. Had to be.  _

The door slid open and Blake walked in with her dinner. If he looked at her she never knew. Her vision doubled, then tunneled, and then vanished into darkness.

“Gather everyone up,” Four told Trevor. “Tell them it's time for the Harvest.” 

“It's too early,” Trevor said. 

“She said three to five days. We are within that range, and I can't stand her being in there any longer.”

“Ok,” Trevor said, and ran off. 

Four gathered his weapons and went to stand in the pit. Dauntless members began to converge on the pit in full gear: guns, knives, and a handful of people had grenades. Silence fell on the pit. 

“Our Phoenix was taken four days ago. She is expecting us tomorrow, but I've seen how all of you have acted without her. I think it's time we pay Erudite a visit. There are four things we are after: Jeanine Matthews. She is to be apprehended; restrain her and put her ass in a cage. Caleb Prior; again, restrain him, bring him back here, and throw his ass in a cage. Peter: I want him dead. He's tainted Dauntless enough already. Kill on sight. Our biggest priority is Phoenix, or Talia, or Triage, whatever you know her by she is the priority.”

“Are we just going to walk into Erudite and take her?” someone asked. 

“How do we know this isn't an Erudite trap?” asked another. 

“Because Phoenix has friends,” Christina answered. She took her place next to Four. “There are several people in Erudite with the Dauntless flame tattoo on their forearms. We don't know how or who did them, Blake told us that they will help us find Phoenix and protect her on the way out.”

“And what do they want in exchange?” someone asked. 

“They want out,” Will said, coming to stand on the other side of Four. “We've lost members since Peter left. They were bad eggs to begin with. Those with the flame tattoo want to join our ranks because they believe in Phoenix’s vision.”

“And that is?” 

Four answered. “A new life, outside the fence.”

“That being said,” Christina said. “She is Dauntless.”

Feet started stomping and hands clapping. The cheers and whoops grew louder in Four’s ears. “It's Harvest Time!” he yelled, and followed by a crowd of Dauntless, he ran for the street level.


	27. Rescue

Phoenix woke up on the floor.

“If your mother finds out I’m loyal to you and Dauntless, she’ll kill me.”

Phoenix smiled.

“In case you were wondering,” Blake said. “I hid in your kitchen until your mother left. Then I took you down from the hooks.” 

“Thanks,” Phoenix said, pushing herself into a sitting position. “How long was I out?”

“About an hour.”

“Damn, I hurt just about everywhere. Surprise, surprise.”

“Phoenix, I need you to listen to me and listen closely,” Blake said. “Dauntless is on their way. When I leave here I'm not sure I can come back until they get here.”

“Phoenix?” Phoenix raised her eyebrows. 

“You are the Phoenix. Tris was right, you can bring Dauntless back to its former glory, and yet those of us in Erudite are right as well in that you can rebuild this whole nation. I've taken the bag of your notes, plans, and ideas back to Christina.”

“How?” Phoenix asked.

“You're going home soon.” Blakes said ignoring her question.

Blake kissed her forehead and left.  _ Phoenix? I think it's truly time I take the name.  _

The door slid open and Caleb, Peter, and Sebastian walked in. She expected the first two but Sebastian was a wild card. He held the cat o’ nine tails, only this one had rocks, glass shards, and thorns attached to the lashes. More pain than she’d ever felt was in her immediate future. 

“So to what do I owe this pleasure?” Phoenix made sure her voice just oozed with sarcasm. 

“Stand up,” Sebastian commanded. Phoenix didn't budge. 

“Stand up!” He yelled and cracked the whip. Peter lit the coals in the fireplace and placed a poker in the flames. 

Calmly Caleb said, “Stand up, Phoenix.”

_ He's calm? Oh fuck.  _ Phoenix stood up and waited for the next instruction. 

“Your mother is upset.”

“And I'm supposed to care?”

She had a moment’s notice, and she twisted her back just enough to avoid being struck fully. She flinched as the ends hit her back. 

“Who took you down?” Caleb asked. 

“I don't know,” she replied. “When I woke up I was on the floor.” 

There was a rumble of thunder outside. “Hmmm,” said Caleb. “I didn't think it was going to rain today.”

“I'll go make sure that’s what it is,” Sebastian said, handing the cat off to Caleb. A small smile crept across Phoenix’s face. Blake was right, Dauntless was coming.

“Hang her up,” Caleb ordered. 

“You hang her up,” Peter fired back. This went on for several minutes.

“Oh, both of you shut up,” Phoenix said. “You both act like a bunch of Candor arguing.” 

“I was Candor,” growled Peter. He grabbed Phoenix's manacle chain and hung her up. Pulling brass knuckles out of a pocket, he punched Phoenix in the back. 

“Sssss,” Phoenix hissed. “Your punches are stronger with the help of those, Peter.” Gasping but focusing on keeping them as off-balance as possible.

“I know,” Peter gloated, punching her again. “Been saving them for you.” She watched him eye his weapon.

Instead he grabbed Phoenix’s waist and held her still. Caleb drew something something on her back and Phoenix began to scream. Caleb was sawing into her flesh.

“What is Dauntless planning?” Caleb asked.

“I don’t know!” Phoenix screamed.

“Liar!” Caleb shouted, striking her in the back where he was cutting. Phoenix screamed again.

Caleb started his sawing again. Phoenix’s vision started to tunnel again, blackness waiting to swallow her up. 

“We’re under attack,” shouted Sebastian, storming into the room.

Phoenix smiled.  _ He’s coming for me. _

Caleb dug the knife into her back. She managed to choke back the scream this time.

“Sebastian and Peter.” Caleb glared. “Deal with her. Her mother is pissed, and clearly Phoenix needs to be punished for this attack. She lied to me and her mother, but if she begs for forgiveness, then you can stop.”

Peter smiled menacingly and Sebastian ripped the knife out. That brought another scream out of her mouth. 

Her tears wouldn't stop. “I'm going to kill you both.”

She never saw Peter pull the poker out of the fire. Her arms were getting tired, but she felt air on her calves.  _ Shit!  _

The poker touched her calves, but they didn't burn. The salve must have given her a bit of protection. She heard the coal move and guessed one of them had put the poker back into the flames. If only she could reach for her knife. 

She heard the scream and wondered who was screaming. Her throat was going dry and sore; she was the one screaming. Her calves were on fire, at least that's what it felt like. 

“What is Dauntless planning?” Caleb was in total control. His voice didn't waver, his hands were steady, and his eyes fixed on Phoenix. 

Through her tears she locked her eyes on his. Her pain was trying to overcome her. “Go to hell.”

Caleb sighed. “Sebastian, I don't think the poker is working. Stand back and I'll take it from here.”

Phoenix relaxed. As she had hoped he would, Sebastian came to stand directly in front of her. She started running scenarios in her head.  _ If Caleb hits me hard enough I can reach Sebastian and try and hurt him. If he hits me with enough force maybe I can swing my legs up and strangle him.  _

The whip came down hard and fast. Phoenix screamed until her voice failed as warm liquid dripped from open wounds. 

Blake was running towards the Dauntless raiders, firing at Erudite guards faster than Christina or Will could reload their guns. 

Four held his gun steady and aimed for Blake’s head. Blake ran straight for them. “Phoenix lives.”

“Say it again,” Four said coolly. 

Blake bent over a few minutes, getting his breath. Standing back up, he walked up to the gun and put his forehead on the barrel. “Phoenix lives.”

“Where is she? The tracking device the driver gave her must be screwed up. We've been looking all over the place.”

“The driver is dead,” Blake said. “And whatever tracker you gave her was removed.”

Four raised his eyebrows. 

“I had no choice,” Blake said, staring at the floor. “I had four guns pointed at my head! But I gave you a way to tell what was happening.”

“You?” asked Will. 

“I took the tracker, and under the ruse of checking the ring, I was able to place the tracker there.”

“Well, that explains a lot,” Christina scoffed. “It’s been giving us shocks every time she receives a hit on her body.”

“It was the only way I could make it work. I'm sorry.”

“Take us to her,” Four said. 

“Make it convincing,” Blake said in a resigned voice.

“Oh, I will.” Four tightened his jaw. He grabbed Blake and threw him up against the wall. “Who betrayed her?”

“A girl named Simone and her brother Silas,” Blake gasped. “They would pass information to each other through old technology called morse code.”

“We’ll deal with them later,” Four said. “Take us to Phoenix. Now.”

Phoenix was doing everything she could to stay awake. Every ten lashes the poker would touch her legs or the open wound Caleb had created. Minutes ticked by, and each time she wanted to pass out she would remember what she wanted to do as soon as she had the chance. She had to be alert to be able to see the chance and take it. She hurt, but as long as they were resting she could rest and regain some strength.

“If we hit her in front it will hurt more,” she heard Peter say.

“It may hurt more, but we do more damage from the back,” Sebastian replied.

Peter moved in front of her joined Sebastian. 

“Sebastian, you take your turn whipping her. I'm going to watch her squirm.” Peter smiled. 

Sebastian turned around looking for Caleb. “Where did Caleb go?”

“Caleb was always a coward.” said Peter. 

The door flew open just as the hard strike she had been waiting for fell, and gathering all her strength, Phoenix pulled herself up enough to swing her legs around Peter’s neck. The pain clawed through her. She gripped her legs tighter and tighter, and managed to use his neck as leverage to pull herself down from the hook. She threw her body in hopes that she could bring Peter with her.

One wrist had broken, but she used the force of her fall to the floor to snap Peter’s neck. To make sure he was truly dead, she snapped his neck the other way as soon as she staggered to her feet. Her last bit of energy gave her the chance to turn around and see the three best people in the world and smell her most favorite thing: mint and wind. 


	28. Return

Four dropped his gun as Phoenix fell into his arms. “You came,” she cried. 

_ How can I hold her without hurting her? _  “Of course. Told you I would. I will never not come for you when you need me.” 

“We’re gonna have to fight our way out,” Will said. “Unless there's another way out of here.”

“There is,” Phoenix said. “Through that dark room is a door that will take us outside. Only problem is I don’t remember where it is or if it even opens from inside.”

“If we stay here we’re safe until the fight is over,” Christina said. 

“I just need a few minutes to catch my breath,” Phoenix said. She tried to walk to the nearest chair and almost collapsed halfway there.

“Love,” Four said, helping her right herself. “Take it easy.”

“I'm fine,” Phoenix said, clearly trying to sound steady. Four wasn’t fooled, and by her expression, neither was Christina.

“Liar,” Christina said. “You need a shirt.” She took one of Four’s shirts - loose fitting and soft - out of her pack and helped Phoenix put it on. 

Phoenix managed a weak smile. Four had to get her out of here fast, but how?

“How many did you bring?” Phoenix asked.

“Enough,” Four answered. “Don’t worry about it.” He needed her alive and with him, not worrying about logistics.

Four walked around the room, wracking his brain. That dark room had piqued his curiosity when Phoenix had mentioned it, but he didn’t want to take her through it if he didn’t have to. Something about her tone had put him off. Christina had already walked in, though. Four joined her after making sure that Will stayed with Phoenix, giving him an extra weapon just in case someone walked in.

Christina’s whole face was a silent scream. Tears flooded her eyes. “Holy shit,” she whispered. “Four, this is…”

“Yeah,” Four said, looking around. The sight before him made him sick. There were hooks hanging from the ceiling and a wall. A chair that looked like the “trial chair” in Candor sat in the center; there were chains at its base. Next to the chair was a bloodstained table just long enough for someone to lie down on. There was a fireplace against one wall, and when Four looked above it he could see dried blood smeared on the mantel. Cameras looked down from every corner. 

“Welcome to hell,” Phoenix said from the doorway, making Christina jump and Four shudder.

“This was built for my mother to use when anyone disobeyed her or had something she wanted. They would be escorted outside the building and brought back in through the door from the outside.” She gestured vaguely at one of the walls. Will had followed Phoenix; Four gave him a nod, and he went to the wall to start looking for the door. Phoenix didn’t seem to notice as she continued. “My mother would beat them - or, really, have them beaten - until her  _ victim _ -” She spat the word “-broke. This is how she was able to gain access to Dauntless cameras; she got one of our former leaders in here and he told her everything she wanted to know. Once the punishment was over, they would be brought into that room to be cleaned and given a few days to heal.” She tilted her head toward the room behind her. “After that they’d leave this room and pray they never came back. But as I grew up outside Erudite and was brought back, I was privy to some information that I’ve held onto for several years.”

“Phoenix?” Will started. “Did---”

“No,” Phoenix finished. “Tris was never in this room to my knowledge. Mother had another room for her.”

“What’s the information?” Four asked cautiously. He knew Jeanine was a nightmare, but he still hadn’t imagined anything like this. He felt bad for not realizing how much pain had caused Phoenix’s scars. Had he really thought she’d be ok coming back here? But he was proud and highly impressed by her ability to reject victimhood.

“Very few people actually came out of this room alive. The ones who did were made factionless and cast out the minute they ‘felt’ better,” she responded. “I want to change that.”

“Uh,  _ yeah _ ,” said Christina. Then she seemed to catch up with her brain. “Wait, what?” She’d actually been speechless as she looked at the room and listened to Phoenix. Four hadn’t thought that was possible. She was shaking and still wiping tears from her face.

“Blake said he gave you the bag full of books and papers,” Phoenix said.

“Yeah,” Christina answered, visibly pulling herself together. “But I didn’t go through all of them,  just made sure the bag had paper in it. I saw some idea about the fence but that was really it.”

“We can look at it later,” Four said when he saw Will gesture that he had found the door. “Right now we have to get you out of here.”

They started toward the door; Four could see Phoenix was in excruciating pain, even though she was doing her best to stand tall.

“Please just get me out of here,” she said. “I can’t be here any longer.” Her face crumpled, and he saw the tears start to fall. “I hurt everywhere.”

The four of them made it into the hallway and started walking as fast as they could. Hall after hall echoed with gunfire and shouts, making them turn aside from the fastest route time after time. Finally they reached a door Four recognized, and before Phoenix could say a word, he pushed it open. 

Pacing in front of the bank of dark monitors was Jeanine Matthews. “Would you care to explain, Caleb, why I can't see my faction?” She didn’t bother to look toward the door. The chill in her even tone made Four’s scalp prickle, and Christina’s breath hitched from beside him.

“Because he fled the compound when Sebastian said it was under attack,” Phoenix said. She might look (sort of)  steady, but her voice wavered, betraying her pain and fear.  

“Talia.” Jeanine turned around and found seven guns pointed at her. The people holding them showed no mercy in their eyes. Phoenix held one gun in her working hand, while Four, Christina, and Will each held two. 

“You will come with us,” Four said. 

“I would die first before going anywhere with the likes of you, Tobias.” 

He watched while Phoenix walked towards her mother, placed her weapon in a pocket, picked up the heaviest thing she could, and knocked her out cold. Phoenix started to try to bind and gag her mother with one hand. Four watched for just a minute, and then put his hands over Phoenix’s. 

“Let me bind her,” he said gently.

“I gag her,” Phoenix demanded. Jeanine started to stir.  

Will and Christina started pulling books off the shelves. 

“What are y'all doing?” Four asked. 

“Getting more books for Phoenix,” Will answered. 

“She loves reading. Have you seen her collection?” Christina said with a little smile.

Phoenix watched as Four tightened Jeanine’s bonds. Her body was screaming for rest. Her legs were charred from the burns and her back was raw and bloody from the whip. At least the shirt wasn't causing too much pain. She was glad not to be exposed. 

“Are we planning on parading Jeanine through Erudite?” Will asked.

“No,” Phoenix whispered. “She wants the attention.” She looked at Jeanine, who was now fully awake. “We can take her down the elevator behind this door, and it will take us to her car.”

Jeanine’s eyes went wide, then narrowed. 

“Yes,” Phoenix said. “I've studied the layout of this building for years. And there was a time you would take me out this way.”

Jeanine's eyes narrowed even more. Phoenix started to speak, but closed her mouth.

“Easy, Phoenix,” Four soothed. “I don’t need you causing a problem.” Phoenix shot him a look full of her rage and disbelief. She watched Jeanine smirk.

Obviously realizing how that sounded, he leaned in to murmur in her ear, “You’ll have your chance, but I want to take you home and make sure you’re healed before you have to deal with her.” 

Phoenix sighed, relieved that the remark had only been tactless, not a betrayal. “Very well.” Four kissed the space behind her ear, and she relaxed as much as she could through the pain.

They walked out of Erudite compound with Jeanine between Four and Will. Christina and Phoenix followed, Christina holding Phoenix steady. “When was the last time you ate?” she asked as Phoenix wobbled yet again.

Phoenix had to think about it. “The day before Peter showed up,” she said finally.

“Fuck me, Phoenix, that was six days ago.” Phoenix just nodded.

“Four,” Christina called. “We need to add starvation to the list of charges against Jeanine.”

Four turned around as Phoenix fell to the floor. “Will, take this bitch and ---”

Dauntless members came out of the Hub with only five Erudite members following. Phoenix noticed, as they got closer, that each one had their sleeves rolled up. They joined Will, one helping take some of his burden from him. 

“What’s all this about?” Christina asked.

Four began shaking hands. “They’ve been with us from the beginning.”

“We are loyal to Triage,” one said.

“Phoenix,” Phoenix said. “My name is Phoenix.”

“We are taking Jeanine back to Dauntless to pay for her crimes,” Christina said. All the new arrivals immediately aimed at Jeanine and cocked their guns.

“Hold your fire!” Four yelled. “Form a perimeter around us, and I want four guns on Jeanine at all times. But anyone who kills her or harms her in any way will go in the cage with her body when we get back. She’s not getting out of this that easily!”

Four knelt down to pick up Phoenix. “Don’t leave me,” he whispered. 

“Hmmm,” Phoenix said back. “Never.”

Back in Dauntless, once Jeanine was secure in her cage, Four took turns with Will and Christina to carry Phoenix. When it was Christina’s turn at carrying, Will and Four placed her on Christina’s back and held her steady.

“Don’t you dare die on me, Phoenix,” she ordered. “I swear to God, I’ll bring you back and kill you again. I will not live with Four again if you’re gone.” 

Phoenix just groaned. 

Christina handed her to Four as they arrived in medical. Laying her gently on her stomach in the nearest bed, he ordered Blake to heal her. 

“I’ve  _ been  _ healing her,” Blake said. “I can’t work miracles. The only thing I can really do at this point is clean the wounds and give her the healing serum.” 

“I’ve never asked this question in my life, Blake, but I’m making an exception for you. I have to ask you now since you’ve been Erudite too long.”

“My loyalties are to Dauntless and Phoenix.” Blake didn’t even wait for Four to ask.

“Then why go to Erudite?”

“Because Dauntless doctors suck.” Blake laughed. “I knew the only way to help Dauntless was to be Erudite long enough to become a doctor. Now unless you want to hear bones breaking, I suggest you go and let me work. I need to break her wrist again so that I can set it properly, and I’ll need her sedated for that.”

“Let me know when you’re done?” Four tried not to outright beg.

“I will,” Blake assured him.

Four saw two fence guards walking by and flagged them down. “You are to stand outside medical until I say otherwise. I’ll have your commander organize shifts. No one is to come in here except me, Christina, Will, Blake who is her doctor, and Trevor. Anyone else gets sent to me.”

“Yes, Sir,” one guard said, and they took up their posts on either side of the door.

Every day Four visited Phoenix to check on her, and every day he let Dauntless know her status. Two weeks went by, and her wounds were healing, but she didn’t wake up. He got more and more worried. Things were supposed to be okay by now! He had even made arrangements with Tori to finish Phoenix’s tattoo if she still wanted it, but Tori refused to do it until Phoenix was awake.

“Blake.” Four grabbed him. “Why isn’t she waking up? She’s been home for two weeks, she should be awake by now.”

“Four.” Blake removed Four’s hand from his shirt. “She’s been through some major trauma. It’s going to take longer than a couple of weeks. She’s getting better, but she has a way to go, and her body isn’t the only thing that needs to heal.”

One night Four decided that he wasn’t going to leave Phoenix’s side until she woke up. She was the most important thing in his life. He placed Christina as interim Head of Dauntless. 

“Are you sure?” she had asked.

“Yes,” Four responded. “It’s what’s best for the faction. Phoenix is my only priority.”

“Ok,” she sighed.

Four had wanted to make sure that Phoenix’s wounds were completely healed before he moved her, but he needed to be with her now. He discussed it with Blake, who told him she was healed enough to move out of isolation and made sure she had the biggest bed in medical. He knew that if for any reason Four wasn’t lying down with her, protecting her, then Christina would be. That night, Four climbed on the bed and wrapped his arms around Phoenix. He felt her sigh and move closer without flinching, and was able to sleep deeply for the first time since they got back. 

When Phoenix woke up, she wasn't alone. In fact, she could barely move. She shut her eyes again and tried to calm her breathing. Had she dreamed the rescue? Was she still trapped, maybe tied to that table, in Erudite? Then she realized that her face was resting on a hard chest. She could hear the steady heartbeat, and then mint and wind filled her nostrils. 

“Four,” she sighed. “I love you.” 

She opened her eyes and looked up to see Four’s face. Will was at her feet, and she could move her head just enough to see Christina at her back.  _ My family.  _

“You know I love you guys, but if one of you doesn't move I'm throwing you off this bed,” she croaked. 

Christina was the first to move. “Phoenix! Oh my god!” 

“I'm not deaf, Chris,” Phoenix said, covering an ear by laying it back on Four’s chest.

“Oh my god!” Christina repeated. She wrapped Phoenix in a giant hug that only hurt a little. “I'm so glad you're going to be ok!”

“Easy, Chris. I'm still sore.” 

Christina let go and helped her move off the bed. “Are you hungry?”

“I'm  _ starving _ ,” Phoenix said. “But I need your help in getting to the bathroom. I feel like I'm caked in my grime.”

“You're not, but ok.” Christina helped her get to the bathroom. 

Phoenix didn't really need help, but she didn't want to be alone. It was foolish for a Dauntless to be afraid, especially when she was safe in Dauntless medical, but she wanted her family to be with her. Alone meant there was no defense if someone wanted to hurt her. Again. Shaking her head, knowing the fear was irrational but unable to let it go, she found a long mirror mounted on the wall and braced herself for what she would see. 

“No.” Christina stopped her from looking. “Not till we're all awake and you've eaten. We want to make sure you’re ok, mentally.” 

Phoenix stared at Christina.

“Phoenix, I don’t mean to offend.”

“It’s ok, Chris. You’re probably right. How long have I been out?”

They walked back to Phoenix’s bed. Four was still asleep, and Will had moved another bed next to hers. He was awake and there in case Christina needed help. They helped her climb back in bed and sit next to Four, but she grabbed Christina's hand as she started to shake. 

“Four,” Christina said sharply.

“Hmmm.”

“Get up.” 

When Four didn't move, Christina yelled, “NOW!”

Four shot upright. “What's wrong?”

“She's up.”

Four looked at her and she felt her tears start to return. He wrapped his arms around her, but she never let go of Christina's hand. 

“I need to lay down,” Phoenix said. 

“Ok.” Four was so calm. 

“What happened to me?” Phoenix asked. “I remember some of it, mainly Caleb sawing something off me, but after that I don't know. I guess I blacked out.”

“We hacked into the camera feed from your room. It's hard to watch, Phoenix, but if you really want to know we can show you,” Four said. 

“When we found you,” Will started. “You had your legs around Peter’s neck. I thought Four was going to come undone until you stood up and Peter didn't. My guess is that you snapped his neck.”

Phoenix just nodded. She still had hold of Christina's hand. Her other hand was on Four’s chest, feeling his heartbeat.  He started to stroke her back gently, when her tears began to spill over. 

“Why was he carving on my back? What did he take?” Phoenix asked. 

“Your Erudite eye tattoo,” Four said. 

She had cried herself dry by the time Blake and Trevor arrived with food. Not once during her fit did she ever release her hold on Christina. In fact, it felt as though Christina's grip only got tighter. 

Phoenix ate one bacon sandwich before anybody spoke. “How long was I out?” she asked again.

“Three weeks, after we brought you home.” Will said.

“I'm going to take Phoenix to her place,” Christina said. “Going to get her into some real clothes and take her to see Tori.”

“I can do that,” Four said. Phoenix was now eating cake. His complaining tone warmed her, but it also made her laugh with her mouth full, getting cake crumbs all over the bed.

Christina rolled her eyes. “Four, she still loves you, in case you were doubting, but she hasn't let go of me since she finished washing her face. Come with us, but I think she's scared still.”

“But she's ...home now,” he protested.

“I don't think she's going to get that until she sees the cage.” That doused the laughter.

Christina took one look at Phoenix’s face. “Ok. Phoenix, after you’re dressed, let’s meet at Tori’s. She’ll want to see you. She’s been in here just about every day,” Christina said. “Four had to add her to the list of people who were allowed to see you.”

Phoenix and Christina walked out of medical hand in hand. In the doorway Phoenix stopped, turned around, and walked as fast as she could back to Four. 

Before he could react, Phoenix kissed him on the cheek. His arms circled her carefully, and she was grateful. She was pretty sure one of his strong hugs would hurt her. 

“My love,” she said. “I never doubted you for a minute.”

“Don't leave me,” he said. 

“Never,” she replied. Then she winked. “Except to get showered and dressed. Bring cake.”

Four set her down, and she grabbed Christina's hand again as they left the room. “That's my girl!” he called after them.

The next few weeks were spent resting, eating, and getting her strength back. Phoenix felt better each day, and was beginning think that all would be well. They had all watched the video of her time in  _ that _ room, and after all their tears and screams, she knew there was one thing left she had to do. 

“Where is she?” Phoenix asked Will one day. 

“In a cage,” he answered, knowing immediately who she meant.

“I want to see her.” 

“Well, fuck, Phoenix.” Will sighed. “You have to check with Four first.” 

“What? No.” She was adamant. “I'm going down there now.”

Phoenix went back to her room to change her clothes. She could admit she wanted the armor, and her black pants, steel toed boots, and red shirt were definitely that. She grabbed several blades, making sure some were visible and some hidden. Her wrist still hurt, but she was comforted by the coolness of a blade sheathed in a wrist guard. Then she attached her leg holster with a sidearm in case she felt that she needed it. Putting her jacket on, she added a small black vial in her inside pocket, an orange vial in the outside pocket, and a red vial in another pocket. 

She looked herself over in the mirror. “Maybe a little overkill, but so was what she did to me.”

Phoenix walked across the chasm and headed for the cages. Dauntless members turned to look at her as she walked; some made a path for her and five people followed her. The guard on duty opened the door and stepped aside. 

There she was. Her blue suit had been exchanged for a black jumpsuit. Her nice comfy bed was now a cot. A chair sat outside the cage.

Jeanine turned around and saw Phoenix standing there.

“Hello, Mother.”


	29. Confession

“Hello, Mother.”

“Oh, my darling,” Jeanine crooned, reaching through the bars. “When I heard about what Caleb and Peter did, I was so worried.”

“Well, that’s bullshit,” Phoenix muttered, then addressed her mother again. “You look well.” She was going to have a talk with Four. She understood that Jeanine had rights as a prisoner but still she needed to suffer a little. 

Jeanine waved away the statement. “I adapt.” Her face softened a little. “I needed to know you were okay, but no matter how many times I asked I didn’t get an answer.”

“Cut the act, Mother. We both know this isn't you.”

“Well, it was worth a shot.” Jeanine shrugged.

Phoenix just laughed. “You thought being nice to me, to me of all people, would get you out of here?”

“As the head of Erudite, I command you to let me out of here. What they did is illegal; Erudite will make sure that I’m avenged.” That was the real Jeanine; calm, powerful, and manipulative. It stung that she said ‘head of Erudite’ instead of ‘your mother.’ But not hearing ‘your mother’ also gave Phoenix a reason to punish this prisoner. 

“No,” Phoenix said shortly. 

“Excuse me?”

“Oh, I'm sorry, was I not speaking clearly enough for you?” Phoenix just oozed sarcasm. “I said no.”

“As head of Erudite you  _ will _ release me now, or I will bring you up on charges of kidnaping.”

“You’re not in Erudite now,” Phoenix said coolly. “And you obviously don’t understand the gravity of the charges.” 

“Charges. Please.” She laughed. “You Dauntless will release me, since there is no proof that I did anything. It’s your word against mine, and mine carries more weight.”

“Actually, Jeanine, there is more proof than you think.” Phoenix grinned evilly. Watching Jeanine’s face go ashen gave her a rush of joy at her power over the creator of her worst nightmares. “Every time I was taken to that room as a child, the whole thing was recorded. We have the recording of your “experiments” on Tris. We have audio of you telling Tris that you were going to kill her.”

“Impossible. You really need to learn to bluff, Talia.”

“We also have my most recent trip to that room. Every little detail. I’ve seen the recording in full color and crystal-clear audio.” 

“Talia --” Jeanine frowned. Phoenix was disappointed she didn’t  look rattled. Her voice just sounded impatient.

Phoenix chuckled as she turned the chair to sit on it backwards. “Talia's dead. She died shortly before Dauntless entered the compound. Blood loss.”

“Then how is it that my daughter is in front of me?”

“Was I ever truly your daughter?” Phoenix asked. “Or was I just a mistake you made use of?”

Jeanine shrugged and smirked.

“ANSWER ME!” Phoenix pulled a knife, knowing Jeanine would recognize the easy way she held it ready to throw.

Jeanine’s eyes widened, but she didn’t speak. 

Phoenix threw the knife expertly between the bars, clipping a few hairs from Jeanine’s head on its way through the cage. She wouldn’t want to provide Jeanine with a weapon. “I’m the last person you should ask for mercy, after everything you put me through,” she snarled. “My back and legs are covered in scars and burns that will never go away. You had your protegé continue to whip me until my blood  _ poured _ out of my body. Do you know he sawed my Erudite tattoo off?”

Jeanine crossed her arms.

“Careful, Jeanine, her accuracy gets deadly when she’s like this.” Phoenix could hear the smile in Christina’s voice as her friend joined her. 

“Did you ever miss me while I was away from you, or just miss how you could hurt me? Or was I ‘too kind, too blunt, or too stupid’ for you? Why did you even have a child?”

Jeanine shrugged again, her lip curled scornfully. “Not so I could have a child like you. Your father was a bad choice. He almost ruined my plans.”

_ What? _ “Tell me about him,” Phoenix ordered. Could she have had a refuge...but no. Jeanine didn’t suffer mistakes. She erased them.

“Why do you want to know?” Jeanine asked slyly. “He’s no use to you.”

Phoenix gripped the hilt of another knife and pulled it partly out of its sheath, just enough for Jeanine to see. Christina glanced at her, then addressed Jeanine. “Tell her what she wants to know. And it would be best to get on with it. That knife doesn’t mean a fast painless death, you know.”

Jeanine eyed the knife, for the first time showing a tiny trace of fear. “Fine,” she  groaned, as though put upon. “He was stunning, but he was also too kind, and dumb as a box of rocks. He wasn’t even Erudite, he was Amity. The idea of having sex with him was repulsive at best, so I just told him he needed an examination, and took his sperm. I figured that if my child could have his looks and my ideals, they would be the best leader the factions had ever seen. Eric was born, and believe me, I was happy. It had worked perfectly. He looked like his father, yet was as ruthless as I am. You have none of the qualities I need; obviously you took after your father.” Her eyes flicked over Phoenix’s face. “On the inside, anyway. You’re useless, and so was your father. I sent you to Amity and had him taken care of.”

“Why have me?” Phoenix asked.

“Because children can be controlled. If I could have a child, of mine, in every faction I would have complete control.” Jeanine answered.

“You had my father killed.” Phoenix knew she was getting better at hiding her emotions, but her other  hand had begun to move toward her gun as Jeanine spoke.

“Yes,” Jeanine said. “Talia, I’m a faction leader. I have to make hard choices to keep my people well taken care of. It can be exhausting.” For once, Phoenix was able to see Jeanine deliberately create the mask of “haunted-but-selfless.”. 

“Liar.” Phoenix chuckled, unexpectedly amused at the bare-faced lie. Hard choices? Really? Surely Jeanine couldn’t really think she would fall for that. “I know all too well that you can manipulate just about anyone into doing what you want them to do. Hell, you did it with me.” She placed the knife back in its sheath but kept her hand on the hilt, finding the metal smooth and grounding. “You know, there was a time I would have done anything you wanted, even given my life for you. But since I didn't fit into your perfect mold, I was sent away. You threw away something you didn’t even know you had.” Phoenix turned her back; her family was there. Looking at them standing in the shadows gave her the courage to be done with Jeanine. “Candor will be here at some point to interrogate you.” 

“Talia…”

“Is dead,” Phoenix snapped.

“Whatever,” Jeanine said dismissively. “I will be dead before Candor comes to get me.”

“No, you won’t,” Phoenix responded, rounding back to face Jeanine. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the red vial. “We’ll give you this serum, and you’ll spill your guts about how you feel about me, the factions, other leaders. Anything, everything, and then when Candor gives you their serum you could die. No one, not even you, have tested the effects of doubling a serum.”

“I knew about your backup plan.” Phoenix said. “When you were brought here you searched for anything that would harm you or dauntless. We even placed guards  _ outside _ you cage so you couldn’t manipulate them into releasing you. So, no, Jeanine you will be given my serum and then Candor will give you there’s and we can see what happens.”

“You can’t!” 

Phoenix could see real fear in her mother’s eyes, and it didn’t bother her. “Well, it’s not like I’m going to tell anyone I’m doing this. Kinda like you when it came to me.”

Four was done being silent. “Phoenix!” he barked. 

Without another word Phoenix turned around. 

“Give me the vial.” He walked towards her, holding out a hand. She stood tall and defiant, and his heart quickened at her beauty and also strength. She’s facing down her greatest tormentor without flinching. “We’re going to do this right - in front of everyone she’s used and hurt.” He hoped his eyes told her that this was for the best.

He took Phoenix's hand and together they walked out. 

“What was that all about?” she demanded as soon as the door shut behind them. She wrenched her hand out of his, anger clouding her eyes. “You think stopping me now is going to be the end of this?” Trevor and Blake took a step closer as protective brothers, Christina started to reach out for her, and Will just walked to a control panel and flipped a switch.

“Look, the Candor officials are here.” Will gestured to the approaching Candors. “Do you want to be there for the official interrogation? It's up to you.”

“I just want her dead, Four.” Her body was stiff as she turned her back and walked away.

Four watched her stalk away as the two Candor officials approached him. 

“Four, it's good to see you,” one said. “I take it there is a reason we were called early?”

“We have Jeanine Matthews in a cage, as I said. I wanted Phoenix to speak with her first, and she saw her earlier than I thought. I have video evidence to prove that she had her daughter beaten and starved. I also have evidence that she murdered Tris Prior. It is her daughter's wish that justice be served, whether Jeanine is put to death or not. She prefers death. I can promise you that if death somehow isn't the decision, Dauntless will hold her in a single cage until she dies. Just to be clear, gentlemen, Jeanine's daughter is not only a leader in training, but also my girlfriend. I think you should also know that she will replace me as Head of Dauntless in the morning. Ultimately, Phoenix will make the final decision on her mother’s fate.”

“Very well.”

“If you'll excuse me, I have other things that require my attention. Will will be your Dauntless representative for the interrogation, and Blake will represent Erudite. I believe Phoenix has chosen not to attend,” Four said with a nod of his head, and walked away. 

“Four?” the Candor man asked his back. “Why is every television in the city showing Jeanine Matthews pacing in a cage?”

““We want her trial public, “ Christina answered. 

Phoenix sat in her room, reacting to what had just happened. Feeling shaky and angry, edgy. The interrogation. She should be at the interrogation! What if Jeanine fooled the Candor officials into going easy on her? Phoenix jumped up and ran back towards the cages. The Candor officials were inside, though, and she wasn’t allowed in. She felt jittery, almost manic, her thoughts spinning. She couldn’t stay still. 

What could she do to deal with it? She knew she needed to calm down. She thought briefly of a round with a punching bag, but she was still sore from her last workout. Eventually she ran to the cafeteria and ordered five bacon sandwiches, one with eggs, and very large slice of Dauntless cake.

She arrived at Tori’s shop and kicked the door open. 

Tori looked up to see who had just kicked her door in. Then she grinned and turned toward the back. “Val!” she yelled. “Finish him up!” Tori gave Phoenix the once over and opened her arms.

“Right!” yelled Val. “It’s good to see you, Phoenix.”

Just as Phoenix handed Tori the food, Christina came running in. “Candor has already made a decision!” she exclaimed.

“That was quick,” Phoenix said, worried. “Maybe too quick.” She began to wring her hands.

Tori set the food down and the three of them rushed out the door. Phoenix took hold of Christina’s hand, and Tori put a hand on Phoenix’s shoulder. 

Four stood on top of a stone in the Pit, waiting for Phoenix to arrive. When she climbed up next to him, he smiled, kissed her cheek, then turned to the crowd.

“Nine weeks ago, Phoenix was taken from us. She was beaten, starved, and would have been killed. Eight weeks ago we took a team into Erudite and rescued her. She slept for only three weeks before she was able to get up. In the last four weeks she has regained her strength, while Jeanine Matthews sat in a cage.”

Cheers went up through the pit. Four held his hands up for silence. “Today officials from Candor administered their truth serum to Jeanine Matthews, recorded and evaluated everything she said and was proved to have done, and have come to a decision for her punishment.”

“Relax,” Christina whispered, as he felt  Phoenix tense up even more beside him. She was standing right up against the stone, one hand on Phoenix’s ankle, and had obviously felt it as well. “We’re all here for you.”

“They have ruled that she will live in exile for the rest of her life. Outside the fence.” 

Cheers went up. Dauntless members were high fiving, but Phoenix didn't look happy. Four stepped down, lifted Phoenix down as well, and pulled her to the center of the crowd. Christina came along with her, keeping hold of her hand. 

“She’ll stay in a cage for a year first so she can witness the plans that Phoenix has,” Four said with pride. 

“My plans?” she asked. 

“Yes,” Four responded. “A bridge has been built between Dauntless and Erudite. You are our bridge. The Factionless are no longer factionless, they are now Dauntless, as is any Erudite who wishes to be. We start with that and then move forward. Abnegation to Candor, then to Amity”

“I still want her dead,” Phoenix said flatly. 

“I’ll give you the bullet.” Four smiled. “She will  _ never _ hurt you again.”

Phoenix released Christina's hand, pulled him close, and kissed him hard on the mouth. 

“Well, that took forever!” Christina yelled over the cheers.   

The four of them went back to Phoenix’s room, where Christina handed her two books. 

“What’s this?” Phoenix asked.

“When we were in Jeanine’s office we found these,” Will said. 

“We wanted you to have them,” Christina explained. “We left the library intact in case we need to look up a few things for your bridge.”

“So what are the titles?” Four asked. “I only watched them pull things from the shelf.”

“Let’s see,” Phoenix said, opening the first one. “Damn, this thing is heavy.  _ Ice and Fire _ and  _ Ice and Fire: 90 Days to a Whole New World _ by SteeleHoltingOn.”

“Then there’s this one.” Will handed her another.

“ _ Perspective _ by Booklady.” She thumbed through it. “Shag? Looks like this takes place in Britain.”

“We think those names are pen names,” Will began. “Back before the fence was erected, people who could write would sometimes create an electronic book. These two were some of the first ones that Erudite found. One of the Erudite leaders had them printed off and passed them from one leader to the next. There’s no telling if the leaders actually read them or not, though.”

“You’ll let me read them when you’re done, right?” Christina winked. Phoenix picked up the one titled  _ Ice and Fire _ and opened to a random page.

“You bet,” she said. “From this page alone, I’m pretty sure things will be interesting.” 

Christina yanked the book from her, and as she read her eyes widened and her face flushed. “Dear god.” She continued reading. She turned the page. “Holy shit!”

“Did you just blush, Christina?” Phoenix teased. “Is that even possible?”

“Shut up.” Christina laughed. 

“I’m hungry,” Phoenix said with a smile. “Go to your own room, Chris. My room is for me, not you.” 

Will and Christina left, but not without Christina hugging Phoenix again. “I’m so glad you’re home.”

“Me too,” Phoenix said, grabbing the book back before Chris could sneak it away.

That night, Phoenix made her way from the cages to Four’s old room, where she was now  watching the sun set and the stars shine. She closed her eyes and let the last few months replay in her mind.  They were painful, but they were done. It was over. It was time for her to truly take her place among the Dauntless leadership, and this new leadership was going to bring change. 

She had assigned people to work on the bridge that would connect the Hub, the Erudite compound, and Dauntless. She had had her mother's cage relocated under heavy guard so that she was forced to watch the changes being made. Knowing her mother was enraged but helpless made her smile. She took a deep breath and her nose was filled with orange and cinnamon.

“Hey Chris,” she said. “How did you know where I was?”

“Saw you walk in.” Christina was crying. Phoenix could smell she wasn’t alone.

“What's wrong?” Phoenix turned around and held out her arms.

“I was so so scared, Talia.” Christina hugged her tightly. “I know that's not your name anymore, but I needed to say it one last time.”

“It's ok,” Phoenix said. “I was scared too. Scared that I was never going to see you or the guys again. Afraid that you would forget about me.”

“Phoenix, that will never happen.”

“I know that now, but that’s why I haven’t let go of you whenever we’re together. Kinda making sure you’re real and I’m not in a simulation or dream. Same thing with Four; I have to touch him at all times now. Just smelling Will is a big help too.”

“Yes,” Christina smiled. “Will does smell good.”

“That’s why we all got bigger beds,” Will laughed. “That way if we all crash in one place you have us with you no matter what. Besides, do you think any of us will let you out of our sight for the next year?”

“I hope not,” Phoenix replied. “I feel like part of me died, not just my name.”

“How so?” Four asked, bringing her to sit down on the bed. 

“Well, when I came to Dauntless I was scared shitless that because of my mother, I would be made one of the Factionless. I lost my mentor, but then I ran into someone one morning who became my best friend. After she pushed a little.” She grabbed Christina’s hand. “And by some miracle, she didn’t come alone. She brought me a big brother.”

“What about a lover?” Four asked with a smile.

“That, my love, is you.” She turned to kiss him. “Don’t leave me.”

“Hmmm,” he said. “Never.” He mumbled the words, as he was still kissing back.

“I think it’s time to bury Talia and Triage; they were brave, but Phoenix is here to stay.”

“Good,” Christina said, kissing her on the forehead. “Do you want to make your own name plate for the Wall of Flame?”

“Probably,” Phoenix said with a laugh. “It will be good for me to get back into the shop again.”

“Thank God.” Will hugged her. The two of them left the room so Four and Phoenix could have some privacy.

“So, want to tell me about Peter?” Four asked. 

“He punched me one too many times, and I snapped his neck.” She retold the story.  

Four hugged her. “Tris would be proud.I think your idea of tearing the fence down and rebuilding this country is perfect. From what I've read, the founding fathers based their ideas on freedom. It's time we do the same,” Four continued. 

“Agreed.”

“I also read that this country was called America. In its entire existence it never had a woman in power. I think that needs to change as well. And tomorrow I'm making you the first ever female Head of Dauntless.” 

“Wait, what?” She stopped. “Why?”

“Because men, like me, have messed things up enough,” Four said. “It’s time for something different. You’ve already made Dauntless better, and it will continue to get better. I think you’re the perfect leader for us, and I’ll follow you no matter what.”

Phoenix pushed him down and kissed him. “I think I can live with that. Don't leave me.”

“Hmmm,” he said. “Never.”


	30. Final

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for joining me on this ride.

(6 months later) 

The weather was finally turning cold; Phoenix felt, for the first time in months, like a whole person. She had visited Tori several times over the course of the last few months; they drew and redrew her phoenix until it matched the image in her heart and mind. Today was the day. She was going to finally finish the tattoo and release her mother into the wilds of the world. Maybe. 

She arrived at Tori’s place and knocked. There was no sound from inside, but Tori opened the door. The first thing Phoenix saw was Christina asleep on a table. 

“We’ve been waiting,” Tori said gently. 

“I fell asleep,” Phoenix said. _I was_ _really trying to psych myself up._ “Sorry.”

“It’s ok. Come on, we’ve got food.” Tori smiled.

Phoenix walked in to see her loved ones already there. Will was standing in a corner wadding up a towel, which he threw at Trevor and Blake, who were kissing in the opposite corner. 

“Guys?” he said. “Get a room.” They stopped kissing, and Trevor threw the towel at Will’s head. 

Christina woke up when Will spoke and made her way to Phoenix, giving her the standard huge hug. “This is going to be fun,” she said with a giant grin which made Phoenix relax.

Letting go of Christina, Phoenix looked around for the one person who meant the most to her - more every day.  _ Where is he? _

“Come eat something,” Tori said. “Or maybe a drink?”

“I think I should wait,” Phoenix said, knowing what was going to happen next. “I think I need to wait on the tattoo just a little longer.”

“But why?” Christina asked.

“Because Jeanine needs to be dealt with,” Four said behind Phoenix. She nodded, turning. “But personally, I think she needs to see what you’ve become.”

“It’s up to you,” Christina said, taking her hand again. 

Four wrapped her in a protective hug. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to rush. I’m sorry.”

Phoenix squared her shoulders. Jeanine  _ should _ see how totally she had failed to break her. “Let me eat first.” A loud cheer went up, and she laughed. 

They all ate their fill, enjoying each other’s company and laughing loudly. Phoenix sat in between Four’s legs and leaned back on his chest, feeling safe and loved. Will and Christina sat the same way, but instead of sitting in front of Four and Phoenix, they sat an angle, and Christina stuck one leg out. Phoenix placed her leg on top, keeping contact, knowing that Christina would always have her back.   Blood or not, Christina was her best friend and sister. 

“So,” Tori began. “We can do this the old fashioned way, and we’d all be here for several hours. Or we do this Trevor’s way, and it’s done in about about two hours.”

“I’m liking the less time aspect,” Phoenix said. Feeling a little less nervous at the prospect of having less time to endure pain. “But how will it work?”

Trevor stood up and grabbed a piece of black vinyl. Phoenix stood and joined him at a counter. “The infuser works like this, these needles will pierce your skin just enough to get the black outline done,” he explained. “That should only take a few minutes. Then we take this other piece and these will insert the colors.”

“So it’s already in the shape of my bird?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Trevor smiled. “Figured it was best for you to get it done quick. Each needle will only have a to move a short distance in order to make the outline. Worse case scenario is Tori has to go over it with the gun later.”

Christina joined them and took Phoenix’s hand. Trevor placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. “We can do this in bursts, Phoenix,” Trevor said. 

“You’re shaking,” Christina whispered. 

“Thought I was over this,” Phoenix said. “My scars are memories. Memories that I don’t want or need anymore. I shouldn’t be afraid.”

“I’ve been through my fear landscape numerous times, and I’m still afraid of heights, enclosed spaces, killing an innocent, and my father,” Four said, pulling her closer. “Fears don’t go away just like that.” 

“I’m still terrified of moths,” Christina said, added reaching for a slice of cake.

Phoenix took her shirt off and went to look at herself in a long mirror. Around her bra her scars were fully healed, but so ugly. The pain of the memories hit out of nowhere. She crumpled to the floor and began to cry. Before anyone could get to her, she let out a primal scream that made everyone back up. Pulling her shirt over her head, she unhooked her bra to let herself see the full picture. The tree engulfed in flames was unscathed. 

“I have to get this done,” She growled. 

Four pulled her into himself and just held her until she stopped shaking. “We can do this another time, love.”

Phoenix shook her head. “I want this done so I can have her out of my life.”

“I love you,” he whispered. 

She looked at him. “I love you.” She kissed him. 

“We’re gonna need to get  _ them _ a room,” Will laughed. 

The tension was definitely released. Phoenix went to lie on the table.

Thirty minutes later she was crying, but took a look at the perfect outline of the phoenix. 

“We’re going to take a break so we can get the colors ready,” Trevor said. “I have a reddish orange for the body of the bird, I have red, purple, and blue for the feathers. Is that correct?”

“Yep,” Phoenix said. “This will hurt worse than the outline, won’t it?”

“Only because we’re going through scar tissue,” Tori responded. 

“None of us are leaving your side till it’s done,” Blake said. 

“How long do I have till round two?” Phoenix asked. 

“Enough to get your hair done, if you still want to,” Trevor said with a wink.

“Good.” Phoenix smiled. She grabbed Christina’s hand and they made their way to the salon. 

“What color are you wanting?” Christina asked while they walked. 

“Blue fading into purple,” she answered. 

Two hours later they walked back into Tori’s shop, and Four gave a whistle. 

“Looks great,” Will said. 

“Stunning,” Four agreed. 

“Absolutely beautiful,” Trevor said. “Are we ready?”

“Persistent as ever.” Phoenix laughed. 

“You look fantastic, Phoenix, but we’ve got other things to do today,” Tori said with sarcasm but a smile. 

Phoenix lay back down on the table and the second half of the tattoo began. This did hurt more than the first, and she did cry out a few times, but finally was able to doze soon after. No dreams of Tris came, and knowing that her family would be around her when she woke up allowed her to rest while the infuser was doing its job. 

“Love?” Four asked. “Can you wake up? It’s all over.”

“Hmm,” Phoenix said lazily. “I’m up.”

He helped her sit up, while Trevor and Tori made sure the tattoo was finished. “Looks fantastic, Trevor,” Tori said. “I could always use a new apprentice.”

“I hear he’s great with stitches,” Four chuckled. 

“Ha ha,” Phoenix giggled. “Can I look?”

“Yep,” Tori said walking her to the mirror again. “Before you look.” Phoenix watched as a tear fell from Tori’s eye. “You need to know that this tattoo represents who you are. You are a strong woman who’s been through hell and back. You are our phoenix, we are your family.”

Tori handed her the mirror a hand mirror so that she could see her full back tattoo. She gasped. “I am the phoenix,” she whispered. “Tori, I can’t —”

“Yes you can,” her family said in unison. 

“I can.” Phoenix stood taller. “I think it’s time to deal with another problem.” 

“Let’s go,” Four said. “Trevor and Blake, you will be on each side of Phoenix as we discussed. Christina, you will give the order and Will will pull the lever.”

“Lever?” Phoenix asked. 

“Come on,” Four said. “I’ll show you.”

“Come on, Tori,” Christina said.  “You’re gonna want to see this too.”

They walked outside, where a strange structure stood in front of the bridge. “What on earth is this?” Phoenix asked. 

“It’s called a gallows,” Four started. “Before they used guns to put criminals to death, they would put a rope around the person’s neck and hang them.”

“Seems logical,” Phoenix was confused. “But I thought --didn’t Candor say she was going to be made factionless outside the fence?”

“She will be buried in an unmarked grave outside the fence,” said Four. “That fulfills the sentence. Even past our personal  reasons to want her dead, we can’t let her be some kind of ruler in exile, or a martyr. Support for her and her ideas would never fade.” He shrugged. “Thought this could be the finality for all of us.”

“I can live with that,” Phoenix said, relieved and grateful that this was almost over. 

Snow was falling as all factions gathered around the gallows. 

“My name is Phoenix.” She scanned the crowd, looking for anyone outside of Dauntless she might recognize. “I stand before you as Head of Dauntless. I bring a list of crimes committed by Jeanine Matthews.”

“And what crimes are those?” A Candorman called from the crowd.

“The murder of countless Abnegation, murder of Tris Prior, abuse, starvation, and the death of her daughter, Talia Matthews. She held the factions in a grip of fear for all the years she was Head of Erudite. It’s time she pays for those crimes.”

“Agreed!” someone shouted. 

Two Dauntless Guards appeared, escorting Jeanine between them. She looked skinny and pale, but just as haughty as ever. “You’re going through with it! I’m impressed, Talia!” 

They could all see the moment she saw the gallows; her mouth snapped shut and her eyes went wide. She was silent the whole time it took for the guards to lead her up the stairs, position her on the trap door, and put the noose around her neck.

“Any last words, Jeanine?” Four asked as the snow started to fall. 

She began yelling about how Dauntless was in violation of Candor’s judgement but she looked at Phoenix, “Thought you might shoot me, Talia.” 

“You’re not worth the loss of bullets,” Phoenix mumbled, then raised her voice. “Jeanine Matthews, for your crimes against the factions, abuse of your daughter and others, and murder, this day you will hang by your neck until you are dead. . You will be buried outside the fence in an unmarked grave, your plans and your ideals forgotten.”

Jeanine just laughed. “You will never be a true leader. I will  _ never _ be forgotten. ” Will pulled the bag over her head and pulled the rope taut. Phoenix turned her back, and Dauntless followed suit as did members of Erudite, Amity, and Candor. She smelled Christina come up next to her. Behind her, she heard Will pull the lever. Jeanine fell, a loud crack ringing out which made Phoenix shiver. 

Without a look, Phoenix walked away. Her new life had just begun. 


End file.
